Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

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Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby JBJ » Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:31 pm UTC

Taco Bell being sued for false advertising, claiming that the *ahem* "beef" is mostly filler.
Source
Spoiler:
"Where's the beef?" Wendy's restaurants once famously asked through its advertising, a swipe at its competitors' burgers.

The same question is now being asked by a California woman regarding Taco Bell's beef products, which she claims contain very little meat. So little, in fact, that she's brought a false-advertising lawsuit against the huge fast-food chain.

The class-action suit, which does not ask for money, objects to Taco Bell calling its products "seasoned ground beef or seasoned beef, when in fact a substantial amount of the filling contains substances other than beef."

It says Taco Bell's ground beef is made of such components as water, isolated oat product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodextrin, anti-dusting agent, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch and sodium phosphate, as well as some beef and seasonings.

Just 35 percent of the taco filling was a solid, and just 15 percent overall was protein, said attorney W. Daniel "Dee" Miles III of the Montgomery, Ala., law firm Beasley Allen, which filed the suit.

"Taco Bell's definition of 'seasoned beef' does not conform to consumers' reasonable expectation or ordinary meaning of seasoned beef, which is beef and seasonings," the suit says. Beef is the "flesh of cattle," according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

"You can't call it beef by definition," Miles said. "It's junk. I wouldn't eat it."

Taco Bell, a unit of Yum Brands Inc., did not immediately return a request for comment.

But it told Alabama television station WSFA-TV in a prepared statement: "Taco Bell prides itself on serving high quality Mexican inspired food with great value. We're happy that the millions of customers we serve every week agree. We deny our advertising is misleading in any way and we intend to vigorously defend the suit."

For many menu choices, customers are given the choice of chicken, beef or carne asada steak as fillings for their Taco Bell products, such as burritos, Gorditas and Chalupas.

"The 'chicken' and 'carne asada steak' served by Taco Bell is, in fact, chicken and carne asada steak. The 'seasoned beef,' however, is not beef," the suit contends.

Apparently, the industry — and Taco Bell internally — calls the substance "taco meat filling," avoiding the word "beef," according to the suit.

However, even that term is supposed to be used for products that are at least 40 percent beef. Taco Bell's taco filling falls short of that definition too, Miles said.

The suit was filed Jan. 19 in federal court on behalf of Amanda Obney of California.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Pterosaur » Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:57 pm UTC

This just in: Fast food does not contain food. Details at 11:00. :roll:

The so-called “beef” concerns her, but she has no problem with the shell into which they stuff this sludge?

Chalupa Shell
Enriched flour [(wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid, malted barley flour, ascorbic acid)], water, soybean oil, yeast, Contains 2% or less of Sugar, Vital Wheat Gluten, Salt, Corn Syrup Solids, Calcium Propionate, Guar Gum, sodium stearoyl lactylate, mono and di-glycerides, baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, corn starch, monocalcium phosphate), soy protein isolate, enzymes. Oil: High-Oleic Low-Linolenic Canola Oil, TBHQ (To Protect Flavor), Dimethylpolysiloxane (An Antifoaming Agent). CONTAINS WHEAT, SOYBEAN Enriched wheat flour (wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, Vegetable Oil (contains one or more of the following: Soybean Oil, Corn Oil) with TBHQ and Citric Acid added as preservative, yeast, sugar, vital wheat gluten, salt, corn syrup solids, calcium propionate, guar gum, sodium stearoyl lactylate, mono and di-glycerides, baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, corn starch, monocalcium phosphate), soy protein, wheat flour, enzymes. Oil: High-Oleic Low-Linolenic Canola Oil, TBHQ (To Protect Flavor), Dimethylpolysiloxane (An Antifoaming Agent). CONTAINS WHEAT, SOYBEAN *Will Contain One Of The Ingredient Statements Above, Depending Upon Regional Suppliers

(Spell check doesn’t even recognize half of that as words.)

Either go to a real Mexican restaurant for an authentic dish with real ingredients, or quit whining and enjoy your Dollar Menu chemistry experiment.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby LaserGuy » Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:15 pm UTC

Dare I ask why a taco shell needs an "anti-foaming agent"?

