crimsonchin wrote:I think other people have basically said it, but so that it's in my own words: don't judge the book "The Game" by the people who claim to practice it. Actually, you probably shouldn't judge them either, but I'll deal with that next paragraph. My main point being that The Game is an amazing story; it's about a loser becoming more confident and going on crazy adventures (including going to a country that doesn't officially exist), and about the people who do live the pick-up artist lifestyle.
...You can be a perfectly nice guy, in fact on paper you can be a perfect match for a girl, but if she doesn't feel anything for you then nothing's going to happen. Attraction isn't rational, so if there's a way for us nerdy types to cheat it then is that so wrong? Just to get over the initial approach/attraction/avoiding the friend zone part, the relationship part is different. ...
Attraction is not rational, and so there is no basis to say that one is a match on paper, c.f. xkcd#55. A great deal of attraction, at least for the young, is social. How your friends think are cute, who you're parent think are bad, who has money, who will put out.
Not every guy has the same interest in sx. The sad thing about book fo the ilk of 'The Game' is that these guys are doing all these things not because that is who they are, but because they want sex and can't get sex, or, more distressingly, are told that they are expected to have lots of sex with lots of people, and therefore need to do these things even if this not what they want. It is just telling a woman that she is expected to get married, and she has to be that person even if that is not what she wants.
There may be a small set of guys who are can't get sex, or a small set of grils who can't find a husband. What I actually believe is that people over constrain themselves. One has to have a girl with a certain hair color, or a guy who drives a certain car, or a girl that will sleep with you on the first date, or a gu that likes to spend his money on you. It is this over constraint that creates a promotes a need for these types of books. Normal, healthy, people can have fun relationships without playing games. Maybe not at the levels they have been brainwashed into believing is normal. Maybe not relationships with people they believe they should have, but real relationships never the less.
And in all my time it has never been the interest of self confidence that is the issue. It has only been the awareness. Be aware of pople around you. Be aware that they are real people and not just flesh robots to be challenged or used. They have interests, that even though they may not be your intests, are valid. OTOH you can't feign interest in something you really find silly.Decide if a person is not attractive because they are not attractive to you, or simply not attractive enough to be in the movies. None of this has anything to do with picking up a girl the first night you are a college, or marring a guy. It has to do with compassion and not being a dick.