0642: "Creepy"

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Kain
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Kain » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:11 am UTC

To give an example of a situation almost exactly opposite that in the comic: back in high school, one of the teachers mentioned that there is a particular way in which women (and men so inclined) can be sure they are getting enough zinc in their diet. Yes, it was a rather mature way... anyways, some of the students got together and designed a shirt saying Got Zinc in the style of a got milk shirt, only green and orange, for us to all wear during our IB chem exams... anyways, I decided to one-up it by writing in big letters the words "Want Some?" on a peice of paper, and taping it to my shirt the first day we all wore them, right under the Got Zinc... at first I just got some odd looks, but as what the shirt meant went around, I got quite a few incredulous stares (I am extremely introverted, and probably the last person anyone would expect to make a sexual joke).

So yeah, looking back, that was rather creepy of me. But oh so very hilareous.
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myoxisbroken
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby myoxisbroken » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:50 am UTC

Why do I even bother?
howlingfrog wrote:
myoxisbroken wrote:It's exactly this kind of thinking, fairly or unfairly, that makes me initially creeped out by most nerd-men who do talk to me. I have to assume that most of you are only out to get in my pants.

Subconsciously, you're using the exact same risk-benefit-analysis thought process you claim not to understand: you're being cautious, quite reasonably, because of the risk that what he wants and what you want will be different.


Way to miss my point.
myoxisbroken wrote:fairly or unfairly

I recognize that I am unjustified in thinking this way, of initially assigning the people who talk to me into categories based on little to no evidence. I recognize that because of my past experiences, I am inclined to think that nerdy guys are only out to get with girls so they can have some form of validation, sexual or otherwise, for their petty insecurities. I do, however, consciously attempt to get over any initial revulsion I feel, because I realize that my own issues and biases shouldn't get in the way of meeting potential new friends or mates. If, after talking to said person for a bit, I discover my initial impressions are correct, I politely taper off contact. If instead I discover that my initial impressions were off and said person is not creepy, I've made a new friend. See, it's not that goddamn difficult to get over one's own insecurities for personal benefit and growth.

It seems that here, however, none of the people who are "Get out of my head, Randall!"-ing over this recognize the problems with their self-indulgent, masturbatory worldviews. They see the world, and possibly women in general, as being against them in some vast conspiracy, and blame everyone else, except themselves, for their problems. This is really what bothers me. Self-awareness, people. Have it.

The problem is that human relationships in general are complicated, weird, and messy. They're not subject to rational or empirical laws. People are different. They have their own weird quirks. Attempting to make sense of people by categorizing them (be it by gender, race, appearance, however) generally just makes things more complicated. Attempting to use people for your own benefit (especially to validate your own self-worth) destroys relationships and makes you at worst, a despicable beast, and at best, a pathetic, limp noodle of a human being. As soon as you realize, hey, it's not about men or women, but individuals—the happier you'll be.

howlingfrog wrote:
myoxisbroken wrote:Edit: Before I get accused of misandry: the girl in this comic is just as bad, if not worse, than the guy. Because she's bitching about her nonexistent problems to the world instead of keeping her self-pitying delusions in her head.

Complaining about men in general, based on a blatantly non-representative sample, as your main topic, while complaining about one woman in particular, based on her actual actions, as an afterthought, is still misandry.

Once again, reading into something that isn't there. Where did I complain about men in general? I'm pretty sure I was complaining about nerdy man-boys who are permanently mentally trapped in high school and despite generally being white, first world-born, heterosexual, upper-to-middle class, and privileged overall, complain about their nonexistent problems which only exist because of a painful lack of self-awareness and a lazy attitude toward personal growth. Not men in general. Men in general are pretty swell, because most of them aren't in the aforementioned group of people. Just like women in general, or people in general.

Though I will add, it is a typical tactic of the people I am complaining about to attribute their personal failures to imagined conspiracies—like widespread misandry.

