In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Sat Sep 10, 2011 3:45 am UTC

Man asks his neighbors if he can dispose of a body in their trash can.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/09/09/washington.body.in.trash/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Sep 10, 2011 4:56 pm UTC

Computer invents psychohistory.

Sorry, Hari Seldon, someone beat you to it.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Cathy » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:02 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Computer invents psychohistory.

Sorry, Hari Seldon, someone beat you to it.

...Oh wow, I hadn't even looked at it like that. LMAO!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:14 pm UTC

Interpreting news stories in a science fiction context... brought to you by the xkcd forums.

It's kind of awesome, living in the future.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:24 pm UTC

They invented the Oracle. How many years do we have left before it engineers the collapse of all the world superpowers?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby broken_escalator » Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:10 am UTC

This isn't funny, but its news that doesn't warrant its own thread imo... anyway, Saturn In Front Of The Sun: Cassini Spacecraft Captures Breathtaking View Of Ringed Planet, you can click the Nasa link on that page if you want a high-resolution version of the picture.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Aikanaro » Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:18 am UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:They invented the Oracle. How many years do we have left before it engineers the collapse of all the world superpowers?

As long as it doesn't evolve into AM, I'm fine with it. (Warning, link contains high octane nightmare fuel, if you're not familiar with the story already).
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:40 am UTC

broken_escalator wrote:This isn't funny, but its news that doesn't warrant its own thread imo... anyway, Saturn In Front Of The Sun: Cassini Spacecraft Captures Breathtaking View Of Ringed Planet, you can click the Nasa link on that page if you want a high-resolution version of the picture.

Thanks for giving me a new desktop wallpaper :D

Edit: oh god the comment section makes me want to tear my eyes out.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:29 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:This isn't funny, but its news that doesn't warrant its own thread imo... anyway, Saturn In Front Of The Sun: Cassini Spacecraft Captures Breathtaking View Of Ringed Planet, you can click the Nasa link on that page if you want a high-resolution version of the picture.

That was wonderful! It made me laugh. So, pretty!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jessica » Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:41 pm UTC

The internet is not for porn?
4% of the most popular 1 million websites are porn. I'm reading the article now, and a feministe blog entry about it as well (where I got the link). But I thought you'd enjoy seeing it anyway. I hope it hasn't been posted yet...
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:27 pm UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Decker » Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:49 pm UTC

Skynet seeks idle computers to sort through astronomical data
So, they want to turn over everyone's spare processing power to Skynet. Not ominous sounding at all!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Steax » Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:14 am UTC



I'm honestly quite baffled about that article. So the only supporting study involves 1 subject and 1 experiment, while there are hundreds of people there who wish their problem was recognized?

Also, it's amusing that someone actually thought of building a Faraday cage.

The image of "the biggest steerable radio telescope" there amuses me. It's as if the article were nudging people into realizing that the government (coughcough) could "steer" it in the direction of these "refugees" and blow their minds away.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby mmmcannibalism » Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:50 am UTC



My state is good for something; that is largely possible because of how backwards we are...
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Magnanimous » Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:02 am UTC

mmmcannibalism wrote:


My state is good for something; that is largely possible because of how backwards we are...

I did think it was interesting that the person in that study consistently responded to electromagnetic waves. But it sounds way too much like the nocebo effect: the body might be able to detect small amounts of EMI, and it trained itself to feel sick.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:21 am UTC

The part that sticks out to me as particularly indicative of it being psychosomatic was when she said she could turn her symptoms on and off by turning a television on and off.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Wed Sep 14, 2011 8:12 am UTC

Magnanimous wrote:
mmmcannibalism wrote:


My state is good for something; that is largely possible because of how backwards we are...

I did think it was interesting that the person in that study consistently responded to electromagnetic waves. But it sounds way too much like the nocebo effect: the body might be able to detect small amounts of EMI, and it trained itself to feel sick.
If you look at the wikipedia article on EHS, it cites several studies and double-blind studies, which have varying results (some with positive results being unable to be reproduced, or having flawed methodology).
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed Sep 14, 2011 8:28 pm UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby broken_escalator » Wed Sep 14, 2011 8:43 pm UTC

That headline is just... wow. :shock:

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Rodion Raskolnikov » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:02 pm UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:You just can't make up headlines like that.


