0931: "Lanes"

[McClow]

Such a shame he had to spoil the message by using a low form of art. Fortunately, I've decided to make a painting of this comic, thereby turning it into high art.

Screw all the other comments about non-cancer deaths and how rude they were, this guy is the biggest jerk on this thread. At first I thought you were kidding and your comment was a little funny, but as I finished it I realised you just really are that much of an elitist. Seriously, you could have worded that statement in a way in which you don't sound like a pompous jerk.

[Felstaff]

I take it neither of you have read enough Calvin & Hobbes.

[bytbox]

Am I the only one who thinks xkcd needs to sell "fuck cancer" shirts in the sTore and donate a portion of the profits to charity?

Damn I want an xkcd FUCK CANCER shirt...

Somebody, somewhere, is selling fuck cancer shirts - I saw one a few days ago.

[Alixyveth]

I'm a cancer survivor and 6 years done with my 10-year prognosis. I registered just so that I could write this short message to you, Randall. Thank you for this visual representation; it does a great job of explaining one of the more terrifying consequences of cancer in a very concise and understandable way. I still haven't been able to explain my situation to most people who ask.

Best wishes to you and your family. All you can do is try as hard as you can to hang in there. Give your family member a big hug from us.

[Fractal_Tangent]

Speaking as a person with a mum who had cancer. She's now in the 'Lanes' part of it. I am now sad. =[
Fuck cancer.

[Stabbity]

I registered just to say how impressed I am that Randall turned something so personally terrifying into such an informative comic. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to face something like that head on the way he did.

[dp2]

Man. I didn't mean to get Tomo all in trouble. I agree with Tomo that "mundane" was a silly way to phrase it, especially if meat.paste is right and 25% of men will die from it. If it's that common, then that's pretty much the definition of "mundane".

My point was that while I get the frustration of what the stats mean, I think it's best to forget the stats. Spending your life thinking "Is this it?" makes no more sense now than it did before any diagnosis.

Someone close to me had thyroid cancer. She was told only 5% get the really bad kind. Well, turned out she was in the 5%. But then she also turned out to be in whatever low percentage it is that recovers from the really bad kind. It's been over ten years and she's still clear.

So yeah, fuck cancer. But fuck statistics, too. You're not a number, you're a human being who has a life to live.

[philsov]

Such a shame he had to spoil the message by using a low form of art. Fortunately, I've decided to make a painting of this comic, thereby turning it into high art.

I personally disagree with you there. The message isn't definitely not "spoiled" because of the way it's drawn or presented. In fact, I find that many of Randall's comics have a lot more value than pieces of so-called "high art." But I don't have an arts degree so I'm probably wrong.

this guy is the biggest jerk on this thread.

People. XKCD is a comic strip. As such, anything it does is juvenile, a commercial hack, and vapid.

Spoiler:

[TaylorP]

Ah, sorry for that then. I'm not a Calvin and Hobbes reader, so I missed the reference.

[McClow]

:-D

I take it neither of you have read enough Calvin & Hobbes.

Nope. I never read any comics ever. I spent most of my day trolling boards about comics.

[mfranko88]

I've been reading XKCD for about five years bu never bothered to make an account on the forum until I saw this comic. Hang in their Randall. Apparently there are some haters here on the forum (who wastes time to create an account for a webcomic that they don't like?) but for as many supporters that you have voicing themselves here on the forum, you have so many more fans like me who never show their support, but are keeping your struggles in our thoughts and, for some, prayers. I'm glad to say that I don't understand the trials behind you and in front of you, so there's probably nothing I could say that would make any difference in your attitude. So I'll just leave you with this: Your comics are great, and in spite of hard times coming in your life, you still found it in yourself to look at the brighter side of things to help make others laugh and smile. And that's pretty cool in my book. Thanks, and stay strong!