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Nomic
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Nomic » Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:18 am UTC

Seriously, do get out of my head, Randall. That is pretty much what goes on in my head whenever I try to talk to a person. Exept instead of accusing me of hitting on them, they get angry for me talking to them when I clearly have no right to do so. Now, my fears are probably not based on reality, but aknowleging that doesn't really help when you're chronically shy and painfully aware that most people find your mere presence to be intensily creepy.

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Rouse
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Rouse » Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:39 am UTC

I read The Game. I preferred Leil Loundes' books, also mentioned above.

For me, the tragedy of The Game - why it's not a real solution, but also why it's worth reading - is that the author...
Spoiler:
...became addicted to his success in collecting girls' phone numbers to the extent that the next step, i.e., making the conversion from a phone number to a date, relationship, sex, friendship, or whatever, became irrelevant. A remarkably small number of pants were got-into in the writing of that book.

An endless series of two-minute encounters, screaming at each other over loud music in clubs? No thanks.


Fair enough, I can understand what you're saying. For me The Game was merely a gateway to pick-up, I did a lot more reading and research and the things taught have given me alot more confidence. I don't use 'game' in terms of being a pick-up artist or to get laid, but just with my everyday social interactions. So if I see that cute girl sitting down on the train, I'm not afraid to go up and engage her.

I believe the concept gives people like me and the xkcd demographic just that little shove to get us out there. I know all of you here are pretty awesome people with great personalities but it can be hard to convey that to those girls out there.
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LTK
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby LTK » Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:37 am UTC

This comic saddens me.

Singspike
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Singspike » Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:02 am UTC

Scorpio3002 wrote:I'd like to address all the lonely guys and girls out there: fuck your low self-esteem, fuck your fear of rejection, fuck your preconceptions of gender roles; if you have feelings for somebody, it is your responsibility to be forward with those feelings.


I registered to say this:

I've been waffling about asking a certain girl out all week, and it was this post that pushed me over the edge.
Guess who has a date?

Thanks, xkcd forums >_>
Last edited by Singspike on Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:27 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

jadehasAspade
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby jadehasAspade » Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:15 am UTC

ive read xkcd from its beginnings, however only with this comic did i decide to register. i miss the old-cute-love-comics like this one.

this makes me feel guilty for turning down a guy on the train once... :?

Xentropy
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Xentropy » Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:02 pm UTC

tech42er wrote:
Andromeda321 wrote:Speaking as a girl who has a cute netbook for about a year now, I'm sort of in love with this comic. Slight tweaks on this happen all the time, my favorite being last week at a coffeeshop-
<snip for space>


I know this is tangential to your point, I can see why your potential beau would think that using pounds makes it sound lighter since the same object will weigh less pounds than kilograms. Of course, it's totally subjective what "sounds lighter" but I understand where he was coming from. Also, I'll make sure to talk to you if I ever see you with your netbook ;)


A definite facepalm moment here.

Um. No. That *was* her whole point. It's the other way around. ~2.2 pounds = 1 kilogram. So a given object will weigh less kilograms than pounds. That's why she corrected him in the first place. Looks like you wouldn't be getting lucky either. ;)

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podbaydoor
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:30 pm UTC

The result is that most (not all but most) hitting-on-strange-women is done by neanderthals. You're falsely assuming that the men who have hit on you are representative of men in general, when the trait you're looking at is precisely the one that skews the proportions.


No, actually, most nerdboys who have talked to me have wanted to get in my pants. Most Asian, DDR-playing females not afraid of video games or nerdy topics get this experience. This is especially true during freshman year of college when a bunch of nerdguys are encountering really nerdy girls for the first time. Thank god those years are behind me.

Also, everything myoxisbroken has said.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

Elusieum
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Elusieum » Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:42 pm UTC

My response to the comic: Aww...

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Elusieum » Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:43 pm UTC

Singspike wrote:
Scorpio3002 wrote:I'd like to address all the lonely guys and girls out there: fuck your low self-esteem, fuck your fear of rejection, fuck your preconceptions of gender roles; if you have feelings for somebody, it is your responsibility to be forward with those feelings.


I registered to say this:

I've been waffling about asking a certain girl out all week, and it was this post that pushed me over the edge.
Guess who has a date?

