0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

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Faranya
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Faranya » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:56 am UTC

Tyrannosaur wrote:
A_of_s_t wrote:Anything is possible in Minecraft.


The only limit is yourself.


And continuous arcs.
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Fixblor
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Fixblor » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:58 am UTC

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Klear » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:59 am UTC

grythyttan wrote:Found this while researching: http://www.bjoku.com/klein-bottle-house-by-mcbride-charles-ryan/ it looks kinda sharp and pointy, like you'd poke your eye out if you came home really late and the light was out.


That looks like something from MDK. That game had great visuals.

BTW, this this has been much better (IMO) here a fw days back:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/more-rooms-rent.php

ashyphoenix217
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ashyphoenix217 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:16 am UTC

Urrrgh this is cruel humor-- I just got evicted and was looking on CL for a new apartment. Thanks Randall, thanks.

And yes, I made an account for this forums finally.

Sumez
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Sumez » Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:53 am UTC

Not writing minotaur in red was a big mistake.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby VelociraptorEvader » Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:59 am UTC

Dinoguy1000 wrote:
Rendu wrote:"2BR (one inside the other)" sounds like it would be quiet, but how am I going to get my couch up the Klein stairs?

For that matter, how would you make use of the fourth spatial dimension suddenly available to you?

It is simply more room for activities! In directions and areas you have never thought about.

So Fixblor only Triceratops are banned? So my Stegosaurus is ok then. sweet.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Monika » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:04 am UTC

HonoreDB wrote:It is the scams. They're copy-pasted from legitimate ads with the rent lowered, so there's no way to tell them apart from a great deal until you try to follow up. Then the owner tells you that she's currently on a Christian Mission in London, where she knows a famous celebrity whose existence you can totally confirm via google, and all she needs is for you to fill out a two-page form so she can trust you enough to let you rent the apartment site-unseen. Or you can move in immediately as soon as her broker in Nigeria gets your bank account information. Or before you can view the apartment, please purchase an $80 credit check from this site that I am totally unaffiliated with but just think looks neat.

Yeah, my sister has just tried to find a dwelling in San Francisco via Craigslist and eventually gave up. *all* people she had contacted had been scammers: "Send the rent in advance via Western Union. You will get the key by mail." Yeah, right. She went with http://www.airbnb.com instead (she was only looking for a room for four weeks).

But you know, apartment hunting is still a fun experience. I've moved three times in the past few years and I've been sorry when the hunt is over each time.

You should have that checked by a doctor :P .
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ModestMouse » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:02 am UTC

$Negotiable: "Whatever walked there walked alone." Just underground water. :shock:

Spiny Norman
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Spiny Norman » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:10 am UTC

"$2100/ 3BR Builder unknown; Centre of house may contain minotaur" The builder is probably Daidalos (Daedalus)?

Qwerty.55 wrote:(...)You just know someone is going to post an ad from Craigslist about a "trimmed carpet" after this.

Like this one? http://honolulu.craigslist.org/big/apa/2326222525.html

$3200 / 1br - 1br W/trimmed carpet and pert fixtures, vermin free, want you inside (can travel ) (map)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-04-14, 9:07PM HST
Reply to: hous-gma93-2326222525@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1BR w/ trimmed carpet and pert fixtures, previous tenants clean. Call now, want you inside. $120/night (no animals)

Kumukoa st at Kukuau (google map) (yahoo map)
•Location: can travel
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2326222525


Coincidence? I think not!
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby illiterati » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:13 am UTC

Hughes wrote:The only one I don't get is the hammock one. The one about Pripyat got the biggest laugh out of me, but that's just because I've got the weirdest sense of humor ever.
That's my favourite too. Actually I wouldn't mind living in Pripyat, minus some complications that would arise. :)
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ß Orionis » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:28 pm UTC

The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby epee1221 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:30 pm UTC

Right now, my biggest annoyance is people posting summer sublets outside the "sublet" category -_-

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby AvatarIII » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:36 pm UTC

ß Orionis wrote:The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!


the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb

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Vnend
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Vnend » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:36 pm UTC

kanthalion wrote:"Viking landlord" one is a spot as one of the rowing slaves below deck.


Except that vikings rowed their own ships; galley slaves were more a Greek/Roman think. Viking's did their own rowing; you crewed the ship and you got to share in the looting. Maybe if you captured someone and decided to enslave them you would have them row on the way home.

