In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Thu Mar 02, 2017 1:26 am UTC

HES wrote:
Mutex wrote:Yes, of course the system needs a network, that network doesn't need to be connected to the internet though. It should only be connected to the internet if... it needs the internet.

So when guests book online, how does their reservation make it into the system?

This is a problem that must be addressed.
I am in Hospital. My orders got ' lost' .

It is the same kind of problem with more serious effects.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Mar 02, 2017 2:17 am UTC

Is this one of those things like with taco bell, where some "study" claimed the beef wasn't beef because it contained water, water that makes up 2/3 the weight of any animal bodypart?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Deva » Thu Mar 02, 2017 2:22 am UTC

Claims mainly soy in the other half.
Changes its form depending on the observer.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:32 am UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:27 am UTC

That...makes a shocking amount of sense.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Mar 02, 2017 11:06 am UTC

All I've ever wanted from the comments section was to fix the damn reply trees so it's more like Cracked's comments.

Cracked:

Comment
.Reply
.Reply
.(see more)
Comment
.Reply
Comment
.Reply
.Reply
(see more)

Every single news site ever:

Comment
.Reply
..Reply
...Reply
....Reply
.....Reply
......Reply
.......Reply
........Reply
.........Reply
..........Reply
...........Reply
............Reply
.............Reply
..............Reply
...............Reply
................Reply...

The result is that the top comment is some crap, and you can't even find the next comment until scrolling down 5 pages, and so people vote for the top comment no matter how shit so their reply gets higher on the list...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu Mar 02, 2017 11:41 am UTC

The best ones are where the about of horizontal space is limited, and each indent cuts into it, so by the time you get to the 5th reply in the tree the comment text is practically a vertical line.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Chen » Thu Mar 02, 2017 12:53 pm UTC

Liri wrote:It took me a bit to realize this wasn't an Onion article.

DNA tests reveal Subway chicken only 50 percent meat


I gotta wonder at the methodology here. Those chicken strips at Subway are clearly heavily processed. I gotta wonder how homogeneously mixed they are. I can't imagine it's that thorough. I suppose if they sampled at multiple locations in a strip and over multiple strips it could still be a reasonable average.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Liri » Thu Mar 02, 2017 1:00 pm UTC

Chen wrote:
Liri wrote:It took me a bit to realize this wasn't an Onion article.

DNA tests reveal Subway chicken only 50 percent meat


I gotta wonder at the methodology here. Those chicken strips at Subway are clearly heavily processed. I gotta wonder how homogeneously mixed they are. I can't imagine it's that thorough. I suppose if they sampled at multiple locations in a strip and over multiple strips it could still be a reasonable average.

They got reasonable values for the other chains they tested.
There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide exactly where to go. If you see something that catches your eye to the left, you can veer off there, which isn't so easy in a car, and you can't cover as much ground walking.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:00 pm UTC

Deva wrote:Claims mainly soy in the other half.

This is reassuring. The headline I saw said that DNA tests had revealed it was only about 50% chicken. Soy is better than many other things that could have been there.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:15 pm UTC

Yes, considering it was the result of a DNA test I was expecting the rest of it to be some other animal. Although I can't think of many animals cheaper than chicken.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:25 pm UTC

Roadkill?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Deva » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:47 pm UTC

Sometimes whole turkey, although not recently. (Source. Looked at "Retail prices for beef, pork, poultry cuts, eggs, and dairy products".)
Changes its form depending on the observer.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby speising » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:13 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:Roadkill?

Image

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Thu Mar 02, 2017 9:55 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:Yes, considering it was the result of a DNA test I was expecting the rest of it to be some other animal. Although I can't think of many animals cheaper than chicken.


Um... Plants have as much DNA as animals*, and it's in the same place doing more or less the same things.

*If not more - some plants have quite ridiculously large genomes.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:00 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:
Mutex wrote:Yes, considering it was the result of a DNA test I was expecting the rest of it to be some other animal. Although I can't think of many animals cheaper than chicken.

Um... Plants have as much DNA as animals*, and it's in the same place doing more or less the same things.

*If not more - some plants have quite ridiculously large genomes.

I know, but I guess I was thinking if it wasn't animal meat at all it would be kinda obvious and they'd do some other test. It just sort of sent my mind down a different path.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Fri Mar 03, 2017 6:11 am UTC

Mutex wrote:
Quercus wrote:
Mutex wrote:Yes, considering it was the result of a DNA test I was expecting the rest of it to be some other animal. Although I can't think of many animals cheaper than chicken.

