0641: "Free"

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xorsyst
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby xorsyst » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:11 am UTC

littlelj wrote:In our supermarket there are about ninety different sorts of fruit squash (cordial). Only five are not "low-sugar" or "no added sugar". Of those three, only two have no artificial sweeteners. Most parents I know genuinely think the "no added sugar" varieties are a million times better for their children than the sugar versions.

Seriously, I can't imagine a diet where the 15 kcal difference between a glass of sugar-only squash and a glass of sweetener-only squash matters. That's like weighing your lentils in micrograms. And if you'd rather put chemicals* in your child than natural** sugar then ... gah.


The amounts of chemicals in a glass of squash are really quite small. The sugar levels are sufficiently high to have a noticeable effect on behaviour, increase risk of tooth decay, and be significant if diabetic. Calorific value is quite unimportant.

Obviously, teaching them to like water is better...

RandAlThor
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby RandAlThor » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:20 am UTC

Bravo, Randall. I can redraw SMBC comics, too...

Technical Ben
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Technical Ben » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:36 am UTC

Love you Randall!!! It's so true. I do this for every advert anywhere. As a reverse to what's already been said: The best thing ever is when they say "now contains n" where n is something it should have contained in the first place!
So "strawberry jam, now with strawberries!" makes me want to hurt someone. I have also seen adverts like "our new phone now has apps" where they are trying to copy the iphone. They then go on to list the web browser, and nothing else. That is not an app!
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ticktricktrack
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby ticktricktrack » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:46 am UTC

Here's something I found in a supermarket in Hong Kong.
Glad they didn't add any lead. Which left me thinking, how much lead do duck eggs usually contain?

Tick

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Last edited by ticktricktrack on Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:49 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

jonas
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby jonas » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:47 am UTC

Iodized salt currently costs about one and a half times as much as normal salt in shops. I predict that in the next years its price will go down so eventually iodized salt will cost the same as normal, then non-iodized salt will be less and less available, then when there are almost all salt on the supermarket shelves will be iodized then the "iodized" label will be written in smaller and smaller and eventually omitted, then for at least five years everyone will only put iodized salt on their food, and eventually in about 2020 supermarkets can start to sell the brand new "iodine-free" salt which at first has a very high price but a few years later it will only cost twice the price of normal salt.

Technical Ben
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Technical Ben » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:50 am UTC

That is apparently a good advert there, not a bad one. The preserving method for the eggs is an old tradition and varies a lot. So you can get the preserve with clay, or the one with ash, or the one with vinegar etc. Still, I'd prefer my eggs fresh!
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slashme
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby slashme » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:51 am UTC

We have bottles of stuff that say "dilute 1 part concentrate with 4 parts water" and then claim to be "50% fruit juice after dilution" when it's obvious that they're 80% tap water after dilution. The question that springs to mind is what % fruit juice they were before dilution.

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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Arancaytar » Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:54 am UTC

I can't believe I'm the only one who read that as "Asbestos - FREE!" and thought "why would I want asbestos in it, even if it doesn't cost extra?" :P

I seriously didn't get the real meaning before reading the tooltip.
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tahrey
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby tahrey » Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:02 am UTC

Technical Ben wrote:I have also seen adverts like "our new phone now has apps" where they are trying to copy the iphone. They then go on to list the web browser, and nothing else. That is not an app!


Weirdly enough, I've been doing exactly the same thing with iPhone ads for the last couple of years.

"Now with video!" (or cut'n'paste, or... etc) .... shit, man, that's like, SO advanced. C'mere. Let me dig my old Sony k310i (that I was given as a free hand-me-down some years ago) out of the back of that dusty cupboard and show you what it can do. You'll have a freakin' heart attack.
The next one apparently will be showing off that it can now handle eAAC and eAAC+ files. Like my old Sony and new Nokia can do, almost as an afterthought.

Still can't handle Flash or Java, though. Which led to an amusing incident with a friend showing off his iPhone recently... "yours doesn't even have A FACEBOOK APP! or a YOUTUBE APP!". Me: Opens normal web browser on non-"i"-phone. Navigates to www.youtube.com. Plays video direct from page. Navigates to www.facebook.com. Updates status. Closes browser.

The iPhone, it seems, now comes with free crutches. Mine just has unbroken ankles.


