0778: "Scheduling"

[pirate_pete]

Family growth is not until round five at the earliest, not round two.

This is true, but rounds 5-7 are also called 'Stage 2'.

Yeah, the terminology in English translation isn't always clear.

[The Boz]

This sounds like a porno gone horribly fantastically wrong.

I had the same feeling. Remind me to fish my mind out of the gutter.

[Karilyn]

I signed up to this forum to make this very important observation. Is that pizza guy holding the pizza SIDEWAYS?!

Delivered a pizza once, watched the woman immediately tuck the pizza under her arm sideways like that. I rolled my eyes, head back to the store, only to find out that she called and angrily screamed over how the pizza delivery girl messed up her pizza cause it's all crammed in the side of the box and ruined... And she got a free pizza out of it... which I had to deliver to her /rage

I have a more startling observation:
Why is the pizza boy not got one of those hotboxes for the pizza? I used to do pizza deliveries, the closest I ever got to being in some pr0n scenarios was a bachelor party with this naked chick who offered me a beer.

I delivered once to a hotel where a fat gross greasy guy in his tighty whities (complete with wet spots) with an obvious erection and porno playing in the background. OH GOD NOOOOOOO, For the love of god, don't tip me, DO NOT TIP ME, I do not want any money you've touched.

On a less gross note, I've also had the "We ordered a pizza, and then thought we had plenty of time to make love before it got here and OH WAIT THERE IS A DOORBELL, let us put on our bathrobes really quick and run to the door" The guy was kinda cute.

[mcv]

I guess there could be some worker-placement joke in there somewhere, but it's not really working. Not a great comic.

Still, an Agricola reference is always good.

I always wonder how family growth really works. One family member goes out in a field to have some fun, and then comes back with someone else. The mysterious part is that the other family members don't seem to complain about it. I guess it's a polyamorous farm.

[riddler]

We forgot the cable guy, but MMMF isn't my favorite.

"You can imagine what happens next."
"He fixes the cable?"

[amorya]

This would have been funnier if it turned out that the Joneses had intentionally set up three escorts for teh lulz.

Eh, that's the point, yes. I expect Mr. Jones and the other Jones entering (be it Miss or Mrs) to expect some embarassing scene (with their escort / secret lover already being there), but not THAT

I thought that each member of the Jones family had independently ordered a stripper, without realising the others had done the same.

[Monika]

Why have I not heard of Agricola even though it already won two years ago? I have bought many of the "games of the year" and they were all worth it.

Oh, and there are "German-style board games"? Cool!

This comic is confusing.

Who are the Joneses?
Who called for the plumber?
Where does that maid come from?
...

Well, consider these two scenarios: 1) A plumber or pizza delivery guy coming to the house and the lady of the house having sex with him. 2) The Jones forgetting that they ordered pizza and a plumber or accidentally ordering both of them for the wrong time when they cannot be home yet or the pizza delivery and the plumber both going to the wrong Jones house by accident. I think both scenarios are about equally likely (quasi not at all). So if there can be an estimated 1 trillion porn videos with scenario 1), why does it bother you that there are a few comics with scenario 2)?

But I think the family's daughter called both the pizza delivery and the plumber for a time shortly before her parents will arrive. For the lulz.

She also placed the Agricola so that they would see it

[Hamsvlekiss]

Good lord, but we are a bunch of stereotypical nerds. Fine by the math and cult classic jokes and the like - but the instant we get a simple porno parody comic, everyone is diving in to analyze the specifics in some futile hope of understanding it.

[Monika]

Because, what, nerds don't watch porn?

[keithc]

Yeah, but Caylus isn't as popular, as good of a game, or referred to in a previous xkcd comic.

<grammar Nazi on> as good a game, there's no need for "of" in there<grammar Nazi off>

[Hamsvlekiss]

Because, what, nerds don't watch porn?

Allow me to apply emphasis to "simple" and "parody comic."

