0243: "Appropriate Term"

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0243: "Appropriate Term"

Postby Phi » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:06 am UTC

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Alt:I know a lot of people hate these, but I prefer them to touchpads.
http://xkcd.com/c243.html

Hahah. All of my teachers have these, and they're so annoying. I really never got used to them. Maybe if I got used to these Clit-mice.
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Postby Pathway » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:07 am UTC

Trust me, they're better. When you touch a laptop's clit-mouse, the laptop knows you've touched its clit-mouse.
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Postby Gregorz » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:07 am UTC

Damn, I was just about to make this. =P

I've always wanted to try a clit mouse, but mine always come with touchpads. :( And now after a year of using my last, it only works dodgily.
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Postby cmacis » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:12 am UTC

Well if I use my touchpad excessively it starts to wear away the skin on my finger. Old laptop had a nipple, but the buttons were wired up in a very strange way. Pressing some buttons made the others turn off. Even survived a reformat with that strangeness.

The nipplemouse is okay if it keeps the fuzzy bit on top of it. My laptop was 2nd hand so it was just hard plastic. Use that for too long and you have a square imprint on your finger.

I think they should take the wii technology and make a mouse that doesn't require a surface to work on. That would be sweet.
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Postby warriorness » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:12 am UTC

I much prefer clitmice to touchpads. Can't stand touchpads. Argh.

But that's like saying I'd much rather be shot in the foot than have my face torn off. I know I'm going to use a USB mouse when I get my laptop for college.
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Postby reallylongword » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:27 am UTC

I, too, prefer the clit mice, but they only seem to show up on IBM (Lenovo? been a while since I've actually touched a laptop) laptops, and they always had that horrible placement for the effin' key where control is supposed to be. Is there any laptop or other keyboard that has a clit mouse and a sensible keyboard?
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Postby shidobu » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:31 am UTC

I really don't like the eraser-mouse (file between Trackpoint(tm) Style Pointer and nub), but that's probably because I'm unaccustomed to it. In fact, I almost said that my laptop only had a touchpad, but then I looked down and lo and behold, there IS a nub, I just never use it.

However, I've always kind of thought that it should extend into a little mini joystick for you to use.

EDIT:
Is there any laptop or other keyboard that has a clit mouse and a sensible keyboard?


Mine's a Dell (Latitude D600), and it has both.[/quote]
Last edited by shidobu on Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:34 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby cmacis » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:32 am UTC

:oops: :) Sorry, sticking a little joystick into the clit mouse? :oops: :) :o
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Postby EvanED » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:33 am UTC

reallylongword wrote:I, too, prefer the clit mice, but they only seem to show up on IBM (Linova? been a while since I've actually touched a laptop) laptops, and they always had that horrible placement for the effin' key where control is supposed to be. Is there any laptop or other keyboard that has a clit mouse and a sensible keyboard?


Lenovo. ;-)

Agreed about the keyboard layout. It's a real pity that they've screwed up the control key thing, because otherwise I really like their keyboards.

Though I don't agree about the nipple mouse (sorry, won't call it a clit mouse ;-)) vs. trackpad... I'd take the latter in an instant.
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Postby shidobu » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:34 am UTC

cmacis wrote::oops: :) Sorry, sticking a little joystick into the clit mouse? :oops: :) :o


Dear god I can't believe I didn't catch that. :D
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Postby reallylongword » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:39 am UTC

EvanED wrote:Lenovo. ;-)


Heh, I guess that's what I get for being too lazy to look things up. I haven't actually touched a laptop since I worked at Emperor Linux, which I think ruined laptops for me, and I quit before IBM gave up their name.

All of the laptop keyboards had about the same tactile feedback, but IBMs were the worst to work on because of that key misplacement. I don't like typepads since they tend to overheat when I use them (maybe I just have unnaturally hot or sweaty fingers), but it seems to me like there's a niche that could be filled by a really good keyboard layout and decent pointing device for portable computers. It's a shame that butterfly keyboard was so fragile.
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Postby Vaniver » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:40 am UTC

For some reason, this comic disappointed me. Then I started looking back at other comics, and the disappointment faded somewhat.

I think Dream Girl and Battle Room right next to each other gave me an unreasonably high expectation of awesomeness.
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Postby arecanut0 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:42 am UTC

I've always called it "Thinkpad red dot thingie" :?

