In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:35 pm UTC

A collection of smallpox scabs in an easily breakable jar. Calling it now.

Alternatively, another envelope with "Not to be opened until 2112" written on it.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby webzter_again » Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:45 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Alternatively, another envelope with "Not to be opened until 2112" written on it.


Another envelope with "not to be opened after 1999" written on it.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby farnsworth » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:07 pm UTC



ufo-blogger.com TOTALLY sounds like a reputable news outlet. :lol:

Nonetheless, anxious to know what's in the package.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:15 pm UTC

One of their other most-read articles is how the HAARP satellite is an earthquake weapon that caused the 2011 earthquake that damaged the Fukushima power plant.

Not what I would call a credible source.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby sam_i_am » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:18 pm UTC

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:25 pm UTC

Well, according to some sources which are about as reliable as "that bloke down the pub", it contained some newspaper clippings from 1914 and 1919, which would obviously be in the future of whoever set up this time capsule. So, yay? Time travel?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Sheikh al-Majaneen » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:26 pm UTC

It will be an instruction manual for the Baltic Anomaly, a portal to precambrian earth.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby poxic » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:31 pm UTC

Dust. Lots of dust. Used to be other stuff, but decomposition happens.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:41 pm UTC

Well, what was it?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Max™ » Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:54 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Well, what was it?

It contained a doorway with a very confused looking James Cameron on the other side... I sung to him, beautifully.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bluebambue » Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:18 am UTC

Angua wrote:Well, what was it?
http://www.forbes.com/sites/chrisbarth/ ... as-inside/

Newspaper clippings and other interesting pieces of paper.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jave D » Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:34 am UTC

How anti-climactic. Romney's tax returns would have been much more interesting.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:29 am UTC

IMHO Romney isn't releasing the return, not because he didn't pay tax, but because of how much he gives to the Mormon Church.

<Takes off tinfoil hat, places it in vault>

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby AvatarIII » Sun Aug 26, 2012 10:21 am UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:Watch Live : As 100-Year-Old Mysterious Package In Norway Set To Be Open Today

...
The package weighs 3.1 kilos, is 40 cm wide, 28 cm deep and 9 cm thick, and is safely placed in one of the Gudbrandsdal museums. The package is sealed. Previously it has been placed in both archives and vaults.
...
There are few clues about what the package might contain. What is known is that Nygard was involved in local politics and that he reportedly walked up to the mayor and handed him the package telling him that its contents would "benefit and delight future generations," according to a video that was posted the Verdens Gang website.
...
Today,on August 24th, residents of the town will finally find out what's inside. VGTV.no will be live broadcasting the opening of the Norway package on Friday at noon EST.

The mysterious package will be opened at 6 pm CEST (4pm GMT/UTC).


A hundred bucks says it's that picture of a woman copulating with a Shetland pony.


you owe me 100 bucks. :D

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Aug 26, 2012 10:33 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:
Iulus Cofield wrote:Watch Live : As 100-Year-Old Mysterious Package In Norway Set To Be Open Today

...
The package weighs 3.1 kilos, is 40 cm wide, 28 cm deep and 9 cm thick, and is safely placed in one of the Gudbrandsdal museums. The package is sealed. Previously it has been placed in both archives and vaults.
...
There are few clues about what the package might contain. What is known is that Nygard was involved in local politics and that he reportedly walked up to the mayor and handed him the package telling him that its contents would "benefit and delight future generations," according to a video that was posted the Verdens Gang website.
...
Today,on August 24th, residents of the town will finally find out what's inside. VGTV.no will be live broadcasting the opening of the Norway package on Friday at noon EST.

The mysterious package will be opened at 6 pm CEST (4pm GMT/UTC).