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:16 pm UTC

I went to an authentic Mexican restaurant. Got some actual tacos (which are much different from their American Counterparts). It was strange, but I had a lot of fun eating it, and I found that by taking the tacos and mixing it with the sauces and side orders of beans I had made them that much better.

So yeah, I'm never eating at Taco Bell again. I'd give up McDonald's too, but I think they put crack cocaine or something in the sauce.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby broken_escalator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:22 pm UTC

Pterosaur wrote:This just in: Fast food does not contain food. Details at 11:00. :roll:

The so-called “beef” concerns her, but she has no problem with the shell into which they stuff this sludge?

Either go to a real Mexican restaurant for an authentic dish with real ingredients, or quit whining and enjoy your Dollar Menu.

Considering she isn't suing for money she is probably more interested in correcting the misleading advertising and making people aware. Why is it acceptable that fast food serve sub-par food and advertise it as normal food?

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Роберт » Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:29 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:
Pterosaur wrote:This just in: Fast food does not contain food. Details at 11:00. :roll:

The so-called “beef” concerns her, but she has no problem with the shell into which they stuff this sludge?

Either go to a real Mexican restaurant for an authentic dish with real ingredients, or quit whining and enjoy your Dollar Menu.

Considering she isn't suing for money she is probably more interested in correcting the misleading advertising and making people aware. Why is it acceptable that fast food serve sub-par food and advertise it as normal food?

I think the main problem is they call it beef when at best, barely over a third of the "taco meat filling" is beef. She's arguing that taco bell shouldn't get away with lying about the product they were selling. I agree. For an economy to function efficiently, there needs to be a reasonable expectation that statements will be true, and therefore it makes sense for there to be enforcement that business don't make untrue claims. Dishonest claims will slip through, of course, but they should at least be true. Calling the taco filling "beef" is a stretch that seems to cross the line.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Pterosaur » Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:53 pm UTC

I agree that all restaurants should be more transparent about their ingredients, whether or not they have a drive-thru. I just find it amusing that this woman is so obsessed with a single item when the entire menu is appalling. I’d estimate that the proportion of real ingredients (flour) to chemical crap in that tortilla is about equal to the proportion of beef to crap in the taco meat. If she’s going to sue about something, it should be Taco Bell’s nondisclosure of the percentage of actual food in all their "food".

Compare the offending “beef” to the “real” meat:

Seasoned Ground Beef
Spoiler:
Beef, Water, Seasoning [Isolated Oat Product, Salt, Chili Pepper, Onion Powder, Tomato Powder, Oats (Wheat), Soy Lecithin, Sugar, Spices, Maltodextrin, Soybean Oil (Anti-dusting Agent), Garlic Powder, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Citric Acid, Caramel Color, Cocoa Powder (Processed With Alkali), Silicon Dioxide, Natural Flavors, Yeast, Modified Corn Starch, Natural Smoke Flavor], Salt, Sodium Phosphates. CONTAINS SOYBEAN, WHEAT

Southwest Chicken
Spoiler:
Chicken Breast Meat With Rib Meat, Water, Seasoning [Salt, Maltodextrin, Spices, Garlic Powder, Chili Pepper, Paprika, Onion Powder, Carrageenan, Disodium Inosinate, Disodium Guanylate, Natural Flavoring, Mixed Triglycerides, Yeast, Modified Corn Starch, Corn Syrup Solids, Yeast Extract, Alginates (Sodium, Calcium And/Or Ammonium), Cellulose, Calcium Chloride, Sodium Benzoate Used To Protect Quality, Not More Than 2% Silicon Dioxide Added To Prevent Caking, Soybean Oil], Modified Food Starch, Sodium Phosphates Soy Lecithin (Used As A Processing Aid). CONTAINS SOYBEANS

Steak
Spoiler:
Beef, Water, Seasoning [Modified Potato Starch, Salt, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Dextrose, Maltodextrin, Carrageenan, Paprika, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Spices, Hot Sauce (Aged Red Peppers, Vinegar, Salt), Citric Acid, Sugar, Dehydrated Vinegar, Soybean Oil, Natural Flavors, Soybean Lecithin], Sodium Phosphates. Sauce: Water, Seasoning (Salt, Caramel Color, Modified Food Starch, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Maltodextrin, Dextrose, Garlic Powder, Xanthan Gum, Onion Powder, Beef Stock, Vinegar Solids, Natural Flavors, Citric Acid, Sugar, Thiamine Hydrochloride, Succinic Acid, Soy Lecithin, Beef Fat, Potassium Sorbate) Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, BHT. CONTAINS SOYBEANS