I guess I only refer to "touchpads" as the rectangular area on which you move your finger around, and which you almost always seem to brush when you're trying to type something.
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Postby nahun » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:44 am UTC

I thought my brother and I were the only ones that preferred the 'nub' mouse! I remember my brother playing the first X-Wing game (in DOS) using the nub. That was amazing. I think he almost finished the thing, which is a feat in itself.

P.S.

TIE Fighter was the best game ever made... (sorry if off topic, just had to be said)
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Postby Twasbrillig » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:59 am UTC

*will now use the term "clit mouse" and no other*
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Postby parkaboy » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:02 am UTC

Alt:I know a lot of people hate these, but I prefer them to touchpads


i can play diablo II and wow with a nub. i cannot with a touchpad. i HATE touchpads.
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Postby Daem0hn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:05 am UTC

personally i call it the G-Spot because its next to the G :P

my old laptop had both, i tended to use the touchpad over the gspot, but i could use both. my new laptop only has touch pad and i have no complaints with that. i tend to use an external mouse anyway
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Postby TwilightWonder » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:12 am UTC

I hate touchpads, clitmice are much better.
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Postby d3adf001 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:16 am UTC

having a nub was actually one of my 3 requirements when i got my laptop the other 2 where having an nvidia card and having 2 gigs of ram
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Postby Westacular » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:18 am UTC

It amazes me that there are still people who prefer using those nipples. Have you actually tried using a decent touchpad recently?

Seriously, I had no strong preference for the touchpad when I started using a MacBook Pro, and now I prefer using the touchpad on that computer even over using a mouse. (Note, however, that I don't draw or play games on that computer.) I've seriously only hooked up a mouse to it about 3 times in the five months I've been using it, and it's my main computer so I use it constantly.

It was also my understanding that nipples are something of an ergonomic nightmare, with the sort of constant pressure it takes while making only the finest of movements with your index finger. From my own experience, I found nipples physically uncomfortable to use after a couple hours.

Strengths of the touchpad (on the MacBook Pro):

-Large tracking surface with strong acceleration means I can move the mouse cursor to any location on the screen, precisely, in less than a second, with a single stroke of my finger. Last I check, it was impossible to do this with the nipple (although I haven't used the newer generation IBM/Lenovo ones). Some manufacturers use little tiny touchpads, and I'd share your frustration if I had use one of those.

-Intelligent touchpad design: I never accidentally brush the pad; the physical placement combined with the drivers filter that out with remarkable effectiveness.

-Just turn the 'tap the pad to click' function off! there's a button next to it for a reason

-Apple's "drag with two fingers to scroll (in any direction)" is even better than scroll wheels.

-The placement of the trackpad, at least on this computer, allows for alternating between keyboard and pointer use with minimal movement / delay. (I will concede that it's still more movement than with a nipple.)
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Postby Guardian » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:31 am UTC

I have always heard it referred to as "clitoral interface".

Apple trackpads are the best, I am really bummed that my iBook is just older than the trackpads with the two-finger scroll.
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Postby EvanED » Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:46 am UTC

Westacular wrote:From my own experience, I found nipples physically uncomfortable to use after a couple hours.


I find them comfortable for much longer than that. ;-)

Now, nipple mice make it so I can feel the stresses in my wrists after just 15 minutes or so. (Disclaimer: Westacular is trying to argue that the newer trackpads are much better than they used to be. The computer I have experience with is about 5 years old, so it's possible nipple mice have too.)
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Postby aarmenaa » Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:27 am UTC

My high school had laptops that they allowed students to use, which had this clit mouse. I found out that if you push hard enough, you can mess them up and the cursor will slowly wander in whatever direction you push so very hard at. I figured this out because every one of them I used was afflicted with this, and pushing hard in the opposite direction would kinda balance it out. They never would quite center though, so your cursor always wandered a little bit. That's the only reason I wouldn't want one. If you're not a destructive teenager, they're probably fine, though.
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Joy Button

Postby mathrec » Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:43 am UTC

I can't believe that no one else uses the term "joy button". It appears to be a simple variation on the established term "joystick", but carries all of the implication of the term "clit mouse". With a little practice, you can use it in polite company, or you can use it with a knowing smile in more casual company.
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Postby iw » Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:59 am UTC

I always called it "the eraser". You guys are a bunch of sickos.
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Postby ArchangelShrike » Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:11 am UTC

I think I remember a long time ago playing with one of these buttons on a IBM, but having a stylus put where the red cap would be. I think it came with it and you could switch them out, or not. I forget though...
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Postby grim4593 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:52 am UTC

Hmm, personally I prefer touchpads.
I like to be able to tap the pad to left click, tap one corner to right click, and tap the other corner to middle click. I can also drag my finger on the side to scroll horizontally and vertically. There are also menus and functions the pad can do if you set it up.

