0595: "Android Girlfriend"

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0595: "Android Girlfriend"

Postby fwlbg » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:00 am UTC

Image
http://xkcd.com/595/

Alt Text: "Programming the sexbots to enjoy sex seemed a sensible move at the time, but we didn't realize the consequences of their developing fetishes."

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Starayo » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:03 am UTC

I'm so conflicted. :|

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Wii Owner 3.14 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:04 am UTC

Eh, funny enough, and a little creepy, but I was expecting something with a little more kick after Monday.

That or I completely missed the point, which is possible but unlikely.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby joeyhndc » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:07 am UTC

I submit my approval of Randall's use of the word (onomatopoea?) 'nom'. That is all. Seriously. Stop reading.


Now you're just creeping me out.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby lulzfish » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:08 am UTC

Let me be the first to say, I was expecting a Google Android OS joke. I had to re-read the first half to understand it.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby glasnt » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:09 am UTC

I'd be more scared if the android started giving blowjobs <_<

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Mr. 14 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:10 am UTC

lulzfish wrote:Let me be the first to say, I was expecting a Google Android OS joke. I had to re-read the first half to understand it.


So was I, but that might be due to the fact that I'm currently shopping for a G2.

Alt-text made the comic for me, otherwise it was a "meh" one today.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby smar » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:12 am UTC

Two sexist comics in a row...what's the deal?

Didn't think Randall would resort to literally objectifying women.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:19 am UTC

Firstly, why the hell does it arc-weld a cherry stem?

Secondly, I'm calling Butlerian Jihad on this. If we don't stop these robots now, they will TAKE OUR WOMENZ AND MENZ in the future. Sexbots are the question, jihad is the answer!
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby ysth » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:19 am UTC

smar wrote:Two sexist comics in a row...what's the deal?
I can't for the life of me figure out how you could call the Hertz comic sexist. Can you expand on that? Guess I'll see if you had anything to say in its thread.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Aradae » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:22 am UTC

There are only two words that can describe this comic.

"Fucking ow!"
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby wizzfizz » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:22 am UTC

There's some "Cherry" innuendo that I'm missing... I just know it.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby axlemn » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:25 am UTC

I don't think the comics were sexist. I may be a guy, but I'm definitely a feminist... Ah, well. Don't respond to this.

I didn't get it. Can someone explain it without being crude? (Although there are very few stupid people who read xkcd, I've met the type IRL)
Ahh... Cherry? But what's that thing in the bottom left of the second panel? And what's arc welding?

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby videogamesizzle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:27 am UTC

i would think arc-welding a cherry stem would be a step up from tying one on the sexy scale.

is that just me?
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Snowdream » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:30 am UTC

Yar, I think the day we come out with an Android that can tie a cherry stem with their tongue; we will have to question if we have regressed, or advanced as a society.

It's one of those things. Like 4chan.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby poxic » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:32 am UTC

To the joke-non-getters: floating around somewhere in popular culture land is the concept of someone tying a knot in a cherry stem with his/her tongue, with the intent of proving some sort of sexual prowess.

Bonus points to anyone who actually knows the source of said concept. I haven't a clue.

Edit: I didn't find either of the last two comics sexist, though this one was maybe slightly juvenile (until the arc-welding thing).
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby tetromino » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:33 am UTC

axlemn wrote:I didn't get it. Can someone explain it without being crude? (Although there are very few stupid people who read xkcd, I've met the type IRL)
Ahh... Cherry? But what's that thing in the bottom left of the second panel? And what's arc welding?

Explanation:

1. In some cultures, tying a cherry stem into a knot using only your tongue is considered sexy, because it serves as an indicator of oral sex skills.

2. Arc welding is welding using electricity.

3. If tying a cherry stem into a knot is sexy, arc welding it in your mouth is (sexy + geeky)2

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Aradae » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:38 am UTC

I don't get why so many of you guys don't get it. Remember that one starburst commercial with the girl putting a wrapped starburst into her mouth and spitting out the wrapper which was folded into a crane. It's supposed to hint at delicacy with the tongue.

The android's tongue trick would only hint at imminent pain.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby scalziand » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:45 am UTC

poxic wrote:To the joke-non-getters: floating around somewhere in popular culture land is the concept of someone tying a knot in a cherry stem with his/her tongue, with the intent of proving some sort of sexual prowess.