Carnitas (Pork)
Spoiler:
Pork, Water, Spice (Natural Flavor, Salt, Paprika, Dextrose), Roast Pork Flavor (Water, Flavor, Salt, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Sunflower Oil, Propylene Glycol, Natural Smoke Flavor, Xanthan Gum), Pork Conditioner [Modified Food Starch, (Tapioca)], Corn Syrup Solids, Salt, Sodium Phosphate, Spice Extracts, Carrageenan, Grilled Flavor (Maltodextrin, Salt, Grill Flavor [from Vegetable Oil], Modified Food Starch, Corn Syrup Solids, Smoke Flavoring and Tricalcium Phosphate), Natural Extractives of Rosemary with Soybean Oil and/or Canola Oil. CONTAINS SOYBEANS
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Heisenberg » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:02 pm UTC

Pterosaur wrote:Compare the offending “beef” to the “real” meat:

The number of ingredients has nothing to do with the lawsuit. The offending "beef" is under scrutiny because it's mostly oatmeal. The chicken is not mostly oatmeal, regardless of how many ingredients it has.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Shivahn » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:05 pm UTC

The extreme irony is if they found something to replace the tiny bit that's meat AND advertised it as meatless, I'd eat it.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:07 pm UTC

Pterosaur wrote:
Compare the offending “beef” to the “real” meat:


Good God!

I had no idea you could shove that many ingredents into something like...like meat!

WHY IS SOYBEAN IN STEAK EVEN NECESSARY!
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby broken_escalator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:08 pm UTC

She's probably focusing on the beef because it has the best legal ground. It's being advertised as beef but is known to contain less than 40% beef (according to the article). It's not so much that its filled with crap as it's that its not filled with beef. Basically, they're selling you beef flavored oats and advertising it as beef.

edit: blarg ninja'd like 3 times

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Роберт » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:08 pm UTC

Pterosaur wrote:I agree that all restaurants should be more transparent about their ingredients, whether or not they have a drive-thru. I just find it amusing that this woman is so obsessed with a single item when the entire menu is appalling. I’d estimate that the proportion of real ingredients (flour) to chemical crap in that tortilla is about equal to the proportion of beef to crap in the taco meat. If she’s going to sue about something, it should be Taco Bell’s nondisclosure of the percentage of actual food in all their "food".

Yer missin th'point, lad! If Taco Bell puts weird crap in their food and lists it in the publicly available ingredient lists, fine, so long as the ingredients are legal to use in food. (Hint: they are.) If Taco Bell advertised whole wheat tortillas that turned out to be made from mostly corn, with some white flour and some whole wheat flour thrown in, that's problematic.

Edit: ninjas.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Pterosaur » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:19 pm UTC

It was my understanding that legally, ingredient lists start with the highest amount and go down. According to that ingredient list, the taco meat is mostly beef and water. If this is inaccurate, then yes, the lawsuit is valid.

And I’m not a lad. ;)
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby broken_escalator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:33 pm UTC

That can still be accurate and the lawsuit still valid.

We can assume the beef to be <40% based on the article:
Apparently, the industry — and Taco Bell internally — calls the substance "taco meat filling," avoiding the word "beef," according to the suit.

However, even that term is supposed to be used for products that are at least 40 percent beef. Taco Bell's taco filling falls short of that definition too, Miles said.


So if the beef is <40%, could we not have other ingredients that are close to that same value, but still under it? Seems plausible to me, especially since the next ingredient is the seasoning that contains Isolated oat product. Sure its part of the seasoning, but if there is ~30% beef and 29% seasoning it can still be listed in the format above.
Last edited by broken_escalator on Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:36 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Xeio » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:34 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:Basically, they're selling you beef flavored oats and advertising it as beef.
I don't care, it's flavored delicious.

*om nom nom*

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby savanik » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:40 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:Basically, they're selling you beef flavored oats and advertising it as beef.


Beef-flavored oats? HOLY... you mean Taco Bell is flavored HEALTH FOOD?!?!?! I swear, I've been eating these honeyed oat and granola bars and thinking I was getting a good deal. Screw that. Tacos for me.

