You can't sue God..

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You can't sue God..

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:37 pm UTC

Because he has no address.
A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served.

The suit was launched by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who said he might appeal against the ruling.

He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the "death, destruction and terrorisation" caused by God.

Judge Marlon Polk said in his ruling that a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a case to proceed.

"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Judge Polk wrote in his ruling.

Mr Chambers cannot refile the suit but may appeal.

'God knows everything'

Mr Chambers sued God last year. He said God had threatened him and the people of Nebraska and had inflicted "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants".

He said he would carefully consider Judge Polk's ruling before deciding whether to appeal.

The court, Mr Chambers said, had acknowledged the existence of God and "a consequence of that acknowledgement is a recognition of God's omniscience".

"Since God knows everything," he reasoned, "God has notice of this lawsuit."

Mr Chambers, a state senator for 38 years, said he filed the suit to make the point that "anyone can sue anyone else, even God".
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Indon » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:40 pm UTC

I can see the headline:

God Acquited From Prosecution For Causing All Evil On Technicality.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby 22/7 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:44 pm UTC

Is anyone else glad that politicians can use taxpayer money to fund this kind of thing? I'm ecstatic.
Totally not a hypothetical...

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Belial » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:47 pm UTC

According to a courtroom practice professor I had at one point, it's happened at least once before. Someone sued over their dead wife. I believe the defendant was named as "The Lord God and All His Angels".

It was dismissed because "the defendants failed to answer the summons, but are immune to prosecution for such because it cannot be proven that they ever received notice."
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Mane » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:49 pm UTC

Belial wrote:It was dismissed because "the defendants failed to answer the summons, but are immune to prosecution for such because it cannot be proven that they ever received notice."

Good thing Judges aren't Philosophers ^.^

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Fuzzy_Wuzzy.bmp » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:54 pm UTC

"And the courts of man were wicked in their hearts and sinful in their ways, and the LORD stroke them from the Book of Life, so they may forever know the anguish of the Abyss"
- Deuteronomy 35:6

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Decker » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:56 pm UTC

I find this whole ordeal highly entertaining. It's not like you're just telling the guy "You're stupid." You're saying "You're stupid AND wrong."
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I was angry with my foe. I told it not. My wrath did grow.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby clintonius » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:58 pm UTC

Fuzzy_Wuzzy.bmp wrote:"And the courts of man were wicked in their hearts and sinful in their ways, and the LORD stroke them from the Book of Life, so they may forever know the anguish of the Abyss"
- Deuteronomy 35:6
I'm sorry god, but given the nature of generations of mistranslation, the court considers that statement to be hearsay at best. In addition, you have failed materially to produce said "book of life," and such an omission prevents the court from confirming or disconfirming its status as stricken from the aforementioned book.

Also, you're kind of a dick
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby TheStranger » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:01 pm UTC

This guy is a state senator?

It seems like a huge waste of taxpayer money in my book... I hope the guy get's hit with the court costs.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby 22/7 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:03 pm UTC

clintonius wrote:I'm sorry god, but given the nature of generations of mistranslation, the court considers that statement to be hearsay at best. In addition, you have failed materially to produce said "book of life," and such an omission prevents the court from confirming or disconfirming its status as stricken from the aforementioned book.

Also, you're kind of a dick
"And the clintonius was wicked in his heart and sinful in his ways, and the LORD stroke him from the Book of Life, so he may forever know the anguish of the Abyss"
- Deuteronomy II 35:6
Totally not a hypothetical...

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bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Fuzzy_Wuzzy.bmp » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:04 pm UTC

TheStranger wrote:This guy is a state senator?

I find it makes much more sense if you call him a "representative of the people".

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby blakat1313 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:07 pm UTC

Fuzzy_Wuzzy.bmp wrote:
TheStranger wrote:This guy is a state senator?

I find it makes much more sense if you call him a "representative of the people".