I think the key words from that story are "according to UK tabloid The Sunday Sport". If your not familiar with this paper, it is well known for making stuff up. So it probably didn't happen. Certainly an eye-catching headline though.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:06 pm UTC

Shoot, I'm so used to ignoring subtitles I didn't even notice that.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby M1k3_Nix » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:09 pm UTC

http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=159187822

a little odd at the very least. mind you, at least he asked permission.



and for anyone that is remotely interested in Star Wars http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14940885
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby rigwarl » Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:57 pm UTC

M1k3_Nix wrote:http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=159187822

a little odd at the very least. mind you, at least he asked permission.



WHOA, we made news in the UK!

"An elderly woman told Conway police that a man approached her while she was sitting outside her apartment and put her toes in his mouth." Does not sound like asking for permission to me.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby M1k3_Nix » Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:10 pm UTC

rigwarl wrote:
M1k3_Nix wrote:http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=159187822

a little odd at the very least. mind you, at least he asked permission.



WHOA, we made news in the UK!

"An elderly woman told Conway police that a man approached her while she was sitting outside her apartment and put her toes in his mouth." Does not sound like asking for permission to me.


ok, I'll rephrase; asks for permission occasionally. "Another woman said a man asked to suck her toes in a discount store."

And by "we made the news in the UK", i hope your not admitting to being part of a notorious random person toe sucking club :wink:
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:33 pm UTC

M1k3_Nix wrote:And by "we made the news in the UK", i hope your not admitting to being part of a notorious random person toe sucking club :wink:


That reminds me of the Groper Brotherhood in Japan.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby rigwarl » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:42 pm UTC

M1k3_Nix wrote:And by "we made the news in the UK", i hope your not admitting to being part of a notorious random person toe sucking club :wink:


Hah, my area is not very populated so this is a very rare event. One of my friends met the guy, so "I know someone who knows someone who made UK news" for me, basically. Shush, all you cityfolk

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Lostdreams » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:57 pm UTC

Did he suck your friend's toes?
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TrlstanC wrote:But, I'm still curious, did no one else ever learn about creationism in science class at some point, at least those who went to public school?

Sorry, we just learned science.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:18 pm UTC

This doesn't really deserve it's own thread, but it's also not funny in spite of the New York Post's attempt to frame it as such.

Greek Businessman Lights Himself on Fire After Being Refused Loan Renegotiation By Bankers

Spoiler:
This is the fiery face of Greece’s financial crisis.
A small-business owner, unable to pay off bank loans that have plagued him for months, set himself on fire yesterday -- his third attempt, authorities said.
The unidentified 56-year-old went to a Piraeus Bank branch in Thessaloniki in northern Greece and tried to renegotiate payments on loans he had taken out on his home and failing business, police said.
When bank officials refused, the man went outside, doused himself with gasoline from a can and set his clothing on fire -- as he shouted that he was in debt.

Police rushed to the scene to put out the blaze with fire extinguishers and saved his life.
He was hospitalized with chest burns, and is expected to survive, authorities said.
Authorities said it was the third time he set himself on fire, including once 15 months ago when he also suffered burns, after complaining that he couldn’t pay off his outstanding loans.

Greece’s government, seeking its own loans from the European Union, has imposed drastic cost-cutting measures, which in turn triggered business failures, mounting unemployment and violent street protests.
European finance ministers, meeting in Wroclaw, Poland, yesterday, put off until October a decision about whether to go ahead with another huge loan to Greece.
Uncertainty about whether Greece will default on its outstanding loans has roiled world stock markets for months.

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Edit: In a similar vein:

Man Dies After Hit By Several Cars, Only One Driver Stopped

Spoiler:
Miami-Dade Police are searching for the drivers of five to eight vehicles that struck and killed a pedestrian and then left the scene.

Detectives say 53-year-old Jose Aviles-Vasquez was struck first by a red Honda Accord Saturday at about 9:15 p.m. while he was trying to cross NW 27th Avenue near 115th Street. The driver of the Honda Accord stopped his car and attempted to help him.

However, authorities say, five to eight vehicles traveling in the same southbound direction then struck Vasquez again, killing him.