Site note: The big CONTAINS SOYBEANS is to avoid allergy lawsuits, not to note it's actually an ingredient - since the seasoning has soybean oil and lecithin in it, if you eat this and you're allergic to soybeans, you could die. Allergy sufferers take note.

Sounds like their 'meat' is to meat what Velveeta is to cheese. Velveta isn't legally a cheese, it's a cheese-like-processed-food-product.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby broken_escalator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:49 pm UTC

I would stick to eating oats unless you need a high sodium diet.

Honestly, I think its funny that they don't even meet the requirements to call it "taco meat filling". Very similar to how Velveta can't be called cheese. It's just funny! I mean, taco meat filling already has that mystery-meat vibe to it and they can't even call it that. It will be interesting to see if taco bell changes anything, though they might as well just change the name since no one really seems to care anyway.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Sizik » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:57 pm UTC

Triangle_Man wrote:
Pterosaur wrote:
Compare the offending “beef” to the “real” meat:


Good God!

I had no idea you could shove that many ingredents into something like...like meat!

WHY IS SOYBEAN IN STEAK EVEN NECESSARY!


More readable formatting would help here:
Steak:
  • Beef
  • Water
  • Seasoning
    Spoiler:
    Modified Potato Starch, Salt, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Dextrose, Maltodextrin, Carrageenan, Paprika, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Spices, Hot Sauce (Aged Red Peppers, Vinegar, Salt), Citric Acid, Sugar, Dehydrated Vinegar, Soybean Oil, Natural Flavors, Soybean Lecithin
  • Sodium Phosphates.
Sauce:
  • Water
  • Seasoning
    Spoiler:
    (Salt, Caramel Color, Modified Food Starch, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Maltodextrin, Dextrose, Garlic Powder, Xanthan Gum, Onion Powder, Beef Stock, Vinegar Solids, Natural Flavors, Citric Acid, Sugar, Thiamine Hydrochloride, Succinic Acid, Soy Lecithin, Beef Fat, Potassium Sorbate)
  • Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil,
  • BHT.

(CONTAINS SOYBEANS)
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Shivahn » Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:59 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:I would stick to eating oats unless you need a high sodium diet.

Honestly, I think its funny that they don't even meet the requirements to call it "taco meat filling". Very similar to how Velveta can't be called cheese. It's just funny! I mean, taco meat filling already has that mystery-meat vibe to it and they can't even call it that. It will be interesting to see if taco bell changes anything, though they might as well just change the name since no one really seems to care anyway.


It can be called "processed cheese" though, right?

Last time I saw a recipe using that I switched it out for gorgonzola and it made it heavenly.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:00 pm UTC

Triangle_Man wrote:I went to an authentic Mexican restaurant. Got some actual tacos (which are much different from their American Counterparts). It was strange, but I had a lot of fun eating it, and I found that by taking the tacos and mixing it with the sauces and side orders of beans I had made them that much better.

I also went to an authentic Mexican restaurant, and loved it.

And, unfortunately, it is the only restaurant in the history of my town to be shut down by the Health Inspector, AND lose a lawsuit from the city at the same time.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Pterosaur » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:02 pm UTC

I remember rumors in the 80’s that McDonald’s burgers had filler, and then burger chains started advertising their “100% all beef patties.” I wonder if this will lead to claims of “38% beef tacos!”
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby broken_escalator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:09 pm UTC

Shivahn wrote:It can be called "processed cheese" though, right?

I forget what they're using now, but its like "pasteurized something cheese product" because it contains milk/protein/fat fillers (theres an acronym for it I'm forgetting).

I'm guessing they'll either stop advertising it as beef tacos and life will go on, or they'll start with 100% beef trend like the burgers and raise the price.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby G.v.K » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:28 pm UTC

This story is actually a beautiful practical example of Prototype Theory

Artistotle might have been a bit off the mark, but at least under his system you'd get some 'real' meat in your souvlaki.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Radical_Initiator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:29 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:"pasteurized something cheese product"


According to Wikipedia, "Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product."

My favorite was always "pasteurized process cheese food," which made it sound like something I should be feeding my other cheeses.