[pienapp1e]

lovely comic- sublime may be the better word. As always, your work is incredible- I'm dealing with the effects of someone's cancer myself, and this visualization helps, as do all your strips about it. Not that life is better, but it's less worse and more bearable. The support shown by the readers also help. I so admire you, Randall, to put yourself into these strips- funny, poignant, romantic, snarky, whatever. Thank you. I think of you and your fiance'e daily, and wish I could do more...

[NickInNC]

Just wanted to say you & your family are in my prayers. (If prayers aren't your thing feel free to substitute "thoughts" in that sentence.) My mother went through chemo, radiation, and all the follow up treatments several years ago for breast cancer so I have some understanding of how difficult and uncertain it all is. Hang in there. By the way, great job with the strip and the highway analogy. Excellent and very clear. And oh yeah, fuck cancer.

[bigmyk2k]

[quote="dp2"So yeah, fuck cancer. But fuck statistics, too. You're not a number, you're a human being who has a life to live.[/quote]

I'm another of the long-time-readers who never registered until today.
I totally agree with the above quote. My dad was given 3-4 months, and lived 4 years (and 4 "major cancer events") before the cure finally killed him. I have an aunt in treatment for a recurrence of lymphoma after nearly 6 years.
I have lost other relatives to cancer, alzheimers, and old age. It all sucks. But, they were all humans, and losing them made me all the more grateful for the times I had with them. Not that it makes it easier.

Anyway, I agree, and I have seen this lived out by those that lost the fight, those still fighting, and those who are just living. You aren't a number, and you have a life to live. If you aren't afraid to live, you won't be afraid to die.

"There is no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life. Now, get on with it."

[tak]

I lost my grandmother to cancer less than a month ago. As others have said, it isn't the only horrible way to die. However it certainly seems, to me, like one of the worst ways to live. In the past few years I've also lost my grandfather to an oil rig explosion (although the cause was the explosion, he lived for several months before the trauma took him) the other to heart disease, and a very close cousin to suicide. He was more like a brother than a cousin.

Yeah, fuck cancer. And fuck explosions. And heart disease. And suicide. But mostly cancer... I had to watch while someone I admired wasted away in so many more ways than could ever be described. When she gave up and refused further treatment, that was the hardest part. I cried more then than when she actually died. And now the most trivial things set me off.

[Strange Girl]

I do feel a little silly posting in this thread. I don't have cancer. None of my family has had cancer. I am 'mundane' as it were.

I also have an autoimmune disease (systemic rheumatoid arthritis) which, while it will not kill me, will wear my body down slowly to the point where I am statistically likely to die 20-30 years before most. It will consume me by inches, breaking tendons and eating my joints and internal organs as it goes. The pain is constant, and will never improve. Every day I exist is going to be worse than the last. I get to look forward to slowly having the ability to move taken from me, joint by joint. I'm on medication (and this has included chemotherapy in the past) that helps, but it doesn't rid me of it entirely. And the medication gives me basically a controlled version of AIDS, disabling my immune system. I can easily die from that at any time.

If this sounds depressing, that's because it is. Or at least, it was for a long time. I am a happier person today than I was before I became sick, now that I have had a great deal of therapy and thought. I realize the truth that life is too precious to waste worrying about what will happen next. I know that barring the accidental, I will lose my knees, that I will be rendered unable to walk, and die in horrible pain. Who cares? I sure don't. What matters is now. I may not ever get to that point, I could be hit by a truck tomorrow! What matters is that I do not let the disease rule my every waking thought, and ruin the time I do have left.

I'm not saying 'be positive!' because I too think that is bullshit. You can't change the progress of a physical illness by wishing it away. The people who tell you that can make you feel worse by implying that the disease is all your fault. However, you can change how you feel about your situation in life to help improve your quality of life. Relish every day, instead of dreading every day. It's not the only choice available, but it is a good one that I highly recommend, and that goes for everyone.

It's hard to look at your life and be happy in it, when you are suffering and facing horrible odds. But it is better by far than the alternative.

[Samik]

Regarding this whole Cancer vs. the rest of the causes of death thing, I'm reminded of something I once read.

