Bruce Schneier will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

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Bruce Schneier will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Altercator » Tue Mar 10, 2009 5:44 pm UTC

....and run for president of Texas.

Or something more awesome than what he actually claims:
The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Bruce Schneier who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.


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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Woofsie » Tue Mar 10, 2009 5:52 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:She does get around.


She's so fat, her and the earth make a binary system.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Princess Marzipan » Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:06 pm UTC

The first thing I noticed on that page was an Ann Coulter ad. I have no interest in anything that site has to say. =P
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Darkscull » Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:24 pm UTC

Underneath Bruce Schneier's hair is not a brain, but another fist.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Jahoclave » Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:11 pm UTC

Well thank God they're leaving. It's a pity they aren't taking Oklahoma with them.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Indon » Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:24 pm UTC

When Bruce Schneier secedes from you, thousands of right-wing cell groups will join him.

That said, I think it's good that we finally see the core of the conservative movement: Terrorism. Bush doesn't hate Bin Laden, he just didn't want any competition (which I guess is unsurprising, since competition is also anti-republican).
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby psyck0 » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:21 pm UTC

Wow. I had no idea how crazy that dude was before. And stupidly religious to boot. WOW.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Exotria » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:37 pm UTC

I'm thinking Norris is just fishing for attention to provide more stamina to his declining career. The jokes helped pay for his luxuries for a while, and ever since Huckabee he was able to latch onto the religious right. It's kind of like how Limbaugh makes his money by getting a lot of people to hate him.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Sarr » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:34 pm UTC

What. The. Frak.

This... this isn't serious, right?
Right?
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Klapaucius » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:39 pm UTC

Sarr wrote:What. The. Frak.

This... this isn't serious, right?
Right?
You obviously don't know Bruce Schneier very well.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby WaterToFire » Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:13 pm UTC

Interesting filter setting...

(testing: Bruce Schneier)

EDIT: Yep.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby MrGee » Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:13 am UTC

"Removing all the idiots from your country is not the most skillful.
Getting them to remove themselves is the most skillful....young grasshopper."

--Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Mavketl » Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:28 pm UTC

Just out of curiosity, would this actually be possible* without major civil war? Are there procedures in place, or legal reasons against it, etc?

*And I do mean 'possibly' rather than 'likely'.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Jahoclave » Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:00 pm UTC

Mavketl wrote:Just out of curiosity, would this actually be possible* without major civil war? Are there procedures in place, or legal reasons against it, etc?

*And I do mean 'possibly' rather than 'likely'.

Most likely the ATF would do their job. Less than a thousand people will be arrested, and we can finally get rid of Chucky.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Klapaucius » Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:00 pm UTC

MrGee wrote:"Removing all the idiots from your country is not the most skillful.
Getting them to remove themselves is the most skillful....young grasshopper."

--Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Yeah, no. "Grasshopper?" You've taken it over the line from paraphrase to parody.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Xanthir » Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:01 pm UTC

Mavketl wrote:Just out of curiosity, would this actually be possible* without major civil war? Are there procedures in place, or legal reasons against it, etc?

*And I do mean 'possibly' rather than 'likely'.

No, you can't legally secede from the US, and our federal government would indeed classify active secessionists as terrorists and take care of them. It really wouldn't be a difficult thing. The only problem is that, if these crazies *did* try something out, we'd probably have a goodly loss of life, especially among our (Hispanic) majority as these people show their true racist colors.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 12, 2009 3:00 am UTC

They can't legally secede by way of their own fiat. In theory, they could propose a Constitutional Ammendment declaring them to no longer be a state in the Union.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Will » Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:40 pm UTC

When the right-wingers were in power, anyone who questioned the president's clearly illegal actions was branded a "traitor." Now that the president is a Democrat, right-wing military leaders are (allegedly) ready to ignore the commander-in-chiefs orders? That actually is treason, not the kind of fear-mongering bullshit the Republicans shouted for eight straight years but actually legally treasonous.