Investigators say none of the other cars stopped after striking Vasquez.

Investigators have not identified the makes and models of the vehicles that struck Vasquez but evidence indicates each vehicle sustained front-end damage.

Anyone with information is urged to call Crime Stoppers at 305-471-TIPS.


Emphasis added. What. The. Fuck.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Steax » Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:26 am UTC

So did the first driver get him back to his feet, leave and he got hit another 7 times, or did he get hit those 5-8 times while the first driver was trying to get to him?

That scares me.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Lostdreams » Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:45 pm UTC

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:
TrlstanC wrote:But, I'm still curious, did no one else ever learn about creationism in science class at some point, at least those who went to public school?

Sorry, we just learned science.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Magnanimous » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:04 am UTC

Scientists attempt to create most annoying song possible

This happened three years ago, but it's too great not to post. I don't know if I'd call it annoying... I don't think there's yet an adjective for this. o_o

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:13 am UTC

Sometimes I will tell people that I have bad taste in music. They usually won't believe me. Now I have objective evidence.

I like that song.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby poxic » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:20 am UTC

The "Most Wanted Song" linked in that post is ... waaaaaaaay worse.

I could listen to the "Most Unwanted Music" piece for an hour without going too far crazy, I think. There are things to think about and analyse, more or less profitably. The "Most Wanted"? I would be clawing my eyes out of my head and/or ramming railroad spikes into my ears inside of ten minutes, I think. It took an enormous act of willpower to make it all the way through the ~5min song just once.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:21 am UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:Sometimes I will tell people that I have bad taste in music. They usually won't believe me. Now I have objective evidence.

I like that song.


I didn't mind any one part of it too much. It was too cobbled together, though. No one would take that for anything other than an attempt to be silly, which sort of defeats the purpose of trying to make a realistic song that's annoying. It was very fun, though.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby iChef » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:31 am UTC

Comment on the toe sucking story, it's not as rare as you might think (or hope). I was working in a downtown bar a couple years ago and we would get this college aged kid in every weekend. He had a habit of randomly getting down on all fours and licking people's shoes. I have no idea why. This would happen every time he came in. I don't think he was doing it to be funny, he wouldn't get back up and start laughing or anything. He would usually just lick someone's feet then introduce himself and chat for a bit, or at least try to because most everyone was kinda freaked out by it. Aside from the shoe licking he was a really polite quite kid with good manners. He was never drunk either he wouldn't really drink there, just come in, lick a few shoes, maybe buy a soda and leave. We eventually got used to him, I forget his name but everyone called him "Shine" because he was more than happy to shine your shoes with his tongue. Maybe this is some sort of greeting in some culture I'm not aware of?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby userxp » Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:56 am UTC

iChef wrote:Maybe this is some sort of greeting in some culture I'm not aware of?


How about foot fetishism + lack of social inhibition?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Lostdreams » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:27 pm UTC

Magnanimous wrote:Scientists attempt to create most annoying song possible

This happened three years ago, but it's too great not to post. I don't know if I'd call it annoying... I don't think there's yet an adjective for this. o_o


Needs the snare from every hip-hop song in the last 10 years to be running from beginning to end.
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TrlstanC wrote:But, I'm still curious, did no one else ever learn about creationism in science class at some point, at least those who went to public school?

Sorry, we just learned science.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby clockworkmonk » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:13 pm UTC

you mean the amen break?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:16 pm UTC

You mean the... dammit!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dason » Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:14 pm UTC

poxic wrote:The "Most Wanted Song" linked in that post is ... waaaaaaaay worse.

I could listen to the "Most Unwanted Music" piece for an hour without going too far crazy, I think. There are things to think about and analyse, more or less profitably. The "Most Wanted"? I would be clawing my eyes out of my head and/or ramming railroad spikes into my ears inside of ten minutes, I think. It took an enormous act of willpower to make it all the way through the ~5min song just once.

Indeed. The Most Wanted Song made me gag. The Most Unwanted Song was actually decent at points (and I couldn't stop laughing during the opera rap). That said I didn't listen to the entire Most Unwanted Song because I had other things to do so I don't know. Maybe I hate the end. But I do know that I pretty much hated the entire most wanted song...
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