0753: "Southern Half"

[mszegedy]

So… this is Randall's Random Thought Of The Day?

Note: I capitalized "The" because it sounds more Capital-y that way.

Also:

wait ... i dont get the joke?

Win.

[pretzil]

The reason it was called the 'Cold War' is that alot of it was secretly fought in antarctica. Thats where the moon landings were faked. The craters are actually from the penguin grenades

[sharkmano2]

But the south to which Kennedy was referring was the global economic[i][/i] south, which is a phrase used in economics and political science to refer to the third world. Considering the age in which this speech occurred, which was before every president needed to speechify in such a way that every dumbass with an internet connection can understand, it is not surprising that such academic jargon made its way in.

Again, sorry for being "that guy:" this just annoyed me enough to create an account to comment about this. Let the usual rabble proceed.

[shpoffo]

Kennedy said that because his LSD experience put him in touch with time-shifted alien consciousnesses who conveyed to him the geometry of the forthcoming pole shift. All of those continents will be the southern hemisphere.

Hawai'i will be the new north pole. It's ironic enough that it makes sense even if you aren't awake yet.


-shpoffo

[Duban]

Glad to see i'm not the only person who doesn't like Kennedy.

[pretzil]

Glad to see i'm not the only person who doesn't like Kennedy.

Hmm, history would suggest that there is at least one other...

[SirLondon]

JFK *did* own a globe, and that's why.



(and yes, I should have read the other posts before posting that, beh -_-; ...)

[SorryBoringNickName]

I had to re-read the comic about half a dozen times before I got it. I thought it was some reference that I, as a non-american reader, wasn't meant to get.

Then it hit me on the goddamn face and I had to put my pillow on my face to laugh (the rest of the family is sleeping, which, btw, I should be doing too).

Anyway... this is the kind of things that makes me realize that 1.- the world is fuked up beyond any hope of salvation and 2.- the face you see everyday is not the real president of the united states (non capitalized because, sorry, I truly hate your country, it doesn't deserve my caps).

/dense and heavily trollable OPINION.

[Calorus]

"The great battlefield for the defense and expansion of freedom today is the whole southern half of the globe, Asia, Latin America, Africa and the Middle East."

Problem solved. The only thing that makes this statement nonsensical is punctuation, which isn't spoken.

That doesn't work either, because "the whole southern half of the globe" includes a large part of the other named regions.

And Asia includes the Middle East. So? He was trying to make the problem seem bigger than it was to justify whatever actions he took/planned on taking.

THANK YOU! I logged back in for the first time in a year and a half to say just that.

In fact if you look at the wars America has fought and the countless innocent lives shattered and infrastructure which is bullet ridden courtesy of American and occasionally British invasion since JFK made that speech, there's a very close parallel.

Nicaragua (tin pot little country that had autonomously become democratic)
East Timor (see above)
Vietnam (Poor country that was undergoing a civil war as it tried to adopt communism - America joined the losing side, who were vastly outnumbered in terms of ideology as well as strength, the equivalent of Britain joining forces with the South during the American Civil War)
Cambodia (see above)
Afghanistan (Poor country that was unfortunate enough to have Saudi Arabians training on their soil and be governed by moral Neanderthals - and be in the way of an Oil Pipeline)
Iraq (Poor country led by a dictator American had installed, armed supported and long after the crimes against humanity for which he was sentenced to death - also sitting on the largest lake of oil in the Middle East)

The list goes on...

[PatrThom]

RM: "...or constructing a towering penis-shaped obelisk on Mars."

JFK: "...we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."

I LOLed at the instantaneous mental juxtaposition.

Olympus Glans?

--Patrick

[Chuq]

I just wanted to thank Randall for taking the time to draw Tasmania. It really means a lot to us.

[cybercobra]

Sounds like Randall hasn't heard of the Global South (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_South).

It's defined more politically rather than with regard to the equator. The partitioning line would run mostly East-West though, hence the 2 regions are North and South.

