In other news... (humorous news items)

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Tirian
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tirian » Thu May 07, 2015 8:40 pm UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:Bank robber caught--found to have posted threat note to instagram.


Honestly, I think he's a special type of stupid. I don't even understand his defense.


Alfonseca told WAVY-TV on Wednesday in a jailhouse interview that that asking for money isn't a crime and that he believes he'll be found innocent.

Alfonseca also told ABC News affiliate WVEC that he "didn't make a mistake" but that it was the bank teller who had by giving him the cash.

"For real, I felt like I got robbed 'cause they gave me the money," he said. "Then the police robbed my brain."


I think his claim is that he wasn't carrying a weapon or issuing a threat, so he was just panhandling at the bank and found a sympathetic teller. Frankly, I don't like his chances at court. The allegation that his brain has been stolen seems more credible.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Thu May 07, 2015 9:04 pm UTC

Judging by his spelling, he can't have had much of one in the first place.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby morriswalters » Thu May 07, 2015 9:19 pm UTC

I will spend the rest of my day smiling. I wonder if the teller put the dye bomb in the bag? :D

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Fri May 08, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

PolakoVoador wrote:$1 billion disappears from Moldova, or roughly 15% of the coutry's GDP

"I cannot explain how one can steal such a large amount of money from such a small country," the EU representative in Moldova Pirkka Tapiola said recently.


Solved. Stealing a Billion
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri May 08, 2015 8:10 pm UTC

I get that his legal defense is that he didn't technically threaten the bank. I meant his statement, as quoted. I can't even begin to understand it.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tirian » Fri May 08, 2015 10:09 pm UTC

Reminds me of the one guy who thought that corpus delecti meant that they couldn't bring murder charges against you if they couldn't produce the body. So he went on a serial killing spree, threw the corpses into a vat of acid, and went on his merry way. Turns out he was wrong, oops!

As Batman so aptly pointed out, "villains are stupid".

-----

In other news, a man from Elmira, NY gets a NY Lottery scratchcard that says "You Elmira trash".

Lottery officials swear that the ticket was authentic and that the probability of those three words being chosen in that pejorative order were one in 900,000,000 (before considering the probability that the ticket would be sold in Elmira). This is in the order of improbability of winning the Powerball or Mega Millions jackpots, but this guy gets bupkis.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby krogoth » Tue May 12, 2015 5:04 am UTC

Why do people keep trying to open the plane doors on flights in China?
http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-ad ... 7351470057

Common sense, becoming less common every day.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Tue May 12, 2015 11:45 pm UTC

Thanks for the OneRepublic "Good Life" earworm...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed May 13, 2015 4:14 am UTC

Sweden uses Gay Sailor messages to deter Russian submarines.

I like the multidimensional approach they're taking to resolve their issues with Russia.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Thu May 14, 2015 2:24 am UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:Sweden uses Gay Sailor messages to deter Russian submarines.

I like the multidimensional approach they're taking to resolve their issues with Russia.


a) Oh, right, like that will work against a determined enemy.

b) At first I thought it said "Sweden uses Gay Sailor massages to deter Russian submarines." It's much funnier that way.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tirian » Thu May 14, 2015 11:26 am UTC

What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Sheikh al-Majaneen » Thu May 14, 2015 2:11 pm UTC

krogoth wrote:Why do people keep trying to open the plane doors on flights in China?
http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-ad ... 7351470057

Common sense, becoming less common every day.

What? This is my stop.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby krogoth » Fri May 15, 2015 3:12 am UTC

Sheikh al-Majaneen wrote:
krogoth wrote:Why do people keep trying to open the plane doors on flights in China?
http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-ad ... 7351470057

Common sense, becoming less common every day.

What? This is my stop.

You need to press the button or pull the cord to ring the bell and wait for the plane to come to a complete halt(mid-air) before dis-boarding.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri May 15, 2015 7:13 pm UTC

Is there any discussion on here about the "Dad makes his daughter a real princess by negotiating with the Egyptian and Sudanese governments to request a couple acres that both countries admit they don't care about defending, in order to make it a sovereign nation, become kind and therefore make his daughter a princess" thing? Because... it's kind of exploding all the fuck over everywhere I look, and not one person has one nice thing to say about any of this. Literally.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Sizik » Fri May 15, 2015 7:24 pm UTC

It was mentioned last year.

Djehutynakht wrote:Man claims the Bir Tawil so daughter can be a princess.

I admire his efforts. And the gesture is cute.


