In other news... (humorous news items)

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Soupspoon
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:26 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:Saudi Arabia is considering spending $750M turning Qatar into an island just to annoy them.

https://www.vox.com/2018/6/21/17485754/ ... ulf-island

Trump: "I'm the trolliest country leader ever!"
King Salman: "Hold my... whatever we drink instead of beer"

"Dig. The. Ditch! Dig. The. Ditch!"

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:55 pm UTC

And make Qatar pay for it!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Jun 22, 2018 2:44 am UTC

Mutex wrote:Trump: "I'm the trolliest country leader ever!"
King Salman: "Hold my... whatever we drink instead of beer"


Arak?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Fri Jun 22, 2018 7:13 am UTC

What?
Shall they wake up with a wicked headache and a new Island on the same day?
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:46 pm UTC

A man gets really high, illegally. (I bet he was feeling light-headed.)

Spoiler:
And "This could of ended very differently..." in the official tweet about it. Grrr…

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby speising » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:55 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:A man gets really high, illegally. (I bet he was feeling light-headed.)

Spoiler:
And "This could of ended very differently..." in the official tweet about it. Grrr…

"the 32ft (10m) lamp-post"
why does the bbc use feet? i thought the UK was metric.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:11 pm UTC

The UK uses Imperial and metric, hence why the BBC usually gives both when giving measurements.

A friend in university needed our help getting "down" from a tree when he was in a similar* state, he was about 3ft off the ground.

* Technically with a legal substance - basically, someone noticed that it seemed that according to UK law, magic mushrooms were legal when not prepared in any way, this was confirmed to be true, and for about a year they were being openly sold everywhere.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:15 pm UTC

We use feet and inches for people's heights, and miles and yards for road distances, and we sell beer in pints and half-pints in pubs, but we use metres for altitudes on walking maps and sell wines and spirits in millilitres and all drinks in litres in supermarkets. We also sell timber in metric units, so you can't get an 8' 3"x3" fencepost any more but you can get a 2400x75x75mm fencepost. Butter, too. You can't get a half pound of butter any more. 454g is what you buy now.

The change from altitudes in feet on a 1:63360 to altitudes in metres on a 1:50000 for the maps didn't make much difference to what's shown, but it did cost England its mountains, because the standard went from 3000 ft to 1000 m and Sca Fell Pike's 990 m (3248 ft). We've got plenty 915 m or higher but none over 3281 ft.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:47 pm UTC

Oh, You English....
Thank All That is Right and Proper.

Your News is so much better than U.S. News.
Ya' got 'em up a pole.
Ya got 'em ignoring a Sink Hole.
Please avoid Wybunbury Road, Willaston between the junctions of Eastern Road and Green Lane.
Road is currently closed due to large hole that has appeared. @cheshireeast highways are on route but on initial assessment it is likely the road maybe closed for some time.
It seems people are moving the cones and driving through anyway.

And;You have the Big News!
Glasses too small to hold a whole Pint.
Birmingham beer glasses seized for being too small
… that a number of pint glasses had been made too small, and therefore short measures were… been made too small to contain a full pint. "This prompted a nationwide recall
Oh,...The Humanity of it!
If a man pays for a Pint,
The man should GET a pint.
Spoiler:
oh, dear; All Caps.
Am I picking up bad habits from Leadership??
Argh..We are a Monkey See; Monkey Do, species.
Thanks for the giggles.

edit: Oh! Oh! That Sinkhole thing can get serious.
We had one near here. It was fifty feet deep and 100 feet in diameter.
It ate most of a four lane road and a Petrol Station.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

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Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
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Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Jul 02, 2018 4:10 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:A friend in university needed our help getting "down" from a tree

Everyone knows you can't get down from a tree. You get down from a duck!

