0279: "Pickup Lines"

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0279: "Pickup Lines"

Postby skeptical scientist » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:04 am UTC

Image

http://xkcd.com/c279.html
Mouseover Text: That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's do it. Let's fucking do it and never look back.

Hmm, we seem to be missing some of the mouseover text... Or was that intentional? Like "never stop" without the "stop"?

Edit: the red text was added as a later correction.

My first discussion thread. Did I do it right?
Last edited by skeptical scientist on Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:31 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby arbivark » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:08 am UTC

yes, you did.
it was posted 10 minutes late, and i was starting to wonder.
i have no life.

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Tempoz
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the second panel

Postby Tempoz » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:12 am UTC

What's the original line for the second panel? I got the other two and the title text, but the center panel baffles me.
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Re: the second panel

Postby Rick Rinkov » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:17 am UTC

Tempoz wrote:What's the original line for the second panel? I got the other two and the title text, but the center panel baffles me.

"Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" is the variation I've heard.

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Postby Joshua » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:18 am UTC

"Those pants are very becoming on you. Of course, if I were wearing them, I'd look a little silly..."

"Were your parents astronauts? Cause you look like an illegal alien...?"

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Postby Hawknc » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:23 am UTC

Again, alt-text is the best part of the comic.
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Postby Barbie » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:29 am UTC

Full alt text: "That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's fucking do it and never look back."

The bar tender's hat appears to become transparent in the second panel. Interesting.

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Postby Nigy » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:32 am UTC

Barbie wrote:The bar tender's hat appears to become transparent in the second panel. Interesting.


Dont worry, it's just one of those newfangled hats which are transparent or not depending on what angle you view it from!

I really like this comic, yes, especially the alt-text!
My personal favorite pickup line though, is simple:

"do you come here often?"

works 2.3% of the time, EVERY time!!

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Postby Klye » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:36 am UTC

Prehaps my favorite pickup line of all time is "you're kinda ugly, but I'm intrigued..." though I admit that I would never actually say it.
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Postby Trella » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:37 am UTC

My friends and I used to sit around and just say bad pick-up lines back and forth for literally hours. I forget most of them but my favorite was always...

"Wanna play an army game? Lay down on the ground and I'll blow your brains out."

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Postby skeptical scientist » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:41 am UTC

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" has always been one of my favorites, but I suppose it was too funny already to be used in this comic. And probably not sufficiently widespread either.
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Postby OneLess » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:43 am UTC

Your eyes are deeper than all the lakes in Finland!

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Postby GhostWolfe » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:44 am UTC

So far the most amusing one I've seen (I don't go out enough to get picked up) was:

I'm looking for my puppy! Would you help me find him?

I think he went into this sleezy motel over here...
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Postby Eleven » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:12 am UTC

Yet another comic made of pure win. I hear the most messed up lines (in school, of all places) sometimes, it's disturbing. Like the only way to get a date is to be really inept at dumb pickups.

"Hey, do you know kung-fu? 'Cuz, you know... you fine."

...I'd probably have a drink with a guy saying the third line though. <_<

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Postby Patashu » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:14 am UTC

OneLess wrote:Your eyes are deeper than all the lakes in Finland!

How deep are the lakes in finland?

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Postby blarg(!) » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:29 am UTC

Somehow the idea of engaging in anarchy with your significant other appeals to me. Lots. Huh, that is strange.

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Postby Arancaytar » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:31 am UTC

Eleven wrote:Yet another comic made of pure win. I hear the most messed up lines (in school, of all places) sometimes, it's disturbing. Like the only way to get a date is to be really inept at dumb pickups.

"Hey, do you know kung-fu? 'Cuz, you know... you fine."

...I'd probably have a drink with a guy saying the third line though. <_<


Was there supposed to be a pun in that one? Because I totally missed it.

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Postby Ren » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:36 am UTC

Damn you, xkcd. I've been keeping track of ridiculous variations on pick-up lines on a sticky on my desktop for the past week.
*glare*

"Are you a vengeful god? Because I'm totally smitten." *keels over and dies*
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Postby Green9090 » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:38 am UTC

Oh man, this one was AWESOME! I love thinking up ridiculous pickup lines, but I'm made of loss compared to these.

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Postby GhostWolfe » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:58 am UTC

Arancaytar wrote:
Eleven wrote:...I'd probably have a drink with a guy saying the third line though. <_<


Was there supposed to be a pun in that one? Because I totally missed it.


