The Liquor Thread

[Amarantha]

Hehe ya - I just noticed when I was searching for the above pic that they had a bunch of variously-coloured wood-finish boxes. I was surprised, since they're such a tiny distillery.

I reckon single-cask stuff is worth the risk of a dud, for the sheer wonderfulness of some of the ones that aren't duds. I really have buy some more stuff from SMWS. Well, once the wedding's over and I can justify the expense

[Mr. Mack]

I bought some Georgia Moon and tried it while writing down my thoughts, all of 'em (my ADHD took over, so I had a lot of thoughts, some even about what I was doing). I'll post my full report later, but for the time being,

I took down close to 2/3 of that bottle of Georgia Moon last night and have ZERO hangover.

This is true, although I didn't drink 2/3, I only drank ¹/₃, but that was entirely by accident and outside of sleeping 12 hours, there were no obvious hangover effects.

Right now I'm trying the little bottle (what's the name for the little 50mL bottles? I can't ever remember) of The Glenlivet 12 year. I've never spent so much on so little, but I'm glad I did. It's more flavorful and complicated than what I've had previously, which makes me happy. I liked this more than enough to justify the price ($3.50), but I don't know if I liked it enough that I'd prefer a fifth to having the money needed for a fifth. As it stands, I'm thinking I'd prefer a fifth.

Also, I'm still not sure how I feel about peat. The peat is a lot milder than what I've had previously, and it seems to mostly be in the finish. Outside of strength, I think the peat in this may have actually been a preferable flavor to the peat in Johnnie Walker Red. Is there any variation in the flavor of peat, or am I just imagining things?

[Dream]

Right now I'm trying the little bottle (what's the name for the little 50mL bottles? I can't ever remember) of The Glenlivet 12 year. I've never spent so much on so little, but I'm glad I did. It's more flavorful and complicated than what I've had previously, which makes me happy. I liked this more than enough to justify the price ($3.50), but I don't know if I liked it enough that I'd prefer a fifth to having the money needed for a fifth. As it stands, I'm thinking I'd prefer a fifth.

Also, I'm still not sure how I feel about peat. The peat is a lot milder than what I've had previously, and it seems to mostly be in the finish. Outside of strength, I think the peat in this may have actually been a preferable flavor to the peat in Johnnie Walker Red. Is there any variation in the flavor of peat, or am I just imagining things?

There is very much a variation in peat flavours. Both in intensity and what you might call vegetality.* Or, how grassy the peat is. If you try something from Islay, like Laphroaig or Ardbeg you'll get the full peat experience, but most malts have a little peat in there somewhere.

I tried the Glenmorangie Burgundy Wood last night. It's much better than the port wood. It is rich and slightly sweet, a good counterpoint to the spiciness of the regular release. I still wouldn't buy it over the regular, but I can recommend it to anyone who almost loves the Glenmorangie, but prefers something smooth and sweet.

Well, once the wedding's over

Yay! Congratulations, I hadn't realised. Surely you'll want to have something really special for the wedding, right?




*It's when Raiden kills you with a leek.

[clintonius]

(what's the name for the little 50mL bottles? I can't ever remember)

I believe it's called a "nip." Also, Dream's footnote had me in hysterics for a long, long time.

. . . that is all.

[Matt]

I believe it's called a "nip."

Hey, thanks for bringing this up. I've been trying to find a nice consensus on the slang terms of bottle sizes for a while; mainly what to call everything in the 500/375/200 category. I've heard both 500mL and 375mL called "pints" and I'd like to know what's more correct. I would rather call the 375 a "tenth" but 200 is a whole 50mL wrong to be a "half-pint" then.

[Scaredcrow]

Names for traditional bottle sizes. These have been a standard since the late 70's.

Miniature (Nip) 50mL
Half Pint 200mL
Pint 500mL
Fifth 750mL
Quart 1 Liter
Half Gallon 1.75 Liters

I am still trying to find out the name for a 375mL bottle. I think it's a "split" but I could be wrong.

[Bakemaster]

So, "handle"? Specific volume or just anything in a bottle with a handle?

vegetality.*

*It's when Raiden kills you with a leek.

In before raidenspin.com.

[Scaredcrow]

Handle's are usually 1.5 Liters (Magnum) or 1.75 Liters (Half Gallon) depending on the company. Funny thing is that a double magnum (3 Liters) does not normally have a handle. You would think the larger volume would necessitate the use of a handle for easier carrying.

[Bakemaster]

It irritates me that 1.75 liters, which is decidedly less than a half gallon, is called one anyway.

[Scaredcrow]

Same here, but it seems easier than having a bottle that is 1.89271 Liters.

[Bakemaster]

I dunno, it seems to work alright for milk and OJ. I never heard them complain.

[Mr. Mack]

I bought some Georgia Moon and tried it while writing down my thoughts, all of 'em (my ADHD took over, so I had a lot of thoughts, some even about what I was doing). I'll post my full report later

Apparently "later" is Friday. When I said I had a lot of thoughts, I meant it, about four and a half pages. I'm going to put the specific cocktail reviews in spoilers to keep the size down. Also, I shall call this "The Immature Connoisseur - Georgia Moon." Maybe it'll be the start of a series?
The Immature Connoisseur - Georgia Moon

*Hey look!*
It appears to be clear. Not really sure what else to say.

*sniff*sniff*
Sweet, corn, cornmeal, and some type of flour.

*sip*sip*
Sweet/corn flavor, followed by a dry cornmeal flavor. At this point the barley raises its hand, but I'm too busy dealing with the attention-seeking corn students. It also tastes rather strongly of Yee-haw!. Of course, Yee-haw! is an acquired taste, and as such is not for everyone.

The finish is, not surprisingly, lightning fast, but with traces of something flour-like. I guess that the flour taste is rye, but I've never been around raw rye, so I can't say for sure.

