Edit 1: the act of locking this thread, in and of itself, was funnier than I had intended. Heh.
Edit 2, in a not-so-amused tone: I'm unlocking this for discussion. Keep in mind that victim blaming is something that is as likely as killing puppies to turn on my mod voice, so for fuck's sake, keep this respectable, or I may just start banning people from N&A.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Herein have I posted some of my thoughts on the ever present Victim Blaming (VB) threat and its handling within the forum. I'd love to hear any feedback on this, so as to be able to get the forum better informed and agreeing on the ins and outs of VB.
VB is a pretty regular thing around here, following the fashion of lady like news, this crime gives (every month!) a wonderful mess of bloody excrement. It often ends up in the middle of a heated debate with both sides fuming and a (g/m)od coming down with an all-powerful key to lock away the conversation.
lanicita wrote:This is why you guys can't have nice topics.
Let's get to the bottom of this!
Let us first recognise the existence of those present among us that have dealt with the most obscene treatment from those they thought they could trust. Those that have experienced rape and other such atrocities are well protected here, as they should be.
Hence the willingness of the (g/m)ods to quickly shut down VB so that those with personalised victim stories don't start wondering 'what they did wrong' again.
Enter VB rule #1: Being a victim is never the victims fault, not even partially.
Moving on, what is VB? Wikipedia has a great article on it. To quote, "Victim blaming is holding the victims of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment to be entirely or partially responsible for the unfortunate incident that has occured..."
The forum is divided pretty nicely when it comes to VB. Most of the forumites that have been around a while stay well away from VB, and many when they encounter it, point it out with style!
Whereas most of the pro-VB crowd is much newer, and has yet to understand the nuances of strongly defended concept at the echochamber... *echo... echo... echo...*
Hopefully now with the creation of this thread, we'll have a place to send people to better understand why we act the way we do when it comes to VB, and how to tactfully avoid such situations that cause the anger of the (g/m)ods.
Lets understand a little better some of the pro-VB arguments with a hypothetical rape situation. (We all love hypotheticals!)
One night around 3:00 AM,
after heavy all night binge drinking,
she haphazardly runs out of a local club,
loosing her shirt in the process.
That night she is raped.
Pro-VB arguments on this subject would point out how she's a slut and a whore, how she got herself drunk, and ran around a club without a shirt on. They would then come to the conclusion that the rape is her at least partially her fault.
And that kinda feels like sound logic. She made a course of bad choices, all of which lead up to her being raped. [of course, bad is dependent on the specific brand of morality you subscribe too]
But here's the real kicker.
Who did the raping?
How do her actions lesson the responsibility of the rapist?
They don't. Plain and simple. You might ask if its smart to run around without her shirt on. But you would be wrong to assume that lack of shirt calls for the consequence of rape. From here you can start to see the logical problem with VB.
Now, I sympathise a bit with the pro-VB crowd. I'm a firm believer in reaping what you sowed. But just because you plant pretty seeds does not mean that some nasty weed isn't gonna spoil your day. More importantly, just because you plant icky seeds doesn't mean you deserve bad treatment! It just means bad treatment is its more likely to shadow you than others.
Let me say that again. Those that make bad choices don't deserve pain and cruelty. It's just more likely they'll run into it.
When contemplating issuing a VB statement, perhaps it would be wise to ask yourself if you are actually helping the debate at all. Does anyone need to be reminded that running around a club with boobs hanging out is not a smart thing to do? If its a 'no duh' kinda thing, you commenting on it is probably not necessary, and will quickly turn ugly. Next thing you know you have angry (g/m)ods and irked forumites.
Now, although the anti-VB crowd is generally right when it comes to VB, lets me point out a few things that might help keep the situation a little less inflammatory.
If you've personally been a victim and emotionally you cant keep your cool when someone new issues a VB argument, you are not the best person to correct misbehaviour. A strong emotional reaction (no matter how correct you are) is much more likely to just inflame, than to inform and correct.
Next, currently VB always ends up in locked threads, but it would be great if we could all work against this happening. A locked thread is a failure. A failure to understand and to keep emotions in check. Instead of allowing free thought and debate to win out with reason, it makes the loosing side feel like the (g/m)ods are picking sides. This thread was created to give the (g/m)ods another option before closing down a failed thread. Directing someone to understand VB could allow the rest of the forum to intelligently debate the current issue, without derailing the thread with VB.
Points to remember. (also known as tl;dr for you lazy folk)
Rule #1 Being a victim is never the victims fault, not even partially.
Making dumb choices doesn't mean you deserve bad treatment.
VB leads to an angry forum. Please avoid it at all costs.
slow2learn, a former member of the pro-VB crowd.
Important note! VB is not sexually based only. It can be associated to almost anything, from leaving your bike unlocked and getting it stolen, to being a prick at a bar and getting your face punched in. It need not be sexual to be VB.
[note to the (g/m)ods: I've placed this here because N&A seems to get the most VB problems. I apologize if I picked wrongly. Please notify Jahoclave to take away from my non-existant kittens if needed.]