That's pretty accurate, unfortunately. I live with said "people" and he's definitely representative of them.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby clintonius » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:08 pm UTC

22/7 wrote:"And the clintonius was wicked in his heart and sinful in his ways, and the LORD stroke him from the Book of Life, so he may forever know the anguish of the Abyss"
- Deuteronomy II 35:6
And clintonius did like to be stroked by the LORD, and he spaketh, "Yes, lord, a little to the left."
kira wrote:*piles up some limbs and blood and a couple hearts for good measure*
GUYS. I MADE A HUMAN.
*...pokes at it with a stick*

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby 22/7 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:11 pm UTC

clintonius wrote:And clintonius did like to be stroked by the LORD, and he spaketh, "Yes, lord, a little to the left."
- Deuteronomy II 35:7
And the lord stroke clintonius harder for his insolence, but, as asked, slightly to the left.
- Deuteronomy II 35:8
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby clintonius » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:16 pm UTC

And when the LORD did tire of clintonius' ceaseless whingeing, he sent clintonius away with a fabulous severance package including beachfront property on the lake of fire.
kira wrote:*piles up some limbs and blood and a couple hearts for good measure*
GUYS. I MADE A HUMAN.
*...pokes at it with a stick*

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby 22/7 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:23 pm UTC

clintonius wrote:And when the LORD did tire of clintonius' ceaseless whingeing, he sent clintonius away with a fabulous severance package including beachfront property on the lake of fire.
- Deuteronomy II 35:9
This is the word of our Lord. Thanks be to God.

For announcements today, there will be a spaghetti dinner in the Community Hall shortly after the service, the Sox are still in the playoffs, so let's all say a prayer for their game this evening, and the Northside United Methodist Children's Choir has generously offered to provide the music for today, so let's all give them a warm welcome.
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Kachi » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:11 pm UTC

Hm, suddenly I feel a nostalgic lethargy.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby RealGrouchy » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:21 pm UTC

TFA wrote:He said he would carefully consider Judge Polk's ruling before deciding whether to appeal.

The court, Mr Chambers said, had acknowledged the existence of God and "a consequence of that acknowledgement is a recognition of God's omniscience".

"Since God knows everything," he reasoned, "God has notice of this lawsuit."
I hope he wins on this one.

It would open the floodgates on lawsuits against God, and they'd be forced to remove references to God from constitutions, etc.

- RG>
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Aikanaro » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:59 pm UTC

Technically, wouldn't you have to define what jurisdiction he falls under? I mean, even if you reason that he's in the U.S. due to omnipresence, he's also in Japan, Africa, Antarctica, the moon, etc., etc.. So it'd kinda like trying to sue someone who was on international territory, or something....and don't even get me STARTED on the extradition process....

Clintonius, you may be going to hell, but at least you'll be where all the good bands are. And I'll probably be stuck there, too, for laughing my ass off at this thread...
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Malice » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:11 am UTC

Aikanaro wrote:Technically, wouldn't you have to define what jurisdiction he falls under? I mean, even if you reason that he's in the U.S. due to omnipresence, he's also in Japan, Africa, Antarctica, the moon, etc., etc.. So it'd kinda like trying to sue someone who was on international territory, or something....and don't even get me STARTED on the extradition process....


Clearly you try someone for the crimes they committed within the jurisdiction. So, specifically the evil, terrorisms, etc. God committed in Nebraska.

Of course, then you'd have to prove that God actually had a consistent hand in guiding things--scientifically, and historically, you can trace events back to Genesis, which would make current Evil Things the result of a crime committed during Creation, which probably didn't happen in Nebraska.

I also think the defendant would have an easy time of it introducing reasonable doubt by way of this "Satan" character, the one with the horns and the unsavory reputation.

On a more serious note, Is anyone else concerned about the precedent being inadvertently set here by the court acknowledging the existence of God? Could this be used in some other court case, one of those things where somebody said "God told me to kill them all"? If the defense can point to this decision and say, "The law recognizes God's existence," then it is very difficult for the prosecution to prove that God didn't tell the defendant to murder.
But perhaps this has happened already. Outside of "Miracle on 34th Street", that is.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby phlip » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:40 am UTC

Does anyone know which happened first: the first attempted high-profile suit against the Almighty, or the Billy Connolly movie?

I'd suspect the former, but it'd be interesting to know for sure...

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enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby blakat1313 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:09 am UTC

If memory serves, he started the case in 2001, but he's been screwing up the unicameral since long before then.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Sarr » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:16 am UTC

Aikanaro wrote:Clintonius, you may be going to hell, but at least you'll be where all the good bands are
I've said this before (Have I? I think so.) There are 3 levels of hell. The bottom level. This is for the truly bad people. Hitler, and the like (GODWIN'D BITCH). Then the second level. This is mostly for your everyday evil - murder, assault, you get the picture. Then there's the top level. This is an ENDLESS rock concert. Well, not just rock. Every genre of music you can think of. Each band/group has their own soundproof room complete with screaming fans, mosh pits, ect. They get some time off for good secksing and the like also. This is where I plan to go.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby The Reaper » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:36 am UTC

Malice wrote:On a more serious note, Is anyone else concerned about the precedent being inadvertently set here by the court acknowledging the existence of God? Could this be used in some other court case, one of those things where somebody said "God told me to kill them all"? If the defense can point to this decision and say, "The law recognizes God's existence," then it is very difficult for the prosecution to prove that God didn't tell the defendant to murder.