Edit: Oops, almost messed that up.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:37 pm UTC

Shivahn wrote:
broken_escalator wrote:I would stick to eating oats unless you need a high sodium diet.

Honestly, I think its funny that they don't even meet the requirements to call it "taco meat filling". Very similar to how Velveta can't be called cheese. It's just funny! I mean, taco meat filling already has that mystery-meat vibe to it and they can't even call it that. It will be interesting to see if taco bell changes anything, though they might as well just change the name since no one really seems to care anyway.


It can be called "processed cheese" though, right?

Last time I saw a recipe using that I switched it out for gorgonzola and it made it heavenly.


I would hope velveeta is considered somewhat of a d'var khadash by the government.

(For my Goy friends here, a d'var Khadash is a modern american Jewish concept that once a non-kosher item is sufficiently processed it becomes a "new thing" and is thus kosher. See: pork marshmallows)
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:39 pm UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:My favorite was always "pasteurized process cheese food," which made it sound like something I should be feeding my other cheeses.


That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:44 pm UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:
broken_escalator wrote:"pasteurized something cheese product"


According to Wikipedia, "Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product."

My favorite was always "pasteurized process cheese food," which made it sound like something I should be feeding my other cheeses.

Edit: Oops, almost messed that up.


If it's processed cheese food it sounds like it's something you'd feed to cheeses you don't like.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Radical_Initiator » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:45 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:
Radical_Initiator wrote:My favorite was always "pasteurized process cheese food," which made it sound like something I should be feeding my other cheeses.


That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:57 pm UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:
Radical_Initiator wrote:My favorite was always "pasteurized process cheese food," which made it sound like something I should be feeding my other cheeses.


That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


In the end, there can be only one?


Not according to John Cleese:

Spoiler:
Customer: Good Morning.

Wenslydale: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Wenslydale: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly
came over all peckish.

Wenslydale: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Wenslydale: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Wenslydale: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated
your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Wenslydale: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Wenslydale: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Wenslydale: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Wenslydale: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Wenslydale: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Wenslydale: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Wenslydale: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Wenslydale: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Wenslydale: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Wenslydale: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Wenslydale: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Wenslydale: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Wenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Wenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Wenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Wenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Wenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!

Customer: What now?

Wenslydale: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Wenslydale: She, sir.

(pause)

Customer: Gouda?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Edam?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Wenslydale: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Wenslydale: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Wenslydale: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Wenslydale: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Wenslydale: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

(pause)

Customer: Greek Feta?

Wenslydale: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Wenslydale: Not *today*, sir, no.

(pause)

Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Wenslydale: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Wenslydale: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Wenslydale: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Wenslydale: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Wenslydale: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Wenslydale: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Wenslydale: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Wenslydale: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Wenslydale: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Wenslydale: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Wenslydale: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Wenslydale: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me

Wenslydale: Yessir?

Customer: Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Wenslydale: Yes,sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause) Wenslydale: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Wenslydale: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Wenslydale: Right-o, sir.

The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner.

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.
Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:59 pm UTC

Pterosaur wrote:I remember rumors in the 80’s that McDonald’s burgers had filler, and then burger chains started advertising their “100% all beef patties.” I wonder if this will lead to claims of “38% beef tacos!”


The new rumor is that they call them that because the company that gives them the burgers is called '100% all beef patties'.

In any case, I don't really trust them on that count...
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:My moral system allows me to bitch slap you for typing that.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby bentheimmigrant » Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:02 pm UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


In the end, there can be only one?
There is only one Cheese. Everybody knows that.
>_>

I myself find it refreshing that she's not suing for money.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Bright Shadows » Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:11 pm UTC

bentheimmigrant wrote:
Radical_Initiator wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


In the end, there can be only one?
There is only one Cheese. Everybody knows that.
>_>

I myself find it refreshing that she's not suing for money.

Yeah, that was a pleasant surprise.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Pterosaur » Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:30 pm UTC

Triangle_Man wrote:The new rumor is that they call them that because the company that gives them the burgers is called '100% all beef patties'.


By that logic, Taco Bell can say that “Beef* Taco” is a brand name, not a description.

*beef-flavored oat product

CorruptUser wrote:That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


An epic battle between Brie, Gouda, and Swiss just played out in my mind. Thanks for that. :lol:
Until you stalk and overrun,
You can't devour anyone.
--Hobbes

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:26 am UTC

Pterosaur wrote:
Triangle_Man wrote:The new rumor is that they call them that because the company that gives them the burgers is called '100% all beef patties'.