Thanks, xkcd forums >_>



Woo! Congrats. =P

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby RJFerret » Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:54 pm UTC

Creepy inwardly = confident outwardly

Not acting reinforces shyness. Discovering that "bad" results are insignificant and make you feel better while "good" results are wonderful and make you feel great will resolve shyness quickly.

That being said, like anything, practice first. Talk to EVERY person with the SOLE goal of seeing a smile.

Finally, as a male, I agree with what Myoxisbroken has said, who hopefully won't get frustrated with the responses, she is being nurturing, while some respondents are being combative when they feel challenged. As much as she'll hate me categorizing this ;), typical estrogen vs. testosterone...

-Randy

PS: SIngspike, awesome! Glad you acted...

fealuinix
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby fealuinix » Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:08 pm UTC

sithwalrus wrote:i would like to suggest that from now on all males and females walk around with prominent signs displaying a list of everyone they have a crush on.
think how much simpler it would all be, and if you didn't want to be on someones list you could be permanently removed, but at least you would know.
the downside would be that tales of unrequited love would be a lot harder to justify in fiction, so it might take a bit of drama out of the world.
w00t.


http://xkcd.com/592/

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DieJay
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby DieJay » Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:35 pm UTC

myoxisbroken wrote:It seems that here, however, none of the people who are "Get out of my head, Randall!"-ing over this recognize the problems with their self-indulgent, masturbatory worldviews. They see the world, and possibly women in general, as being against them in some vast conspiracy, and blame everyone else, except themselves, for their problems. This is really what bothers me. Self-awareness, people. Have it.


I don't know about you guys, but the only thing harder to get out of my head than Randall is anxiety, and even if I know that I probably won't be turned down by a person with which I just wanted to engage in purely innocent social interactions, I might still freeze on the though of getting my ass handed to me.

I might have to check out the many tricks posted in this thread. Thank god for xkcd...
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psypete
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby psypete » Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:41 pm UTC

Random people never talked to me as much as when i'd whip out my 10".

"Wow, that's cute! What is it/is it an apple?"
"Thanks. It's an EeePc."
"A what?"
"It's... it's a small laptop."

It's also a pretty good way to feign ignorance and start a conversation. Ask them what kind of laptop that is and where you can get it, if it's fast enough, etc. This is one of the few times i'll actually have the confidence to talk to a cute girl since it's a common interest of which I have abundant knowledge. If said cute girl was just reading a book, i'd probably sit there.

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aquilo
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby aquilo » Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:55 pm UTC

myoxisbroken wrote:I don't understand this lIt's exactly this kind of thinking, fairly or unfairly, that makes me initially creeped out by most nerd-men who do talk to me. I have to assume that most of you are only out to get in my pants. Because so goddamn many of you believe, for whatever reason, that interacting with women is like solving a Rubik's cube that turns into a Fleshlight when you win.


We aren't that shallow. It's more like a Rubik's cube that turns into companionship when you win. The Fleshlight part is a side effect that is probably more trouble than it's worth.

ishkabibble
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby ishkabibble » Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:06 pm UTC

When I first read this comic, I braced myself for a deluge of gender blaming angst. I have been quite pleasantly surprised by the general "people are people" attitude among the posters. (Hurrah, myoxisbroken!) The world may have some serious problems, but this thread is making me feel a little better about humanity. And way to go, Singspike: it's like the room is exploding in rainbows and unicorns. I want to plant a tree or something.

FWIW: I had a friend in college who took the Babe Ruth approach to women: he asked out EVERYONE. He got rejected a LOT. He also had the most active social life of anyone I knew, both in terms of friendships and romantic relationships.

And at the risk of incurring angst, I do wanna make one response...

rancidtuna wrote:Ugh...feminists. They put a bad taste in my mouth. That is, if they'd let me put my mouth in/on/all over them.


This represents a common misconception about feminists: angry, "don't touch me" women. Overall, feminists LIKE sex (with men, even!) We just tend to prefer it with people who don't make demeaning jokes about feminists.

afternine
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby afternine » Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:07 pm UTC

Perhaps the only thing more disappointing than the group who uses this comic to justify or supplement their inabilities in the relationship department are the people who condemn that group as human failures.