MathUhhhSaurus
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby MathUhhhSaurus » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:55 pm UTC

That reminds me. I need to look for an apartment for this Summer. :/ And I absolutely hate it when there are multiple entries for the exact same thing (use same pictures), but the titles and prices are different.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby KShrike » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:02 pm UTC

Randall/Mewtwo wrote:Alt: "$1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN."


I didn't think that Darth Vader was serious when he was talking about real estate........
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DougDean
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby DougDean » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:07 pm UTC

Shoudn't that Ash Tree Lane entry read "Builder: Daedalus"?

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby alexriehl » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:11 pm UTC

KShrike wrote:
Randall/Mewtwo wrote:Alt: "$1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN."


I didn't think that Darth Vader was serious when he was talking about real estate........

Darth Vader was always serious. Dead serious. 8)
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby dp2 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:13 pm UTC

Growth wrote:Why wasn't this thread started for ten minutes?

Anyway, my favourite line is probably trimmed carpet, made even more surreal by the line "no animals".

"Surreal"? I'm not sure you got that one.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby epee1221 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:40 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb

Make sure the landlord isn't allergic to tribbles.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Glass Fractal » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:42 pm UTC

DougDean wrote:Shoudn't that Ash Tree Lane entry read "Builder: Daedalus"?


Shifting walls sounds like the House of Leaves than the Labyrinth.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ProverbialNoose » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:43 pm UTC

Dinoguy1000 wrote:
Rendu wrote:"2BR (one inside the other)" sounds like it would be quiet, but how am I going to get my couch up the Klein stairs?

For that matter, how would you make use of the fourth spatial dimension suddenly available to you?

This.

Also, I'm looking for apartments around the university I'll be going to in the fall for grad school, and one of the listings I came across said "No bears allowed." :shock:
Last edited by ProverbialNoose on Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:44 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

mearly87
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby mearly87 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:44 pm UTC

!!!!! $750 / Great deal on Pinapple. Under the sea. If nautical nonsense be something you wish this is a must see. Close to fine dining

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby AvatarIII » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:48 pm UTC

epee1221 wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb

Make sure the landlord isn't allergic to tribbles.



or klingon i guess. but would you really want a klingon landlord, tribbles or not?

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby darkwing0o0rama » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:55 pm UTC

I had to look up the Pripyat/Chernobyl reference, and wikipedia already had a reference to xkcd!
:lol:

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby tgape » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:04 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:
ß Orionis wrote:The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!


the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb


You try that one, and the landlord will get a lawyer, and the next thing you know, you'll be charged $2 * sum(pet weight) * number of pets. Suddenly, all of those pet hamsters won't seem so funny:

$2 * 30 pounds of hamsters * 90 hamsters = $5400 per month.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby AvatarIII » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:15 pm UTC

tgape wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:
ß Orionis wrote:The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!


the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb


You try that one, and the landlord will get a lawyer, and the next thing you know, you'll be charged $2 * sum(pet weight) * number of pets. Suddenly, all of those pet hamsters won't seem so funny:

$2 * 30 pounds of hamsters * 90 hamsters = $5400 per month.


lol, good point, funnily enough hamsters was the first thing i thought of when making that comment, but mice or gerbils would work equally well,
i'm not planning on ever owning 90 hamsters though to be honest. :lol:

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby DougDean » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:27 pm UTC

Glass Fractal wrote:
DougDean wrote:Shoudn't that Ash Tree Lane entry read "Builder: Daedalus"?

Shifting walls sounds like the House of Leaves than the Labyrinth.

Hmmmmmm... that Minotaur guy; he really gets around, doesn't he? Maybe he should be called Minotour...

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby DougDean » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:31 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:
tgape wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:
ß Orionis wrote:The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!


the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb


You try that one, and the landlord will get a lawyer, and the next thing you know, you'll be charged $2 * sum(pet weight) * number of pets. Suddenly, all of those pet hamsters won't seem so funny:

$2 * 30 pounds of hamsters * 90 hamsters = $5400 per month.


lol, good point, funnily enough hamsters was the first thing i thought of when making that comment, but mice or gerbils would work equally well,
i'm not planning on ever owning 90 hamsters though to be honest. :lol:

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Monika » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:52 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:lol, good point, funnily enough hamsters was the first thing i thought of when making that comment, but mice or gerbils would work equally well,
i'm not planning on ever owning 90 hamsters though to be honest. :lol:

What you plan, your hamsters do not care about it.
Unless separated by sex.
Mice and gerbils are worse.
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby SpringLoaded12 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:55 pm UTC

jviper360 wrote:I don't get like any of the references. Anyone want to explain?

