0945: "I'm Sorry"

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0945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jpk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:04 am UTC

Image

Alt text: "You know I've always hated her"

Oh, we're on to pet peeves now? What about "eff that" as a substitute for "fuck that"? Or the sing-song "ex-ACT-ly" (with the low-high-low pitch arc)? Or the state of California?
Last edited by jpk on Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:08 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby phlip » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:06 am UTC

I could get behind doing this...

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby etsisk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:10 am UTC

which is why I've been forced (by at least a minimal desire to "get along"...) to say, "I'm sorry to hear that"... which is just dumb, me having to do that. Sheesh.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Fire Tock » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:11 am UTC

This really is genius. It's very easy to think of obviously, but clever. I like it, and will most likely start using it!

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Tath » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:13 am UTC

Apparently people like myself annoy Randal.

"I'm sorry"
"Don't be."


"I'm sorry"
"Cool. Listen, this thing is really, really cold."

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jpk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:17 am UTC

Tath wrote:Apparently people like myself annoy Randal."



Oooh, more pet peeve! "myself" != "me"

"people like myself" doesn't parse, and so it can't serve as the subject of a sentence.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Lazar » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:17 am UTC

jpk wrote:Oh, we're on to pet peeves now?

I think this is a meta pet peeve (petapeeve?), because it's a peeve against the peeve against non-apologetic uses of "I'm sorry".
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby ryan7113 » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:21 am UTC

Lazar wrote:
jpk wrote:Oh, we're on to pet peeves now?

I think this is a meta pet peeve (petapeeve?), because it's a peeve against the peeve against non-apologetic uses of "I'm sorry".


You're going into peeve-ical paradoxes here, I hope you know what you're dealing with.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:41 am UTC

This is why I say stuff that can't be interpreted as an apology.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Tath » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:49 am UTC

jpk wrote:
Tath wrote:Apparently people like myself annoy Randal."



Oooh, more pet peeve! "myself" != "me"

"people like myself" doesn't parse, and so it can't serve as the subject of a sentence.



I'm sorry.


Also, can you please link me to something educating me? the first result of both "myself != me" and "myself is not me" in google both do just create more confusion.


EDIT: Yeah, nevermind. Later google results demonstrate that you're probably right.
Last edited by Tath on Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:54 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Sir_Read-a-Lot » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:49 am UTC

I agree with this comic!

My usual response is: "I'm sorry, I'm not guilty."

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jpk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:50 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:This is why I say stuff that can't be interpreted as an apology.


Do you mind if I take that as an excuse instead?

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jpk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:04 am UTC

Tath wrote:Also, can you please link me to something educating me? the first result of both "myself != me" and "myself is not me" in google both do just create more confusion.


I can do better than that, I'll educate you myself. Grammatically speaking, the reflexive form cannot be substituted for the ordinary, non-reflexive form. For example, "He beat him up" does not mean the same thing as "he beat himself up". You used the reflexive "myself" in a context calling for the non-reflexive. "I like people like myself" would be a correct way to say that I am partial to people who resemble me in some fashion. (note, not "who resemble myself"). "Randall likes people like myself" would be an incorrect way of saying that Randall is partial to people like me.

But your specific sentence is much worse than this. There is no context (that I can think of) where "X like Y" can be filled in with a reflexive pronoun in the latter slot if "X which resemble Y" is meant. Therefore, I am forced to try to parse "People like myself annoy Randall" as a sentence, "People like myself" serving as the subject of another sentence "[subject} annoys Randall". This fails twice, of course, so the literate reader is left vaguely annoyed by a sentence that tries to be three different things, and fails at each of them.
Please be more careful in future.
Last edited by jpk on Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:05 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Xami » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:04 am UTC

hooray! i'm not the only person who has been forced to say - i'm sorry to hear that

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Eutychus » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:06 am UTC

Worse: "I'm sorry if...."
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby unus vox » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:29 am UTC

As strange as "I'm sorry" sounds, there's nothing better. Saying "I'm sorry for your loss" doesn't really change the meaning; saying that someone has my condolences sounds like someone died; and "I feel bad for you" just sounds condescending.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Thibaw » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:34 am UTC

They do not interpret it wrong, they are jerks who do not think they need empathy from you.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby lly » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:34 am UTC

Wow that's an awful comic. Just... no.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby exhnozoaa » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:36 am UTC

"My mom's house burned down"
"Good."