It's very close to the original, which is just: Are you out for breath? Cause you've been running through my mind all day.
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Postby RealGrouchy » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:10 am UTC

Wasn't there a thread somewhere with cheezy pickup lines? Or at least a few offtopic posts in another thread?

Anyway, one that actually worked for me was this one:
(While going through a box of hardware bits, pull out a screw and hold it out)

"Hey, wanna screw?"

- RG>
Jack Saladin wrote:etc., lock'd
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:At least he has the decency to REMOVE THE GAP BETWEEN HIS QUOTES....
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Postby evil_neanderthal » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:28 am UTC

=====================
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Postby SpitValve » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:28 am UTC

RealGrouchy wrote:(While going through a box of hardware bits, pull out a screw and hold it out)

"Hey, wanna screw?"


Or on a beach:
"Seen any seagulls?"
"Nope"
"How about a shag?"

Isn't it "your sister and me" anyway?

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Postby chishm » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:36 am UTC

One of my favourites is "Hey, wanna make $4000?"

The Australian government is handing out $4000 for each child you give birth to as the so called "Baby Bonus".

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Postby zagga20 » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:39 am UTC

skeptical scientist wrote:"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" has always been one of my favorites, but I suppose it was too funny already to be used in this comic. And probably not sufficiently widespread either.


Ha! i love it.

"Did you die and go to hell...? 'cause you're hot!"
=\...

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Postby Hawknc » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:39 am UTC

chishm wrote:One of my favourites is "Hey, wanna make $4000?"

The Australian government is handing out $4000 for each child you give birth to as the so called "Baby Bonus".

:lol:
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Postby CitizenErased » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:48 am UTC

chishm wrote:One of my favourites is "Hey, wanna make $4000?"

The Australian government is handing out $4000 for each child you give birth to as the so called "Baby Bonus".


please tell me you have actually used that line before! :D

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Postby Xial » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:00 am UTC

The line I've heard for the second panel is: Is your dad a thief cause you stole my heart.

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Postby Hawknc » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:06 am UTC

Baby, are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "I'm gonna max out your credit card" written all over you.


(If that doesn't work for you, imagine Barry White saying it. Awwww yeah.)
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Postby Feste » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:07 am UTC

If a guy ever used that mouse-over line on me, I would marry him. Or at least spend a very fun few weeks in Mexico/Canada with him.

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Postby __Kit » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:42 am UTC

Feste wrote:If a guy ever used that mouse-over line on me, I would marry him. Or at least spend a very fun few weeks in Mexico/Canada with him.


That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's do it. Let's fucking do it and never look back.

Let's go!
=]

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Postby Czolgosz » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:53 am UTC

Good god I had to go and register just to say that the mouse-over line was the single greatest pickup line I have ever heard.

I need to start using it.

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Postby TheTankengine » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:58 am UTC

Let's fucking do it.
be centered
be compassionate
be interesting

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Postby bb_vb » Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:16 am UTC

The best I ever heard was:

"It won't suck itself..."

But the ones in this comic are golden too :twisted:.

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Postby jamessw » Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:46 am UTC

Patashu wrote:
OneLess wrote:Your eyes are deeper than all the lakes in Finland!

How deep are the lakes in finland?

The average depth of Finland's largest lake is 17m, however at points, it can be as deep as 82m. The second largest lake in places reaches 104m deep.

If we look at the district of Finland known as Finnish Lakeland however, the average depth of Finnish lakes is 7m.
~ james

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Postby Rocco » Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:29 am UTC

Best extended pickup line ever.

Alt Text would be what he says in the next panel: "Y'could pretend I was a girl. I got tits."

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Postby GhostWolfe » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:00 am UTC

If some guy told me that he had a "dick like a beer can" I think the only response I could give to that would be: prove it. :D
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Postby pollywog » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:37 am UTC

My favourite only works if you say it with a heavy Northern English accent. Really heavy.

"Eeee, by gum, you don't sweat much for a fat lass"

Even then it might not work.
suffer-cait wrote:hey, guys?
i'm fucking magic

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Postby cmacis » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:46 am UTC

New shirt suggestion:

You think this shirt looks good on me but...(you know how the rest of this goes).


If xkcd won't do this then I'm getting my mate to print it.
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Postby toolej » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:57 am UTC

Glad to see xkcd has a deviant side :}
-_-


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