Um... Plants have as much DNA as animals*, and it's in the same place doing more or less the same things.

*If not more - some plants have quite ridiculously large genomes.

I know, but I guess I was thinking if it wasn't animal meat at all it would be kinda obvious and they'd do some other test. It just sort of sent my mind down a different path.


Ah, okay, that's understandable... They were probably looking for other meat i guess, hence that test rather than something simpler

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:47 pm UTC

A good news story - well, kinda. Inspirational at least.

Is it ever too late to come to terms with one's true nature? Perhaps not.

Meet Roman, who decided at age 95 that it was time to "come out of the closet". He said he knew his true sexual orientation "when I was five years old".

And how did his family react to the news when he broke it to them?

"I just told them plain that I was born and was all my life gay. I told them the whole tragedy of my life and then they understood what happened to me," he replied. "Can you imagine...90 years to be in the closet?"

Asked by Davey if he is now seeking a relationship with a boyfriend, Roman blushes, covers his face and looks away.

"Yes," he responds, avoiding eye contact with Davey.

"What type of guy do you go for? What does he look like?"

"I don't care," he says. "I don't look at the face. I look at the heart. Somebody to lean against. Somebody who feels the heart ticking."

And finally, now that he has let the world know his tale, what is he looking to gain?

"I want to go to sleep [and] have somebody close to me. Not for any other reason, but to be sure that someone cares."

When people wonder why 'p0litical correctness' is important, it's because of guys like this: It's not acceptable for someone to have to live in fear for nine decades. But it is heartwarming that he is still looking for true love :)

link

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:54 pm UTC

I think the complaints about "p0litical correctness (damn that filter)" are things like a medical professional not being able to describe a patient as "fat", not "oh gee, if you can take a dick you can take a joke".

Well, the more valid complaints anyway.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:43 am UTC

Dark subject matter but somewhat humorous in the way it played out:

Facebook has been criticised for its handling of reports about sexualised images of children on its platform.

The chairman of the Commons media committee, Damian Collins, said he had "grave doubts" about the effectiveness of its content moderation systems.

Mr Collins' comments come after the BBC reported dozens of photos to Facebook, but more than 80% were not removed.

They included images from groups where men were discussing swapping what appeared to be child abuse material.

When provided with examples of the images, Facebook reported the BBC journalists involved to the police and cancelled plans for an interview.

The BBC first asked Facebook for an interview about its moderation system in late-2015, and repeated the request following this follow-up investigation.

The social network's director of policy Simon Milner agreed to be interviewed last week, on condition the BBC provided examples of the material that it had reported, but had not been removed by moderators.

The BBC did so, but was reported to the UK's National Crime Agency as a consequence.


Facebook are in a difficult position. They want to be a mere conduit of information no different to a phone or mail firm whereby users are entirely responsible for content they generate; whereas, because such content is often displayed publicly, they share a lot in common with a publishing firm like a newspaper who are entirely responsible for what content of others they let appear. In truth they are something in between - but the more they do to police peoples' content, the more they will be expected to do...

(Also, Facebook seem to fail badly in both directions - eg. the 'free the nipple' campaign...)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Diadem » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:40 am UTC

Perhaps they are in a difficult position. But difficult position or not, reporting the BBC journalists to the police after they give you examples of inappropriate material found on your own site is a new height of dickishness.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zamfir » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:41 pm UTC

I wouldn't call their position "difficult". The more exact term is "raking in the money faster than an industrial furnace could burn it".

If there's too much child porn(or whatever) on Facebook, it's because they don't care enough to really do something about it. They could hire enough people to deal adequately with the reports. Instead, they put in an automated system that apparently doesn't work. That's not because they faced some difficult dilemma or whatever, it's just them being cheap so they can make more money.

If they were some keep-the-servers-running barebones operation , I would cut them some slack. But if they can put profitable advertisements on everything on the site, they can take responsibility for that same everything.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:30 pm UTC

Well, I meant they are put in a difficult position in general - eg. do/should they allow pictures of topless women? Whatever stance they take they upset a huge swathe of people. Likewise with do/should they show real world violence?

Obviously when it comes to child porn they have taken a definitive stance that almost everyone would agree with; they have just spectacularly failed to carry it out...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:58 pm UTC

elasto wrote:... they have taken a definitive stance that almost everyone would agree with; they have just spectacularly failed to carry it out...