I'm sure that the sweetness is just corn. But if this stuff uses a genuine moonshine recipe, then the sweetness is also antifreeze. Since I can still see, I'm forced to assume that Heaven Hill decided that poisoning customers is bad.

*Poke it with a stick!*
When you were a kid, did you ever go to the fridge, take out a slice of bologna, and just eat it? If so, do you remember that greasy feeling it left in your mouth? Georgia Moon is a lot smoother than I expected, but that may be due to the fact that it seems to have coated my mouth with some grease like substance.

*Cocktails, whoo-ooh.
Every day all I can think of is Cocktails, whoo-ooh.*

Whiskey sour (lime):

Spoiler:

Not terrible. It kind of reminds me of lime tortilla chips. Maybe I should mix in some salsa. Then again, maybe not, it isn't that great either, but I may have gotten the ratios wrong. If you have some and you hate it too much to drink it straight, this should work. If I were to try it again, I'd skip the angostura bitters. I recommend this.

Appalachian Coffee:
It tastes like cornmeal and coffee. I can’t recommend it.

Redneck Prairie Fire:

Spoiler:

Overall, it tastes like suffering with just a hint of regret and a finish that tastes like screaming.
I kid, of course. I drank it as fast as possible due to something similar to, but not entirely unlike, fear. Now that I know it's not as bad as I would have expected, I'll try another one, slower, in a few minutes. First, I have to overcome the physiological effects of the first one. Speaking of smooth transitions.
The physiological effects are pretty interesting. Quick story.
The devil went down to Georgia. He got stuck in Atlanta traffic and decided to go back to hell to escape the heat.
My first thought was that, damn, it really warms the cockles of your heart. From there it proceeds to warm the cockles of every other internal organ and the cockles of my neighbors' hearts. After the warmth died down, I suddenly felt as if somebody had punched me in the heart. Not the chest, the heart. That eventually melted into nothing but an upset stomach. I think that Pepto-Bismol would be an appropriate chaser.

Now for a second shot, done much slower so I'll actually know what it tastes like.
*gulp*
ow. . .
Ow. . .
Owwwwwwwww. . .I just remembered that I'm sensitive to spicy.
Downing a pint (473 mL) of ice water seems to be sufficient to remove the majority of the pain. Before the "Gee Willikers IM GONNA DIE!!!" I noticed that this spirit actually seems to be complimented by hot sauce. Flavor-wise, that is, outside of that it still hurts. If you plan to drink a large serving of Georgia Moon neat, adding a drop of hot sauce does seem to produce an interesting Tex-Mex flavor, similar to that of, you guessed it, cornmeal and hot sauce. I recommend a diluted version of this.

Dry Manhattan:

Spoiler:

This is easily the best looking drink I've made so far. I'm not gay, so I'm hard pressed to describe the color. I guess it's sort of a dark amber/sand color. Oh, let me put it this way, if not for the smell, I'd expect it to taste like peach flavored tea. Speaking of smell, it still smells like cornmeal. I'm not sure that I want to drink this, I just put corn whiskey in a glass with dry vermouth, angostura bitters, and a lime wedge. Although dry vermouth isn't the strongest flavor out there, I still doubt that it'll compliment corn.
*sip*
Yuck
It tastes like cornmeal, vermouth, and lime. I can't recommend it. The fact that I even tried makes me doubt my sanity.
If I take a really fast sip, something strange happens. The front of my tongue picks up on the sweetness, but most of the corniness is missed until the finish. The end result is a form of confusion that surpasses what I've acquired so far from intoxication and simply not paying attention.
Maybe it's just getting late, but I'm tempted to just pour this out and move on with my life. But I'm a college student, so I can't afford to pour out alcohol just because I mixed it poorly.
*sip*
Yuck.
*sip*
Ewwwwww.
*sip*
Nasty.
The thing is, I knew this wouldn't work, but I did it anyway just so I could tell you about how badly it didn't work. I can't recommend this.
I need a water and coffee break. . .

And then I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to find that I had downed about half a jar. Outside of sleeping 12 hours, there doesn't seem to be any discernable hangover effects. Points gained on that front.

& Coke:
It tastes like cornmeal and coke. I can't recommend it.

Hillbilly Highball:

Spoiler:

I found two versions of this recipe, with pretty different ratios and garnishing. I went with the recipe for the first version I found, and I used the name from the second version. I'm laying the groundwork for a mixology soap opera. This drink is basically a shot of Georgia Moon on the rocks mixed with Mountain Dew and a lime twist. By an amazing coincidence, "Mountain Dew" was a nickname for moonshine. It's like a match made in a trailer park near Heaven. . . Hill Distillery.
Strangely enough, this actually works pretty well. The cornmeal and flour finish is still there, but overall the cornmeal taste is muted, leaving just the sweet corn flavoring. Although the corn and citrus flavor didn't knock my socks off (my shoes tend to hold them in place) this is the only drink so far where I'm actually looking forward to the next sip. I wouldn't recommend going out of your way to try this, but if you get the chance it makes for a unique and overall pleasant experience. I recommend this if convenient.

Lover's Moon:

Spoiler:

I don't think anyone would consider it a stretch of the imagination to assume that corn whiskey is enjoyed by many a homophobic men. That said, the drink currently in front of me is a very light shade of pink with an aroma that reminds me of some sort of flower/fruit basket arrangement, that contains corn. The recipe calls for a garnish of strawberries and that the whole thing be served in a mason jar, but mine is busy holding Georgia Moon. I decided to omit the strawberries (it's fruity enough as is (plus strawberries are expensive (actually the fact that strawberries are expensive was the deciding factor, I don't care how fruity it is as long as it's good))) and prepare a half serving in an old fashion glass. It looks like it should have a tiny umbrella.