Now I have no idea whatsoever how true this is, but I've heard that death expectancies rise each year as you get older, but once you've reached a certain age, they level off. So, for example, a 97 year old has the same odds of making it to 98 as a 107 year old has it of making it to 108. The implication was supposed to be that, as humans, we don't really have a built in death clock - it's just that the chances of you making it to a given age are the product of the chances of you making it from each year of your life, starting at 0, to the next.


Now whether or not this is true, I guess my point is that no one really dies of "old age". Dying of "old age" just means you got old enough that something bad finally caught up with you that you couldn't fight off any more, but that you were old enough that it wasn't considered particularly surprising. As we get better and better at identifying, and fighting, all sorts of ailments, we're going to reach a point (if we haven't already), where 100% of all non-accidental deaths are caused by some known named condition (cancer, heart disease, diabetes... *insert your favorite obscure cause of death here*).

if there's a pleasant way for one's body to fatally break down, I haven't heard of it yet.


I would have to imagine that those in the "this comic is potentially belittling all other ways in which people have lost loved ones" camp are viewing it from something like the above angle.

To respond, I would just reiterate what a few others have said already: this comic isn't about losing a loved one to cancer (I mean, it's pretty clear that hasn't happened yet in Randall case, right? ("knock on wood" isn't a strong enough sentiment by a long shot. Hmm...)) This comic is about some of the unexpected particulars of living with the reality of cancer.

[gmalivuk]

Now I have no idea whatsoever how true this is, but I've heard that death expectancies rise each year as you get older, but once you've reached a certain age, they level off. So, for example, a 97 year old has the same odds of making it to 98 as a 107 year old has it of making it to 108.

I'm pretty sure that it's actually the opposite is true: annual death rates remain pretty constant until the effects of aging start to pile up, and then they increase after that.

[TheGrammarBolshevik]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centenarian

A 100-year-old is 50 times more likely to make it to 110 than a 110-year-old is to make it to 115. So no.

[squonk]

Even if the treatment works and every cancer cell is destroyed, you aren't truly cured. Not when you are never sure and constantly have to worry. Now I feel sad.

You don't "have" to worry. That's a choice.

And this is not so much a "cancer" strip as it is a "breast cancer" strip. Science is at really different places with all of the different kinds of cancers now. A lot fewer lanes for someone with Diffuse Large B-Cell lymphoma (thank you Rituxan! ), a hell of a lot more lanes for pancreatic cancer (RIP Randy Pausch )

[TheGrammarBolshevik]

I personally disagree with you there.

Doubt it.

Such a shame he had to spoil the message by using a low form of art. Fortunately, I've decided to make a painting of this comic, thereby turning it into high art.

Screw all the other comments about non-cancer deaths and how rude they were, this guy is the biggest jerk on this thread. At first I thought you were kidding and your comment was a little funny, but as I finished it I realised you just really are that much of an elitist. Seriously, you could have worded that statement in a way in which you don't sound like a pompous jerk.

Look, this is just bad trolling. If you had realized that TMT were really such an elitist, why would you think that she would be concerned with not sounding like a pompous jerk?

And TMT ain't no guy. She's a space station.

[Samik]

I'm pretty sure that it's actually the opposite is true: annual death rates remain pretty constant until the effects of aging start to pile up, and then they increase after that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centenarian
A 100-year-old is 50 times more likely to make it to 110 than a 110-year-old is to make it to 115. So no.

Welp, there goes that.

The last four paragraphs of my post - specifically the peacemaking attempt part - stand.

[SpookyAction]

This is kind of a coincidence, but our town is holding a "Relay for Life", a community event that collects donations to find a cure for cancer. But I've had numerous people in my family that have had cancer, and a few of them have had recurrences, which is absolutely terrifying. Even when you survive the treatments and are told to be cancer "free", it can still come back. I completely agree with your sentiment. Fuck cancer.

[crontab]

I wish your lady luck. My aunt fought breast cancer, lost one breast, seemingly made it through. It came back, took her other breast, and she made it through again. It can be beaten, and one can keep a positive outlook on life throughout the ordeal.