The touchpad and the nub are both silent though. Clicking the mouse or buttons make a noise, and I don't like using them if someone is sleeping in the same room as the computer. Of course no one would ever want to try playing a game with the touchpad or a nub...

aarmenaa wrote:I found out that if you push hard enough, you can mess them up and the cursor will slowly wander in whatever direction you push so very hard at.


My old 49Mhz laptop had the nub that kinda did that too. If you pushed it too long with constant pressure in one direction the cursor would keep drifting in that direction. But no matter what I did after about 10 seconds the nub always reset itself so it stopped drifting.
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Postby SoapyHobo » Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:09 am UTC

I prefer touchpads to clitmice - your finger doesnt get tired as easily.

grim4593 wrote:Of course no one would ever want to try playing a game with the touchpad or a nub...


A friend of mine completed Half-Life 2 on hard with a touchpad, no idea how though.
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Postby mikekearn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:16 am UTC

My opinion: fuck laptops. Give me my damn desktop computer.

Seriously, I hate using laptops. The only time I will ever use one is when my friend comes over with his, and I need to show him something on it. Even then, I use his USB mouse, which even he doesn't use most of the time because he's lazy. I think I use it more than he does. Stupid jackass, now I'm mad at him for being so lazy he doesn't use the mouse he bought and still bitches at me for having no money.
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Postby wisnij » Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:26 am UTC

"I call it the nubbin. Who wants to touch my nubbin?" :P

I like those better too. Thinkpads FTW.
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Postby hermaj » Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:34 am UTC

I just have a wireless mouse. And y'know, plug it into my laptop. DVD case as a mousepad and you're sweet.
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Postby pumix » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:24 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure the plural of 'mouse' in the computer sense is mouses.
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Postby Toeofdoom » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:37 pm UTC

yeah, its mouses.

And USB mouses are way better than touchpads or Trackpoint tm - Style pointers. (just to be different)
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Postby damienthebloody » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:51 pm UTC

it's mice, dammit!

although i don't use mice these days - my computer is a laptop. when i'm at work, i use the touchpad and that's fine - i quite like it. at home, i use a trackball, which is far, far more enjoyable than a mouse has ever been for me.
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Postby xzqx » Mon Apr 02, 2007 1:35 pm UTC

I always called it a "clit-stick". And yes, I too prefer it over the touch pad -- although maybe I just haven't used a good touch pad lately. (trying to think of a good double-entendre for that, but it's too early...)

I love laptops, they give you so much freedom to surf/work in any position, anywhere. Also, apparently they use 1/2 as much energy as desktops, which makes sense.

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Postby WhiteRabbit » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:24 pm UTC

I find both clitmice and trackpads to be pretty much unuseable, my hands are just too big for them. What I really liked was the mini-trackball that some late 90's Thinkpads had built in. I would pay a $500 premium to get one of those in a MccBook Pro.
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Postby a thing » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:34 pm UTC

(Wikipedia says) it's also called a pointing stick.
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Postby entropomorphic » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:14 pm UTC

I swear by my clit mouse. And it loves me back :D

The killer feature that makes it superior than either regular mice or trackpads (for general use, websurfing, word processing, coding, and certain games) is that you don't need to move your fingers from their standard typing position on the homerow. Also, it wins at certain games because you can move indefinitely far in one direction without "scrubbing" (lifting up the mouse and putting it back on the other side of the mousepad), which is slow and imprecise. Obviously you still need a real mouse to play FPS games and the like.

My fingers never get tired during normal use, even for marathon coding/browsing sessions. Long gaming sessions can be a pain though since you typically have to press harder to move faster. Contrary to popular belief, normal mouse movement requires almost no pressure at all. The only real pain is when it gets moist from sweat or something, and loses its friction.

Oh, and I always call it a "pointing stick" in polite conversation, even though I'm thinking "clit mouse".
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Postby Tractor » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:19 pm UTC

Toeofdoom wrote:And USB mouses are way better than touchpads or Trackpoint tm - Style pointers. (just to be different)


True, I'll take a real mouse any day. If you're still missing the mouse clit, get a real mouse and proposition it. :shock:

heh...mouse porn (I'd try to find some disturbing img to post for that, but I'm at work :P ).
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Postby Placer14 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:20 pm UTC

"Nipple Mouse" is not to be confused with "Titmouse"
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