Hmmm, tastes like a combination of fruit and failure. The sweetness of the whiskey works all right, but the drink does nothing with, to, or about the cornmeal and flour flavors. They stand out like a sore thumb that's been severed and left mysteriously floating around in my drink and I keep trying to drink around it instead of just pulling it out and I can't help but wonder if it has some connection to the fact that my roommate has been screaming constantly for the last couple of hours.
Any who.
I'm gonna try adding more grenadine to see if that helps.
Bleh. Now it just tastes like cornmeal and grenadine. That one splash changed the whole thing from "mild and almost good" to being the worst thing to put in your mouth that isn't attached to Paris Hilton. I'm going to throw in some more 7-up to try and fix it.

Okay, it's back to normal.
I'm probably being too hard on this one, largely because it isn't nearly as good as I had hoped. That and the god-awful journey I went through to buy that 7-up. AND the fact that this combination would work so much better with so many other spirits. Rum would be perfect for this drink. Add in some extra sugar and gin and it'd be pretty damn cool. With the obvious exception of vodka, whiskey is the last thing that should go in this. It doesn't matter if you use Bourbon, Canadian, corn, Irish, Japanese, Manx, rye, Scotch, Tennessee, Welsh, or wheat, all any of them would do is make you wish you were drinking rum instead. I'm just going to finish this off and move on to the last drink.
*gulp*
?
*gulp*
!
Holy shittles! This actually can be good. Apparently the trick is to drink it quickly like something that, you know, doesn't contain whiskey. Doing so prevents a lot of the corn flavor from having time to announce its presence. As crazy as it sounds, I actually know this flavor from my childhood. This tastes almost exactly like Fruity Pebbles. I mean, it tastes like a heartier, corn-based Fruity Pebbles, but it tastes like Fruity Pebbles none-the-less. If I had more Georgia Moon left, this would probably be the last thing I’d make with it, now that I know how to drink it.

Ahh, memories. Fruity Pebbles were my favorite as a kid. Now I'm an adult and all I have is Wal*Mart brand, multi-grain, soggy depression flakes. I guess that's why alcohol is reserved for adulthood in the first place. I recommend this.

Moontini:

Spoiler:

Moontini. As in Georgia Moon and dry Vermouth, similar to the failed (Dry) Manhattan project from earlier. But this time I had a recipe, and measurements! Anyone here have pattern recognition skills? Yes, you in the front, what do you think comes next?

"Well, you're going to tell us that it tastes like cornmeal and dry vermouth and that you can't recommend it."

That is correct, and stop trying to elbow in on my territory. Security!

"Hey wait! I just answered the question."

The vermouth seems to be suffering from stage fright. Occasionally popping up before panicking and retreating out of sight. Flavor-wise, the vermouth just isn't strong enough to stand against the onslaught of corn. Outside of the minor taste change, the most notable difference between this and Moon neat is that this doesn't finish as smoothly. I'm not sure how diluting Moon manages to make it less smooth, maybe it’s a very precisely balanced spirit.
Although I mostly can't taste the vermouth, whenever I do I start to miss the good ole' days when I didn't. It's hard to regard this as anything other than a waste of vermouth and corn whiskey. I can’t recommend it.

Conclusion:
If you're a regular whiskey/whisky drinker, then you need to try this at least once. It really helps you appreciate what aging does to a whiskey.

If you're not normally a whiskey/whisky drinker, then this isn't required sipping. But if you do get curious, the low cost of admission is easily worth it. If you fall into this category, then be sure to keep the jar as a souvenir.

If you find yourself struggling to get through a bottle, jar, whatever, then the usual rules for mixing are that it goes well with citrus or anything else that you imagine would go well with a strongly-flavored tortilla. DO NOT use angostura bitters. If you mix it with something that you know will clash, be certain that the mixer will be strong enough to overpower Moon, instead of sitting next to it.

Overall, I recommend that everyone try this spirit at least once. Some for the education it provides, but mostly for the sheer novelty of it.

Now that the review's over, could you do me a favor and, I dunno, squeal like a pig?

[Rinsaikeru]

I dunno about 500mL, but here a 375mL is called a Mickey. It can refer to any smaller bottle though so it might apply.

[Dream]

Mr. Mack, those were some excellent tasting notes.

I had a Glenrothes last night. I sent the first one back for smelling like tequila. The second one, less like tequila. But rubbish. As it turns out, I was sick, and am very sick today, so that might have been it, but I really think its just not good whisky. And it has selfconciously over styled packaging, which doesn't help. But I did match it with a good cheddar cheese, which I only rarely do with malt whisky, and that worked quite well. But I should have just ordered Glenlivet.

[clintonius]

Mr. Mack, those were some excellent tasting notes.

I wholeheartedly second this opinion. Your reviews even inspired me to pour some moon in a glass with a bit of hot sauce (I had previously been drinking straight from the mason jar, as Wilbur intended). It didn't add much, but probably because I added literally two drops and stopped because it wasn't mixing well.

So, I worked about 7 hours of overtime a couple weeks ago, which was reflected on today's pay check -- and I spent every goddamn dime of it at the booze store. I picked up another bottle of Georgia Moon, a bottle of Ciroc (never tried it; have heard good things), two varieties of Triple Eight vodka (the cranberry and citrus ones), a bottle of Sazerac, and a bottle of Knappogue. That last one's got me excited. I've been meaning to try various lesser-known Irish whiskeys ever since I discovered Bushmills a couple years ago.

[the_stabbage]

Names for traditional bottle sizes. These have been a standard since the late 70's.

Miniature (Nip) 50mL
Half Pint 200mL
Pint 500mL
Fifth 750mL
Quart 1 Liter
Half Gallon 1.75 Liters

I am still trying to find out the name for a 375mL bottle. I think it's a "split" but I could be wrong.

Round here the standard liquor bottle size is 750ml, and we call it a two-six. 375ml is a mickey, 1.14L is a forty, 1.75 is a sixty. Anything below a mickey doesn't deserve a name.