Still... he is not the first person to claim Bir Tawil.
Last edited by Sizik on Fri May 15, 2015 7:26 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby sardia » Fri May 15, 2015 7:25 pm UTC

Link?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri May 15, 2015 7:27 pm UTC

It does seem pretty colonial.

Apparently Disney is turning it into a movie?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri May 15, 2015 7:27 pm UTC

"Even in a fake kingdom, Disney's first African Princess is a rich white girl."

Averaged online response: "Oh me yarm FUCK WHITE COLONIALISM STEALING LAND FROM TEH AFRICANS PEOPLES WHEN THERE'S SO MUCH EVIL IN THE WORLD WHY IS THAT MAN SO UGLY SERIOUSLY HE'S UGLY AND THIS DESERVES MENTIONING AND FUCK DISNEY BECAUSE RACISM YEARRRGGHBBLBLB!"

I still can't figure out how "Man asks both countries if he can have a piece of land they're not using, and they say sure" = "colonialism". I will grant it's a weird situation, and the "new country" has no inhabitants whatsoever and is not acknowledged by any government on the planet and is really just a glorified gesture to make his daughter a real princess, but there's calls online for people to annex his home, kick his family out and then burn it to the ground, because HEY, IT'S THE SAME THING, AMIRITE?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Fri May 15, 2015 7:34 pm UTC

Any excuse for outrage, I guess. *sigh*

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Zamfir » Fri May 15, 2015 7:53 pm UTC

Man asks both countries if he can have a piece of land they're not using, and they say sure" = "colonialism

Wikipedia says, unsurprisingly, that it's more complicated. The countries are in debate about another more important piece of land that the Brits once swapped between the countries in return for this section, in one of those typical colonial moves. So by accepting this piece of land, either country would give up their justification for the other piece of land.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tirian » Fri May 15, 2015 8:17 pm UTC

Tyndmyr wrote:Any excuse for outrage, I guess. *sigh*


*shrug* In a region of the world where ISIS, Boko Haram, and Al-Shabaab are leading brutal and effective campaigns against white and western interests in northeast Africa, I don't really think it helps the situation that some rich white guy is starting a new western-aligned kingdom for the sake of the infantile wishes of a seven year-old girl who will never be formally recognized as a princess by anyone except her father and Disney. Not much different from how most white American girls are thought of as princesses by their fathers and Disney.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Fri May 15, 2015 8:19 pm UTC

Also, on what planet does "disputed territory" = "territory NEITHER of the disputing parties wants"? Surely not this one. Seriously, does anyone but the dad think that Egypt and Sudan were disputing which country had to get stuck with this bit of land? [Edited to say: Oh, because they each wanted a different bit that they both liked better. Still, there's no free lunch.]

I hadn't heard of this story before. The least outraged version of the story I could find is here.

I've got problems with this on a number of different levels, aside from the obvious ones. (I presume the racism, colonialism, and sexism are obvious).

The thing that bugs me most is that this sort of wish-granting may distort what the Make-A-Wish Foundation is trying to do. (No, this scenario is in no way affiliated with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and the daughter does not have a life-threatening illness that makes her feel guilty for making her family feel bad, and therefore she didn't feel a desire to make her family feel good by giving them memories of seeing her very happy, instead of in pain. My kid was one of those, and she had a wish granted by Make-A-Wish, and now that she's healthier after her heart transplant she volunteers for them and gives speeches about her experience and why it was a life-changing, empowering thing. She didn't have much of a voice in her medical treatment, but she micromanaged the details of her wish, which was to restore an AP class at her school that her friends wanted to take, that had been cut for budgetary reasons. My daughter was dying, and wanted her friends' memories of her to be joyful.)

In contrast, this girl was just showing the typical narcissism of a seven-year-old, and like many dads, hers decided it would be cool to figure out a way to indulge it a bit...but then her dad kind of became Dadzilla about it.

This media circus seems to be all about the dad's desire to be the provider of something to his little girl, and receive global acclaim for being Such A Great Dad. It is not really about the guy's daughter at all. (And the fact that the brothers were not dreaming about becoming princes in the same way their sister was dreaming about becoming a princess just reinforces the stereotype that men are active and women are passive, and women need men to make their dreams come true. I'd find this more inspiring if the dad quietly mentored the daughter behind the scenes so SHE could work hard to make her own damn dream come true. But now I'm back on the sexism topic, which I said was obvious, so I'll shut up now.)
Last edited by ObsessoMom on Fri May 15, 2015 8:37 pm UTC, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby WibblyWobbly » Fri May 15, 2015 8:20 pm UTC

Zamfir wrote:
Man asks both countries if he can have a piece of land they're not using, and they say sure" = "colonialism

Wikipedia says, unsurprisingly, that it's more complicated. The countries are in debate about another more important piece of land that the Brits once swapped between the countries in return for this section, in one of those typical colonial moves. So by accepting this piece of land, either country would give up their justification for the other piece of land.