Huh. I was going for the 'popped cherry' interpretation.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:46 am UTC

HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
Is anybody else disturbed by this? She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head, and "nomming" his brains!
braaaains.jpg
braaaains.jpg (5.34 KiB) Viewed 25187 times
You can clearly see the partially--ugg-deflated head after she had slurped out his brains from his cranium . . .*shudder*. I guess that Randall has been watching a lot of those late night B movies lately.
Just imagine it. You're bored on a Friday night so you go to a bar with your friends, lookin to get in a fight or get laid. You see a fine lady with a short leather skirt and kinky dirty blonde hair making eyes at you, a real femme fatale. So you start making moves on her, and the way she sussurates in your ear really makes your pants tight, so you go out to your Pontiac and drive out to behind the Market Basket and start mashing lips. Man, you could feel her groove, your bodies are messed together, totally synced, one being. Your hand travels around her body, her delicious curves, and you venture towards her pleasure zone, caressing her legs, her thighs, melting into her, almost there and A FREAKIN ROBOTIC TENTACLE THRUSTS OUT HER PUDENDA! It wraps itself around your abdomen, tightening, squeezing out your breath, crushing your ribs. You struggle to breath, and you have no idea what is going on. You pull away the best you can and throw your head back, but her teeth clamp down on your tongue, ripping it out. You scream in unimaginable pain, but it comes to a halt when you see her eyes glitter, turn to a metallic red diode starring into your very soul. The panic causes you to vomit onto her face, and you can barely muster enough strength to move your arm back, to aim for her face, but before you know it a chainsaw shoots out of her left shoulder and grinds through your elbow, splitting the bone, ripping your muscle, tearing off your limbs.
The vomit on her metallic face appears to have gotten into her machinery, as her face begins sparking, and her face melts off to reveal a metallic, bug-like face, with gnashing electronic teeth, sparking, burning off your eyebrows. A metallic hose, a proboscis, shoots from her forehead, into your occipital lobe, burrowing into your skull. The first thing to go is your vision, not that you can see anything around the blood gushing from your face anyway. You can still hear, however. You still have your audition, however, if only for a fraction of a second. You can hear the vacuum, the pumps, and the gray matter itself being sucked through the tube, resisting against the pressure, forced from its cranial throne, being reduced to mere matter, vampireandroid food.
Your deflated head plops onto the back seat, leaking blood and cerebrospinal fluid, but not a molecule of neuron. The police find your rotting corpse after a city-wide manhunt two days later when a local resident sees a wild dog drop your severed right hand on a yawn two blocks away. They will never solve the mystery.
*shudders*
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby poxic » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:51 am UTC

sje46 wrote:"It was a dark and rainy night" redux

Ew.

Although at first glance I did think the cherry was someone's head, yes.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Drooling Iguana » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:52 am UTC

Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Random832 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:52 am UTC

smar wrote:Two sexist comics in a row...what's the deal?


Considering that the whole point of this comic is _ridiculing_ the idea of "sexbots", i think you just missed the point.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby 3nder » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:53 am UTC

I'm about 82% sure the joke goes like this:
1.Knotting cherry=oral skill
2. Androids are weird so they arc weld instead.
3. So arc welding + fellatio = not that awesome...
4. Write a holy book.
5. ????
6. prophet!

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:53 am UTC

poxic wrote:
sje46 wrote:"It was a dark and rainy night" redux

Ew.

Although at first glance I did think the cherry was someone's head, yes.

A cherry?
Oh.
That makes a lot more sense.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby elnerdo » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:54 am UTC

I hate being "that guy", but....

Isn't this technically a gynoid, not an android?

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby videogamesizzle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:54 am UTC