We also call those comically large 2.5L or 3L or 4.5L bottles "texas mickeys". Once some dudes from my university killed a texas mickey in a night and kept a goldfish in it. The goldfish died, but was given a viking funeral. Burning paper boat spinning round the maelstrom (toilet bowl).

[asad137]

*Cocktails, whoo-ooh.
Every day all I can think of is Cocktails, whoo-ooh.*

Was it intended to read this while singing the Ducktales theme? Because that's what I did.

Asad

[aleflamedyud]

Oh Scotch. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! One sip, two sips, three sips... etc.

Honestly I just like basically any real Scotch -- even cheap ones.

Now for something you actually need to pay a lump for... wine and/or rum. Both good if you're willing to actually forgo a new video game (or two, or three... wine is bloody expensive) to buy booze.

[clintonius]

While I'm appalled at your apparent disregard for good scotch, that feeling is mitigated by curiosity -- what kind of rum do you drink? I got my start on rum, and it holds a special place in my heart (liver).

Also, re the abovementioned Knappogue: last night when I was drunk it tasted like candy apple flavoring. I just poured another sip, and sure enough, it tastes like candy apple flavoring. Not candied apples, mind you, but the flavoring used in those little candies. I can't think of their name -- little things, about the size of tootsie rolls, I think. They're small, and chewy, and they taste like "candied apple." That's what this smells and tastes like, with a very slight peat/smoke taste on the finish. VERY slight.

I like it, but it's worlds away from what I expected.

And goddammit, what are those little candies called? Now I can't find them anywhere (though a quick google search did reveal this). Help?

[Bakemaster]

Everyone be awed and jealous: It's my birthday on Wednesday and PictureSarah has already given me a bottle of Macallan 12-year with which to celebrate. You should all be so lucky. I'll be sure to do some proper notes this time.

[Mr. Mack]

Mr. Mack, those were some excellent tasting notes.

I wholeheartedly second this opinion. Your reviews even inspired me to pour some moon in a glass with a bit of hot sauce (I had previously been drinking straight from the mason jar, as Wilbur intended). It didn't add much, but probably because I added literally two drops and stopped because it wasn't mixing well.

Thank you both for the kind words! And clintonius, some recipes can be found here. The Cornhusker Deluxe and Moon Light drinks follow the hot sauce pattern, and I'd bet that Georgia Swamp Water would be pretty good, but I didn't actually try any of those specific drinks (I ran out before I could ).
Tasting notes are fun, maybe I'll do it again. Although I'm drinking Wild Turkey at the moment and I'm pretty sure everybody already knows what that tastes like.

Was it intended to read this while singing the Ducktales theme? Because that's what I did.

Yep. But when I went to double check I discovered that they never say that line. My childhood memories lied to me, again.

Everyone be awed and jealous: It's my birthday on Wednesday and PictureSarah has already given me a bottle of Macallan 12-year with which to celebrate. You should all be so lucky. I'll be sure to do some proper notes this time.

Awed and jealous? Done and done.
So, why isn't is spelled MacAllan?

[asad137]

Was it intended to read this while singing the Ducktales theme? Because that's what I did.

Yep. But when I went to double check I discovered that they never say that line. My childhood memories lied to me, again.

It's actually "Every day they're out there makin'...DuckTales! Woo-ooh!" Your version has too many syllables

Asad

[Dream]

Everyone be awed and jealous: It's my birthday on Wednesday and PictureSarah has already given me a bottle of Macallan 12-year with which to celebrate. You should all be so lucky. I'll be sure to do some proper notes this time.

Yeah, I'm pretty jealous. Next time I own a bottle of malt whisky will be after I leave Australia, land of the fucking high whisky prices. But, I want you to give PictureSarah an extra hug for getting the 12 year old Macallan. Cause the ten year old is an abomination of scotch, and as such she loves you far more than just the two year difference, and also has excellent good taste. Bravo!

[Mr. Mack]

I just finish typing up some tasting notes for Wild Turkey 101. Does anyone care to read them, or should I post them somewhere that isn't here?

Everyone be awed and jealous: It's my birthday on Wednesday and PictureSarah has already given me a bottle of Macallan 12-year with which to celebrate. You should all be so lucky. I'll be sure to do some proper notes this time.

Yeah, I'm pretty jealous. Next time I own a bottle of malt whisky will be after I leave Australia, land of the fucking high whisky prices. But, I want you to give PictureSarah an extra hug for getting the 12 year old Macallan. Cause the ten year old is an abomination of scotch, and as such she loves you far more than just the two year difference, and also has excellent good taste. Bravo!

Is their cask strength any good? I saw the spider diagram for it on their website and it looked like it might be good, and Christmas is coming and everything.

[clintonius]

After your last review? I'd read your tasting notes on Burnett's vodka.

I don't really recommend the Macallan cask. I wish I could remember something more specific, but it's been almost two years since I've had it. It just didn't do it for me. However, if you decide to try it anyways, let us know how it goes. I'd be interested in either backing up my position or trying it again.

[Mr. Mack]

I don't really recommend the Macallan cask. I wish I could remember something more specific, but it's been almost two years since I've had it. It just didn't do it for me. However, if you decide to try it anyways, let us know how it goes. I'd be interested in either backing up my position or trying it again.

I don't think I'll try it. It costs the same as Booker's Bourbon, which I've heard great things about. All I've heard about Macallan is what you just wrote, which fails to qualify as great.

After your last review? I'd read your tasting notes on Burnett's vodka.

Considering my feelings towards vodka, that would probably be hilarious. That's also great to hear. I was thinking about booze blogging over at thatguywiththeglasses.com (the Nostalgia Critic drinks Jack Daniels, that poor lost soul). But first I wanted input from nicer people that are better informed.
I'll use spoiler tags again to avoid using too much space.

The Immature Connoisseur - Wild Turkey 101
"Because reality sucks and should go away."