Sableagle wrote:We use feet and inches for people's heights, and miles and yards for road distances,
Abbreviated to "m" and "yds", while vehicle distances (height/width/length dimensions, usually as a dimension being restricted) may be quoted in metres (abbrv. "m", to 1DP) alongside the feet-and-inches measure. Road signs indicating "300 yds" to a hazard/advisory will often be placed at 100m distance (within allowed tolerances), perhaps with increased future metrification in mind. I tthink there was a spate of metre-(road-)distance signage a while back, but I'm not sure that was strictly to the rules. I'll keep a look out for metre-distance signs next time I'm travelling.

Vehicle weight limits may be metric tonnes (t) on newish signs where they were Tesla imperial Tons (T) previously.

Milk also comes in pints on your doorstep but may be technically in litres in the supermarket as "Semi Skimmed Milk 2.272L, 4 Pints".

(Unlike the French, I'm fairly sure we haven't used metric time. Even the French didn't like it, which might or might not tell us something about something. :P)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Mon Jul 02, 2018 4:16 pm UTC

addams wrote:That Sinkhole thing can get serious.

We've had some near here, too.

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

By "some" I mean ...

Image

... many.

Strange place to choose to live.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby emceng » Mon Jul 02, 2018 5:49 pm UTC

https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/02/asia/tha ... index.html

Unexpected good news about the missing soccer team.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Jul 03, 2018 2:52 am UTC

emceng wrote:https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/02/asia/thai-cave-rescue-intl/index.html

Unexpected good news about the missing soccer team.
That is such Good News.
Makes me smile. Huh...?
Thank you for telling me.

Even though, I wasn't worried,
until you brought it up.

You little Media Outlet, you.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Jul 03, 2018 12:56 pm UTC

Still somewhat up-in-the-air(/down-beneath-the-ground). Contact has been made, professional divers are getting supplies and other necessaries to them, with plans for a permanent communication line (maybe done by now) and holes being bored in the lower system to try to relieve the cave of more water, but they're still flood-isolated from the outside (they're not even on the 'beach' they were hoped to be on as that is flooded) given that none of them can currently use diving equipment (or perhaps even just swim!) well enough to retrace the routes currently used by the expert rescuers/discoverers.

It has been said it might be months before they get out (if the water level does not drop, and they have to be trained properly to swim out), though now they are 'sustainable'. As long as the water does not even more dangerously rise then maybe nature (and relief-bores) will reduce the water levels enough well before that so that they can walk/wade out.

(Or a 'chilean miners' rescue, if they can map the system well enough to create a clearing on the hill above them that allows a borehole into their chamber. But there's big doubts over the current accuracy of knowledge required, not being a miner-mined tunnel system with at least basic knowledge of the practical twists and turns.)

It's not over 'til its over, but they have got many experts on the case. I remain hopeful, but anticipative.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:24 pm UTC

oh....
Thank you, Soupspoon.

I didn't understand.
I saw happy faces.

They, might, be ok.
OK...I'll wait.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:49 pm UTC

https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east- ... o-52-hours

Under the law, which slashed the maximum weekly work hours to 52 from 68, workers in South Korea will be allowed to work 40 hours and an additional 12 hours of overtime.

Those who make their employees work more than 52 hours weekly now face up to two years in prison or a fine of up to 20 million won (S$24,484).

...

South Koreans have some of the longest working hours among the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development countries (OECD). In March, the country's Gender Equality Minister called the working hours "inhumanely long" and claimed it as one of the major causes of the country's alarmingly low birth rates and aging society.


That is not super funny, but when I first heard that, I thought it was a hoax.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:01 pm UTC

"Why do we have such a low birth rate?"
"Everyone is too tired to fuck."
"That can't be right."
"Also, some people only see their spouses for about 5 hours a week."
"That's plenty of time to fuck."
"They're too tired to fuck."
"Are they unfit?"
"No, they're working and travelling to and from work for nearly half their lives."
"If they only work half the years of their lives, they should have plenty of energy."
"Half the hours of their lives."
"That can't be right."
"There's a difference between right and true, and our national working hours can be the latter without being the former."
"What?"
"The law on this is shit and needs fixing."
"Oh. Well, whose job is that?"
"Pretty much yours."
"Right, right. What do I need to change?"
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:37 pm UTC

