0813: "One-Liners"

[LucasBrown]

Alt text: "'Upgrade to the latest version of Adobe Flash player to view THIS content, bitch.' ::triggers detanator::"

Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn about those lines.

[Last_Tonight]

A typo in the title text!

Good comic, though.

[westrim]

Does he not type the text into a field with spell check first or something? I mean, the hand stylus written stuff in the comic I can understand, but the title text is typed.

[mask_man]

Well, I joined in hopes of getting first post. Hello, world.
In all honesty, I believe the order should be: First, third, (second/fourth in random order) and then the last should be placed anywhere below the third.

[Vieto]

Is it just me, or is the last 1-liner more awesome than any of the others?

[glasnt]

Damn it, I just got the image of Robin Williams in tights out of my head a few days ago >_<

Best Peter Pan remake though, without a doubt.

My contribution:

[Trinity, with gun to Mr Smith]
T: Captcha this
[BOOM!]


HI JOEE


Cell 4 is Apple, right? :p
EULA STRIKES BACK

[CyanRook]

The last one-liner is definitely the best by far.

[darknut]

the last one actually semms the most likely to become a one-liner

[westrim]

I think that awesomeness is exactly why he believes it will never be said.

[tehol]

I don't normally make comments like these... but I don't actually find this particular comment funny.

Am I missing something? It's group of one-liners that wouldn't make it into an action movie, arranged in a fairly subjective order about which ones are more or less likely to be found in said movie.

[lordnorthiii]

Go ahead, sudo make my day!

[Uninfinity]

"Logout, mother-effer!"

Eh, it sucks that most one-liners only work if you cuss.

and oh no a typo ahhh

[cjmcjmcjmcjm]

Crap! I just forgot to carry the two

[lihan161051]

What's a detanator? Thinking there should be one less "a" and one more "o" in that word ..

(hey, when one is Randall, expectations are somewhat higher .. :p )

[nykevin]

Not sure if this is the right place to say it, but why isn't the "next" link from 812 working yet?

[phlip]

Not sure if this is the right place to say it, but why isn't the "next" link from 812 working yet?

Because your cache is out of date. Do a hard-refresh.

[Sprocket]

This graph is SOLIDLY backwards.

[Qaanol]

Clearly a “detanator” makes you pasty-white and more susceptible to sunburns.

This graph is SOLIDLY backwards.

This.

[Steve the Pocket]

Not sure if this is the right place to say it, but why isn't the "next" link from 812 working yet?

Because your cache is out of date. Do a hard-refresh.

More like... *whips out gun* ...your cache is out of date. I'm gonna hard-refresh your ass!

Wow, these are fun.

[Komahawk]

If yippee ki yay motherfucker can be a movie one-liner I don't see how bangarang can't

[Durin]

This graph is SOLIDLY backwards.

Flip 3 and 4 and I agree with you.

I suppose this is pretty much against the point you were trying to make, but I really liked the last one and the third one.

[Kgummy]

This graph is SOLIDLY backwards.

I agree, especially considering that bangarang is apparently the Jamaican slang for chaos/hubbub/disorder.
So obviously it would be said in a movie either by a Jamaican guy, or to a Jamaican guy.

For the other ones:
1: 1984 remake, or similar style movie, in action movie style.
2: Action movie starring scientists as scientists who kick ass after they discover that some corporation is slightly modifying formula results to take over the world or some such.
3: It'd be about someone going after cutthroat banks who charge insanely high interest rates to buy up land for nefarious purposes. They also have bribed the government to allow it.
4: Evil corporation uses EULA to get people to take part in dangerous clinical trials or get them to agree to become zombies or something.
5: Well, besides most likely taking in Jamaica, or alternate Jamaica, it'd be about terrorists just causing chaos to overthrow the government. It would be called Bangarang, and would obviously have the word throughout the movie. "They call themselves 'Bangarang' because of all the chaos they cause."

Is it sad that I'd actually want to see quite a few of these?

[Arancaytar]

If "Bangarang, Motherfucker" can't make it as a movie one-liner, it may have a good shot as an internet meme. It's already stuck in my head.

[BlueNight]

That Rufio suckerpunch was the most gut-wrenching thing I had ever seen in cinema - in fact, it still is. I remember, when Qui-Gon gets killed in Episode 1, thinking that it just didn't have the same impact. Perhaps the sequence of reaction shots just takes too long, or perhaps (as Jedi do), he saw it coming too late to stop it, but not too late to make his peace with it.

[matrix3509]

4: Evil corporation uses EULA to get people to take part in dangerous clinical trials or get them to agree to become zombies or something.

That sounds like it could make a bad (by bad I mean "better than all of the others") Resident Evil movie.