Wild Turkey 101 is the first really good bourbon for most people. Jim Beam isn't very good, and Jack Daniels isn't bourbon, but everyone tries Wild Turkey before they turn 30. Most of these people are just trying to get drunk, instead of actually enjoying their bourbon. Of course, Old Thompson or Barton Vodka will get you drunk, so why spend so much more on Wild Turkey 101 (outside of popularity)?

Personally, when I first turned 21, I was a regular Alvin York, killing off Wild Turkeys left and right, but mostly to the front, as it's difficult to pour bourbon into the side of my face. For those of you who care not for history or old movies, Alvin York was, hell you have internet, you can look him up if you care. Although the opening joke isn't the type that works in retrospect, so all you stand to gain by looking him up is knowledge, the power that accompanies that knowledge, and the awe-inspiring genitalia found on everyone familiar with Alvin York. Well, almost everyone. . .

Long story short, well, it's a little late for that.
Since Wild Turkey 101 is where I started my whiskey/whisky adventure, it seems a fitting place to start my reviewing adventure.

*Hey look!*
Kind of an orange-ish dark amber color.

*sniff*sniff*
Sweetness abound with a strong vanilla, warm caramel, and maple syrup. There’s also nuttiness, oak, a hint of charcoal, and leather (?). As the amount in the glass decreases, the leather smell increases. I hope it doesn’t end up tasting like leather later on. Ever chewed on a belt? Me either, there’s a reason for that.

*drip*drip*sniff*sniff*
The nuttiness is a lot stronger now. As is the fruit and the charcoal oak.

*sip*sip*
The sweet vanilla flavor hits first and hardest. Dried fruit, apricot maybe.
Caramel and oak hit next, charcoal and more oak. It’s pretty well balanced. The finish is well above average length and tastes of caramel and nut.

*drip*drip*sip*sip*
Caramel and fruit is stronger. There's a also pepper flavor that I didn't notice before.
The word "delicious" just came to mind.

*Poke it with a stick!*
It burns a little on the tongue and quite a bit during the finish. Wild Turkey doesn't make it a secret that what you just drank is mostly alcohol, but it doesn't burn as much as one would expect.
The texture is good, thick but not too thick.

*Cocktails* (perhaps a rather unpleasant euphemism for anal sex?)
Wild Turkey's website doesn't include any recipes. How peculiar. Perhaps they're offended that someone may want to mix their whiskey with something else. Most of the Wild Turkey specific drinks on other websites basically consist of mixing it with various amounts of Bacardi 151, Everclear, and blindness. And with names like Bull Sweat, Crack Pipe, Gorilla Fart, Vomit Juice #2, and Death Wish, I think it's safe to say those aren't really the tastiest of drinks. So, I'm just gonna whip up some pretty standard drinks.

On the Rocks:

Spoiler:

An old-fashioned glass with three ice cubes and enough bourbon to cover them. I feel like putting on a fedora and pretending to be Humphrey Bogart. Of course, this doesn‘t add any flavor, but it makes me look awesome and it's very refreshing. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, called alcoholism (everyone needs a hobby).

As the ice melts the drink becomes smoother, but also weaker, but also also more flavors open up. I wasn't really paying attention, but I'm pretty sure that my last sip finished with a creamy honey flavor. If I have any left over, I'll be sure to try this again.
And again and again and again.
I strongly recommend this.

& Coke:

Spoiler:

Another day, another highball. This was made with a 1:5 ratio.

Something about this just turned out awful. It isn't that the flavors are clashing, it seems like they're combining into something terrible. The sweetness of both drinks is gone and instead there's a terrible finishing flavor. I guess I'd describe it as musk and leather, but really it just tastes like it started to rot.
I just tried cutting the amount of Wild Turkey in half (1:10), it still doesn't work.
This is a waste of Wild Turkey and Coke.
I can't recommend it.

Coffee:
I wanted some coffee. Wild Turkey is mostly alcohol, so it's kind of hard to not get really sleepy really fast.
The coffee was okay. A little more bitter than I care for. Although you probably want me to talk about mixed drinks.

Kentucky Coffee:

Spoiler:

In order to properly make a whiskey/whisky coffee, you have to pour cream onto the back of a spoon in order to float the cream on the coffee/sugar/whiskey/whisky concoction. After doing so, you'll have a strange urge to lick the remaining cream off of the spoon. Having just licked cream off of a spoon, I can honestly advise against such an action.

The cream has formed a lovely vein-less marble texture that almost makes me want to refrain from drinking it. Then I remember that my bourbon is at the bottom and I have a rescue operation to conduct.

I can taste a little bit of the coffee and cream, but mostly I'm just getting more of that musty leathery finish. I'm going to have to pour the rest out. A college student pouring out alcohol? That’s pretty bad.
I can't recommend this.

I think I'm starting to see why Wild Turkey's website didn't include any recipes.

Old Fashioned:

Spoiler:

Some say that the old-fashioned was the first cocktail ever invented. So, of course, people argue about it online.

Water v. Club Soda
No fruit v. garnished with fruit v. Muddled fruit
No bitters v. angostura bitters.

Personally, I'm inclined towards the last options. That's how the first old-fashioned I ever had was made. But for the sake of thoroughness, I‘ll try the two most popular variations.

This is pretty awesome. It's like bourbon candy (ever heard of whiskey sauce?). The sweetness has been ramped up quite a bit, and the finish is bitter now (probably because of the club soda (in case you didn't know, angostura bitters aren't really bitter, that's just a name. It's actually more of a "brown spice" flavor). It kind of feels like I'm drinking some bad-ass, old western fruit salad. I recommend this. But if you actually go into a bar and order an old-fashioned, they probably won't muddle the fruit, and old-fashioned aficionados claim that only pure water will work, not club soda. So let's try that next.

Oh, and most of the booze sinks to the bottom of the glass, so the last sip'll really knock your shirt in the dirt. Not only the booze, but most of the sugar and fruit flavors as well. I just got kicked in the tongue with flavor! And I enjoyed it immensely.
To reiterate, I recommend this.