The one with the cats is just weird for the sake of it, no reference.
All the square houses with doors in front are a reference to Minecraft, I think...
The "hammock" is a Viking ship, the tenants would be rowers. I think the same dispenser thing refers to urine, not sure.
The one-inside-the-other one has something to do with 4-dimensional space, some theory in that area.
The trimmed carpet one isn't a house, it's a prostitute. Please do not make me elaborate on the carpet and the fixtures and the previous tenants.
I thought the minotaur one was the Greek myth of the Labyrinth, but other people are saying it's House of Leaves or something.
The submarine is fairly straightforward; it's a submarine, probably a military submarine that they, shall we say, aren't quite ready to part with ("tenants may resist entry").
The bathtub of blood and self-playing board games is either a specific horror movie reference or a reference to horror movies in general; I haven't seen enough of them to know.
The alt-text refers to the Death Star. Watch the original Star Wars to get that one, and because ITS FRICKIN STAR WARS
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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby moliphant » Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:11 pm UTC

Just to tidy up some loose ends to your mostly complete analysis...

Viking ship yes, but same dispenser would be the sky (heat from sun, water from rain)
Definitely house of leaves. (worth a read, if you have not. so good and weird and interesting.)
(you missed the Pripyat reference to an apartment at or near Chernobyl, though others have said as much. Because the living areas for Chernobyl were actually at Pripyat, I am guessing the apartment that is five minutes away is actually the nuke plant itself, or a portion thereof.)
Can't help you on the specifics of the horror movie one, doesn't sound like anything specific I have seen.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby another josh » Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:36 pm UTC

dtilque wrote:Only three bathrooms on the entire Death Star? The lines are going to be long...


And you have to assume that at least two of those are executive bathrooms. Do you think either Darth Vader or Grand Moff Tarkin is going to share a bathroom with the rest of the crew? No way.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ericgrau » Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:53 pm UTC

Dang a few miles further from Pripyat and it might actually be passable. I hear the cancer rates in the surrounding areas are nothing special.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby Scars Unseen » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:03 pm UTC

Finally had to register in response to this comic...

I've just spent the last hour looking through Craigslist ads and imagining them as encoded escort ads. The funniest one so far goes like this:

KILLER KITCHEN WITH STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES
WOOD FLOORS
MANY UPGRADES
cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof

I'm picturing a cyborg furry that takes clients of either gender. My only hope is that the floors are polished.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby TheDoctor » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:20 pm UTC

another josh wrote:
dtilque wrote:Only three bathrooms on the entire Death Star? The lines are going to be long...


And you have to assume that at least two of those are executive bathrooms. Do you think either Darth Vader or Grand Moff Tarkin is going to share a bathroom with the rest of the crew? No way.


I've heard that all those stormtroopers just go in their suits.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby arbivark » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:47 pm UTC

this was a get out of my head randall moment. i've been playing the craigslist game, trying to rent out a room.

Own room, nice house. $300/mo includes basic utilities, internet. Direct TV would be extra. East Washington St location. No pets. No smoking, no drunks. Vegetarians get first preference.
Looking for somebody responsible, personally and financially, checkable references. General theme is peace and quiet. The mexican bar across the street does get noisy at times.
It would be a plus if a person were social, fun to be around. Current residents include one lesbian, one gay guy, one black one white, one old, one young (that's 2 people total.)

Also have rooms $50 week plus utilities at a house I own near new york and rural sts.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby crunchogre » Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:58 pm UTC

so in november, i used craigslist, to find a roommate. in january, he hung himself at work. so i laughed a LOT at this one. you've pretty much summed up the entire craigslist experience for me. bravo!

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby ccaccus » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:09 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:
ß Orionis wrote:The best pet-related specification I've encountered in my recent apartment search was some highly specific pet rent.

"two dollars per pound per pet will be added to your monthly rent."

Makes me wonder if the inhumane get a discount.
And is that weight upon signing the lease? In that case I'd bring along some kittens!


the way that is worded, you could potentially have countless pets for free, as long as each weighed under 1lb


Would make for a very nice aquarium.

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Re: 0886: "Craigslist Apartments"

Postby escudoturbo » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:11 pm UTC

Some nice Houses in that list.


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