[Switch31]

I feel like one problem is that the strip doesn't make sense if you don't know what Agricola is...I don't know, it just seems like its missing a punchline.

[mcv]

I feel like one problem is that the strip doesn't make sense if you don't know what Agricola is...I don't know, it just seems like its missing a punchline.

I know what Agricola is, and I assure you that knowledge doesn't help here.

[Faranya]

I feel like one problem is that the strip doesn't make sense if you don't know what Agricola is...I don't know, it just seems like its missing a punchline.

That's because the punchline was the entire last two panels. Not a line.

[DragonHawk]

Submitted for your approval...

"Anatomy of an 'I don't get it'"

1. I recognized the first few panels as porn movie setups, but somehow initially missed the gag that they weren't supposed to all be happening simultaneously. I was trying to predict what the scenario was going to be, which of course was the wrong predictive branch to be following.
2. I don't usually pay attention to the title until after the comic. Obviously that would have helped me here.
3. Panel 4 likely would have set me straight with "Sorry, big mixup", but then I saw "Agricola". I had no idea what that was and started trying to figure *that* out.
4. Then when the Joneses came home "for real" and I started trying to figure out what kind of porn script would have that happen. If I had been on top of things I would have recognized it was a surreal episode and thus didn't matter, but... see above.
5. And, of course, being unfamiliar with Agricola (or complex board games in general) and also thoroughly confused at this point, the title text made no sense at all to me.
6. I blame this mental train wreck on the fact that I just woke up, am still groggy, and haven't had coffee yet.

[uncivlengr]

Basically, there was an idea that all these strippers were booked by different people in the same house (for some reason that makes absolutely no sense). They all show up and nobody is around, but apparently the Agricola reference was thrown in out of nowhere to distract from that fact that the setup went absolutely nowhere.

Personally, I was thrown of in Panel one, with the weird lines coming from the text bubbles - I'm not sure how Randall thinks people read, but I started on the left, and followed the lines, thinking that it was all a continuation of the speech by the pizza guy. That crosses streams with the maid's speech, but it's not obvious that this happens until after you've stumbled over it.

Seperate lines from both their heads to the "wait, who are you?" would have made it perfectly clear.

[Monika]

Yeah, I also needed a while to figure out who says what.

[DragonHawk]

Basically, there was an idea that all these strippers were booked by different people in the same house (for some reason that makes absolutely no sense). They all show up and nobody is around, but apparently the Agricola reference was thrown in out of nowhere to distract from that fact that the setup went absolutely nowhere.

If they're actors in porn movies accidentally scheduled for the same location at the same time, it makes more sense. And I think panel 2 supports that interpretation: The actors are talking about their scripts. One doesn't usually order a stripper just because you're home early, but walking in on the sexy maid is a stereotypical porn setup.

Personally, I was thrown of in Panel one, with the weird lines coming from the text bubbles - I'm not sure how Randall thinks people read, but I started on the left, and followed the lines, thinking that it was all a continuation of the speech by the pizza guy.

I used to have that sort of trouble, too, before I understood how comics do things. In comics, the convention is generally to read balloons first left-to-right without moving down -- keep along the same imaginary horizontal line. Once you reach the right-most balloon on that line, look back to the left margin and then down for the next "line". Repeat. In other words, read balloons like you would read plain text. This gives you the proper order of speech. The connectors just identify who is speaking, not order of speech.

Could Randall have made this clearer? Sure. But if you know the convention described above, it helps.

[uncivlengr]

If they're actors in porn movies accidentally scheduled for the same location at the same time, it makes more sense. And I think panel 2 supports that interpretation: The actors are talking about their scripts. One doesn't usually order a stripper just because you're home early, but walking in on the sexy maid is a stereotypical porn setup.

Why would the daughter be having a party and hiring porn actor? He doesn't say, "this is the Jones' house, we're shooting a porn here, right?"

Why would they show up on a set acting out their roles before talking to anyone or even seeing a camera? I'm pretty sure they're strippers acting in character.

[SpringLoaded12]

Where's the babysitter and the pool boy?