The implicit notion that finding a lifelong partner in a loving relationship is actually worth the time and effort it takes is a wildly rampant view in both of those groups; the lonely nerds are so obsessed with finding love that they are afraid of not finding it -of being rejected - and the anti-loners are so obsessed with finding love that they cannot fathom why anybody would not take whatever action is necessary to satisfy their longing.

Frankly, this relationship-focused culture is pathetic and boring.

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby psypete » Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:34 pm UTC

myoxisbroken wrote:Why do I even bother?
howlingfrog wrote:
myoxisbroken wrote:It's exactly this kind of thinking, fairly or unfairly, that makes me initially creeped out by most nerd-men who do talk to me. I have to assume that most of you are only out to get in my pants.

Subconsciously, you're using the exact same risk-benefit-analysis thought process you claim not to understand: you're being cautious, quite reasonably, because of the risk that what he wants and what you want will be different.


Way to miss my point.
myoxisbroken wrote:fairly or unfairly

I recognize that I am unjustified in thinking this way, of initially assigning the people who talk to me into categories based on little to no evidence. I recognize that because of my past experiences, I am inclined to think that nerdy guys are only out to get with girls so they can have some form of validation, sexual or otherwise, for their petty insecurities. I do, however, consciously attempt to get over any initial revulsion I feel, because I realize that my own issues and biases shouldn't get in the way of meeting potential new friends or mates. If, after talking to said person for a bit, I discover my initial impressions are correct, I politely taper off contact. If instead I discover that my initial impressions were off and said person is not creepy, I've made a new friend. See, it's not that goddamn difficult to get over one's own insecurities for personal benefit and growth.

It seems that here, however, none of the people who are "Get out of my head, Randall!"-ing over this recognize the problems with their self-indulgent, masturbatory worldviews. They see the world, and possibly women in general, as being against them in some vast conspiracy, and blame everyone else, except themselves, for their problems. This is really what bothers me. Self-awareness, people. Have it.

The problem is that human relationships in general are complicated, weird, and messy. They're not subject to rational or empirical laws. People are different. They have their own weird quirks. Attempting to make sense of people by categorizing them (be it by gender, race, appearance, however) generally just makes things more complicated. Attempting to use people for your own benefit (especially to validate your own self-worth) destroys relationships and makes you at worst, a despicable beast, and at best, a pathetic, limp noodle of a human being. As soon as you realize, hey, it's not about men or women, but individuals—the happier you'll be.

howlingfrog wrote:
myoxisbroken wrote:Edit: Before I get accused of misandry: the girl in this comic is just as bad, if not worse, than the guy. Because she's bitching about her nonexistent problems to the world instead of keeping her self-pitying delusions in her head.

Complaining about men in general, based on a blatantly non-representative sample, as your main topic, while complaining about one woman in particular, based on her actual actions, as an afterthought, is still misandry.

Once again, reading into something that isn't there. Where did I complain about men in general? I'm pretty sure I was complaining about nerdy man-boys who are permanently mentally trapped in high school and despite generally being white, first world-born, heterosexual, upper-to-middle class, and privileged overall, complain about their nonexistent problems which only exist because of a painful lack of self-awareness and a lazy attitude toward personal growth. Not men in general. Men in general are pretty swell, because most of them aren't in the aforementioned group of people. Just like women in general, or people in general.

Though I will add, it is a typical tactic of the people I am complaining about to attribute their personal failures to imagined conspiracies—like widespread misandry.


myoxisbroken wrote:I'm pretty sure I was complaining about nerdy man-boys who are permanently mentally trapped in high school and despite generally being white, first world-born, heterosexual, upper-to-middle class, and privileged overall, complain about their nonexistent problems which only exist because of a painful lack of self-awareness and a lazy attitude toward personal growth. Not men in general. Men in general are pretty swell, because most of them aren't in the aforementioned group of people. Just like women in general, or people in general.