And by accepting this guy's claim to the land, both sides could be seen as effectively saying that both of the maps they're disputing are wrong. So nobody's going to invade to take this place back, most likely, but no one is going to recognize this idiot, either (not like they would have anyway). Still, I think it's a pretty tortured definition of "colonialism" that includes this jerk.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri May 15, 2015 8:26 pm UTC

I don't know, someone going to another continent and planting a flag to claim a country seems colonial, or imperial, or something.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Fri May 15, 2015 8:28 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:Also, on what planet does "disputed territory" = "territory NEITHER of the disputing parties wants"? Surely not this one. Seriously, does anyone but the dad think that Egypt and Sudan were disputing which country had to get stuck with this bit of land?


Yeah, if neither of 'em wants it, no problem. It is a super odd case, though. Usually, countries don't really want to give up turf.

I agree that the whole princess thing is a cultural oddity, but...meh. That happens basically endlessly. I've seen the atrocity that is "My Super Sweet Sixteen", this probably pales in comparison.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby WibblyWobbly » Fri May 15, 2015 8:34 pm UTC

Angua wrote:I don't know, someone going to another continent and planting a flag to claim a country seems colonial, or imperial, or something.

Is it because it's Africa, though? He's not representing another sovereign state, so he's not really forming a "colony", as it is, and he hasn't yet started exploiting the resources which may or may not be there (which could either be colonialist or imperialist, I think), so would this have been better if he'd claimed a small chunk of Marie Byrd Land?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby elasto » Fri May 15, 2015 8:37 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Is there any discussion on here about the "Dad makes his daughter a real princess by negotiating with the Egyptian and Sudanese governments to request a couple acres that both countries admit they don't care about defending

In addition to what others have said, it doesn't appear to be just 'a couple of acres' - it's 2,000 sq km.

And I guess it's 'colonialism' cos this guy has travelled to a bit of land he has no connection to, stuck a flag in it and claimed it for himself.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri May 15, 2015 8:40 pm UTC

elasto wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Is there any discussion on here about the "Dad makes his daughter a real princess by negotiating with the Egyptian and Sudanese governments to request a couple acres that both countries admit they don't care about defending

In addition to what others have said, it doesn't appear to be just 'a couple of acres' - it's 2,000 sq km.

And I guess it's 'colonialism' cos this guy has travelled to a bit of land he has no connection to, stuck a flag in it and claimed it for himself.

... after asking and getting permission, is the part that seems to have eluded most news outlets. He didn't just show up and claim it, and he certainly hasn't defended it because no-one has tried to get it back.

I will admit, it's spiralled way the hell out of the original intent of "dude makes his daughter a princess", but people seem to think he's trying to steal land out from under the world's noses like a cartoon supervillain and impose a white supremacist regime in a disputed part of Darkest Africa. He's literally just temporarily using this land until one or the other countries actually wants it back.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby WibblyWobbly » Fri May 15, 2015 8:42 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
elasto wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Is there any discussion on here about the "Dad makes his daughter a real princess by negotiating with the Egyptian and Sudanese governments to request a couple acres that both countries admit they don't care about defending

In addition to what others have said, it doesn't appear to be just 'a couple of acres' - it's 2,000 sq km.

And I guess it's 'colonialism' cos this guy has travelled to a bit of land he has no connection to, stuck a flag in it and claimed it for himself.

... after asking and getting permission, is the part that seems to have eluded most news outlets. He didn't just show up and claim it, and he certainly hasn't defended it because no-one has tried to get it back.

I will admit, it's spiralled way the hell out of the original intent of "dude makes his daughter a princess", but people seem to think he's trying to steal land out from under the world's noses like a cartoon supervillain and impose a white supremacist regime in a disputed part of Darkest Africa. He's literally just temporarily using this land until one or the other countries actually wants it back.

