Time to get confrontational about peanut butter

Apparently, people like to eat.

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xooll
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Time to get confrontational about peanut butter

Postby xooll » Thu May 17, 2007 1:07 am UTC

(inspired by the banana/peanut butter thread)

Choose your side, and let the battle begin:

Creamy or Chunky?
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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Thu May 17, 2007 1:14 am UTC

...


Chunky. Anyone who disagrees is a monster.
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Postby Strychnos » Thu May 17, 2007 1:15 am UTC

Chunky. Hella chunky.
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Postby PS_Mouse » Thu May 17, 2007 1:17 am UTC

Funny you should mention that Pesh.
Personally, I like long walks on the beach, smooth peanut butter and systematically eroding the human soul.

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Postby aldimond » Thu May 17, 2007 1:19 am UTC

Peshmerga wrote:...


Chunky. Anyone who disagrees is a monster.


QFT.

And not just chunky peanut butter, but the good kind of chunky peanut butter without hydrogenated oils.

On a sammich with bananas, honey and almonds, made with a rough, sprouty bread.
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Postby xooll » Thu May 17, 2007 1:27 am UTC

I've always been a creamy peanut butter man myself, but lately circumstance has forced me to use chunky. For pbj, this is wretched. For pbh (the "h" representing honey. Or Planck's constant, if you prefer.) the chunky is actually preferable, though...

I am very conflicted.
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Postby NightStar » Thu May 17, 2007 1:32 am UTC

I've been semi-quoted in a thread title...w00t!

I prefer smooth...chunky confuses my mouth. It's like, smooth tastiness...HARD CRUNCHY PART!...smooth tastiness...HARD CRUNCHY PART! That's just too much textural craziness.
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Postby Belial » Thu May 17, 2007 1:35 am UTC

Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!
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Postby Gelsamel » Thu May 17, 2007 1:36 am UTC

Either way.
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Postby aldimond » Thu May 17, 2007 1:39 am UTC

Assuming we're talking about the same "natural" peanut butter, I think it tastes much more peanutty and less buttery. I also think the texture is more becoming of something I'd want to ingest.

I ate tons of normal hydrogenated oil-laden peanut butter up to a few years ago, and I doubt I'd have any trouble eating tons of it now, but I haven't bought any for ages.
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Postby Anmorata » Thu May 17, 2007 1:40 am UTC

Ooh, definitely creamy, as of late (due to a myriad of reasons, including but not limited to dental work). But all in all, just hand over the peanut butter and no one gets hurt.
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Postby SpitValve » Thu May 17, 2007 1:44 am UTC

Just to get extra contraversial, here we don't call them creamy or chunky. Here we call them smooth or crunchy.

And Crunchy is the winner.

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Postby Ren » Thu May 17, 2007 1:48 am UTC

Belial wrote:Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!


Yes, yes, and FUCK YES.
My friend always has a jar of chunky organic peanut butter in the studio, and he is always going on about it, and I've tried it and it's gross. GROSS. When you have to stir it first before you can eat it, because all the oil has risen to the top? When it doesn't spread properly? When it leaves you feeling like you've eaten too many stale peanuts? When it covers up the delicious taste of blackberry jelly in a sandwich?
Yech.

Chunky and processed, thank you very much.
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Postby MFHodge » Thu May 17, 2007 2:46 am UTC

I'm split at about 70/30 in favor of smooth/creamy. I haven't made a PBJ in a while . . .

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Postby ArchangelShrike » Thu May 17, 2007 2:49 am UTC

Restaurants I've worked at use chunky. If restaurants use it, it must be better...

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Postby The LuigiManiac » Thu May 17, 2007 2:52 am UTC

Smooth and processed, I love it with honey, and I don't like jelly.

(I'm a picky eater)
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Postby The Sleeping Tyrant » Thu May 17, 2007 2:56 am UTC

Smooth.

Chunky poses too many problems for me. Least of all my limited spreading prowess means it takes much longer than it should.

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Postby Lani » Thu May 17, 2007 3:03 am UTC

Creamy for cooking, either for eating on toast.
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Postby TheTankengine » Thu May 17, 2007 3:22 am UTC

I haven't eaten peanut butter from a jar in at least 2 years. My friend margaret made a double layer chocolate cake with peanut butter chips in the middle for for my friend's birthday a couple weeks ago and it was fucking delicious.

Thus, I only eat peanut butter chips. I guess that would have to be classified as smooth :(
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Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Thu May 17, 2007 3:26 am UTC

Chunky for the win.

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Postby apricity » Thu May 17, 2007 3:26 am UTC

Chunky is WAY better.

Unless you have very crumbly bread.
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Postby warriorness » Thu May 17, 2007 4:02 am UTC

Ren wrote:
Belial wrote:Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!


Yes, yes, and FUCK YES.
My friend always has a jar of chunky organic peanut butter in the studio, and he is always going on about it, and I've tried it and it's gross. GROSS. When you have to stir it first before you can eat it, because all the oil has risen to the top? When it doesn't spread properly? When it leaves you feeling like you've eaten too many stale peanuts? When it covers up the delicious taste of blackberry jelly in a sandwich?
Yech.


What, this kind?