I understand they also don't marry much; Korean women would have to work for so many hours a day, plus do everything at home.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Chen » Tue Jul 03, 2018 7:41 pm UTC

Hmm I'd be super worried that I'd still have that extra work to do (clearly not MANDATED but if I didn't meet targets I'd be fired) and now wouldn't be able to even get paid overtime for them since clearly the company never asked me to work those hours.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:03 pm UTC

This is a matter of culture; especially the part about people staying at work as long as they boss/team leader isn't leaving (and I suppose they do a lot of useless stuff to occupy that waiting).

Hopefully having laws actually consider that situation (and possibly a few trials happening) should move things about what is 'normal'.

(And then in my country we normally work for 35 hours a week; therefore this 52 hours limit sounds like the Onion).

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby speising » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:55 pm UTC

Trump annoyed that Fake News like to pour over his tweets looking for spelling mistakes.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/sta ... 4805987330 (since corrected)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:49 pm UTC

Sableagle wrote:
addams wrote:By "some" I mean ...

Image

... many.

Strange place to choose to live.

I was looking more closely at that map, and if you go by it, things are looking up. Clearly the '60s through the '80s were bad decades, but since then there's only one subsidence I see, in 2014.

I suppose it could be something wrong with the map, but I'm sure they stand by its accuracy.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Wed Jul 04, 2018 4:19 pm UTC

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/27/scie ... urban.html
TLDR Bee life is City~ suburbs >>>rural/farmland.
Suck it rural america. They always think they're so great, with their "great out doors, and closer to nature etc etc"

Cities aren't great for bee colonies; there's more parasites, intense competition for pollen, and the plants are designed for people not bees. But the data shows that farmland is even worse..for some reason.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Wed Jul 04, 2018 4:21 pm UTC

Same reason there are fewer flies buzzing around in the USA than in Austria: everything's soaked in toxic chemicals.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Wed Jul 04, 2018 5:16 pm UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/27/science/bumblebees-cities-urban.html
TLDR Bee life is City~ suburbs >>>rural/farmland.
Suck it rural america. They always think they're so great, with their "great out doors, and closer to nature etc etc"

Cities aren't great for bee colonies; there's more parasites, intense competition for pollen, and the plants are designed for people not bees. But the data shows that farmland is even worse..for some reason.
I followed the links.
I had a wonderful Time being a Bee.

Maybe, you can be a Bee, too.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/201 ... enses.html

In my garden, I was watching a Bumblebee rolling around in a California Poppy flower.
She was there long enough for me to go get a camera, take her photo and lose interest.

I am convinced she was Rolling around in that flower for Fun!
Do you know how soft and silky California Poppy flowers are?

Imaging being able to throw yourself into one and roll around.
It must bee a Ton-of-Fun! I think she was having a tactile party.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:25 am UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/27/science/bumblebees-cities-urban.html
TLDR Bee life is City~ suburbs >>>rural/farmland.
Suck it rural america. They always think they're so great, with their "great out doors, and closer to nature etc etc"

Cities aren't great for bee colonies; there's more parasites, intense competition for pollen, and the plants are designed for people not bees. But the data shows that farmland is even worse..for some reason.

Actually to me this makes sense. Designing flowered areas to please people is not the same as designing to exclude bees.While most of the flowers in cities might tend to be poor quality for bees, I would expect there are still more good flowers within a foraging area than there are in the typical countryside.

Especially since most of our staple food crops are poor for bees. Barley, corn, oats, millet, rye, sorghum, and; wheat, (as all grasses) do nothing for bees; these are all wind-pollinated. These crops tend to be grown in large fields and bee-friendly flowers (AKA weeds) are excluded, existing around the borders, roads, and residences if at all. Alfalfa is suitable for leaf-cutter bees, but not for honey bees, much less bumblebees[not true as it turns out]. I would expect that honeybee/bumblebee-suitable flowers would be comparatively rare in most of the farmed countryside.