[rkitchings]

THANK YOU.
For sharing your knowledge, understanding, and experiences.
PLEASE.
Send this graphic to the AMA and CDC.
They are always looking for ways to better communicate with the public, and your visual representation of the complex outcomes of a cancer diagnosis will help many patients and their families.

[uzumaki42]

Ignorance really makes my head hurt. There IS a cure for cancer. It's been around for thousands of years. It's also illegal in most of the world. What is it called, you ask? CANNABIS! Honestly, no bull. Here is a beginners course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0psJhQHk_GI But don't just take my word for it, do your own research and discover the truth for yourself! Many many people die each day for no other reason than the greed and apathy of some rich bastards.

[TheGrammarBolshevik]

But don't just take my word for it, do your own research and discover the truth for yourself!

Why not give us the best of both worlds? Show us the research supporting your claim. That way we aren't just taking your word for it, but we also don't have to waste time groping around in the dark for whatever research you're citing.

[NotThatDork]

Ok.

I'm fighting health problems, not as big as cancer, god (if there is one) bless me. But had my fight against death and all his friends in a couple of incarnations.

First, my daughter was born out of a severe sudden eclampsia, with 551 grams net weight (not to mention that, survival chances for my wife were well under the 30%. Both survived. My wife is fine by now, and my daughter's resilience left behind three surgical interventions and 128 days in an incubator (all of them but 3 I was there --for working reasons--, my wife was all of them, never less than 8 hours). She is 9 months now, still at home with aid from an oxygen condensator, but she'll do it fine, despite risks of any kind you can imagine related to her lungs. But, in fact, some day, she will be a perfect healthy person, except for some twitches. In my family we use to say that "death came with her scythe dull that day".

Last month I almost lost an eye in a perfectly planned surgical intervention for intraocular lenses. I was left with an awful photophobia, almost an invalidating one (sunny outdoors are my nemesis right now, no matter sunglasses), a dubious prognosis and another surgical intervention in aprox. 4 months or so.

So, Randall (or whoever reads the messages in his name, and in the end, you other people fighting illnesses in this thread), I'm not in the same serious situation, but I can account for having dear ones in danger, for extended periods of time, or being fighting myself uncertain situations of the kind.

If it serves for something, while living this period of my life, I found this comic. I wont say that made me forget anything (I couldn't afford the privilege, that is) but really robbed me a smile or a laught from time to time while living the whole process. someone will find a connection, a purpose, a causality; agnostic as I am, I do not.

I understand you all and wish you all the luck you can gahter. If some of you read this as "cliche" really doesn't have an idea of how honest I'm being... And believe me: I can be sarcastic when I want... (in truth... I used to, not too much right now).

Death will face me and my beloved ones, more than once, Oh, man! She will... eventually, we all gonnal loose the battle... I'll choose the ground and the conditions, anyway... that's not negotiable.

Luck.

[NotThatDork]

It reminded me, the whole thing in this thread, of a poem of Pedro Bonifacio Palacios (also known as Almafuerte). You know, we here tend to be quite acid, for the good part, a bit of this wont hurt anyway. Rime will be lost in translation. I left you both, original and english versions (by me, bah...).

¡ PIU AVANTI !

No te des por vencido, ni aún vencido,
no te sientas esclavo, ni aún esclavo;
trémulo de pavor, piénsate bravo,
y acomete feroz, ya mal herido.
Ten el tesón del clavo enmohecido
que ya viejo y ruin, vuelve a ser clavo;
no la cobarde estupidez del pavo
que amaina su plumaje al primer ruido.
Procede como Dios que nunca llora;
o como Lucifer, que nunca reza;
o como el robledal, cuya grandeza
necesita del agua, y no la implora...
Que muerda y vocifere vengadora,
ya rodando en el polvo, tu cabeza !