Image

No way! That's the best kind! If you don't have to stir it, then it's not real peanut butter. Now, "organic" peanut butter is a totally different story. I can't stand that shit - just hearing the phrase itself brings back memory of the bad taste.

I'm a chunky person by the way. When I was a kid, I wouldn't touch chunky with a ten foot pole, but my tastes have matured since then (just like how when I was a kid I couldn't tell the difference between hershey's and the finest belgian chocolate if it came up and cut my arms off).
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Postby Belial » Thu May 17, 2007 4:04 am UTC

What, this kind?

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Yes. Sweet Geb YES. That shit is awful. It tastes like eating wet, peanut-flavoured *sand*.
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Postby warriorness » Thu May 17, 2007 4:06 am UTC

*cries*
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Postby Jach » Thu May 17, 2007 4:10 am UTC

Personally I'll take whatever's given to me (except perhaps organic; I've never tasted the stuff but it sounds like I don't want to). But if I have to choose at a grocery store... I'd probably go with the creamy.

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Postby Berge » Thu May 17, 2007 4:12 am UTC

Chunky peanut butter is excellent if the roof of your mouth is some sort of ultra reinforced resilient flesh. But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you raptor?

As a human, I find it causes pain when not consumed with the proper caution. And do you want to have to be careful while eating peanut butter? Assuredly not.
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Postby Tractor » Thu May 17, 2007 4:24 am UTC

So...many...misguided 'crunchy' lovers.

Creamy, bitches!
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Postby Belial » Thu May 17, 2007 4:26 am UTC

Chunky peanut butter is excellent if the roof of your mouth is some sort of ultra reinforced resilient flesh. But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you raptor?


Some of us have flesh on the tops of our mouths, and not rice paper. But you wouldn't know about that, would you, pansy?
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Postby Tractor » Thu May 17, 2007 4:28 am UTC

Belial wrote:Some of us have flesh on the tops of our mouths, and not rice paper. But you wouldn't know about that, would you, pansy?


And the gauntlet(claw-sheath?) has been thrown. :shock:
Peanut butter fight!
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Postby Berge » Thu May 17, 2007 4:36 am UTC

I may have quite literally bitten off more than I can chew with this one.
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Postby Phenriz » Thu May 17, 2007 4:50 am UTC

i prefer creamy peanut butter, but i also like 1 layer of bread saturated with jelly, so what do i know?
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Postby Tractor » Thu May 17, 2007 4:51 am UTC

Phenriz wrote:i prefer creamy peanut butter, but i also like 1 layer of bread saturated with jelly, so what do i know?


You forgot the Fluff in there...
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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Thu May 17, 2007 5:07 am UTC

Crunchy, and natural.

Ingredients: Peanuts

THANK you. Even better, it's CHEAPER than the 'normal' kind.
Berge wrote:As a human, I find it causes pain when not consumed with the proper caution. And do you want to have to be careful while eating peanut butter? Assuredly not.

Of course not, because we're not prepubescent girls with brittle bone disease and a pink unicorn fetish.

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Postby NightStar » Thu May 17, 2007 5:41 am UTC

SEE? See what happens when you get controversial about peanut butter? Warriorness is crying in the corner, and Belial's about to start eating flesh instead of chunky.
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Postby niko7865 » Thu May 17, 2007 6:03 am UTC

I grind my own, and I don't care enough to add chunks of peanuts to the resut so it's always creamy :(
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Postby King Matt I » Thu May 17, 2007 6:03 am UTC

creamy, non-natural peanut butter is the best

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Postby ArchangelShrike » Thu May 17, 2007 6:42 am UTC

And so the smooth pb-ians faced off against the chunky/crunchy pb-ians, who both persecuted the organic pb-ians for their travesty. But the post counts rose above, and the winner was clear: the crunchy pb-ians.

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Postby UmbrageOfSnow » Thu May 17, 2007 6:54 am UTC

Berge wrote:I may have quite literally bitten off more than I can chew with this one.


But that is the beauty of smooth peanut butter, you don't have to chew it, if you need to you can just wash it down with your beverage of choice. And with those big teeth made only for ripping and tearing, I'm surprised these raptors can get the crunchy stuff down at all, despite their leathery mouths. And if they aren't chewing the crunchy, then their favoritism is plainly irrational and unjustified. We may lose in physical combat, but in the Peanut Butter Battle, we humans still have a fighting chance.
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Postby FiddleMath » Thu May 17, 2007 7:07 am UTC

Actually, I find crunchy far more comfortable. The tongue effort required by pulling all the creamy peanut butter + cruft stuck to the roof of my mouth, every single bite, is really annoying. Crunchy doesn't make that happen.

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Postby UmbrageOfSnow » Thu May 17, 2007 7:13 am UTC

FiddleMath wrote:Actually, I find crunchy far more comfortable. The tongue effort required by pulling all the creamy peanut butter + cruft stuck to the roof of my mouth, every single bite, is really annoying. Crunchy doesn't make that happen.


If you complain in real life as much as you do on the internet, soon you won't have anything to worry about. And there are other ways to get tongue exercise, as your mother or any other good "seamstress" can tell you. Say what you want about her looks and her herpes, when it comes to using her tongue, your mother knows exactly what she is doing. Smooth peanut butter is no problem for her I'm sure.
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