OR

"My mom's house burned down"
"I'm sorry to hear that. Really, I'd rather you hadn't told me. Now you expect me to pretend to care."


I hate her too.

(I'm sorry I edit so much...)

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby A_of_s_t » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:47 am UTC

I'm sorry this comic stirred up so many latent feelings among you all.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jpk » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:55 am UTC

A_of_s_t wrote:I'm sorry this comic stirred up so many latent feelings among you all.


And well you should be, you bastard.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby mric » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:59 am UTC

I have never heard anyone misinterpret "I'm sorry" in the way the girl does in the strip.

I suppose that if you do a mental translation into "entschuldigung" or "pardonnez moi" you might imagine that "I'm sorry" only means "I apologise/forgive me". However, if you have a grain of linguistic sympathy for the English language you will recognise that it is an expression of sorrow rather than a request for absolution.

For a more informed view on apologies, try listening to the radio programme linked here: http://www.surrey.ac.uk/english/people/eva_ogiermann/ under 'Research'.

For an even more detailed analysis, get a subscription to the "Journal of Politeness Research".

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby jalohones » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:02 am UTC

Thibaw wrote:They do not interpret it wrong, they are jerks who do not think they need empathy from you.


Damned jerks, dealing with grief in their own way! Why can't they understand _my_ needs?

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby SadinaSaphrite » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:12 am UTC

Dear heaven, this comic illustrates one of my biggest pet peeves. I have sent it to no less than four people. By saying "I'm sorry," I'm trying to convey a statement similar to "I'm sorry for your loss," or "I'm sorry for you, and sad you had to go through that." Stop telling me it's not my fault!
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby rpgamer » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:17 am UTC

"My mom's house burned down."
"Whoa. My mom's house burned down, too."
"Really?"
"No."
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby darknut » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:25 am UTC

theres some bad news it wouldnt really work for
"i have cancer"
"i'm sorry"
"its not your fault"
"its nice of you to say that, but i know what i did"
"....what?"

or maybe it works better
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Diadem » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:27 am UTC

Awesome comic.

This is one of my pet peeves as well. It's so annoying when people do that. Randall's approach is one worth remembering.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Marshie » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:43 am UTC

Oh god I hate this too.
"It's not your fault."

I didn't say it was. :|

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Ideas sleep furiously. » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:46 am UTC

Instead of "I'm sorry.", I prefer to say something along the lines of "That's a shame." or "That sucks."
It's far less ambiguous.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby lly » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:53 am UTC

Diadem wrote:Awesome comic.

This is one of my pet peeves as well. It's so annoying when people do that. Randall's approach is one worth remembering.


Try that with a friend who just had their house burn down (or just about any other circumstance that this comes up) and you will be short one friend.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby karanj » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:16 am UTC

Sir_Read-a-Lot wrote:I agree with this comic!

My usual response is: "I'm sorry, I'm not guilty."

You're sorry for not being guilty of causing the event?


( :P )

ed:

just curious, what should you say on the receiving end? "thanks"?

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby dotancohen » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:27 am UTC

Sorry: Meaning "wretched, worthless, poor"
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=sorry

Apparently the word means neither admission of guilt nor empathy. Next time I'm simply going to say "I'm worthless". We'll see how that works out.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Ideas sleep furiously. » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:32 am UTC

dotancohen wrote:Sorry: Meaning "wretched, worthless, poor"
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=sorry

Apparently the word means neither admission of guilt nor empathy. Next time I'm simply going to say "I'm worthless". We'll see how that works out.


I can almost guarantee that the person you are talking to will say something along the lines of "What?".

Also, language evolves, the word 'sorry' has evidentaly changed it's meaning.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby AvatarIII » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:03 am UTC

Thibaw wrote:They do not interpret it wrong, they are jerks who do not think they need empathy from you.


thanks for calling my girlfriend a jerk.... :|

and it does really annoy me when she tells me it's not my fault, it's even worse when it actually is my fault.

also

sor·ry   /ˈsɒri, ˈsɔri/ Show Spelled[sor-ee, sawr-ee] Show IPA
adjective, -ri·er, -ri·est.
1. feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.
2. regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.
3. sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?
4. associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.
5. wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful: a sorry horse.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sorry

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby silverkitty » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:16 am UTC

For some reason, I keep getting this one:

Other Person: "My mom's house burned down."
Me: "I'm sorry."
Other Person (louder): "I said, my mom's house burned down."