BTW, on the subject of SMBC/xkcd convergence, the mouseover bonus pic (red vote button below main strip) for http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1646#comic is interesting... Note however that SMBC is an acronym and xkcd is - allegedly - just made up letters.

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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby dennisw » Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:25 am UTC

Cyanide is natural. It's even organic.*

* Loosely speaking
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Schmorgluck
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Schmorgluck » Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:38 am UTC

Kinda reminds me of when I sold confetti on a carnival, and marketed them as "throwaway confetti". Of course, my purpose was merely to amuse potential customers.
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SunDawg
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby SunDawg » Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:54 am UTC

What gets to me is trans fat. EVERYTHING has "no trans fat!" Does trans fat even exist? What is it?

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markfiend
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby markfiend » Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:57 am UTC

Related: There was a recent case of a fertiliser being advertised in the UK as "100% chemical free" -- someone complained to the advertising standards authority.

And lost.

WTF is the stuff made from then? Phlogiston?
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Horwood Beer-Master
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Horwood Beer-Master » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:00 pm UTC

It had long ago occurred to me that 'full-fat milk' could in fact be described as "96% fat free!"
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Mr. Burke
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Mr. Burke » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:12 pm UTC

Am I the only one who is reminded of the Teacher-condom comic?

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Amnesiasoft
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Amnesiasoft » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:29 pm UTC

Steve the Pocket wrote:I remember a TV episode, or comic strip arc, or something with a story to it, where a kid sets up a lemonade stand or something, and another kid who hates them sets up their own and advertises that it "DOESN'T have ______" (something dangerous). Naturally everybody at the other stand reacts with shock and heads to their stand. It might have been The Simpsons, come to think of it.

The only thing that comes to mind is The Boondocks. But it wasn't another kid setting up a lemonade stand, but the guy who owned her stand beginning to sell "Cruelty Free" Lemonade after the protesters arrived at her stand.

Sagard
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Sagard » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:30 pm UTC

What, do the grammarians have a bedtime? I can't believe I'm the first one to say this.

It should be "whichever" rather than "whatever," as there is a finite (though expansive) list of marketers. It sort of runs the same way you would refer to colors.

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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Heisenberg » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:38 pm UTC

SunDawg wrote:What gets to me is trans fat. EVERYTHING has "no trans fat!" Does trans fat even exist? What is it?
Trans fat is a nasty substance that used to be introduced into vegetable oil when hydrogenated into margarine.

Now margarine advertises itself as "no trans fat" because it sounds better than "now far less likely to kill you." Unfortunately, this marketing is still more effective than its competitor, which just says "Butter."

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Schmorgluck
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Schmorgluck » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:39 pm UTC

Mr. Burke wrote:Am I the only one who is reminded of the Teacher-condom comic?

It crossed my mind as well. I don't know how to formulate what they have in common, but there's... something.
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littlebuddy
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby littlebuddy » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:43 pm UTC

This is exactly why I don't eat cereal. Who the heck do they think they're fooling? Not me...

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Agent Foxtrot
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Agent Foxtrot » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:51 pm UTC

Can someone please explain the F5 thing to me? Refreshing doesn't change the page, unless you guys are sitting at the previous coming and keep hitting F5 to see if the new one is up.

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Mr. Burke
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Mr. Burke » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

Schmorgluck wrote:
Mr. Burke wrote:Am I the only one who is reminded of the Teacher-condom comic?

It crossed my mind as well. I don't know how to formulate what they have in common, but there's... something.

We are protecting against/don't include something that wasn't a threat/shouldn't have been in there in the first place?

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littlelj
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby littlelj » Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:27 pm UTC

xorsyst wrote:
littlelj wrote:In our supermarket there are about ninety different sorts of fruit squash (cordial). Only five are not "low-sugar" or "no added sugar". Of those three, only two have no artificial sweeteners. Most parents I know genuinely think the "no added sugar" varieties are a million times better for their children than the sugar versions.

Seriously, I can't imagine a diet where the 15 kcal difference between a glass of sugar-only squash and a glass of sweetener-only squash matters. That's like weighing your lentils in micrograms. And if you'd rather put chemicals* in your child than natural** sugar then ... gah.


