0570: "New Car"

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joee
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0570: "New Car"

Postby joee » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:03 am UTC

Image

Alt: Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers.

Link: http://xkcd.com/570/

Reminds me of that company that put "email us at [email] and get [amount of money]" in their EULA.

Edit: http://www.pcpitstop.com/spycheck/eula.asp
Last edited by joee on Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:05 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Hi glasnt.

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Comic JK » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:03 am UTC

I remember once, when I was new to the internet, clicking on one of those banners.

That sound you heard was the shattering of my young faith in humanity.
Image
A webcomic funnier than life itself. Updated Monday-Friday.

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TheHand
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:04 am UTC

It's so true...

Sometimes I think a survey should be done where all of these ads and emails are responded to in some controlled way, just to see what comes of it.

EcoReck20
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby EcoReck20 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:05 am UTC

GOD DAMNIT.

I was going to post this, but apparently my account got deactivated. And I saw it the second it got on to the website. :(

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The Abominable Cellist
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby The Abominable Cellist » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:05 am UTC

It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...

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athelas
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby athelas » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:07 am UTC

From a friend's blog:

How would you advertise to the seedy underbelly of societal desires? That’s the type of great question that spammers spend their lives tackling, and so I’ve often wondered what kinds of subject lines these pros go for in their messages. Most of the stuff in my spam folder is fairly predictable: “Paris Hilton pees like men”, “Get a pole the Hulk will be proud of”, “Dinosaur”, but a funny trend I’ve noticed is the rise of material related to politics. Ben Yvqzjtq sends me a friendly reminder that “Politician’s gene found!” and Jania Jlaeno wants me to know that “Sewer manhole destroyed Senator’s car”.

I’ve sometimes wondered why this trend. A late attempt to cash in on the Obama Presidency? The less intelligent and cultured spammers all getting caught?

Personally, if I were a spammer going for a political message, I’d go with “Want to make your dong longer than the Franken-Coleman race?”. But maybe that’s just me.

Zenexer
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Zenexer » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:09 am UTC

As funny as this joke is, it's starting to get old. Anykey released a version of the same joke in a comic a few weeks ago. "Any repost is a repost of a repost." As usual, though, Randall manages to squeeze a laugh out of me with his new approach on old jokes.

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aeris92
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby aeris92 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:09 am UTC

I always see those banners but i think someone's just a bit too fast and gets it before me. next time for sure though

Megaryuu
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Megaryuu » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:09 am UTC

There is going to be an increase in banner clicks now.

spling
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby spling » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:11 am UTC

That has to be the funniest Alt-text in a long while. Great. :)

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TheHand
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:11 am UTC

The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...


Everything has.

And of course, you are right.

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby mightymouse1584 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:13 am UTC

i like that currently every single person in this thread is online. how often does that happen?

Zenexer
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Zenexer » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:13 am UTC

Found the Anykey version: http://anykey.earth2me.com/4

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:15 am UTC

TheHand wrote:
The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...


Everything has.

The last virgin idea was used up in Flatland.
General_Norris: Taking pride in your nation is taking pride in the division of humanity.
Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

sargeras0000
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby sargeras0000 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:23 am UTC

Sometimes, when I feel especially lonely, I click on those ads, just to make the banners feel loved.

It's OK adverts, I'm here for you.

<3

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TheHand
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:25 am UTC

sje46 wrote:
TheHand wrote:
The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...


Everything has.

The last virgin idea was used up in Flatland.


Haha, well you know...

Linkage

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby alitheiapsis » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:29 am UTC

Loved the comic, especially the alt-text. It's mind-boggling to imagine what kind of world this would be if everything in my spam folder were actually legit.

sje46 wrote:The last virgin idea was used up in Flatland.


I was surprised to learn exactly how many books were based on Flatland. It's ridiculous, because some of them have so little original thought...

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The Abominable Cellist
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby The Abominable Cellist » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:29 am UTC

sje46 wrote:
TheHand wrote:
The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...


Everything has.

The last virgin idea was used up in Flatland.

Flatland is absolutely one of the strangest books I have ever read. It was glorious.

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BlueNight
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby BlueNight » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:36 am UTC

sje46 wrote:
TheHand wrote:
The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...

Everything has.

The last virgin idea was used up in Flatland.


... Suddenly I very much want me some Rule 34 re: Flatland. Google is no help.
---------
BlueNight

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TheHand
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:36 am UTC

The Abominable Cellist wrote:Flatland is absolutely one of the strangest books I have ever read. It was glorious.


It was a very awesome read. I read it around the same time as I read Gulliver's Travels, so it was an extra dose of satire.

It was weird though to see the word "lilliputian" used IN flatland. Seeing as that word came from Gulliver's travels which took place in Spaceland, as it were, albeit a fictionalized version of it. How would Square know that word? But of course, the idea that he knows english at all is silly, so we can probably assume it is translated... but of course, such questions aren't really relevant anyway.

Still, it was very odd to see the word.

sgtzeppelin
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby sgtzeppelin » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:47 am UTC

joee wrote:Alt: Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers.

It was flashing and everything!

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Exüberance
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Exüberance » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:00 am UTC

Reminds me of this

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rubber314chicken
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby rubber314chicken » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:05 am UTC

randal wants more money.