Using this one. Forwarding to my lawyer, kthx.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Weeks » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:37 am UTC

So, clintonius, are you atheist?
...
And where is God's Armpit, USA? Or did you mean the United States is God's armpit?

For the sake of on-topic-ness, is it possible to sue something else than a human being or organization?
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby clintonius » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:41 am UTC

You noticed?, New Jersey, and not so far as I know.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby EmptySet » Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:36 am UTC

I move that God be deported. As He was not born in the United States and has never officially been issued an appropriate visa or citizenship papers, He must be regarded as an illegal alien and thus removed from the country.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Aikanaro » Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:40 am UTC

Malice wrote:
Aikanaro wrote:Technically, wouldn't you have to define what jurisdiction he falls under? I mean, even if you reason that he's in the U.S. due to omnipresence, he's also in Japan, Africa, Antarctica, the moon, etc., etc.. So it'd kinda like trying to sue someone who was on international territory, or something....and don't even get me STARTED on the extradition process....


Clearly you try someone for the crimes they committed within the jurisdiction. So, specifically the evil, terrorisms, etc. God committed in Nebraska.


Ah, but how do you define the location where he committed them? For example, when copyright infringement happens in China, but happens on a property owned by someone in the U. S., which is copyrighted in the U. S.....

This is just an example. I'm sure there's other crimes, such as spamming, etc., where the victim/results of your act can happen in a different jurisdiction from where you actually committed said act. Another might be mailing letter bombs...I know, not likely to SUCCEED between different nationalities, but just for the sake of argument.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Solt » Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:16 am UTC

Ok, couldn't they at least put out an arrest warrant or something for him in case he ever does show? That would make for an interesting scene at the second coming.

Anyway, I don't think the court is admitting the existence of God through this decision... they're just saying he doesn't exist in their own way. And if he does, come find us.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby zealo » Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:27 am UTC

if movies have taught us anything, it's that you have to name churchs as co-defendents when suing god.

does this ruling mean it is impossible to sue a homeless person?
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Outchanter » Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:33 am UTC

It always helps to have someone else to blame.

Douglas Adams wrote:In the beginning the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby ConMan » Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:46 am UTC

I liked how the original filing of the case was described:

Attempts by a Wired News reporter to contact God for comment were not successful.


Also, a related case, United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff. Note that the "unofficial account of a trial in New Hampshire" refers to the short story "The Devil and Daniel Webster".
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:42 pm UTC

zealo wrote:if movies have taught us anything, it's that you have to name churchs as co-defendents when suing god.

does this ruling mean it is impossible to sue a homeless person?
Why would you? They don't have any money.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby SirMustapha » Mon Oct 20, 2008 1:43 am UTC

Mr Chambers, a state senator for 38 years, said he filed the suit to make the point that "anyone can sue anyone else, even God".


... in AMERICA! (to quote The Abridged Yu-Gi-Oh)

But yeah, this absolute passion for lawsuits is rather funny. Though I think it only works in America, really...

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby zealo » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:28 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
zealo wrote:if movies have taught us anything, it's that you have to name churchs as co-defendents when suing god.

does this ruling mean it is impossible to sue a homeless person?
Why would you? They don't have any money.


well if you had money, and were about to get sued, then selling your home and replacing it with an RV you travel arround in for a while would make you immune to being sued?
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Belial » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:34 am UTC

Or a zeppelin.
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Aikanaro » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:41 pm UTC

Belial wrote:Or a zeppelin.


Is that why bloggers work out of hot-air balloons? To avoid being sued by news media for copyright infringement?
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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby michael24easilybored » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:03 am UTC

I would have preferred it if the judge had thrown the case out because there was no proof that the defendant existed. But I suppose that's not going to happen in america is it?

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby Jack Saladin » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:42 am UTC

Sure US law and courts assumes god exists, given the whole swearing on Bibles and religious oaths and everything.

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Re: You can't sue God..

Postby michael24easilybored » Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:56 pm UTC

do they ever use anything different if a witness states they're an atheist and swearing on a bible means nothing to them?


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