A hundred bucks says it's that picture of a woman copulating with a Shetland pony.


you owe me 100 bucks. :D

As I recall, you two didn't agree on a currency. Expect 100 Zimbabwean Dollars to come your way soon. :wink:
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby AvatarIII » Sun Aug 26, 2012 10:39 am UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:
Iulus Cofield wrote:Watch Live : As 100-Year-Old Mysterious Package In Norway Set To Be Open Today

...
The package weighs 3.1 kilos, is 40 cm wide, 28 cm deep and 9 cm thick, and is safely placed in one of the Gudbrandsdal museums. The package is sealed. Previously it has been placed in both archives and vaults.
...
There are few clues about what the package might contain. What is known is that Nygard was involved in local politics and that he reportedly walked up to the mayor and handed him the package telling him that its contents would "benefit and delight future generations," according to a video that was posted the Verdens Gang website.
...
Today,on August 24th, residents of the town will finally find out what's inside. VGTV.no will be live broadcasting the opening of the Norway package on Friday at noon EST.

The mysterious package will be opened at 6 pm CEST (4pm GMT/UTC).


A hundred bucks says it's that picture of a woman copulating with a Shetland pony.


you owe me 100 bucks. :D

As I recall, you two didn't agree on a currency. Expect 100 Zimbabwean Dollars to come your way soon. :wink:

hell, I half expect pony dollars

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby phlip » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:17 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:hell, I expect half-pony dollars

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:24 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:
Iulus Cofield wrote:


A hundred bucks says it's that picture of a woman copulating with a Shetland pony.


you owe me 100 bucks. :D

As I recall, you two didn't agree on a currency. Expect 100 Zimbabwean Dollars to come your way soon. :wink:

hell, I half expect pony dollars


Clearly it's going to be monopoly money.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Link » Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:44 pm UTC

Monopoly money, or monopony money?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:16 pm UTC

Obviously I meant Sporebucks. Is there even any other currency formally called, in short or long form, "bucks"?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:28 pm UTC

You could always get him 100 coffees from a certain chain of coffee shops.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby RollingHead » Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:09 pm UTC

Or 100 male deer.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby AvatarIII » Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:21 pm UTC

RollingHead wrote:Or 100 male deer.

I demand it!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Max™ » Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:36 am UTC

Sorry, didn't mean to offend, got a little too dark.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Soralin » Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:14 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:hell, I half expect pony dollars

These? http://tidalkraken.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d51vt9j :)
Spoiler:
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:28 am UTC

There's a barber joke in there somewhere, I know it.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:44 am UTC

There's a lion loose in Essex.

I've got a bad feline about this.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diemo » Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:00 am UTC

Sounds like a hoax. Their probably lion to us.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:27 am UTC

I hope it doesn't go near a mane road.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:06 am UTC

A similar thing happened near me recently:

http://britishbigcats.blogspot.co.uk/20 ... major.html
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diemo » Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:17 am UTC

bigglesworth wrote:A similar thing happened near me recently:

http://britishbigcats.blogspot.co.uk/20 ... major.html


I woulda been angry. Would hgave been all like, "That was a toy, grrr!"
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:49 pm UTC

Real-life “Sleeping Beauties” agree to marry whoever “wakes” them with a kiss

Five women are on display in bed with their eyes closed, pretending to sleep and getting kissed by strangers in a bizarrely creative and romantically ominous art exhibit at the National Art Museum of Ukraine in Kiev.

Both the women being kissed and the men kissing have signed contracts saying that they will marry each other if the woman opens her eyes during the kiss…


Uh...yeah.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:54 pm UTC

That's quite some dedication to their art.

Although I dare say there's nothing in those contract that says they can't divorce after 5 seconds.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Роберт » Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:14 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:That's quite some dedication to their art.

Although I dare say there's nothing in those contract that says they can't divorce after 5 seconds.

I hope they have good pre-nups written up?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Minerva » Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:15 pm UTC

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/08/2 ... p=obinsite

Uganda man breaks into a local hospital and steals a patient's phone.

Specifically, he breaks into the Ebola isolation ward to steal a patient's phone.

Brilliant.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:20 pm UTC

Plenty of people go abroad to find themselves.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:24 pm UTC

The police don't usually get involved. Not in the searching for yourself part, anyway.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Adam H » Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:20 pm UTC

The comments are pretty funny. "All asians look alike?" "Never - NEVER - change clothes while on vacation!" :lol:
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ShootTheChicken » Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:57 pm UTC

bigglesworth wrote:Plenty of people go abroad to find themselves.


I'm pretty in love with you right now.
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