Point 1. Men in general (excluding those who do not have sexual interest in the female species) just want to get in your pants. The only ones that don't, you simply aren't their type. Many, many, many studies prove this time and time again. Men just want to have sex with random women all the time. If you "discover that [your] initial impressions were off", you got fooled. That isn't to say that all men ever want is *only* sex - they want sex, to be sure. But (some? I don't know how many) are willing to forego the sex for friendship or something else because friendship may be more valuable (or they're already getting nookie somewhere else).

Point 2. Most women need to understand point 1 as a fact and keep it in mind at all times. If you even think of beginning a romantic or non-romantic friendship, relationship, etc with a male without at least being aware of that point, you're at risk of being taken advantage of.

Point 3. Without going into the circumstances of a given society or generation and how men are raised in different environments, most men are different. You can make up a genre such as the above to apply to (for the sake of an example) geeky/nerdy xkcd fans. It's utterly meaningless. Given a large sample of the aforementioned group of men, most will behave differently depending on the situation that is presented to them, as i'm sure you know from having stated as much earlier.

Point 4. As a person who suffers from what I consider to be an emotional disorder which makes it difficult for me to communicate with strangers, and without the help of medication, I must protest the way you paint a picture of people like myself (of which i'm sure there are lots on these boards) and how we behave or think. You can place blame however you want and you can make us out to be villainous as much as you like. We have issues. I don't think that makes us bad people. It's not justifiable or defensible to claim we lack self-awareness or don't attempt self-growth and that all our troubles are our own faults. That's like saying someone who has severe OCD is at fault for their personal defects. Yes, we cannot blame anyone else. That doesn't mean we could just fix ourselves with the snap of a finger and tip of a hat. We know we have problems. Fixing them is not like fixing a car. It's like fixing the ozone layer.

afternine wrote:Frankly, this relationship-focused culture is pathetic and boring.


What fucking planet are you from? Every human being is relationship-focused.

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setzer777
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby setzer777 » Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:53 pm UTC

psypete wrote:Point 1. Men in general (excluding those who do not have sexual interest in the female species) just want to get in your pants. The only ones that don't, you simply aren't their type. Many, many, many studies prove this time and time again. Men just want to have sex with random women all the time. If you "discover that [your] initial impressions were off", you got fooled.


The one thing I take huge issue with here is the word "just" - I'm fairly sure that there are no studies showing that men generally *only* want to have sex with random women, and don't want friendship, meaningful conversation, romantic relationships, etc.

I don't understand the mindset that says you can only have meaningful, angst-free friendship with someone you would never sleep with. Just because a guy would sleep with a woman if she was interested doesn't somehow make that the sole motivation of all of his actions towards her, or make friendship disingenuous. Not only is it possible to be interested in somebody on multiple levels, it's also perfectly possible to want sex with someone in the sense of: "If (s)he suggested sex, I'd gladly take the opportunity, but I don't really care enough to actively pursue it or be bothered if we don't have sex." I think that this is the attitude of most men towards platonic female friends they would sleep with* (in cases where there isn't a huge unrequited crush).

Incidentally, why do people say: "The (fe)male species?"

*And that's not just idle fact, that's cold hard speculation.
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby psypete » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:08 pm UTC

setzer777 wrote: The one thing I take huge issue with here is the word "just" - I'm fairly sure that there are no studies showing that men generally *only* want to have sex with random women, and don't want friendship, meaningful conversation, romantic relationships, etc.

I don't understand the mindset that says you can only have meaningful, angst-free friendship with someone you would never sleep with. Just because a guy would sleep with a woman if she was interested doesn't somehow make that the sole motivation of all of his actions towards her, or make friendship disingenuous. Not only is it possible to be interested in somebody on multiple levels, it's also perfectly possible to want sex with someone in the sense of: "If (s)he suggested sex, I'd gladly take the opportunity, but I don't really care enough to actively pursue it or be bothered if we don't have sex." I think that this is the attitude of most men towards platonic female friends they would sleep with* (in cases where there isn't a huge unrequited crush).

Incidentally, why do people say: "The (fe)male species?"

*And that's not just idle fact, that's cold hard speculation.


