In other news... (humorous news items)

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morriswalters
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby morriswalters » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:16 pm UTC

It keeps people from selling them for Easter to children. In my youth they sold colored chicks and baby rabbits. You should be able to extrapolate from that.

idonno
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby idonno » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:24 pm UTC

jewish_scientist wrote:
elastro wrote:Any statement at all can be argued for in moral language if you're allowed to use arbitrary, nonsensical, contradictory morals.

Counterexample.

2 + 2 = 5 because that allows us to produce food for free thus ending world hunger. If you aren't pro starving children, you would support this. Math teachers are monsters!

Before you try to construct a clever counter, remember the the claim allows "arbitrary, nonsensical, contradictory morals".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ucim » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:43 pm UTC

But 2+2 does equal five... for sufficiently large values of 2.

Jose
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CorruptUser
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:57 pm UTC

Nah, just redefine the + symbol into another operation in group theory, and boom, five.

Note: tried to type "done" but my phones autocorrect simply couldn't recognize the word "done", and corrected it to "five", which was too perfect.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby idonno » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:01 pm UTC

ucim wrote:But 2+2 does equal five... for sufficiently large values of 2.

Jose

I see you have bought into more lies. There are no numbers other than whole numbers (and I suspect some of those are made up). I shall eat a marshmallow for your soul.

Nah, just redefine the + symbol into another operation in group theory, and boom, five.

Ra made "+" to add and "-" to subtract you pervert.

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CorruptUser
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:58 pm UTC

Well, I am into degenerate numbers. Sexy, degenerate numbers. While all of your numbers happen to be as imaginary as your girlfriend.

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ucim
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ucim » Mon Nov 27, 2017 5:35 pm UTC

idonno wrote:I see you have bought into more lies. There are no numbers other than whole numbers
So what do you get when the band is playing a set and you interrupt it in the middle of a number? And in any case, when they are playing a song, each of the band members is playing a part. Math has consequences!

Jose
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Nov 27, 2017 5:45 pm UTC

Your band's "gig" is not even a meg.

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Grop
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:32 pm UTC

Not exactly a news, but I chanced on some fun trivia about Andorra :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_w ... regularity

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Soupspoon
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:00 pm UTC

Do they even look like they desire peace?

Image


:P

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby pkcommando » Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:57 pm UTC

Grop wrote:Not exactly a news, but I chanced on some fun trivia about Andorra :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_w ... regularity

And by posting this, you've probably ruined their surprise counteroffensive planned for November next year. No one would've seen it coming.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby jewish_scientist » Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:25 pm UTC

idonno wrote:Before you try to construct a clever counter, remember the the claim allows "arbitrary, nonsensical, contradictory morals".

Is not* your claim then just the Principle of Explosion?

CorruptUser wrote:Well, I am into degenerate numbers. Sexy, degenerate numbers. While all of your numbers happen to be as imaginary as your girlfriend.

People who have imaginary girlfriends are so complex. The only people worst are those irrational groups.

By the way, I googled "degenerate number wolframalpha" and clicked the first result. :| Thanks, guys. I couldn't have figured that out on my own.

*I feel so formal not using the contraction, like if I was the 1700's. Formal... and powerful.
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ObsessoMom
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:45 am UTC

Just in time for the holidays, we learn that glitter is evil.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:12 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:Just in time for the holidays, we learn that glitter is evil.

It's the herpes of the crafting world.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby eSOANEM » Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:10 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:
Just in time for the holidays, we learn that glitter is evil.


Biodegradable glitter exists; it really ought to be more common though.
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LaserGuy
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby LaserGuy » Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:38 pm UTC

Russia has been banned from competing in the 2018 Winter Olympics due to organized, state-backed usage of performance enhancing drugs. Individual athletes may petition the Olympic committee to compete under a neutral flag, but will not be considered to be representing Russia.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:31 pm UTC

Journalism at its finest! From the "Great Job Internet" section of the A.V. Club:

This square dancing conspiracy goes deeper than you think

(The featured photo, however, is not of square dancing, but of line dancing. Fail.)

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ucim
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ucim » Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:45 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:The featured photo, however, is not of square dancing, but of line dancing.
That's what they want you to believe. :)

Jose
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:05 am UTC

Heh!

Full disclosure--my parents were competitive square dancers, and...um...I advanced from the "mainsteam" level to the "Plus Two" level, back in the 1980s. Which basically means that I learned a whole bunch of calls (steps). Then I went away to college and found even nerdier things to do.

If it's not clear, I don't really think that dredging up old articles via Google and breathlessly tweeting about them is really "Journalism at its finest." But I'm in full agreement with all of the points made in the referenced Julia Mangin article from 1995, and I probably wouldn't ever have stumbled across that without Robyn Pennacchia's SHOUTED REPORTAGE. So I guess I'm GRATEFUL.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:29 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:Heh!
If it's not clear, I don't really think that dredging up old articles via Google and breathlessly tweeting about them is really "Journalism at its finest." But I'm in full agreement with all of the points made in the referenced Julia Mangin article from 1995, and I probably wouldn't ever have stumbled across that without Robyn Pennacchia's SHOUTED REPORTAGE. So I guess I'm GRATEFUL.