Even if I did win I couldn't keep it, because I don't have money to pay for the taxes I'd be taxed for getting a gift.
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ohnoesmilk
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby ohnoesmilk » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:24 am UTC

That took me a moment...

The flashing is what did it for me.

Good 'ol ad block, making me forget those ads.
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<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
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<TheXPhial> lava?

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'; DROP DATABASE;--
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:38 am UTC

LMAO. That made my day.

I always shudder when I see people actually falling for those, or the ones that poorly imitate error messages. The only one I ever almost fell for was a free screen savers popup that looked almost exactly like Windows' actual screen saver settings window. I was just like "why the hell did the screen saver settings open, where's the cancel but--ohhhhh, haha."

It's also much lulz to see two such banners, conflicting, on the same page. Congratulations, you are both the 999,999th and 10,000,000th visitor to this page at the same time! :lol:
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Kailen
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Kailen » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:41 am UTC

Oh noes. Dat wuz mah car! Deh banneh seyd so!
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movingjpegs
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby movingjpegs » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:44 am UTC

In response to the alt-text:
You might say they have found themselves impotent.

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BwaHaHa
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby BwaHaHa » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:47 am UTC

I have recently seen banner ads which, in an effort to seem reputable, add "We're Not Kidding!" to their catchy slogans.
Image
Now there are three of them.
There are three ____.

Istaro
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Istaro » Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:11 am UTC

movingjpegs wrote:In response to the alt-text:
You might say they have found themselves impotent.


Nicely done.

dsutton
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby dsutton » Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:37 am UTC

My brother actually got an xbox360 from a very carefully chosen one of those. he did about $30 in promotional offers and waited around 9 months and called to complain and they tried to change the rules on him, but he save a copy of the rules he agreed to and hassled them about it and they eventually sent him a check for the full retail value :)

also, a very good comic.

distantorigin
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby distantorigin » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:03 am UTC

reminds me of this

someone else check my math... it feels like 1 billion will hit in around 2 years?

muktowngiant68
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby muktowngiant68 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:06 am UTC

great alt text, man while i just stumbled on this site a few weeks ago it has been some of the greatest laughs in a while.

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MadKingSoupII
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby MadKingSoupII » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:22 am UTC

Gotta say, that is one ugly car. Maybe the lucky bajillionth visitor just really didn't want it.

Cefriano
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby Cefriano » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:53 am UTC

The Abominable Cellist wrote:It's good, but I feel like this has been done before...

Yes. Sounds a lot like this one: http://www.qgmindpolice.com/comic/2009/03/17/pop-up/

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:59 am UTC

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03052007
It's a topic that's visited relatively often.
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Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

SciBoy
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby SciBoy » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:31 am UTC

Zenexer wrote:Found the Anykey version: http://anykey.earth2me.com/4

sje46 wrote:http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03052007


In what reality are these comics anything like Randall's? The "Least I Could Do" one is sort of related, the anykey one is a parody of banners and achewood is just showing how stupid it is to click a banner. This comic is about the other side. I mean, if you couldn't use a topic because that topic had been used before, then what would be left? Could you come up with a completely new topic? I don't think so. The trick is to come up with a new way of looking at an old topic.

I liked it, it was a way of looking at the spam that I had missed and that is the sort of thing that Randall excels at. Hat off to you, sir!
Image

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby syko_lozz » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:38 am UTC

I was kinda hoping Randall would have given tribute to the Velociraptor Awareness Day...
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=5 ... 128&ref=mf
maybe on monday
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:41 am UTC

SciBoy wrote:
Zenexer wrote:Found the Anykey version: http://anykey.earth2me.com/4

sje46 wrote:http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03052007


In what reality are these comics anything like Randall's? The "Least I Could Do" one is sort of related, the anykey one is a parody of banners and achewood is just showing how stupid it is to click a banner. This comic is about the other side. I mean, if you couldn't use a topic because that topic had been used before, then what would be left? Could you come up with a completely new topic? I don't think so. The trick is to come up with a new way of looking at an old topic.

I liked it, it was a way of looking at the spam that I had missed and that is the sort of thing that Randall excels at. Hat off to you, sir!

No . . .sorry. The Achewood one is an arc. Continue on to the next strip (actually skip that one, because it's not part of that arc) and keep going until you reach the end. It's about ten strips long, at most.
General_Norris: Taking pride in your nation is taking pride in the division of humanity.
Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

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starabo
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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby starabo » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:49 am UTC

distantorigin wrote:reminds me of this

someone else check my math... it feels like 1 billion will hit in around 2 years?


I make it either 18 days or 140 years (depending on which side of the Atlantic your billion lies ..) A quick eyeball average of 130 in 6s scaled up a bit! I wonder if it will accelerate as the 'bil' gets closer, or has xkcd influenced the count?

Although I cannot really imagine many things worse than spending the time selecting 10k worth of songs on iTunes....

--

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Re: "New Car" Discussion

Postby icewind » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:53 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:I always shudder when I see people actually falling for those, or the ones that poorly imitate error messages. The only one I ever almost fell for was a free screen savers popup that looked almost exactly like Windows' actual screen saver settings window. I was just like "why the hell did the screen saver settings open, where's the cancel but--ohhhhh, haha."

It especially get weird when KDE magically get's windows style popups


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