[webgiant]

I think two and three need to be switched. There just aren't all that many action movies with gun-toting mathematicians, while there are tons of movies where accountants turn out to be the evil masterminds.

Which is just wrong. There need to be more gun-toting mathematicians! Stephen Hawking's wheelchair needs to have a tongue-operated missile battery.

[shashwat986]

The comic's just OK this time.

Also, the typo spoiled it for me.

[serrath]

This graph is SOLIDLY backwards.

He clearly mislabeled the axis. There's no way he thought that fucking up a 1984 reference would be a better idea for an action hero than referencing a classic movie. It's like the whole Yippe-Ki-Yay Roy Rogers type thing from Die Hard, for crying out loud... If I follow Randall's logic at all, "You can't take the sky from me ::gunshot::" is a better one-liner than "Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn... ::gunshot::" He's just too far into the geek world to be properly relatable. (Is relatable a word?)

[crzftx]

There's been a lot of typos in recent comics. Maybe Randal is purposely placing them? A hidden message?

Or am I giving him far too much credit?

[Vaskafdt]

There's been a lot of typos in recent comics. Maybe Randal is purposely placing them? A hidden message?

Or am I giving him far too much credit?

I guess he should have checked his spelling! drops a zippo lighter on the trail of gasoline.

[SW15243]

There's been a lot of typos in recent comics. Maybe Randal is purposely placing them? A hidden message?

Or am I giving him far too much credit?

You are giving him far too much credit.
I love XKCD to death but sometimes people seem to think that everything he does is all part of some giant, obsessively thought out overarching scheme when really, Randall is but a man. Sometimes men make typos. Sometimes, men make typos at a higher rate than average for extended periods.

[SlyReaper]

There's been a lot of typos in recent comics. Maybe Randal is purposely placing them? A hidden message?

Or am I giving him far too much credit?

I guess he should have checked his spelling! drops a zippo lighter on the trail of gasoline.

I guess someone *sunglasses* loves the spell of napalm in the morning.

YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH

[squig]

I'm on the first page! And I wasn't too keen on this comic, it really is just a list of things.

[larsh]

Because your cache is out of date. Do a hard-refresh.

Hey, that's almost a great one-liner. Or two.

"I'm afraid your cache is out of date, <dramatic term of address>!"

"Time for a hard refresh, <dramatic term of address>!"

[jonadab]

Even more unlikely ones:

* Is it just me, or is it a trifle warm in here? [uses flamethrower] Nah, must be just me.
* E equals M C squared, commie scum! [sets off nuclear holocaust]
* That's a strawman argument, sir, a common logical fallacy. Didn't you ever take a class in logic?
* That red squiggly line means this word's not in the spelling dictionary, dorkwad!
* You see, with the addition of an inflectional ending, this formerly pretonic syllable becomes propretonic. The consequent shortening of the vowel is known among linguists as propretonic reduction, a form of ablaut. Any questions, [term of non-endearment]?

[melladh]

the last one actually semms the most likely to become a one-liner

Agree. If nothing else because people just don't pay enough attention to remember where it came from. Or maybe it'll be the new self-ironic hype now that this comic has mentioned it.

Even more unlikely ones:

* Is it just me, or is it a trifle warm in here? [uses flamethrower] Nah, must be just me.
* E equals M C squared, commie scum! [sets off nuclear holocaust]
* That's a strawman argument, sir, a common logical fallacy. Didn't you ever take a class in logic?
* That red squiggly line means this word's not in the spelling dictionary, dorkwad!
* You see, with the addition of an inflectional ending, this formerly pretonic syllable becomes propretonic. The consequent shortening of the vowel is known among linguists as propretonic reduction, a form of ablaut. Any questions, [term of non-endearment]?

Partially because three and five aren't one-liners.

[phillipsjk]

According to Urban Dictionary, that last one is already a movie one liner:

1. Battle cry of the Lost Boys in the movie Hook. 2. Jamaican slang defined as a hubbub, uproar, disorder, or disturbance. 3. General exclamation meant to signify approval or amazement.

Don't know how accurate that is because I don't think I've ever heard the term myself.

Edit: wait; point of order: That last one-liner is two words, not one.

PS: the Title text made be go: "Ooohhh."

[zyxuvius]

I can see myself using #2 if I ever become a math teacher. I'd also work in a one liner from xkcd.com/272.

[Max2009]

I've always been worried about the fourth one.
Which is why I always read the entire EULA before agreeing.
Also, some of them know that nobody reads those things and put jokes in for those who do.

[Technical Ben]

At least a high enough proportion of the population will get the "you forgot to carry 2" joke.
Although more would get "install Adobe flash to view this content!" line.