The amounts of chemicals in a glass of squash are really quite small. [...] Calorific value is quite unimportant.


I was not clear. When adults choose no-added-sugar squash for themselves because they are on a diet, they are deluded.

The sugar levels are sufficiently high to have a noticeable effect on behaviour, increase risk of tooth decay, and be significant if diabetic.


Diabetics are quite another matter. And artificial colours and sweeteners can have a noticeable effect on behaviour too. All fruit squashes are acidic, so the tooth decay thing is possibly misleading.

Also, you are teaching them to like the taste of chemical sweeteners. Not desirable.

Obviously, teaching them to like water is better...

Agreed, but easier said than done! My toddler drinks water quite happily, until he sees that someone else is drinking something else, then he wants that. Beer, wine, sour milk, whatever. It's better because it's someone else's.
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GreyingJay
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby GreyingJay » Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:45 pm UTC

ticktricktrack wrote:Here's something I found in a supermarket in Hong Kong.
Glad they didn't add any lead. Which left me thinking, how much lead do duck eggs usually contain?


This one is legitimate. Preserved duck eggs, also known as "century egg" or "thousand year old egg" (don't worry, it's not really that old) is a delicacy in Asian culture -- try some chopped up and mixed with sesame oil and rice vinegar, mixed in with congee -- mmmm, delicious. (If you can get past the appearance of the egg.)

Anyway, the preserving process is quite interesting, and takes a fair bit of time. An unscrupulous producer can add lead oxide to the mix which makes the process faster but results in tainted food. With all the backlash about unsafe products from China, it's probably not a bad idea to advertise that you're actually using safe practices. (Unless, of course, they only put the words on the label, and they're lying about not using lead... oh, best just not buy this stuff from China, period.)

cjbnc
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby cjbnc » Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:57 pm UTC

I'm waiting for the day when the sleazy lawyers from "GenCo" and "Stay-Puff" cereals sue the sleazy marketeers from "RedFarm" for libelously implying that their cereals contain asbestos. Should be fun to watch, even if you can't decide which side to root for.

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neoliminal
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby neoliminal » Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:18 pm UTC

In our frig at work were three cartons of half and half:

Half and Half
Original (what?)
Low-Fat
No-Fat

Wait,.... No FAT? Isn't that... like... Milk or 2% or something. How can you call something Half and Half with NO FAT?
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DHeadshot
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby DHeadshot » Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:29 pm UTC

I realised that this had gotten bad when I saw a TV advert use the phrase "Ammonia free". The advert was for one of those ridiculous makeup products that are inexplicably advertised on Dave (yeah, show makeup ads on a channel exclusively watched by men, great idea) so there is no possible reason it would ever include ammonia. The worrying thing of course is that they've only just started puttng it on the ads, giving the impression that they've used ammonia for years wthout telling anyone...

... Maybe I should just stop watching the ad breaks...

burbs42
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby burbs42 » Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:41 pm UTC

Howard Moskowitz is the man to blame.

If you've got some time, you can sit back and watch a moderately entertaining presentation by Malcom Gladwell. http://www.ted.com/talks/malcolm_gladwell_on_spaghetti_sauce.html

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javahead
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby javahead » Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:46 pm UTC

VHBT wrote:
nahtanoj999 wrote:Beaten by Zack Weiner: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db ... =974#comic

True, but I laughed at Randall's version. The SMBC one is less funny, somehow.

Indeed, for some reason, this works much better!

Thank you for starting off my Friday on this pace.

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StClair
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby StClair » Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:55 pm UTC

"RAPTOR-FREE!"

*eyes all the other products on the shelf warily, backing away...*

fabiocbinbutter
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby fabiocbinbutter » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:17 pm UTC

Heisenberg wrote:
SunDawg wrote:What gets to me is trans fat. EVERYTHING has "no trans fat!" Does trans fat even exist? What is it?
Trans fat is a nasty substance that used to be introduced into vegetable oil when hydrogenated into margarine.

Now margarine advertises itself as "no trans fat" because it sounds better than "now far less likely to kill you." Unfortunately, this marketing is still more effective than its competitor, which just says "Butter."