[s0merand0mdude]

Another thing that bugs me; the Middle East appears to have become its own continent. There needs to be an East Asia and a West Asia, because then everybody would know that the Middle East actually is in Asia.

Also been bugging me; Latin America means the countries in the Americas with a Latin-based language, so doesn't that include French? So isn't Quebec and Lousianna also part of Latin America?

Well, if you want to make that argument, English has a lot of roots in Latin as well...

[Ezzthetic]

Did JFK own a globe?

Yes he did.

It's called "being President of the Unted State of America".

[Calorus]

Another thing that bugs me; the Middle East appears to have become its own continent. There needs to be an East Asia and a West Asia, because then everybody would know that the Middle East actually is in Asia.

Also been bugging me; Latin America means the countries in the Americas with a Latin-based language, so doesn't that include French? So isn't Quebec and Lousianna also part of Latin America?

Well, if you want to make that argument, English has a lot of roots in Latin as well...

Yes, but even more German.

[sonia]

It's not one of Randall's best, but it's all right.

[felltir]

Another thing that bugs me; the Middle East appears to have become its own continent. There needs to be an East Asia and a West Asia, because then everybody would know that the Middle East actually is in Asia.

Also been bugging me; Latin America means the countries in the Americas with a Latin-based language, so doesn't that include French? So isn't Quebec and Lousianna also part of Latin America?

Well, if you want to make that argument, English has a lot of roots in Latin as well...

England can't be in Latin America, because we're not in America.

[mrbaggins]

RM: "...or constructing a towering penis-shaped obelisk on Mars."

JFK: "...we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."

I LOLed at the instantaneous mental juxtaposition.

Olympus Glans?

--Patrick

Olympus Mons Pubis.

Also, maybe he meant "Everything south of the USA" thinking that America clearly counts as half the world. At least.

[michael24easilybored]

Oh, and may I add that for somebody who is so pathetically pedantic about JFK's geography skills, you've missed a mistake in your own comic. You said that you're half a century late. Half a century is fifty years. The speech was forty-nine years ago.

Stick to your standards, you fuckwitted hack of a cartoonist.

I fully endorse this.

And as said earlier, he meant what is referred to as 'the south' by economists, ie what used to be the third world. Stop being such pedants.

[bag]

There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation many never come again. But why, some say, constructing a towering penis-shaped obelisk on Mars? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?
We choose to go and construct a towering penis-shaped obelisk on Mars. We choose to go and construct a towering penis-shaped obelisk on Mars in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.

My god! Randalls right! :O

[merseyless]

Oh, and may I add that for somebody who is so pathetically pedantic about JFK's geography skills, you've missed a mistake in your own comic. You said that you're half a century late. Half a century is fifty years. The speech was forty-nine years ago.

Stick to your standards, you fuckwitted hack of a cartoonist.

Bit late but obvious troll is obvious.

[a.sub]

wait ... i dont get the joke?

Win.

much obliged, it took me a while to make it

[gordysc]

Cloned dinosaurs in space > snakes on a plane

[Utisz]

I don't know if we can say Kennedy was wrong, I mean if we move the equator just a tad, add a comma, and turn the earth on its side then I think you'll find his comment was actually pretty spot on.

[Kalos]

How topical.

[Screature]

How tropic-al

[felltir]

How tro-pic-al

[DVC]

Transcription Error

This is what happens when you copy down a dash instead of a comma!

Try this: "The great battlefield for the defense and expansion of freedom today is the whole southern half of the globe, Asia, Latin America, Africa and the Middle East. – JFK

[Zegnar]

Thirding that he was obviously referring to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North-South_divide

Given that XKCD is so snobbish about intelligence, to run a weak comic based on an ignorant misunderstanding is pretty annoying.

[oddtail]

Pff, like any Americans knew where any parts of the world other than Europe, America, and Russia were 50 years ago. How are you supposed to find a country on the map if you haven't invaded it yet? (Only reason the British are better at geography is that they had hundreds of years of head-start)

We invaded Libya, three times. And West Africa. And Korea. And Japan. And the Phillipines. And every single country in South America. And Guam, I guess. And southeast Asia. And the Middle-East.