So, a lot like a successful election campaign, then.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby idonno » Wed Mar 08, 2017 12:26 am UTC

Zamfir wrote:If there's too much child porn(or whatever) on Facebook, it's because they don't care enough to really do something about it. They could hire enough people to deal adequately with the reports. Instead, they put in an automated system that apparently doesn't work. That's not because they faced some difficult dilemma or whatever, it's just them being cheap so they can make more money.
Given the blatantly illegal nature of child porn, I'd think they could cause a substantial voluntary reduction in this activity by turning over data to the police and actively making examples of some violators. It seems seriously idiotic to trade child porn on a site that has as much tracking as Facebook does.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby jewish_scientist » Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:07 pm UTC

Stolen land has been returned to the descendant of the victims.

I always smile whenever I learn that an old wrong has been righted. Here is a follow-up on the history relevant to this story.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Mar 09, 2017 4:40 pm UTC

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
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nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Fri Mar 10, 2017 4:46 pm UTC

No, it's Daddy's turn on camera! DADDY'S TURN! (Shove)

BBC correspondent interrupted by his children live on air - video

Hard to retain one's composure in the midst of a cuteness escalation like that, though. I mean, the toddler was one thing, but then the baby....

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:12 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:No, it's Daddy's turn on camera! DADDY'S TURN! (Shove)

BBC correspondent interrupted by his children live on air - video

Hard to retain one's composure in the midst of a cuteness escalation like that, though. I mean, the toddler was one thing, but then the baby....

Oh! Fabulous!!
You did Good ObsessoMom!

I was able to keep a straight
face until Mom.
On her hands and knees pulled the door shut.

I burst out Laughing.
Priceless!

Simply Priceless!
That! is funny news.

Who care what the pretend Stuffed Shirt was saying.
He has little people that Love him!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Felstaff » Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:10 am UTC

I don't think I've ever had one clip shared so much on my timeline as this clip.
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Liri » Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:17 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:I don't think I've ever had one clip shared so much on my timeline as this clip.

It's best when it autoplays without sound.
There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide exactly where to go. If you see something that catches your eye to the left, you can veer off there, which isn't so easy in a car, and you can't cover as much ground walking.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby LaserGuy » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:43 pm UTC

Company that makes wireless, Bluetooth-activated sex toys settles class action lawsuit for $5 million after it was determined that the company was surreptitiously collecting usage data on the devices.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:57 pm UTC

I didn't know there was such a thing, but now all I can picture is the inevitable awkward moment where you invite someone over and their phone auto-discovers it.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Liri » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:03 am UTC

Hey man, we're all sex and vibrator-positive here
There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide exactly where to go. If you see something that catches your eye to the left, you can veer off there, which isn't so easy in a car, and you can't cover as much ground walking.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:10 am UTC

Well, I'm not, but that's because I have a twig up my ass and I want everyone else to suffer because it doesn't vibrate.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sheikh al-Majaneen » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:30 pm UTC

Imagine if the usage statistics are taken and posted to facebook.

"Liri uses vibrator! It's super effective!"

Tagged in this post: Liri's mom, dad, grandmothers, grandfathers

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:05 pm UTC

Just think of the achievements you could unlock!
"'Legacy code' often differs from its suggested alternative by actually working and scaling."
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby WibblyWobbly » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:10 pm UTC

Sheikh al-Majaneen wrote:Imagine if the usage statistics are taken and posted to facebook.

"Liri uses vibrator! It's super effective!"

Tagged in this post: Liri's mom, dad, grandmothers, grandfathers

Not to mention the awkwardness that follows if you check in at a certain location at a certain time, and your vibrator checks in somewhere else at the same time.

Or if you and your vibrator check in at the same place at the same time.

Pretty much any situation in which your vibrator checks in anywhere.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:26 pm UTC

The following people have added your vibrator to their circles:
1453mehmettt
2shy
3fgburner
3Horn
61455W41K32
A.Nonny.Mouse
abodeofthedamned
AcrophobicPixie
agdtinman
Ainar
Akanari
Akyla
Alex
Alexandro98
Allan
AmericanGeekster
AmethystSquirrel
AncientCityArms
AndyOakley
angeleyes
AngelicTigress
Animae
antony
Aquatic Donut
arawn
Arc Orion
ArchersSuck
Argoth
arjune
Results 1 to 30 of 761
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby LaserGuy » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:07 pm UTC

Here's a picture from the first meeting of the girl's council in Saudi Arabia for discussing the welfare and empowerment of women. See if you can spot what's missing.

Spoiler:
Image


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