Don't feel yourself a defeated, not even defeated
Don't feel yourself a slave, not even slaved.
Trembling with fear, still feel yourself brave,
and charge in fierce, already deadly injured.
Do have the tenacity of the rusted nail, that rusted and moldy, is still a nail;
not the coward stupidity of the turkey, who subside his plumage at the first noise.
Proceed like god, who never cries;
or like Lucifer, who never prays;
or like the oakyard, which his greatness,
needs the water, and it does never begs...
Let bite and swear in revenge
your head, already rolling in the earth!

[plnyyanks]

The shear eloquence and poignancy of this comic is profound. It brought tears to my eyes. My heart goes out to you and your fiancée.

[zenfrogmaster]

This nailed it for me as a multiple survivor, and explains what I've been unable to explain to many in the years since. Make it a signed print or poster, double or triple the price with the extra going toward research, and I'll buy several. One for the office, more for the hospital I work for, and so on. Thanks.

[uzumaki42]

Why not give us the best of both worlds? Show us the research supporting your claim. That way we aren't just taking your word for it, but we also don't have to waste time groping around in the dark for whatever research you're citing.

Sorry, I'm not your servant. I have planted the seed. It's up to you if you want it to grow.

[charolastra]

Ignorance really makes my head hurt. There IS a cure for cancer. It's been around for thousands of years. It's also illegal in most of the world. What is it called, you ask? CANNABIS! Honestly, no bull. Here is a beginners course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0psJhQHk_GI But don't just take my word for it, do your own research and discover the truth for yourself! Many many people die each day for no other reason than the greed and apathy of some rich bastards.

No, no, and no. I have cancer. I also smoke pot fairly heavily. All that has gotten me is relieved anxiety, some respite from pain, and increased lung damage from chemo.

[tuxedobob]

Ignorance really makes my head hurt. There IS a cure for cancer. It's been around for thousands of years. It's also illegal in most of the world. What is it called, you ask? CANNABIS! Honestly, no bull. Here is a beginners course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0psJhQHk_GI But don't just take my word for it, do your own research and discover the truth for yourself! Many many people die each day for no other reason than the greed and apathy of some rich bastards.

I would ask what you're on, but I suspect I know the answer.

[SmoothBlade]

Ignorance really makes my head hurt. There IS a cure for cancer. It's been around for thousands of years. It's also illegal in most of the world. What is it called, you ask? CANNABIS! Honestly, no bull. Here is a beginners course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0psJhQHk_GI But don't just take my word for it, do your own research and discover the truth for yourself! Many many people die each day for no other reason than the greed and apathy of some rich bastards.

Buddy.... that CAUSES cancer, not cures... wrong 'c' word

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/200906 ... -to-cancer
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16054989

Yes, I know, NIH is divided on the subject. NCI says it cures it, NCBI, NIDA, and most of the other institutes say that it causes it. However, NCI withdrew their statement that it treats cancer, most likely meaning they messed something up

[iZak]

This is kind of a coincidence, but our town is holding a "Relay for Life", a community event that collects donations to find a cure for cancer.

Whereabouts are you at? I participated in my city only about a month ago!

But yea, been around here for three years now, and it seems that this comic was what finally brought me over to speak to the community (like many others it seems).

An extremely good friend of mine is in his second year of fighting, and treatments were stopped two months ago. Nobody is very happy, but the dude keeps bossing along. We graduated together and I am so glad that he is still kicking without signs of stopping.

My heart is with you guys, Cancer is something which just doesn't know when to gtfo.

Fuck Cancer.

[Tali]

I registered to respond specifically to this.

Today is day +606 for me after my transplant, and day 984 since diagnosis. The 5-year survival for tx recipients with my type and stage of cancer (Ph+ CML in an individual who has had a blast crisis) is, give or take, 20%. To potentially improve those odds, I am remaining on targeted medication after treatment, probably for most of the rest of my life.

