0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

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0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Dinoguy1000 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:10 am UTC

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Alt: "$1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN."

I din't get the "hammock" one, but the "trimmed carpet" one was pretty funny. And I'd totally go for a sub for $7100. :P
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby iChef » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:11 am UTC

That's a great deal on the Death Star. How much is insurance I heard those pesky rebel kids next door are quite a pain.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Rhombix » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:13 am UTC

Why wasn't this thread started for ten minutes?

Anyway, my favourite line is probably trimmed carpet, made even more surreal by the line "no animals".
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby darkspork » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:14 am UTC

Anybody get them all? I only recognize like 4.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:15 am UTC

Dinoguy1000 beat me to posting this thread by ONE min.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Linkinator07 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:16 am UTC

Anyone else feel like half of these are houses in Minecraft? I mean, square house, door in front...
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Dinoguy1000 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:16 am UTC

Growth wrote:Why wasn't this thread started for ten minutes?

I have no idea, I nearly crapped myself when I hesitantly clicked "New Topic" and then more hesitantly clicked "Submit", only to find that I was, in fact, the first to post the thread. :ph34r:

EDIT: Sorry, Plasma Mongoose? I'm as disbelieving as I'm guessing you are. =X
Last edited by Dinoguy1000 on Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:18 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Hughes » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:18 am UTC

The only one I don't get is the hammock one. The one about Pripyat got the biggest laugh out of me, but that's just because I've got the weirdest sense of humor ever.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:19 am UTC

Dinoguy1000, you are lucky you didn't hesitate for another 2 minutes.
Back On Topic: Living in the city sure looks expensive, I'm only paying $380 per fortnight myself.
Last edited by Plasma Mongoose on Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:20 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby NotACabaret » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:20 am UTC

Happy to see a House of Leaves reference.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:24 am UTC

Is the first $1600 2BR reference to do with all the crazy cat owners they have over there in the States?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby HonoreDB » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:32 am UTC

The most annoying part of searching for city apartments on Craigslist isn't the blatantly unsuitable listings, or the constantly reposted ones.

It isn't the ones that describe themselves as "Northwest Manhattan," then turn out to be one hundred miles northwest of Manhattan.

It isn't the ones where you end up meeting the realtor and she says "okay, the apartment *technically* doesn't exist, but let me show you some real, crappier ones while you're here and try to bully you into signing immediately."

It isn't the ones that look perfect at first, then end by saying "female student tenant with noble blood who can draw the sword from the stone 'preferred'."

It isn't the ones that look okay, then turn out to be requests for a live-in prostitute using codes that get more and more transparent the further you read, so at the top it's saying "rent negotiable" and by the bottom it's just saying "looking forward to showing you my submissive side."

It is the scams. They're copy-pasted from legitimate ads with the rent lowered, so there's no way to tell them apart from a great deal until you try to follow up. Then the owner tells you that she's currently on a Christian Mission in London, where she knows a famous celebrity whose existence you can totally confirm via google, and all she needs is for you to fill out a two-page form so she can trust you enough to let you rent the apartment site-unseen. Or you can move in immediately as soon as her broker in Nigeria gets your bank account information. Or before you can view the apartment, please purchase an $80 credit check from this site that I am totally unaffiliated with but just think looks neat.

But you know, apartment hunting is still a fun experience. I've moved three times in the past few years and I've been sorry when the hunt is over each time.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby MikeStern » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:37 am UTC

what's with the no-floor apartment? You just enter and fall forever???

I also want to live in the one with the trimmed carpet :oops:
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Comic JK » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:40 am UTC

Also awful: people outside of city areas (I'm looking at YOU, Ithaca NY) who have no idea what common rental terms mean.
Heads up: "a 1 bedroom" is a whole house/apartment which contains a bedroom, and a bathroom, and a kitchen. It isn't sharing a house with five other people and having one bedroom to yourself.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby rpgamer » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:43 am UTC

HonoreDB wrote:It isn't the ones that look perfect at first, then end by saying "female student tenant with noble blood who can draw the sword from the stone 'preferred'."

Those are the ones that bug me the most. But I guess we'd all prefer to live in a house/apartment full of females...

The reposts are annoying, too. But I don't notice much spam in my area. Or if there is, it's too obvious or not what I'm looking for anyway.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby jviper360 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:43 am UTC

I don't get like any of the references. Anyone want to explain?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby alzacklen » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:43 am UTC

Actually, "Pets OK but won't survive long" pretty much describes every apartment I've ever stayed in.