[Sprocket]

mmmm :-/ Agricola... ::snuggles::
So..instead of porn we have Agricola... I mean...ok...

Apparently Mrs. Jones is into Pizza guys, plumbers AND me! Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on.

[DennyMo]

I wonder if Agricola will see any kind of sales spike? I'd never heard of it before today (last non-Hasbro game we bought was Settlers...), but am interested now. Maybe there are others?

Oh, and FWIW I thought the comic was pretty funny.

[Cecilff2]

This is all the work of BHG. It must be.

[Zylon]

I love Cherry Agricola on the rocks, with a splash of rum.

But yeah, the dialog in this one is a train wreck. First the maid acts surprised ("Mon dieu!") that someone has arrived, then in the very next panel says she was expecting it. And if nobody was having a party, then who ordered the pizza?

[cream wobbly]

Confusing set up, token nerd reference, unnatural and confusing dialogu, the maid looks like she is wearing feather dusters. (Super ultimate bonus: alt-text tries to add another joke by referencing cliche pornographies, cleverly combined with a pun about the game).

Hm. You really didn't get this one at all, did you?

Personally, I was thrown of in Panel one, with the weird lines coming from the text bubble

In comics, the convention is generally to read balloons first left-to-right without moving down -- keep along the same imaginary horizontal line. Once you reach the right-most balloon on that line, look back to the left margin and then down for the next "line". Repeat.

It's been a long time since you read Pokey, isn't it?

[DragonHawk]

If they're actors in porn movies accidentally scheduled for the same location at the same time, it makes more sense. And I think panel 2 supports that interpretation: The actors are talking about their scripts. One doesn't usually order a stripper just because you're home early, but walking in on the sexy maid is a stereotypical porn setup.

Why would the daughter be having a party and hiring porn actor? He doesn't say, "this is the Jones' house, we're shooting a porn here, right?"

Presumably, the pizza guy's script goes something along the lines of, "Sexy daughter is having a party with her sexy girl friends. They order a pizza. Pizza guy arrives. Yadda yadda. Commence orgy." So in panel 1, pizza guy was supposed to say, "Pizza delivery! Did someone order a hot sausage!" (innuendo). But he sees a maid instead of a party, and and so he breaks character and asks, "Who are you?" In panel 2, he's still out of character when he asks why the setting doesn't match the script.

Likewise, the maid. Porn flick premise is: "Maid is normally done and gone by the time guy gets home, but he gets home early. Sexuality ensues." Hence the maid's opening line in panel 1. Again, in panel 2, she's out-of-character and states what her script said was going to happen.

Why would they show up on a set acting out their roles before talking to anyone or even seeing a camera?

Because it's a single-page comic strip. There isn't the room for that kind of backstory, even if Randall cared about it, which I'm pretty sure he doesn't. Bellisario's maxim applies.

I'm pretty sure they're strippers acting in character.

If you're going to play the literal reality interpretation game:

1. Who let the maid stripper in?
2. Who orders a stripper for their daughter's party?
3. What does Mr. Jones coming home early have to do with the daughter's party?
4. Why would Mrs. Jones then want her own stripper?
5. Why would paid employees (the strippers) just stop everything and start playing a game in a client's house? Why wouldn't they call the home office and try and figure out what's going on. Maybe they got the address wrong, in which case there is still a paying customer waiting somewhere.
6. Why are Mr. and Mrs. Jones so surprised that the strippers they presumably ordered are there?

-----

Apparently Mrs. Jones is into Pizza guys, plumbers AND me!

You're a sexy French maid?
-----

In comics, the convention is generally to read balloons first left-to-right without moving down -- keep along the same imaginary horizontal line. Once you reach the right-most balloon on that line, look back to the left margin and then down for the next "line". Repeat.

It's been a long time since you read Pokey, isn't it?

I've never even heard of "Pokey". Google leads me to presume you mean Pokey the Penguin? A random archive click found #31, which seems to follow this convention. Higher balloons first. Otherwise the dialog is:

Small penguin: "Okay."
Big penguin: "Let's go for a walk."