Yes I misspoke. They don't "just" want to get in women's pants. I meant to say "they all want to", but is not the only thing they may want (friendship, love, directions to an xkcd meetup, some spare change, etc)

And you're right. Sexual attraction does not (by and large) determine the quality or possibility of a friendship. The amount of sexual tension can surely put a strain on it at times, but there is no real way to determine this but in a case-by-case basis.

I just got out of a relationship, and now i'm a little depressed. I'd like to sleep with someone just to ease the pain, but i'm not about to go propositioning my female friends. At this point i'd rather keep non-relationship sex to one night stands, and friends as just friends for as long as humanly possible. I also acknowledge that if I found a girl who I shared lots of interests and really connected with, i'd try to win her heart and start a new relationship with her... if that fails I may settle for friendship, unless it's just too painful to see them platonically - a good example of where sexual or emotional tension can make friendships untenable.

Faranya
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Faranya » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:14 pm UTC

Scorpio3002 wrote:
Faranya wrote:I once started a conversation with a girl because we missed the same two stops on the bus, going to the same place. So, sine we were going to the same place from the same illogical location, it looked like I was following her home.

So I started up a conversation. WE talked until we got back.

I don't remember what about, or what her name was, and it does not matter.

Talk to people when there is nothing else to do. You'd be surprised at what you could learn.


Learned a lot from that conversation that you can't remember, did you? :P


Yep. Randomly starting a conversation is sometimes much better than NOT randomly starting a conversation :D

However, I learned a lot from randomly starting the (2 hr) conversation with the 70 year old black man in a blue velvet suit with brand new running shoes. That guy was awesome.
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LSN
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby LSN » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:20 pm UTC

msimswil wrote:Helpful T-shirt slogan:

OPENLY SHY
Please make
the first move!


I like this better than the official shirt.

Maximus_Light
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Maximus_Light » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:27 pm UTC

All I can say when I see this is, "Ri-i-i-i-ight."
I wish, if it where that easy I'd keep the lightsaber prop I made on me while on university campuses.

Adward
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Adward » Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:56 pm UTC

Damnit, this comic is awesome. Fits so many people (myself included) well. Fortunately I don't worry quite as much as before.

And in unrelated news, I haven't posted much before this.

ishkabibble
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby ishkabibble » Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:51 pm UTC

Rouse wrote:
For me The Game was merely a gateway to pick-up, I did a lot more reading and research and the things taught have given me alot more confidence. I don't use 'game' in terms of being a pick-up artist or to get laid, but just with my everyday social interactions. So if I see that cute girl sitting down on the train, I'm not afraid to go up and engage her.

I believe the concept gives people like me and the xkcd demographic just that little shove to get us out there. I know all of you here are pretty awesome people with great personalities but it can be hard to convey that to those girls out there.


I'll admit, The Game totally skeeves me out. I can certainly sympathize with the desire to improve interpersonal skills and romantic success, but The Game seems to be less "improve your skills" and more "use psychology to manipulate women." I HAVE read the message boards and I've found plenty to make me REALLY uncomfortable. There seems to be an emphasis on "us vs. them," (as in "Women do X, so WE must do Y".) Not to put too fine a point on it, but even your language, "those girls out there," creates the sense that women are separate and distant and "us guys need to stick together." Any philosophy that seeks to entrench differences between the genders is the beginning of really ugly stuff: willful misunderstanding on one end, "boys are scientists and girls are mommies" on the other. (For the record, "us girls" are here. On this message board. Reading and responding to "you guys" without the benefit of elbow touches or quick walk-aways to make us more interested in you.) To be clear, I also REALLY hate the "How to Make A Man Ask You Out/Call You Back/Propose" section of publishing. I hate ANY book/article that coyly endorses manipulation as a legitimate strategy for "getting what you want." Gross.

I'm sure you're a really nice guy, and I'm sure lot's of nice guys use The Game without nefarious intentions. I certainly don't begrudge whatever information or skills you've picked up that make you feel more confident; we should all be so lucky. And I have no problem with men or women using books, counseling, or seminars to improve their understanding of and interactions with their preferred gender. I just think The Game endorses something more (less?) than better interpersonal communication.