Might be interesting to compare wild (undeveloped) countryside to farmed, and farmed staple areas to specialty areas such as apple orchards.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:08 am UTC

Sableagle wrote:Same reason there are fewer flies buzzing around in the USA than in Austria: everything's soaked in toxic chemicals.

It's okay, I'm sure Monsanto will come out with a Roundup-resistant strain of bees soon enough. And reasonably-priced, too, no doubt!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:18 am UTC

Uhh... glyphosate isn't particularly toxic to anything that isn't a plant, and in terms of human safety it's actually much safer than caffeine (which is, however, extremely toxic to insects and plants). It's neonicotonoids that are killing all the bees.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:04 am UTC

commodorejohn wrote:
Sableagle wrote:Same reason there are fewer flies buzzing around in the USA than in Austria: everything's soaked in toxic chemicals.

It's okay, I'm sure Monsanto will come out with a Roundup-resistant strain of bees soon enough. And reasonably-priced, too, no doubt!
They'll only sell colonies with barren queens, though, so we'll have to buy a fresh colony from them every year.


CorruptUser wrote:Uhh... glyphosate isn't particularly toxic to anything that isn't a plant, and in terms of human safety it's actually much safer than caffeine (which is, however, extremely toxic to insects and plants). It's neonicotonoids that are killing all the bees.

Glyphosate was one place where Avaaz and I really disagreed. Studies showed that oral consumption of large amounts of glyphosate may be associated with an increased risk of cancer in rats, so they got it banned. Now, banned from use on food crops I could understand, but when I used glyphosate I wasn't using it to keep a food crop weed-free. I was using it very carefully to get rid of some really stubborn weeds and, once I'd killed them and they'd withered away where they stood, nobody was eating them.

This thing? Glyphosate was the weedkiller we could use on that. It shades out other plants so nothing else grows on the riverbank, then it dies back in autumn so nothing's growing there at all and the riverbank is more susceptible to erosion. It's deadly poisonous to (almost) anything (except sheep for some reason) so it's no damn use. The seeds can stay dormant but viable for seven years so getting rid of it's damn hard. The roots stay viable if they're chopped up, like how you can grow a carrot plant from a carrot stick, so ploughing it into the ground just turns one bit plant into a hundred smaller ones. It's also a host for carrot fly, so in gardens near where it grows, carrots don't. Also, it causes phytophotosensitisation.

Spoilered for images of injuries:
Spoiler:
Image
Image
Image
Image


Anywhere its sap gets on your skin, you get sunburned really, really easily ... for the next few days, weeks, months or, maybe, 15 years. Fall off your bicycle in t-shirt and shorts and crash into one of them aged 8 and you could be graduating from university and looking for a job while still gothed up to cover all the affected areas, having lived the whole scholl -> high school -> college -> university part of your life without ever being able to fit in with the others in any outdoor activity and having to sit away from the windows.

It used to be that a local with some spare cash could get a bottle of glyphosate and a big sprayer with a long lance, mix up a tankful and go out on a still, clear, summer morning to spray those (Russian) bastards along however much length of riverbank one tankful would cover.

Then Avaaz got it banned from sale. Now we can't do anything about it. Well, someone with a full Nomex suit could go and chop it the heck down every three days from March until whenever it stops trying to grow, or maybe someone could get some thermite grenades and roll them into the bases of stands of the stuff, but ... Yeah, not so happy with Avaaz on that one.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Tyndmyr » Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:35 pm UTC

I mean, generally, if you've decided to drink a glass of weedkiller, you have made a poor life choice. If you're using it even vaguely according to the directions, it's pretty safe. I've used Roundup extensively, and it's really good at what it does.

Among other things, this means spraying is usually a one and done, with fairly modest amounts of chemical use. Other weedkillers often target only specific subsets, and may require multiple applications. That means a lot more spraying in general. Not only is this more costly and time consuming, it means a lot more incidental exposure on average(both to humans and wildlife).