People always tell me all about how I'm "looking better" and how long its been since I was "sick". Strangers who I talk to in my volunteering in a Relay For Life event always ask me when I "finished chemotherapy" and express shock that I, and many people living with chronic or metastatic or relapsing cancers, probably never will. They think that I'm better, or in the "survival" lane, that I've passed the test, but really I'm just driving along not able to see a meter in front of me and not really sure what lane I'm on at all. I know that there's a lot of treatment??? clouds ahead of me and a lot of off ramps I don't know exactly how to avoid, but aside from that, I'm just driving.

In these few years, I have seen so many friends have their lives ripped into the off ramp by cancer somewhere after or during treatment??? and long-term survival: triple- BC, ER+ BC, GBM, B-cell lymphoma, and that's just the ones I was close to. A few members of my family are survivors, and several members of my family were survivors but are no longer.

Fuck cancer. Fuck the detours and the off ramps that catch you by surprise, or the ones that you have to spend half a decade dreading before they're dumped on your lap. Fuck being terrified when you're tired or sick or have a lump or develop a bruise or have a headache. Fuck followup, tests, and infinite treatment. Fuck uncertainty, and fuck certainty: they're both terrifying.

To both the author of this comic, and to everyone who has responded here, fuck these diseases so hard. I wish I had something better, or "inspirational" and "uplifting" to say: the road is scary, and sucks, and fuck it with research and being informed as a patient, by complying with your own treatment, by always following up with your doctors/tests/etc, and by giving money to people trying to get rid of some of the off ramps and detours.

[hg00000]

Another longtime reader who registered to give FUCK CANCER a +1.

2011 has been the year of cancer for my family.

My father had a bout with prostate / kidney cancer earlier this year. They were able to get it all surgically, and his prognosis is good.

My brother's wife was to hit her five-year survival mark this spring after her first encounter with breast cancer. A few days before she did, she found a lump on her chest. She had a bilateral mastectomy five years ago. This time, she had surgery to remove the muscle tissue the cancer was attached to, some lymph nodes and is undergoing another round of chemo followed by radiation. They caught it early, so her prognosis is pretty good. She turns 37 on Sunday.

Most tragic is my sister's 5-year-old daughter. In May she started having trouble walking. On memorial day she couldn't get out of bed. Early June brought a diagnosis of an "explosively aggressive" diffuse interpontine glioma, an inoperative, malignant brain tumor that had spread into her thalamus, brainstem, pons and cerebellum. By the time she was able to begin treatment, she had lost most of her ability to talk, walk and move. She had her last radiation treatment Wednesday, and will be on chemotherapy for at least another year. If she goes into remission, she the odds are she will have between 12-24 months before the tumor returns with a vengeance. The tumor that comes back may not respond to any treatment. Five year survival rates for this cancer are under 5%.

Randall, I'm not sure if you read this, but I understand what you are going through. Thank you for sharing this so succinctly. Cancer sucks. Fuck cancer.

[addams]

Here we are; In a big boat, together.

We are a fortunate bunch. We have all found a very interesting and entertaining comic that is written by one of our best and brightest.

Yes. I, too, know about fear and sadness.
So, there we have it.

Here we are; In a big boat, together.

Some of you people are so nice. It makes me glad that I found this forum.

[CrayolaTwo]

My mom got breast cancer in 2002 and it recurred in 2006 or so. The recurrence meant Stage IV, which means it spread, specifically to her liver and to her bones. Bones especially are impossible to get rid of cancer in, so once it gets there you know you have a long, constant fight ahead of you. She died June 30th of this year, so she wasn't part of that 60%, but the way her doctor explained it to her when it first came back (oh, you could live several more years) meant that she kicked its ass for longer than most people expected. She was only 52.

And since marijuana has been brought up... in the last year, I became a bit of a dealer for my mom. Being 23, I have some nice access to quality pot. Pot didn't cure her cancer, didn't improve it either, and it never was going to. What it did do is provide pain relief at a time when she was constantly on narcotics and improved her appetite on days when chemo made her feel like she was crawling out of her skin. It's incredibly helpful and made life better for her at a time when it just sucked ass. I'm for legalizing it (or at least decriminalizing it) just for that alone.