So by your logic the only places we couldn't find are India, South Africa and Australia.

Since the comic was already about an American president, I feel obliged to add:

"Well... you forgot Poland."

About the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North-South_divide - I don't think it makes the joke any less funny. A joke doesn't have to always offer an in-depth analysis of everything. Heck, many good jokes are built on ignoring well-known and obvious facts.

As a matter of fact, today's comic reminds me of the "West-East" comic. You know, the one with the US in the middle, and arrows pointing westwards and eastwards saying, respectively, "the East" and "the West". Although admittedly, I found it less funny than today's (I blame my Eurocentric worldview).

[RabbitWho]

But the south to which Kennedy was referring was the global economic[i][/i] south, which is a phrase used in economics and political science to refer to the third world. Considering the age in which this speech occurred, which was before every president needed to speechify in such a way that every dumbass with an internet connection can understand, it is not surprising that such academic jargon made its way in.

Again, sorry for being "that guy:" this just annoyed me enough to create an account to comment about this. Let the usual rabble proceed.

Agreed, but I think we should be nice to Randal because he knows loads about loads of different stuff, and when you self educate you miss bits. (I often feel like JOEY TRIBBIANI in that episode of FRIENDS where he buys one book from a set of encyclopedias. )

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... divide.svg


I would argue over the word "half" more than the word "southern" because that's 80% or so of the worlds population.

And the rollover text is FANTASTIC.

[Klear]

I think this should apply, though it's a more of a misunderstanding on purpose.

[sween64]

The reason it was called the 'Cold War' is that alot of it was secretly fought in antarctica. Thats where the moon landings were faked. The craters are actually from the penguin grenades

Hahaha awesome!

I just wanted to thank Randall for taking the time to draw Tasmania. It really means a lot to us.

The rest of the world does think of you sometimes.

[Mr. Burke]

Someone should teach Randall about “figures of speech.”

Especially when he tries to analyze a speech.

[Carteeg_Struve]

Maybe Jack was using the Mason-Dixon line instead of the equator. It's not a perfect line across, but it helps.

[Sonic#]

Highlights from the JFK speech:

For the eyes of the world now look into space, to the moon and to the planets beyond, and we have vowed that we shall not see it governed by a hostile flag of conquest, but by a banner of freedom and peace: the penis-shaped obelisk. We have vowed that we shall not see space filled with weapons of mass destruction, but with instruments of knowledge and understanding: the penis-shaped obelisk.

But if I were to say, my fellow citizens, that we shall send to the moon, 240,000 miles away from the control station in Houston, a giant penis-shaped obelisk more than 300 feet tall, the length of this football field, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, capable of standing heat and stresses several times more than have ever been experienced, fitted together with a precision better than the finest watch, carrying all the equipment needed for propulsion, guidance, control, communications, food and survival, on an untried mission, to an unknown celestial body, and then return it safely to earth, re-entering the atmosphere at speeds of over 25,000 miles per hour, causing heat about half that of the temperature of the sun--almost as hot as it is here today--and do all this, and do it right, and do it first before this decade is out--then we must be bold.

Well, space is there, and we're going to mount it, and the moon and the planets are there, and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there. And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God's blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked: inseminating the moon.

Within these last 19 months at least 45 penis-shaped obelisks have circled the earth. Some 40 of them were "made in the United States of America" and they were far more sophisticated and supplied far more knowledge to the people of the world than those of the Soviet Union.

Okay, juvenile moment over.

[zoltar]

All this is well and good, but am I the only one here who thinks we should blow up The Moon?

[FalseProphet]

You sure that hyphen isn't supposed to be a comma?

Also, the reason people don't realize the Middle East is part of Asia is because North Africa keeps getting lumped in with it by Western media for mostly superficial linguistic and cultural reasons (ie, intellectual laziness).

[Majuba]

Boo. Not worthy of xkcd.

[enderverse]

I am not an expert on this, but it looks like the "north south divide" that people are talking about didn't become a phrase until the 80s. I thought the speech was earlier than that.