I've had neighbors looking hungrily at stray cats. And so on.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:44 am UTC

MikeStern wrote:what
I also want to live in the one with the trimmed carpet :oops:


That one has double entendres galore. :wink:
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby sendai45 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:48 am UTC

I'm not finding anything on the thermodynamic properties of a klein bottle. What's causing the short, intense bursts of heat?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Shiyiya » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:51 am UTC

I understand like, one of these. Can someone list the references or something? :|
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby kanthalion » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:52 am UTC

"Viking landlord" one is a spot as one of the rowing slaves below deck.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Shishire » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:53 am UTC

Aha! I finally get a chance to have a "Get Out Of My Head Randall" moment!
I just moved in to a new place. I have to say the worst thing is the 20 different reposts of the same damn apartment by 20 different realtors. Because apparently it gets rented faster if the only thing on craigslist is 20 copies of that same apartment. /shakefist

I do have to admit though, the ones which have blatant discrepancies between the posting title and the ad itself are really annoying.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby alzacklen » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:59 am UTC

Since when did the places with "trimmed carpets" give a monthly rate as well as the nightly rate? :roll:
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Tsunoba » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:14 am UTC

Well, I got the House of Leaves one, at least. Hopefully explainxkcd.com will have all the references up soon.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Randomizer » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:14 am UTC

I saw the title "Craigslist Apartments" and the only thing I could think of was how deceptive it was when I was deciding where to move. You see this *huge* list of places listed so you think when you get to that city you'll be able to find a place in a week or two at most, but no, most of them are apartment search company listings and not ads for actual specific places, and it ends up taking two months to find a place that's below the quality of a home that you would normally find acceptable.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby d4kila » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:15 am UTC

Ok the klein stairs thing I assume it's talking about a nuclear reactor, but googling "klein stairs" only turned up some architect/photographer or something that doesn't seem to fit with the context and doesn't seem very funny. What am I missing?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Qwerty.55 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:16 am UTC

There's that "Get the hell out of my head, Randall" moment I've been wanting. I just moved into a new place last week and one was found through a friend, so I avoided the whole Craigslist nightmare. Last time I used craigslist...

*Shudders*

Ah, Good times... :D

EDIT: You just know someone is going to post an ad from Craigslist about a "trimmed carpet" after this.
Last edited by Qwerty.55 on Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:03 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Brian-M » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:31 am UTC

$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****

Square house door... that sounds suspiciously like a garage door to me. Is someone trying to pass their garage off as an apartment, or am I just missing something? (I know I'm not getting about half of them. I had to Google the Pripyat one. Never heard of the place before.)
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Rendu » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:50 am UTC

"2BR (one inside the other)" sounds like it would be quiet, but how am I going to get my couch up the Klein stairs?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ManaUser » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:04 am UTC

Brian-M wrote:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****

Square house door... that sounds suspiciously like a garage door to me. Is someone trying to pass their garage off as an apartment, or am I just missing something? (I know I'm not getting about half of them. I had to Google the Pripyat one. Never heard of the place before.)

Either that, or if you read it as "GREAT DEAL * SQUARE HOUSE * DOOR IN FRONT!!!" it's just incredibly generic and tells you nothing.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Dinoguy1000 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:08 am UTC

Rendu wrote:"2BR (one inside the other)" sounds like it would be quiet, but how am I going to get my couch up the Klein stairs?

For that matter, how would you make use of the fourth spatial dimension suddenly available to you?
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby A_of_s_t » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:17 am UTC

Linkinator07 wrote:Anyone else feel like half of these are houses in Minecraft? I mean, square house, door in front...

Anything is possible in Minecraft.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Tyrannosaur » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:32 am UTC

A_of_s_t wrote:Anything is possible in Minecraft.


The only limit is yourself.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby grythyttan » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:37 am UTC

Found this while researching: http://www.bjoku.com/klein-bottle-house-by-mcbride-charles-ryan/ it looks kinda sharp and pointy, like you'd poke your eye out if you came home really late and the light was out.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby teelo » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:51 am UTC

First hilarious comic in a while.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Fixblor » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:55 am UTC

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby TheEngineer » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:22 am UTC

$120/NIGHT ??
26.7 nights/month is a bit optimistic at my time of life.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby JDGA » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:26 am UTC

What, no red for Minotaur? I'm disappointed...
Oh well. Although I suppose the fact that I signed up just to say that sort of says something...
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Ideas sleep furiously. » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:37 am UTC

I am so buying the one that costs $2100
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby dtilque » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:53 am UTC

I thought the klein stairs might be from Heinlein's "--And he Built a Crooked House--". But the "running water, in a sense. free heat in short intense bursts" doesn't fit.

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