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby dabigkid » Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:10 pm UTC

OK, Randall, we get it; you're sexy and introverted. Now can we move on from the 3492834098 comics about social awkwardness? I'm having a hard time sympathizing.

afternine wrote:Frankly, this relationship-focused culture is pathetic and boring.

Don't worry, you'll grow up some day.
wut

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zjxs
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby zjxs » Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:47 pm UTC

No, actually, most nerdboys who have talked to me have wanted to get in my pants.


It's likely that most boys you've talked to have wanted to get into your pants. Nerdy boys are just far worse at hiding it. And thus, they seem creepy/obnoxious.

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby dabigkid » Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:57 pm UTC

zjxs wrote:
No, actually, most nerdboys who have talked to me have wanted to get in my pants.


It's likely that most boys you've talked to have wanted to get into your pants. Nerdy boys are just far worse at hiding it. And thus, they seem creepy/obnoxious.

While I could argue based on shoddy generalizations and hypotheses... in any case, it's really nice when people don't come off creepy and/or obnoxious.
wut

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Rhombus
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Rhombus » Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:38 pm UTC

I'd say her tiny arm is the real creepy thing here.

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Lewton » Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:50 pm UTC

ishkabibble wrote:
rancidtuna wrote:Ugh...feminists. They put a bad taste in my mouth. That is, if they'd let me put my mouth in/on/all over them.


This represents a common misconception about feminists: angry, "don't touch me" women. Overall, feminists LIKE sex (with men, even!) We just tend to prefer it with people who don't make demeaning jokes about feminists.


Demeaning jokes.. Like the one he made.. Which means feminists wouldn't want to have sex with him.. Making what he wrote true.. And thus it wasn't a misconception :P

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby LtBonzai » Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:01 pm UTC

XKCD-frequenting single young men are getting a bad rap in this thread, I think mostly due to poor sample size. I've found the demographic in question to be one of the most sensitive, articulate, cultured groups on the internet. If you want nerd-boi's who think women are fleshlights and just want to shag, well . . .

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Shpow
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Shpow » Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:38 pm UTC

Guys, that's it.

Don't stay thinking, just do when it comes to these things. What's the worst thing that could happen if you speak to a girl? That she rejects you?

Well, not really, the worst is that she dates, commits to and marries you and then leaves you after several years.


Okay, jokes aside, just speak to the person, seriously, it's so worth it.
On the surface, in view, an unnamed member,
Underneath that, a flame amidst the embers.
And in that surge of flames ne'er growing fainter,
Lies the beauty of art in the young painter.

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby ArcturustheFirst » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:11 am UTC

I just registered to put my two bits in about this whole thing.

First of all, I think I can speak for all men when I say that not ALL of us are just interested in sex and only sex in a relationship, or any time we speak to women. That's a pretty wicked generalization.

I have to say that as an incredibly lonely, geeky guy, I have never had a successful relationship with a girl. I am not afraid of speaking to girls, I am not friendless, but nonetheless, I am in a situation where night after night, day after day, I live my life with my metaphorical heart feeling like a wall has been erected around it, and there is no one who can get inside. I meet friends, I speak to people all day long, but it's just the same as if I spent the entire day in my room.

I honestly, sincerely, and wholeheartedly want to have a relationship with a girl as boyfriend/girlfriend. Unlike that rubik's cube/fleshlight analogy, however, I honestly don't care about the sex part of it. I just want a companion. If sex comes out of it, then so much the better. I want something like what older married couples have: a trusting, close relationship with someone that you sometimes get intimate with. I want someone to have close to me so that feeling of having a barrier around my heart goes away. The agony of having a hundred friends but no companions is... I don't know the word. It's just bad.

This comic (and several others in the archive and the net) about insecurity really speak to me because I've had some bad experiences with trying to meet girls and getting a relationship out of it. I have no idea what happens or how, but almost every girl I meet that I would like to have a relationship with goes nowhere. I meet them, I go out with them, and then nothing happens. She shows no interest, I show mine, I make my moves, but it stills comes to nothing and we just drift away. Provided I don't get a hostile reaction immediately, that is. Those times didn't go so well.