Also, I'm not saying this is a Law of Nature, just the usual convention. Most comics do indeed usually follow it, in my experience.

[Belial]

[*]Why are Mr. and Mrs. Jones so surprised that the strippers they presumably ordered are there?

You mean you've never ordered a dozen strippers to someone else's house as a prank?

Alternately, they're not strippers, they're porn-movie-characters (not actors, characters).

[cream wobbly]

I love Cherry Agricola on the rocks, with a splash of rum.

But yeah, the dialog in this one is a train wreck. First the maid acts surprised ("Mon dieu!") that someone has arrived, then in the very next panel says she was expecting it. And if nobody was having a party, then who ordered the pizza?

Here, let me help.

Interior, day. Living room.

A French maid is dusting with a feather duster.

The door opens. Pizza Delivery Guy walks in.

Simultaneously:
PDG: Pizza delivery! Did someone order a hot sausa-
FM: Mon deiu! Monseiur is home ear-

Together: Wait, who are you?

PDG: This is the Joneses', right? Their daughter was supposed to be having a party!

FM: No, I thought Mr. Jones was coming home early.

PDG: But I thou-

Enter stage right The Plumber.

P: Howdy, Mrs. Jones, I hear you need some plumbi- ... Who are you?

FM: Sorry, big mixup.

PDG: Hey, check it out—the Joneses have Agicola!

P: I love that game!

Enter: Mr. and Mrs. Jones, stage left.

Mr. Jones: What in the name of …

PDG: Dammit I wanted that grain.

FM: Hush, you have starting player.

Fade to black, over dialog:

P: How about a little … family growth?

PDG: Dude, that's not until Round Two.

END

So you see, it's a porn script, with each oversexed individual planted to take on a member of the family: French Maid for Mr. Jones; Pizza Delivery Guy for Young Ms. Jones; and the Plumber for Mrs. Jones. See, all service delivery people in the world of porn are "well built" and ready for sex on the job. And somehow, three scripts have collided only nobody told the actors, placing three initiators in the same situation, in an entirely unrealistic fashion which—you may or may not have noticed—is a mechanism by which comics strips often get their laughs.

If Randall could have left a little room to the right, it would have made things clearer to have Young Ms. Jones enter there with a (different) line shared with her "parents". Also he should speak from notes and wear slip-on shoes.

[BlueLaughter]

At first I thought that
Mr. Jones, had ordered the French Maid stripper;
Mrs. Jones, had ordered the plumber service;
their daughter had ordered a pizza with extra toppings.

I thought the Jones were just surprised to see the 3 extras playing Agricola, not that they were there.

[cream wobbly]

In comics, the convention is generally to read balloons first left-to-right without moving down -- keep along the same imaginary horizontal line. Once you reach the right-most balloon on that line, look back to the left margin and then down for the next "line". Repeat.

It's been a long time since you read Pokey, isn't it?

I've never even heard of "Pokey". Google leads me to presume you mean Pokey the Penguin? A random archive click found #31, which seems to follow this convention. Higher balloons first. Otherwise the dialog is:

Small penguin: "Okay."
Big penguin: "Let's go for a walk."

Also, I'm not saying this is a Law of Nature, just the usual convention. Most comics do indeed usually follow it, in my experience.

Then try #78:

Panel 1: Right to left
Small child: POKEY I AM BORED!!!
Pokey: READ A BOOK

Panel 2: Left to right, top to bottom
Pokey: A BOOK WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO A MAGICAL FANTASY LAND!!!
Small child: HOORAY!!!

Panel 3: Order unimportant (I prefer right to left here though)
Pokey: I AM READING A BOOK ABOUT AMORTIZATION IT IS VERY GOOD
Small child: POKEY I AM READING A BOOK CALLED LIFE IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE!!! I LIKE MY BOOK

Panel 4: Order debatable, but given the punchline is more shouty, it should come later: right to left
Small child: I FOUND 20 DOLLARS IN MY BOOK!!!
Pokey: (punchline) THERE ARE MANY GOOD THINGS INSIDE BOOKS

It helps to understand that this is not the convention. You are very good at noticing that. Jolly well done. I was raising it because.