It's weird because I've never, ever actually say, "I'm sorry," while meaning, "I'm sorry, but could you please repeat that?" 90%(*) of the time I say, "what?" and the other 10% I say a whole sentence like, "could you please repeat that?" or, "you're breaking up. I hate my digital phone."

I guess something about my voice says, "I don't care about your problems," even when I do.

(*) These statistics are an estimate, or, more accurately, a blatant guess.
Last edited by silverkitty on Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:26 am UTC, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby donquibeats » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:19 am UTC

Take it from me, it's much much easier to just be completely unsympathetic about everything. That way these awkward social misunderstandings are sidestepped by being an utter git.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Marlayna » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:40 am UTC

I'm sorry that the English language employs the same phrase to convey feelings of sadness and feelings of regret.

Yes, I know it's not my fault. I'm not the one who invented it, am I.





But seriously, since my first language (greek) has a special word for apologising, "I'm sorry" as an apology feels rather half-assed. In greek, if someone tells me the equivalent of "I'm sorry" meant as an apology I get the feeling that they may have regretted what they did, but not much.

In English, saying something along the lines of "my apologies", "I apologise", or "forgive me" seems more serious to me as an apology.
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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby AvatarIII » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:56 am UTC

Marlayna wrote:I'm sorry that the English language employs the same phrase to convey feelings of sadness and feelings of regret.

Yes, I know it's not my fault. I'm not the one who invented it, am I.





But seriously, since my first language (greek) has a special word for apologising, "I'm sorry" as an apology feels rather half-assed. In greek, if someone tells me the equivalent of "I'm sorry" meant as an apology I get the feeling that they may have regretted what they did, but not much.

In English, saying something along the lines of "my apologies", "I apologise", or "forgive me" seems more serious to me as an apology.


apologising or asking for fogivenesss != feeling bad about an action

you say "i'm sorry" if you have done something wrong, you can say it is you don't want to be forviven, or feel you do not deserve forgiveness,

to me, saying "i apologise" sounds like they don't actually feel that bad about whatever they have done.

potentially you could mix up all of them and say "i'm sorry and i apologise, please forgive me" but that's a mouthful so you could just shorten it to "i'm sorry"

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Apeiron » Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:36 am UTC

Sir_Read-a-Lot wrote:I agree with this comic!

My usual response is: "I'm sorry, I'm not guilty."


This stems from confusion caused by conflation of sorry and apology. "I'm sorry" is an expression of sympathy. "I apologize" is to accept responsibility.

THERE IS NO AMBIGUITY HERE.

It's a matter of ignorance to think there is. This is what we get when we encourage the idea that words mean whatever anyone thinks they mean. This is why people say decimate when they mean annihilate or obliterate. Or impact when they mean affect. When we conflate meanings we erode their distinctiveness. Then we have to play games to fix what was lost. Piracy is ship to ship armed robbery. IP owners with an interest in protecting their profits tried to make copying without permission seem as bad as murder, kidnapping and armed robbery.

Thou was the singular you. But some lazy/ignorant people started using you as the singular. Other people were too lazy to correct the mistake. So we lost the meaning of you and had to create kludges to work around the loss of meaning: y'all, yous and the like.

Part of the problem is that somehow it's become a faux pas to correct the ignorant and lazy. We have institutions called schools that are designed to remove ignorance, but if you aren't a teacher, do you DARE correct my grammar!

Language is the TCP/IP of thought. It's too important to be left to the caprice of the ignorant and lazy.

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Re: 945: "I'm Sorry"

Postby Apeiron » Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:46 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:apologising or asking for fogivenesss != feeling bad about an action

you say "i'm sorry" if you have done something wrong, you can say it is you don't want to be forviven, or feel you do not deserve forgiveness,

to me, saying "i apologise" sounds like they don't actually feel that bad about whatever they have done.

potentially you could mix up all of them and say "i'm sorry and i apologise, please forgive me" but that's a mouthful so you could just shorten it to "i'm sorry"


You can be both. But they aren't the same at all. Your interpretation that "I apologize" is insincere is on you or the speaker, not the language.

"I'm sorry that boulder crushed your dad" accepts no culpability. It's an expression of sympathy.

"I'm sorry I stepped on your toes" means, "I'm sorry that it happened, even though I didn't do it on purpose".

"I apologize for punching you in the face" expresses acceptance of guilt.

"I'm sorry that I punched you in the face" sounds a lot like "the devil made me do it".

Sincerity is another matter entirely that is independent of the words.


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