What? You didn't hear about Birtherism? Antivaxxerism? The Cruz-JFK assassination theory? Etc., etc., ad nauseam?

How could we possibly have great journalism like that without Googling and then breathlessly Tweeting?
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:30 pm UTC

Engineers at a small British internet service provider have successfully made a broadband connection work over 2m (6ft 7in) of wet string.

The connection reached speeds of 3.5Mbps (megabits per second), according to the Andrews and Arnold engineer who conducted the experiment.

The point of the experiment appears to have been purely to see if it was achievable.

"To be honest it was a bit of fun, which one of our techies decided to try out - we have equipment we could test in the office, and why not? There is no commercial potential that we are aware of."


Hope they had paper cups at each end of the string too!

link

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ObsessoMom
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:33 pm UTC

elasto wrote:
There is no commercial potential that we are aware of."

It warms my heart to know that pure science is alive and well.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:41 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:
elasto wrote:
There is no commercial potential that we are aware of."


I have at least one application: shaming BT broadband (replace with notoriously bad broadband provider appropriate to your country). "Well these guys can make it work over a piece of wet string, so don't you go telling me that the line is bad and there's nothing you can do."

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:22 pm UTC

In case of language differences, it's probably worth noting that "a piece of wet string" is often used figuratively by communications engineers to mean a poor quality cable, i.e. one with a high loss, a poor impedance match and possibly having had its specifications degraded further as a result of water ingress or mechanical trauma. Unlike its counterpart in the field of antenna design, the bent coathanger, it's not usually taken literally; nevertheless, that's what these jokers have done.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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CorruptUser
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:37 pm UTC

Don't forget about napkins for analysis, or bubblegum+hope for car repairs.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:43 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Don't forget about napkins for analysis, or bubblegum+hope for car repairs.

Speed tape for aircraft, perl for code

I'd forgotten about the figurative use of wet string - thanks for the reminder.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:47 pm UTC

I thought code was "spaghetti"?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:56 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:perl for code

Hey, it's not my fault that Perl can patch virtually anything else, with enough ingenuity.

(Which reminds me, I'm still looking for a good command-line MIDI-voicer that I can pipe to from a static text file (or, ultimately, a script than generates as it goes), to see if I can overcome my lack of personal musical ability.)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby freezeblade » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:03 pm UTC

"baling wire and mud" I've heard for construction applications.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ucim » Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:19 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:Speed tape for aircraft, perl for code
Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed...

Jose
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:36 pm UTC

ucim wrote:
Quercus wrote:Speed tape for aircraft, perl for code
Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed...

Jose


Atomic batteries? Wouldn't that be overkill for power rather than cheap and terrible a la bent coat hanger for antennae?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:05 pm UTC

I've just noticed that half the things listed are just "cheap and terrible" whereas the other half are more "kludgy and expedient" (both of mine are the latter, bent coathanger found be either depending on circumstance). It seems an important distinction

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:51 pm UTC

I once got a better TV signal by unplugging the antenna cable and jamming a pencil into the socket. It went from "I *think* this is the right channel" to "not the best image quality but it's okay."

"Baling wire and mud" sound like potentially higher-quality work than "recruit accommodation."
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Soupspoon
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:00 pm UTC

I'm gonna say this is humorous, though there'll be different opinions about which lines it crosses amongst UKians and non-UKians1 may be mysti(/horri)fied by the whole thing.

1 Even those who still think we watch Benny Hill.


Much less controversial, though...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby HES » Thu Dec 14, 2017 8:46 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:I'm gonna say this is humorous

Because of the snow at the weekend, one of the temporary yellow-on-black signs leading to the local theatre venue only had the first word visible.
He/Him/His Image

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:53 am UTC

Speaking of professionals who "trace" things:

A surgeon has pleaded guilty to marking his initials on the livers of two patients while performing transplant surgery.
In all fairness...

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addams
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:03 am UTC

Coyne wrote:Speaking of professionals who "trace" things:

A surgeon has pleaded guilty to marking his initials on the livers of two patients while performing transplant surgery.
Yes. It is funny,
And; Stupid.
No one can See the initials.
That man saved lives.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Thesh » Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:07 am UTC

Japanese Monkeys are having sex with deer:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way ... -with-deer
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Dec 16, 2017 4:44 pm UTC

As a kid growing up, I learned that the sign of the end times was rampant bestiality even among the animals. This is clearly proof that we are doing something wrong.


Anyone got any sacrifices? Don't need to be a virgin; my volcano god prefers a sacrifice with experience.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Sat Dec 16, 2017 5:08 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:As a kid growing up, I learned that the sign of the end times was rampant bestiality even among the animals.
This is clearly proof that we are doing something wrong.


Anyone got any sacrifices? Don't need to be a virgin; my volcano god prefers a sacrifice with experience.
Church?
Christian Church?

Those People!?!
Any surprise they gave us Trump?
Spoiler:
I've heard he was the product of bestiality.
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Some of us see The Gutter.
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Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.


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