Distilled water, un-muddled fruit, Old-Fashioned:

Spoiler:

Hold on, I'm still mixing the sugar, water, and bitters. Mmm, smells like ginger, cinnamon, and some sort of zest. Oh, and sugar.

Sweeter, smoother, and now has a taste of ginger and other brown spices. The slightly bitter finish of the earlier club soda old-fashioned is gone. Although an improvement in that regard, this is, overall, not as much of a change when compared to the previous old-fashioned. The previous one was like whiskey mixed with fresh fruit juice, but this one is like whiskey version 1.1. It's an upgrade, but I'm not entirely convinced that this is a huge improvement. I wish I had muddled the fruit. If I have any WT left over, I'll be sure to try water and muddled fruit.

I recommend this if Wild Turkey is too strong and not sweet enough for you or if you want to make the joke, "I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy."

In regards to the earlier debate, some even suggest using ginger ale. But if I was going to use ginger ale, I'd just make a Presbyterian. Speaking of smooth transitions.

Presbyterian:

Spoiler:

Depending on who you ask, a Presbyterian is made with ginger ale and either cola or club soda. I'm inclined to use club soda, because I saw that recipe first. More to the point, if it doesn't work well here, and it didn't work well with Coke before, then it seems unlikely that it'll work well with ginger ale and Coke.

Everything about a Presbyterian just screams mild. Highballs tend to be fairly mild. This one is made with a combination of club soda and ginger ale, resulting in what is basically a watered-down version of ginger ale as a mixer. By contrast, nothing about Wild Turkey says mild. Wild Turkey kicks your ass, tries to have sex with your ex, and then calls you the next day to remind you about it. So combining the two seems pretty retarded. There's also the issue of what type of whiskey actually goes in a Presbyterian (the drink, not a person who happens to be Presbyterian). I've read that rye is the standard, but Canadian works well too and bourbon works just fine.

Not this bourbon. The sweetness is gone. All that's left is a bitter ginger flavor with a hint of the earlier oaky goodness. Also, I am now sure that WT contains a hint of leather, because that's now the predominate flavor in the finish. That and bitterness. I don't know what went wrong, but something went REALLY wrong. As in, "I just went to my kitchen to make sure none of the ingredients expired" wrong.
Oh, and the ingredients aren’t expired.
I can't recommend this.

Whiskey sour (lime):

Spoiler:

There are a ton of whiskey sour recipes out there. Earlier I used the generic recipe, but it didn't seem to work. Right now I'm using the Emeril recipe, because I want to.

There is a bit of a musty flavor being brought out, but it isn't too severe. With some of the more standard recipes that I tried earlier, the must flavor dominated pretty much everything else, well, everything except leather. Although I may not have been feeling all too well. But that could have just been the result of sobering up while awake.
Anywho.
I love this drink. Sweet, but not too sweet. Sour, but my face didn't implode. The whiskey works with the flavors instead of near them. My only issue is that it's a little sticky and I should have let the ice melt a little more. Outside of that, I highly recommend this.

Cherokee:

Spoiler:

This is the only Wild Turkey specific highball recipe I could find. It involves shaking up a carbonated beverage. Sounds brilliant, eh? But the name seemed strange. Why would anyone name a cocktail "Cherokee"?
Does this drink have a sovereign nation in Oklahoma?
Does it look like the type of rose?
Is it made from boiled yaupon?
Is it so bad it causes people to cry all the way home, thus leaving a trail of tears?
How big of an asshole am I for making such an insensitive joke?

Here’s the answer key.
"Nobody knows"
"No, idiot"
"Oddly enough, a little. The foam never died down and the ice happened to fall into the perfect position. But there's no yellow and too much pink."
"No, idiot"
"No, asshole"
"Seven. Insensitivity is considered a passive act."

I'm certainly not going to cry all the way home (I'm already home), but this isn't half bad. More like 3/8 bad (375 milli-sucks). Just like the other highballs, a leather flavor is added to the finish, and it‘s bitter as well. There's also that musty taste at the start and surprisingly little sweetness.
HOWEVER!
It isn't as bad as the other drinks, but it still isn't very good. Although I'm not hating this, I'm not enjoying it all that much.
I don't recommend this.

Conclusion:

Spoiler:

If you’re a fan of bourbon, then you already know to drink this.

If you want to become a fan of bourbon, this is a pretty good place to start. The flavor is great, and you can drink it on ice if the alcohol is too strong.

If you’re not a fan of any kind of whiskey or whisky, then this won’t change your mind.

If you’re a fan of getting drunk, then Wild Turkey’ll do that. But something in plastic on the bottom shelf will also get you drunk. In fact, a plastic jug, bottom shelf liquor will get you more alcohol per dollar, more alcohol in all, lower price in all, and some of them mix better. Wild Turkey is too pricey for just getting drunk.

The general guidelines for mixing are to avoid highballs at all costs, but lowballs are very good. Although I didn’t try any martini-style drinks, I think it’d work well. If you’re just looking to make shots, the only advice I can provide is “try not to die.” Although that’s true most of the time.

Conclusion in six words:
Wild Turkey, fuck yeah! (passes out)

[Dream]

Well, we've successfully created a booze reviewing monster. I think we can all pat ourselves on the back, job very, very well done. The real challenge, however, is just beginning.... getting it to kill Robert Parker! <thunderclap><evil laughter>

[Amarantha]

Can we now look forward to the Immature Connoisseur Blog?

[Matt]

Oh wow.

Can we suggest spirits for next week's edition?

[Red Hal]

Springbank 15y/o My favourite. I'm also partial to (gasp! kill the heathen) Jura.

[MotorToad]

After your last review? I'd read your tasting notes on Burnett's vodka.