sje46 wrote:HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
Is anybody else disturbed by this? She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head, and "nomming" his brains!
braaaains.jpg
You can clearly see the partially--ugg-deflated head after she had slurped out his brains from his cranium . . .*shudder*. I guess that Randall has been watching a lot of those late night B movies lately.
Just imagine it. You're bored on a Friday night so you go to a bar with your friends, lookin to get in a fight or get laid. You see a fine lady with a short leather skirt and kinky dirty blonde hair making eyes at you, a real femme fatale. So you start making moves on her, and the way she sussurates in your ear really makes your pants tight, so you go out to your Pontiac and drive out to behind the Market Basket and start mashing lips. Man, you could feel her groove, your bodies are messed together, totally synced, one being. Your hand travels around her body, her delicious curves, and you venture towards her pleasure zone, caressing her legs, her thighs, melting into her, almost there and A FREAKIN ROBOTIC TENTACLE THRUSTS OUT HER PUDENDA! It wraps itself around your abdomen, tightening, squeezing out your breath, crushing your ribs. You struggle to breath, and you have no idea what is going on. You pull away the best you can and throw your head back, but her teeth clamp down on your tongue, ripping it out. You scream in unimaginable pain, but it comes to a halt when you see her eyes glitter, turn to a metallic red diode starring into your very soul. The panic causes you to vomit onto her face, and you can barely muster enough strength to move your arm back, to aim for her face, but before you know it a chainsaw shoots out of her left shoulder and grinds through your elbow, splitting the bone, ripping your muscle, tearing off your limbs.
The vomit on her metallic face appears to have gotten into her machinery, as her face begins sparking, and her face melts off to reveal a metallic, bug-like face, with gnashing electronic teeth, sparking, burning off your eyebrows. A metallic hose, a proboscis, shoots from her forehead, into your occipital lobe, burrowing into your skull. The first thing to go is your vision, not that you can see anything around the blood gushing from your face anyway. You can still hear, however. You still have your audition, however, if only for a fraction of a second. You can hear the vacuum, the pumps, and the gray matter itself being sucked through the tube, resisting against the pressure, forced from its cranial throne, being reduced to mere matter, vampireandroid food.
Your deflated head plops onto the back seat, leaking blood and cerebrospinal fluid, but not a molecule of neuron. The police find your rotting corpse after a city-wide manhunt two days later when a local resident sees a wild dog drop your severed right hand on a yawn two blocks away. They will never solve the mystery.
*shudders*
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.

funny, i thought the exact same thing.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Morningstar » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:55 am UTC

As a student of humanities and the like I think it's amusing that anyone is considering the idea that this is sexist.

Objectification needs the portrayal of a realistic woman in a objectified role.
What we have here is a robot (not human) stick figure (also not actually human) and finally a comic (satire).
We also have said female-robot-stick assuming a perversion of sexuality objectification to the point were men are cringing at the idea of using her. This in fact does the complete opposite of subjugating and objectifying her. She is sexualised, but she is furthermore empowered through her sexualisation.

Of course, I could ALSO go on about the sociological implications of objectifying a robot, but I would like to leave in an hour :)

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby lordofnarf » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:06 am UTC

elnerdo wrote:I hate being "that guy", but....

Isn't this technically a gynoid, not an android?


Technically, yes, but android has become the common gender neutral term for a human like robot, so it's still acceptable usage.

Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


I pretty much just assumed that it was Summer Glau.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Alsadius » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:13 am UTC

I cannot possibly be the only one who instinctively covered his groin upon reading that.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby DSDM » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:19 am UTC

The only thing that sounds worse than getting oral sex from this android girlfriend is getting oral sex from her while having a Prince Albert.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby mr_pathetic » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:22 am UTC

"No thanks, I'd rather make out with my Marylin Monroe bot...." :wink:

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Pi is exactly three » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:26 am UTC

poxic wrote:Bonus points to anyone who actually knows the source of said concept.

Episode 1.07 of Twin Peaks - Audrey's "audition" as a hostess at One Eyed Jacks (unless David Lynch pinched the idea from somewhere else).
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:30 am UTC

Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?

That would be me since I'm not really into schizophrenic girls.

I'm about 82% sure the joke goes like this:
1.Knotting cherry=oral skill
2. Androids are weird so they arc weld instead.
3. So arc welding + fellatio = not that awesome...
4. Write a holy book.
5. ????
6. prophet!

Actually, step six is labeled "Muad'dib!".

And the whole cherry stem thing sounds kind of dumb to me.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby BlueNight » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:37 am UTC

lordofnarf wrote:
elnerdo wrote:I hate being "that guy", but....

Isn't this technically a gynoid, not an android?


Technically, yes, but android has become the common gender neutral term for a human-like robot, so it's still acceptable usage.

Proper neuter term: anthropoid. The term is already in use, so anthroid might work, though it bastardizes the Greek (anthropos, not anthros, means human). Think Data's child Lal, before it decided to become a gynoid.

Of course, this brings up a few less pleasant images, such as anthrax and arthropod (bugs & lobsters).

A robot in the form of an animal would be a therioid. We already have these: the Roomba and those bug-crawly robots.

A robot werewolf would be a lycanthropoid, and a robot furry would be an anthropotherioid or a therioanthropoid. Specifically, there would be theriogynoids, therioandroids, and even therioandrogynoids for those who like "universal adaptors."