I wonder if he actually got "permission", or if both sides said "It's not our land, you'll have to talk to [other country]." Giving permission for this guy to plant a flag would be tacit acknowledgement that the area is not terra nullius, right?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Fri May 15, 2015 8:46 pm UTC

When I was a student at UC Berkeley in the 1990s, there was this. I think it's just an artwork, though--I don't think all of the various jurisdictions actually surrendered their sovereignty over that little bit of land. Any Cal students around who can check it out?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Fri May 15, 2015 8:46 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I will admit, it's spiralled way the hell out of the original intent of "dude makes his daughter a princess", but people seem to think he's trying to steal land out from under the world's noses like a cartoon supervillain and impose a white supremacist regime in a disputed part of Darkest Africa. He's literally just temporarily using this land until one or the other countries actually wants it back.


I wonder if he likes money. Because I *am* willing to be a cartoon supervillain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby elasto » Fri May 15, 2015 8:53 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:... after asking and getting permission, is the part that seems to have eluded most news outlets. He didn't just show up and claim it, and he certainly hasn't defended it because no-one has tried to get it back.

Asking and getting permission doesn't not make it colonialism. Historically, some colonies have been given grudgingly, and have even have been given willingly.

As others said, it obviously either belongs to Sudan or Egypt, and as soon as they resolve the Hala'ib triangle they'll resolve this also.

So long as he's a 'wise colonial leader' and hands it back when the dispute is resolved it's fine I guess. History is sadly full of colonial powers who outstayed their welcome is all...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri May 15, 2015 8:59 pm UTC

WibblyWobbly wrote:
Angua wrote:I don't know, someone going to another continent and planting a flag to claim a country seems colonial, or imperial, or something.

Is it because it's Africa, though? He's not representing another sovereign state, so he's not really forming a "colony", as it is, and he hasn't yet started exploiting the resources which may or may not be there (which could either be colonialist or imperialist, I think), so would this have been better if he'd claimed a small chunk of Marie Byrd Land?

Except, he wouldn't be able to claim a kingdom in any non disputed land, so the fact that he's at least partially exploiting their dispute to make his claim means you can't really disentangle it easily.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Sun May 17, 2015 11:03 pm UTC

This thing about the guy in Bir Tawil is stupid.

The land is unclaimed. Both countries explicitly deny any claim to the area, and thus it's Terra Nullius.

The thing is... thousands of people have done this. You can find half a dozen "Kingdom of Bir Tawil"'s with a quick google search.

He's not a racist. He's not a Colonialist. He's a guy who planted a flag in an unclaimed, unpopulated piece of desert because it's fun, and has just the slightest bit more legitimacy than declaring that your backyard has seceded from the mighty United States.


This just so happens to be a very popularized version of a very common trend called Micronationalism.


There are real problems in the world. People's territory and legitimacy are truly threatened. This man is doing none of it. Just because his piece of desert in located on the geographic area that is Africa isn't particularly special.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sun May 17, 2015 11:22 pm UTC

But he's white AND American! If we're not outraged, WHO WILL BE?!?!?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PAstrychef » Sun May 17, 2015 11:28 pm UTC

You're Canadian, you don't understand outrage like Americans do.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby krogoth » Sun May 17, 2015 11:56 pm UTC

Wouldn't she need citizenship in the country to be considered it's princess? Then to stay in America without a visa she'd need a dual citizenship? Some countries don't like dual citizenship's. Though she is underage, maybe when she turns 16 or whatever the age is they will deport her. Now that would be funny, sad and funny.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Mon May 18, 2015 6:54 am UTC

She'll stay an American citizen as well presumably. The American's only make you give up the other citizenships if you become one later on.

I don't know, maybe I have a different perspective on the whole glorifying of being able to take disputed lands as your own kingdom because most of my history lessons were focussed on slavery and colonialism (the red in our flag symbolised 'the struggle from slavery through colonialism to independence'), and how doing things like encouraging and creating disputes to get territory and slaves were the bread and butter of the time. And yes, news stories and now a disney movie do feel like glorifying.

Also, sure, there are other things in the world to be upset about. That's true for most things though.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Mon May 18, 2015 7:33 am UTC

Personally, I see that story and my first thought is "how original, a little girl obsessed with being a princess." The whole thing bugs me, and I'm not really sure why. The obsession with little girls being princesses just seems so stupid to be. Princesses aren't even interesting.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Mon May 18, 2015 10:30 am UTC

Obama to limit the military equipment police departments can purchase:

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0 ... 8?irpc=932

I have serious doubts that the limitations will go far enough to make any real difference.
Honesty replaced by greed, they gave us the reason to fight and bleed
They try to torch our faith and hope, spit at our presence and detest our goals


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