I don't really recommend the Macallan cask. I wish I could remember something more specific, but it's been almost two years since I've had it. It just didn't do it for me. However, if you decide to try it anyways, let us know how it goes. I'd be interested in either backing up my position or trying it again.

My experience with cask strength (one bottle) is that it's better if you add a significant amount of water to it. Basically enough to dilute it to 80-90 proof. So you're more or less getting Scotch Concentrate ^TM and perhaps saving a couple of bucks for them not having to ship 150 ml of water across the ocean.

[Mr. Mack]

Well, we've successfully created a booze reviewing monster. I think we can all pat ourselves on the back, job very, very well done. The real challenge, however, is just beginning.... getting it to kill Robert Parker! <thunderclap><evil laughter>

*sigh* I wish I could write just one thing online without getting sucked into an international conspiracy to assassinate an oenophile.

Can we now look forward to the Immature Connoisseur Blog?

I'll try to get something official up and running after Thanksgiving, but I have finals next week. After that, I'll definitely be drinking as much as possible ("I can't believe I put -sin(2x) for #3!" *glug*glug*glug*).
I'll probably set it up at thatguywiththeglasses.com, unless I think of a better place for it.

Oh wow.

Can we suggest spirits for next week's edition?

Absolutely, all suggestions are welcome regardless of adherence to the bounds of reason. Of course I'm more likely to review more affordable things, but all suggestions are welcome. Although I'll probably review spirits in the same seasonal rotation that I drink in. Rum in Spring, gin in Summer, whiskey throughout fall and winter, and vodka never ("no sir, I don't like it" said the horse).
Currently I'm planing to review Old Overholt Rye post-finals, and maybe a review of W.L. Weller's if I have any left. Oh, and stuff that's awful and/or popular.

My experience with cask strength (one bottle) is that it's better if you add a significant amount of water to it. Basically enough to dilute it to 80-90 proof. So you're more or less getting Scotch Concentrate ^TM and perhaps saving a couple of bucks for them not having to ship 150 ml of water across the ocean.

I love the term Scotch Concentrate and wish to wed it immediately. Or steal it, I haven't decided yet.

[Dream]

Well, we've successfully created a booze reviewing monster. I think we can all pat ourselves on the back, job very, very well done. The real challenge, however, is just beginning.... getting it to kill Robert Parker! <thunderclap><evil laughter>

*sigh* I wish I could write just one thing online without getting sucked into an international conspiracy to assassinate an oenophile.

Nope. Never. Very naive to even think it.

Can we now look forward to the Immature Connoisseur Blog?

I'll try to get something official up and running after Thanksgiving, but I have finals next week. After that, I'll definitely be drinking as much as possible ("I can't believe I put -sin(2x) for #3!" *glug*glug*glug*).
I'll probably set it up at thatguywiththeglasses.com, unless I think of a better place for it.

That is the perfect url for a booze blog. It's genius.

[Matt]

Absolutely, all suggestions are welcome regardless of adherence to the bounds of reason. Of course I'm more likely to review more affordable things, but all suggestions are welcome. Although I'll probably review spirits in the same seasonal rotation that I drink in. Rum in Spring, gin in Summer, whiskey throughout fall and winter, and vodka never ("no sir, I don't like it" said the horse).
Currently I'm planing to review Old Overholt Rye post-finals, and maybe a review of W.L. Weller's if I have any left. Oh, and stuff that's awful and/or popular.

Oh fantastic, I have a half-finished bottle of each of those. We can compare notes. You ought to go quest for the tastiest non-bank-breaking cognac, by the way. There are apparently tons of bottles I see in the store that the internet has never heard of.

I had made a sort of bastard Georgia julep for a friend of mine last week and the Weller, Apry, and Peychaud's were down in the kitchen for no other reason besides I was too lazy to take them upstairs. I was out of lemons but I had a ton of limes. So I decided to open up Forgotten Cocktails and sure enough, there was the Pendennis. I got the last bit of Plymouth out of the cupboard and had at it:

2 oz gin
1 oz apricot brandy (or peach, if you swing that way)
2-3 dashes Peychaud's Bitters
3/4 oz or about half a lime's worth of juice
shake and strain, cocktail glass

Plymouth is wonderful at rounding edges. The apricot took the foreground. I've got to stop refrigerating my limes, because they get very bitter on the finish whenever I do. The sweet and the tart plus the bitters gave it a sort of light, tart throat drop quality. It was a very pleasant drink; it's obviously very similar to the Pegu Club but I would venture to guess it's much gentler and more fruity. It might be very different with a London Dry.

[Bakemaster]

Sarah and I had a lovely dinner at a French-Cambodian restaurant on Friday and afterward came home to do a proper tasting of the Macallan 12-Year. And as a special bonus, we followed up with Gosling's Black Seal Rum, which was new to both of us (though I really enjoy a Dark & Stormy, I haven't yet made it with its official rum). Mr. Mack, you are a bad influence, we got a little wordy and pretentious. Unfortunately neither of us knows much about tasting notes and so the result is probably horrendous, but we had fun with our bathrobes and candlelight and classy computer monitors covered in Google image results for "private study desktop".

The Macallan 12 Year-Old Sherry Oak Scotch

Spoiler:

_MG_0306.jpg (17.97 KiB) Viewed 2844 times

The Bung
I love the word "bung". A crisp, young, cheeky "POP!" No masculine "toongh" here.

Bottlenose (tee hee, dolphins)
Bakemaster: Strong scent of figs at first, and a recognizable scotch smell coming afterward. Not a very strong smell of alcohol.
PictureSarah: First sherry, then apricots, and after a while the figs. The scotch smell is there, but the alcohol is not, really.

First Pour, Nose
B: Here's the alcohol, and a bit of apple.
PS: In the glass, I get a leather and honey smell.
B: I can smell the honey, now that I'm looking for it.

Sip
B: Fairly smooth and mild, for 86-proof. The vanilla comes in slowly afterward.
PS: Caramel. Delicious alcoholic cake. It warms up over time, and I taste wood smoke and butterscotch; sherry aftertaste. No peat to speak of.