[Agent Foxtrot]

Lame comic. Unfunny and confusing. I think Randall needs to take a break for a few months so he can refresh his ideas.

[littlelj]

Jones' should be Joneses'.

Mr. Jones → Mr. Jones's house (or Mr. Jones' house)
The Joneses → The Joneses' house

Agreed.

My real (as in IRL) name is Mrs Jones. I therefore refrain from making any comment about the possible realism of said comic.

[Apeiron]

I signed up to this forum to make this very important observation.

Is that pizza guy holding the pizza SIDEWAYS?!

This.

If my pizza guy did that he'd get no tip and nasty call to his boss.

[mcv]

I've got a pizza place right around the corner. They make absolutely wonderful pizza, but somehow their delivery guys always manage to turn them into a big mess. So usually I just go to pick them up myself. That's never ended in a porn situation so far.

[ModestMouse]

I signed up to this forum to make this very important observation.

Is that pizza guy holding the pizza SIDEWAYS?!

That's because there really isn't a pizza in that box. It's empty. This is how it plays out.

The pizza guy is there to get it on with the daughter, role playing as a pizza guy with a 'hot sausage' pizza.

The French Maid is there waiting for the husband to come home so they can do a little role play something something. She's obviously the guy's mistress.

The plumber shows up for the wife. Seems the wife has a little side action going on, too.

Whoops, all the lovers show up at once. To compound the awkward situation, the husband and wife also show up. The husband knows who the French Maid is, the wife knows who the plumber is, neither knows who the pizza guy is only to find out that their daughter is into freaky role playing monkey ex. Oh, the tangled webs they weave.

[Black]

cream wobbly, you are right in that I didn't get it at all.

Because it doesn't make any fucking sense.

Continue to defend it though, you're doing great.

[t-note]

This comic so fits my morning. I came downstairs to get myself ready for work and get my 1 1/2 yr old ready for daycare and discovered my roommate having sex with the door open. spiffy....NOT. that just makes me never ever want to be in my current home again. YUCK. now instead of having my husband look for a place to move away to, I'm looking too during work. damn swinger roommates...

[kwub]

Having only ever watched gay porn, this comic made absolutely no sense to me until reading the explanations posted here.

[PM 2Ring]

I also found this comic a little confusing, but it's never easy keeping up with the Joneses.

[uncivlengr]

If they're actors in porn movies accidentally scheduled for the same location at the same time, it makes more sense. And I think panel 2 supports that interpretation: The actors are talking about their scripts. One doesn't usually order a stripper just because you're home early, but walking in on the sexy maid is a stereotypical porn setup.

Why would the daughter be having a party and hiring porn actor? He doesn't say, "this is the Jones' house, we're shooting a porn here, right?"

Presumably, the pizza guy's script goes something along the lines of, "Sexy daughter is having a party with her sexy girl friends. They order a pizza. Pizza guy arrives. Yadda yadda. Commence orgy." So in panel 1, pizza guy was supposed to say, "Pizza delivery! Did someone order a hot sausage!" (innuendo). But he sees a maid instead of a party, and and so he breaks character and asks, "Who are you?" In panel 2, he's still out of character when he asks why the setting doesn't match the script.

Likewise, the maid. Porn flick premise is: "Maid is normally done and gone by the time guy gets home, but he gets home early. Sexuality ensues." Hence the maid's opening line in panel 1. Again, in panel 2, she's out-of-character and states what her script said was going to happen.

None of that addresses the salient point: if they were all porn actors arriving for the first time to a set, they wouldn't be already acting their roles.

If they were strippers, though, they would be. Nothing about this strip conveys that they're porn actors, and even if it did, it still wouldn't make any sense.