Roundup's really awesome.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Fri Jul 06, 2018 1:53 am UTC

https://www.npr.org/2018/07/05/62612369 ... -literally
Many spiders fly long distances by riding "balloons" of silk, and a new study suggests that they're propelled by more than just the wind.
Electric fields at strengths found in nature can also trigger the spiders' ballooning behavior. And electrostatic forces can lift up the spiders even when the air is still, according to a newly published report in the journal Current Biology. Ballooning spiders have long fascinated scientists because they fly high — they've been found more than 2 miles up — and far. These spiders land on ships in the middle of the ocean, and they're often the first colonizers of new volcanic islands, says Erica Morley of the University of Bristol.
"Although they don't have wings, they're actually pretty good at flying,"

"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can
Spins a web any size, electric fields lets them fly
Look out, here comes the Spiderman"

So a spider can somehow detect electric fields, and then use them to fly high into the atmosphere, letting them be the first to colonize newly formed volcanic islands.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:37 am UTC

OK....
You have Triggered all our XKCD Forum Arachnophobes.
As for me....Mildly skeved out. I've seen them do it.

There is no spider free environment.
Not even out on the open Pacific.

Have you ever seen a spider nest mature and hatch?
eeewww....https://www.bing.com/images/search?view ... ajaxhist=0
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:03 am UTC

sardia wrote:"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can
Spins a web any size, electric fields lets them fly
Look out, here comes the Spiderman"


Original (blame me)...


Spiderweb! Spiderweb!
Spider-man's old spiderweb!
Dangling down!
Everywhere!
Left behind,
Without a care!
To us,
They are completely useless,
And they're a dirty nuisance!
Do something, Spider-man.

Addendum: Yes I know that the Marvel® character design has the webs dissolving. But what if they didn't?
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:06 am UTC

Trump Baby cleared for takeoff during Trump's London visit.

Spoiler:
Image

https://news.sky.com/story/trump-angry- ... sf-twitter
A giant balloon dubbed "Trump baby" has been given the green light to fly near parliament during the president's UK visit.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Jul 06, 2018 11:56 am UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.npr.org/2018/07/05/626123698/when-spiders-go-airborne-it-s-electric-literally
(…)

So a spider can somehow detect electric fields, and then use them to fly high into the atmosphere, letting them be the first to colonize newly formed volcanic islands.

Logic states that if they have had any ability at all of determining the existence of a landing place other than the open sea, to voluntarily surrender their super-pelagic altitude to in a timely manner to escape the high possibility of becoming fish-food (before or after drowning) in their uncounted multitudes then they will hone this ability to a fine art through natural selection…

Yes, if you were adrift in the middle of the ocean, you will likely get inordinately inundated with spiders droppingon your head using their Spider-Senses. A comforting thought, I'm sure you'll agree!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Drumheller769 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:20 pm UTC

So what you are saying is...its better to drown, so they cant get you under the water, right?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:15 pm UTC

Drumheller769 wrote:So what you are saying is...its better to drown, so they cant get you under the water, right?

I assumed he was talking about free protein that rains from the sky. You'd need quite a swarm of them to sustain you though.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:15 pm UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:21 pm UTC

When you start thinking of them as nanotech machines that disperse to optimise their own efficiency and then dedicate themselves to converting disease-carrying insects into more nanotech machines that disperse to optimise their own efficiency and then dedicate themselves to converting disease-carrying insects into more nanotech machines that disperse to optimise their own efficiency and then dedicate themselves to converting disease-carrying insects into more nanotech machines that disperse to optimise their own efficiency and then dedicate themselves to converting disease-carrying insects into more nanotech machines that disperse to optimise their own efficiency, they become awesome.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:30 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:I don't understand the hatred of spiders. If they were giant and lived in the water, we'd find them delicious.


Also most sea food is scavengers. We don't eat scavengers that don't live underwater, but these are okay.


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