Indulge
B: After pouring some more into the glass, I can really smell the vanilla. This is a very mild scotch, not masculine except by virtue of being Scotch to begin with—but not bad tasting. The fruitiest Scotch I have tasted, certainly, though not at all citrus or berry, more mellow and rich than bright or crisp.
PS: After tasting and having read the reviews, I can see why people say this is "popular with the ladies", and I think it has to do with the lack of peat. It smells so good, like butterscotch. I am not really a Scotch person, but this is definitely my favorite Scotch.
B: I'm finding it hard to pin down a central flavor, and unless I hold it on the back of my tongue it doesn't even have a strong Scotch character. There's a lot more nuance and character in the finish than up front, but even then it feels undeveloped. Very drinkable, a nice aroma, but not very commanding.
PS: I think butterscotch is definitely the dominant flavor that I get. I don't know if it's supposed to be like that, but I like it. I think it sounds a little more dignified to call it toffee, which is pretty much the same thing.

Conclusion
PS:I think that this would be a lovely after-dinner Scotch, or a Scotch to share with girlfriends, or a significant other. I agree that it's not the most manly of Scotches, but when one is sitting with one's significant other, it shouldn't be like Braveheart. Mellow is good sometimes.
B: This is a Scotch that I can see myself keeping in the cabinet to drink at home with family and close friends, on a night when I feel like having a drink only to accentuate a comfortable mood. It's not strong enough for poignant nostalgia, just warm and toasty, and would do well as a second chair to conversation or a wandering mind, but not as an inspirational soloist. It's not a Scotch I would drink at a bar or party; not with live music or a rowdy bunch of men. Maybe at the poker table, if it's a serious game and I don't want to be distracted. It's a good Scotch to share with the girl, as her notes might indicate. She says, "How YOU doin'?" I can't see this improving with any added water, as mild as it is already, so I'll leave it here.

Gosling Black Seal Bermuda Rum Bonus Tipsynotes (as typed by Sarah):

Spoiler:

Alex - Smells sweet, like candy almost.
Sarah - Smells like rum. With nailpolish remover.
Alex - Brown sugar. Maybe a hint of the molasses that dark rum is supposed to taste like, but mostly brown sugar.
Sarah - Tastes considerably better than I expected from the smell. Tastes like molasses.
Alex - Tastes fairly inoffensive. Soft, warm, syrupy mouthfeel. That's right, *mouthfeel*. (now he's making weird faces) ...Ginger.

Unfortunately I had no ginger beer at hand, but I'll try the "official" Dark & Stormy some time this week. Would also like to report as of earlier tonight that this rum tastes excellent in an orange-y herbal tea with honey. Also tried Hurricane Rum last night, by the makers of my personal favorite gin (Gale Force Gin), and was pleased—it's a gold rum with more than a hint of bourbon flavor.

[Dream]

Ok, I can't make out from the picture what finish the whisky is, but I assume it's the "Fine Oak"? If so, I am stealing your tasting notes to repeat them to all of my whisky customers. They're on the ball, well articulated and informative. Very good work If you were to write up the Black Seal in similar detail I'd be very grateful, cause I've never seen that behind a bar anywhere, so I never got to try it.

[Bakemaster]

This particular bottle is from the Sherry Oak set. Credit for the discriminating palate goes fully to Sarah, as she can taste and name at least twice as many flavors as I when we drink together. I blame society!

[Dream]

Damn, I only stock the Fine Oak, and I don't have space for anything new at the moment. Oh well. Also, Yeah! Society has the liquor problem! Not Me!

[PictureSarah]

I'm pretty sure I can see more colors than him too, definitely sure I can name more colors, and pretty sure I have a better sense of smell...I can't decide if I'm just that more environmentally sensitive, or it's that girls are more trained to be able to pick up on and describe things.

Anyway, liquor. The Macallan is tasty, I likes!

[Mr. Mack]

Oh fantastic, I have a half-finished bottle of each of those. We can compare notes.

As I was drinking the Weller's, I thought to myself, "Self, you should get out your memo pad and jot down some tasting notes." But instead, I didn't. All I can remember is that I thought it was in the same league as Wild Turkey (I have trouble not comparing) but more subtle. More than I care for, actually. I also thought that it tasted kind of musty, but later decided that I was just using a dusty glass that had sat around too long in my parents' 100-year old house. Antique dust, yeah, that's not disgusting at all. I have half a bottle left, so I'll try again with a clean glass late Friday or Saturday.

You ought to go quest for the tastiest non-bank-breaking cognac, by the way. There are apparently tons of bottles I see in the store that the internet has never heard of.

I'm still surprised that cognac's as affordable as it is. But considering my lack of experience or a proper snifter I'd probably start with some cheaper domestic brandies so I could get my bearings.

So I decided to open up Forgotten Cocktails and sure enough, there was the Pendennis. I got the last bit of Plymouth out of the cupboard and had at it:

I found a different recipe here and a variation. How much of the flavor comes from the gin? Can I use something cheap and mixable like Gordon's, should I use something stronger like Broker's (my favorite so far), or do I need to bite the bullet, buy Plymouth, and then get lead poisoning from that damn bullet?

Mr. Mack, you are a bad influence, we got a little wordy and pretentious. Unfortunately neither of us knows much about tasting notes and so the result is probably horrendous, but we had fun with our bathrobes and candlelight and classy computer monitors covered in Google image results for "private study desktop".

If you had fun, then wouldn't that make me a good influence?
But seriously, I think you did a great job. I finished reading your notes and now I really want to try those spirits. I guarantee that I'll be trying that rum come spring and I really want to try that Scotch as soon as possible.

Oh, and for anybody's that curious, here's a link to where I posted the Wild Turkey review. It's the exact same review that's on here, so there's really no reason to click on it.