As someone who doesn't eat trans fat, I particularly hate the "0g trans fat" branding. You see, in the US, government regulations allow you to state 0g of trans fat in your nutritional information if the product contains less that 0.5g of trans fat per serving. Of course, products like Crisco or Pam, which are upwards of 50% by mass trans fat still claim 0grams of trans fat, because they define their serving size as "one spray" or less than a gram...

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there is no zero
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby there is no zero » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:18 pm UTC

WK1 wrote:Marketers, now shame free!

I hate it when they advertise basic math. 12-pack! 50% more than an 8-pack! 33% more cereal than a box of cereal that has about 33% less cereal!


That would be 33% more cereal than a box of cereal that has 25% less cereal, actually.

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mojotoad
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Rice Krispies with Immunity

Postby mojotoad » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:36 pm UTC

This reminds of my recent shock when I saw a box of Rice Krispies on the shelf with the phrase "with IMMUNITY" emblazoned up on it.

Immunity? What sort:

1) diplomatic immunity?
2) immunity from persuasion?
3) loaded up with dubious antibiotics?
4) immunity from advertisements?

As it turns out, they're apparently allowed to say this if they...add vitamins. Since vitamins seem to have some correlation with a robust immune system, Rice Krispies with vitamins is sold 'with IMMUNITY'.

I'm pretty sure it's the result of a typo, they meant to type P instead of that second M.

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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby DeltaBlast » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:11 pm UTC

Aw, first read through I thought it was referring to grabbing up fictional brand names, which would actually be kind of cool if marketers started doing that.

I know GenCo is from Repo! the Genetic Opera, and Stay Puft is from ghostbusters, but I'm not sure what RedFarm is from...


Had the same problem here, because the asbestos free just wasn't that funny... so I was looking real hard into the brand names but didn't get it. Guess it just wasn't that funny :p

Ology
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Ology » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:18 pm UTC

I was in Vietnam and went to buy some soup and they had "Vegetarian Beef Stew". I couldn't decide if it was just great translations or great advertising, but still made me laugh.

Technical Ben
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Technical Ben » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:30 pm UTC

fabiocbinbutter wrote:As someone who doesn't eat trans fat, I particularly hate the "0g trans fat" branding. You see, in the US, government regulations allow you to state 0g of trans fat in your nutritional information if the product contains less that 0.5g of trans fat per serving. Of course, products like Crisco or Pam, which are upwards of 50% by mass trans fat still claim 0grams of trans fat, because they define their serving size as "one spray" or less than a gram...


Move to the uk, we don't lie* here! Food has to state package/portion percentage and grams as well as per 100 grams or kilogram or some other reasonable amount. You will not get anyone claiming per crisp fat content, just the whole packet or one portion if it's a large packet. I cannot believe they can get away with that in the US. I could advertise anything as "lead and cyanide free!" then?



Under 2% lies as regulated by the UK law, may contain nuts!
Last edited by Technical Ben on Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:41 pm UTC, edited 4 times in total.
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Hulyen
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Hulyen » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:33 pm UTC

I'm reminded of Arrested Development, but can't remember the exact quote. :(

It's the one where Gob opens his own banana stand. Something along the lines of "The Banana Stand that WON'T beat you up and take your money!"

kensey
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby kensey » Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:22 pm UTC

Seriously? Nobody but me remembers "guaranteed not to turn pink in the can" from history class?

Geekoid
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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby Geekoid » Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:25 pm UTC

aquilo wrote:
thezachperson31 wrote:
It's H1N1, not swine flu! :x



No, it is swine flu. The term "H1N1" refers to a broad family of flus, so it is not specific enough. If you're really keen to avoid a connection to pigs or Mexico, you'll have to say something like "the strain of H1N1 that started in 2009 that is most notable in the media".



Actually refer to it as "2009 H1N1"

http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/qa.htm

AKA H1Nerd1 ~

Of course igf you say Swine Flu, the common person understands what it is. The specific designation is really only needed for people in an area where that level of accuracy can be critical.

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Re: "Free" Discussion

Postby artwolf » Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:46 pm UTC

It was some years back, during the craze to get everyone on the internet. I'll never forget when I saw the UPS (ie battery backup) in the store, with the box clearly labelled, "Internet Ready." Unbelievable. It didn't mention that it was 100% hobo skin free, or whatever else, but again, anything to convince an uneducated public that your product is best.


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