By that logic, Taco Bell can say that “Beef* Taco” is a brand name, not a description.

*beef-flavored oat product

CorruptUser wrote:That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


An epic battle between Brie, Gouda, and Swiss just played out in my mind. Thanks for that. :lol:


But, of course, Venezuelan Beaver Cheese wins.
Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby savanik » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:50 am UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
Pterosaur wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:That's how they make cheese over in France and Italy, with the stronger and more pungent cheeses devouring other, weaker cheese.


An epic battle between Brie, Gouda, and Swiss just played out in my mind. Thanks for that. :lol:


But, of course, Venezuelan Beaver Cheese wins.


I'm afraid I must ask the burning question on my mind:

How do you milk a beaver? Or is this 'beaver cheese' in the way that 'head cheese' is cheese, i.e. not at all?

P.S. Breaking news update! Taco Bell still delicious. *om nom nom*
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Duban » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:57 am UTC

This video by the onion comes to mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyXC4kyY-s0
It is not the gods I fear. No, It is those who claim to speak for them that concern me.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:12 am UTC

Duban wrote:This video by the onion comes to mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyXC4kyY-s0


Duban get out of my head. I was just thinking of that.

Also: when the onion nigh-accurately predicts news, you have a problem.
Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby Princess Marzipan » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:25 am UTC

That's...not exactly what happened here.
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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby sourmìlk » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:29 am UTC

Princess Marzipan wrote:That's...not exactly what happened here.


Fair enough, but the outrageous satire is still too close to reality for my comfort.
Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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Re: Where's the beef? Not Taco Bell.

Postby achan1058 » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:33 am UTC

Pterosaur wrote:This just in: Fast food does not contain food. Details at 11:00. :roll:

The so-called “beef” concerns her, but she has no problem with the shell into which they stuff this sludge?

Chalupa Shell
Enriched flour [(wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid, malted barley flour, ascorbic acid)], water, soybean oil, yeast, Contains 2% or less of Sugar, Vital Wheat Gluten, Salt, Corn Syrup Solids, Calcium Propionate, Guar Gum, sodium stearoyl lactylate, mono and di-glycerides, baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, corn starch, monocalcium phosphate), soy protein isolate, enzymes. Oil: High-Oleic Low-Linolenic Canola Oil, TBHQ (To Protect Flavor), Dimethylpolysiloxane (An Antifoaming Agent). CONTAINS WHEAT, SOYBEAN Enriched wheat flour (wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, Vegetable Oil (contains one or more of the following: Soybean Oil, Corn Oil) with TBHQ and Citric Acid added as preservative, yeast, sugar, vital wheat gluten, salt, corn syrup solids, calcium propionate, guar gum, sodium stearoyl lactylate, mono and di-glycerides, baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, corn starch, monocalcium phosphate), soy protein, wheat flour, enzymes. Oil: High-Oleic Low-Linolenic Canola Oil, TBHQ (To Protect Flavor), Dimethylpolysiloxane (An Antifoaming Agent). CONTAINS WHEAT, SOYBEAN *Will Contain One Of The Ingredient Statements Above, Depending Upon Regional Suppliers

(Spell check doesn’t even recognize half of that as words.)

Either go to a real Mexican restaurant for an authentic dish with real ingredients, or quit whining and enjoy your Dollar Menu chemistry experiment.
And why is this list of ingredients surprising? They look quite normal to me for the most part. While I don't understand all the terms, it's not hard to dig them up. Most of the ingredients here are in small amounts anyways. And is there a reason why the list of ingredients duplicated? If there's anything I really want to complain, it's that they should have also put down the percentage by weight, or similar, which would have solved the problem. To be perfectly honest, I don't understand why the list of ingredients is necessary, or the mentioning of anything other than wheat or oat in the lawsuit. Maybe it's to abuse people's fear and paranoia in chemicals? Who knows, but I don't think that's a very nice thing to do. On the other hand, selling oat tacos and claiming them to be beef tacos isn't very nice neither.

P.S. Spell check in general doesn't work very well with chemical terms, even if it is dihydrogen monoxide.


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