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Kisama » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:51 am UTC

aleflamedyud wrote:
I'm about 82% sure the joke goes like this:
1.Knotting cherry=oral skill
2. Androids are weird so they arc weld instead.
3. So arc welding + fellatio = not that awesome...
4. Write a holy book.
5. ????
6. prophet!

Actually, step six is labeled "Muad'dib!".

Technically, wouldn't "Kwisatz Haderach!" be a more suitable substitution for "prophet!"? Thank you for reminding me of some very happy hours of my childhood :-)
sje46 wrote:I guess that Randall has been watching a lot of those late night B movies lately.
Just imagine it. You're bored on a Friday night so you go to a bar with your friends, lookin to get in a fight or get laid. You see a fine lady with a short leather skirt and kinky dirty blonde hair making eyes at you, a real femme fatale. So you start making moves on her, and the way she sussurates in your ear really makes your pants tight, so you go out to your Pontiac and drive out to behind the Market Basket and start mashing lips. Man, you could feel her groove, your bodies are messed together, totally synced, one being. Your hand travels around her body, her delicious curves, and you venture towards her pleasure zone, caressing her legs, her thighs, melting into her, almost there and A FREAKIN ROBOTIC TENTACLE THRUSTS OUT HER PUDENDA! It wraps itself around your abdomen, tightening, squeezing out your breath, crushing your ribs. You struggle to breath, and you have no idea what is going on. You pull away the best you can and throw your head back, but her teeth clamp down on your tongue, ripping it out. You scream in unimaginable pain, but it comes to a halt when you see her eyes glitter, turn to a metallic red diode starring into your very soul. The panic causes you to vomit onto her face, and you can barely muster enough strength to move your arm back, to aim for her face, but before you know it a chainsaw shoots out of her left shoulder and grinds through your elbow, splitting the bone, ripping your muscle, tearing off your limbs.
The vomit on her metallic face appears to have gotten into her machinery, as her face begins sparking, and her face melts off to reveal a metallic, bug-like face, with gnashing electronic teeth, sparking, burning off your eyebrows. A metallic hose, a proboscis, shoots from her forehead, into your occipital lobe, burrowing into your skull. The first thing to go is your vision, not that you can see anything around the blood gushing from your face anyway. You can still hear, however. You still have your audition, however, if only for a fraction of a second. You can hear the vacuum, the pumps, and the gray matter itself being sucked through the tube, resisting against the pressure, forced from its cranial throne, being reduced to mere matter, vampireandroid food.
Your deflated head plops onto the back seat, leaking blood and cerebrospinal fluid, but not a molecule of neuron. The police find your rotting corpse after a city-wide manhunt two days later when a local resident sees a wild dog drop your severed right hand on a yawn two blocks away. They will never solve the mystery.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby MrKrueger » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:19 am UTC

I'm pretty sure this is one of those rare situations where an unequivocal "no" is the correct response to "remove your pants".

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby SummerGlauFan » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:20 am UTC

Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


Actually, and in spite of what would seem to have been the likely choice (points to avatar), I had the voice of Fry's robot girlfriend from Futurama.
glasnt wrote:"As she raised her rifle against the creature, her hair fluttered beneath the red florescent lighting of the locked down building.

I knew from that moment that she was something special"


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In stores now.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby tetromino » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:27 am UTC

SummerGlauFan wrote:
Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


Actually, and in spite of what would seem to have been the likely choice (points to avatar), I had the voice of Fry's robot girlfriend from Futurama.

You people assign voices to characters in a comic? As in, you actually hear, in your head, the sound of the characters' words being pronounced, instead of simply perceiving them abstractly?

This is completely bizarre.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby SummerGlauFan » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:31 am UTC

tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:
Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


Actually, and in spite of what would seem to have been the likely choice (points to avatar), I had the voice of Fry's robot girlfriend from Futurama.

You people assign voices to characters in a comic? As in, you actually hear, in your head, the sound of the characters' words being pronounced, instead of simply perceiving them abstractly?

This is completely bizarre.


You sound like my old highschool chemistry teacher. Literally. :)

Seriously, when you read a book or something, you don't assign voices and whatnot to your characters?

Oh, and of course I perceive the words. I wouldn't be able to assign a voice if not :D
glasnt wrote:"As she raised her rifle against the creature, her hair fluttered beneath the red florescent lighting of the locked down building.

I knew from that moment that she was something special"


Outbreak, a tale of love and zombies.

In stores now.


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