But I'm going to keep trying. God damn it, I am going to keep trying, and survive this unbearable loneliness, and find a companion someday. If I don't, being in a room full of friends but no companions might as well be an empty room, and sooner or later, that's just what it will become if the barricade grows much stronger than it already is.

I'm an intelligent, articulate, and (I've been told) funny and good-looking guy. And I will be damned if I'm going to deal with being alone in the world longer than I have to.

Sorry if this makes me "creepy".

Arcturus

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby M-x shell » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:18 am UTC

jadehasAspade wrote:ive read xkcd from its beginnings, however only with this comic did i decide to register. i miss the old-cute-love-comics like this one.

this makes me feel guilty for turning down a guy on the train once... :?


Don't be. As long as you weren't dismissive or rude, he probably thought it went rather well. The whole point of this comic is that shy people aren't afraid of polite rejection, but totally irrational things that we know are too crazy to describe out loud. Not many people would expect every, or even most, random introductions to end with a date. And accepting dates out of charity would only worsen the whole "Does she really like me, or is she just being nice?" problem.

Probably the most rational fear we (shy guys) have is that a girl will be embarrassed for us if we ask her out, which would make the whole thing real awkward, and then we'd feel guilty for putting her in that situation. Of course, this fear is predicated on the fear that women have an irrational fear that simply turning down a guy will crush him emotionally. So the best advice is to just not worry about it so much.

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Felix Tamen
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Felix Tamen » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:35 am UTC

Looks like this actually happened, but with a better outcome: http://bartdiaries.com/2009/09/29/a-match-made-on-bart/

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StClair
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby StClair » Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:21 am UTC

Interesting timing.
I saw two cute girls on my way home today. Different hairstyles (and clothing), but identical raspberry-red forelocks dyed into brown hair. And as I looked closer, I realized that they were in fact twins.
Alas, there was no way for me to look any closer/longer, let alone talking to them, without branding myself as TOTALLY creepy. So just a chance encounter. *sigh*

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PhantomPhanatic
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby PhantomPhanatic » Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:31 am UTC

This has to have been said before, but creepy guy apparently doesn't daydream in correct punctuation......
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wernher Von Braun

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rubber314chicken
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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby rubber314chicken » Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:35 am UTC

fealuinix wrote:
sithwalrus wrote:i would like to suggest that from now on all males and females walk around with prominent signs displaying a list of everyone they have a crush on.
think how much simpler it would all be, and if you didn't want to be on someones list you could be permanently removed, but at least you would know.
the downside would be that tales of unrequited love would be a lot harder to justify in fiction, so it might take a bit of drama out of the world.
w00t.


http://xkcd.com/592/


Haha.... That method would take a lot of the fun out of it. And I'd be really embarrassed to walk around with a list like that. Especially if you are dating someone and it updates itself somehow......
Official Thread-Jacker

SecondTalon wrote:Semen! I said semen! tee hee!

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Re: "Creepy" Discussion

Postby Phazon_Chaos » Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:59 am UTC

ArcturustheFirst wrote:I honestly, sincerely, and wholeheartedly want to have a relationship with a girl as boyfriend/girlfriend. Unlike that rubik's cube/fleshlight analogy, however, I honestly don't care about the sex part of it. I just want a companion. If sex comes out of it, then so much the better. I want something like what older married couples have: a trusting, close relationship with someone that you sometimes get intimate with.


This. I guess I'm somewhat of an anomaly among those in my situation, seeing as I am a nerdy guy in his senior year at high school who has never even been anything more than friends with a girl, but I would be perfectly fine being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without sex. Maybe I'm just subconciously trying to force that part of me into as small a part of my brain as possible, but I believe that about myself.

Anyways, had this comic been last week, it would've been a total "Randall get out of my head" moment, but last Friday I decided to have one of my random moments where I think "screw this", break out of my shell and stop caring what people may end up thinking. After wussing out at a few chances I had, I talked with this cute new girl who I (correctly) guessed was also a nerd, due to having a Fruits Basket bag and she turned out to be pretty cool.


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