The Republicans were ready to lynch liberals for imagined slights, why should we be magnanimous enough to let them off for actual crimes?
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Jahoclave » Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:56 pm UTC

Will wrote:When the right-wingers were in power, anyone who questioned the president's clearly illegal actions was branded a "traitor." Now that the president is a Democrat, right-wing military leaders are (allegedly) ready to ignore the commander-in-chiefs orders? That actually is treason, not the kind of fear-mongering bullshit the Republicans shouted for eight straight years but actually legally treasonous.

The Republicans were ready to lynch liberals for imagined slights, why should we be magnanimous enough to let them off for actual crimes?

Because we'd really rather they leave.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:16 pm UTC

Yeah. If it were logistically feasible, I'd be perfectly fucking ok with carving out a portion of Texas for the people who want to have their fucking theocracy. Something near the Gulf.

And then close off the borders completely. With a 100-foot concrete wall.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Will » Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:33 pm UTC

Frankly, I think we should just move Austin to a better state and drop the whole rest of it into the sea.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby The Reaper » Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:56 pm UTC

You can take austin, its full of liberal pussies anyway.

And the conservatives werent the only ones ready to lynch people. The libs were more than happy to do that as well. If you want to get rid of the problem areas of texas, you'll have to get rid of oklahoma and most of the midwest. South Texas is mostly conservative and liberal democrats.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Gelsamel » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:04 pm UTC

Klapaucius wrote:
MrGee wrote:"Removing all the idiots from your country is not the most skillful.
Getting them to remove themselves is the most skillful....young grasshopper."

--Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Yeah, no. "Grasshopper?" You've taken it over the line from paraphrase to parody.


Maybe because it isn't paraphrase and it IS parody... It's a pretty standard joke to attribute random quotes to Sun Tzu. I could be wrong of course...
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Xanthir » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:23 pm UTC

EsotericWombat wrote:Yeah. If it were logistically feasible, I'd be perfectly fucking ok with carving out a portion of Texas for the people who want to have their fucking theocracy. Something near the Gulf.

And then close off the borders completely. With a 100-foot concrete wall.

The problem is that the portion of Texas you're talking about is basically everything but the cities. Remember, our major cities actually *are* liberal! The election maps were *very* clear - anytime you get more than a 100k or so people together, the county turns blue.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby The Reaper » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:29 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
EsotericWombat wrote:Yeah. If it were logistically feasible, I'd be perfectly fucking ok with carving out a portion of Texas for the people who want to have their fucking theocracy. Something near the Gulf.

And then close off the borders completely. With a 100-foot concrete wall.

The problem is that the portion of Texas you're talking about is basically everything but the cities. Remember, our major cities actually *are* liberal! The election maps were *very* clear - anytime you get more than a 100k or so people together, the county turns blue.

Spoiler:
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EDIT: spoilered. damn thats a big picture.

I'm from one of the bottommost dark blue areas.

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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:44 pm UTC

Fair enough. I only said "near the gulf" for the purposes of being charitable. Also, cutting out the center of Texas for a new country has feasibility issues.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Klapaucius » Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:44 pm UTC

Gelsamel wrote:
Klapaucius wrote:
MrGee wrote:"Removing all the idiots from your country is not the most skillful.
Getting them to remove themselves is the most skillful....young grasshopper."

--Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Yeah, no. "Grasshopper?" You've taken it over the line from paraphrase to parody.


Maybe because it isn't paraphrase and it IS parody... It's a pretty standard joke to attribute random quotes to Sun Tzu. I could be wrong of course...
I think you're thinking of Confucius, though he never really talked about warfare.

The thing is, your "quote" was actually one of The Art of War's main points.
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Re: Saladin's Mom will lead ninja army to fight US gov....

Postby Bluggo » Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:46 pm UTC

Why should anyone take the political delusions of al-Malik al-Afdal Najm ad-Din Ayyub ibn Shadhi ibn Marawan's wife seriously, anyway?

She is simply an actress who became somewhat famous because of an internet meme...

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