I Have 850 Gumballs (FREE GUMBALLS, P. 2!!)

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Mr. Beck
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I Have 850 Gumballs (FREE GUMBALLS, P. 2!!)

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:54 am UTC

Yesterday, a friend of mine got me a gigantic box of gumballs as a gag gift.
I mean really, fucking gigantic. It weighs maybe 12 pounds, and the box says that it contains 850 gumballs. Clearly it's intended for companies to restock vending machines with.
Clearly, I'm not going to eat all of them. What should I do with em?
Last edited by Mr. Beck on Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:45 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Ramses IV
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Ramses IV » Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:58 am UTC

1. Buy more
2. Wait for them to become valuable
3. Sell them
4. Profit!
5. Find a way to put ????? in 3. without ruining the plan.

Or, you could buy a trenchcoat and fill the pockets with gumballs and walk around town delivering fistfuls of the goodies. Then you could go "hehehehe" and run away.
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lowbart
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby lowbart » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:01 am UTC

Ramses IV wrote:1. Buy more
2. Wait for them to become valuable
3. Sell them
4. ?????
5. Profit!


Fixed.
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Ramses IV
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Ramses IV » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:06 am UTC

lowbart wrote:Fixed.


But by selling them, wouldn't you be getting profit already? Why the need for a ??????

Also, an amendment to the trenchcoat idea: give them only to children.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Mr.RobLikesBrunch » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:16 am UTC

MINI EDIBLE BALL-PIT!

Or, alternatively, you could make some little kid really really really happy....and then not so happy a few hours later.

By the way Mr. Beck, is your name a reference to the artist, or is that just a coincidence?
Last edited by Mr.RobLikesBrunch on Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:25 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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4=5
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby 4=5 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:23 am UTC

mail them to me

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Ramses IV
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Ramses IV » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:26 am UTC

There's an idea. Mail small packages of gumballs (maybe 5 or 6) to different people in your neighborhood. Just random people. Your postmaster will probably think you're running a drug cartel.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Peter_G » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:33 am UTC

pics or it didn't happen
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby _V_ » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:01 am UTC

Drop them somewhere extremely odd, like off an overpass, or in the middle of a school hallway, or in a swimming pool.
G|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -12- - - - - -|
D|- - - - -12 - - - -15 - - - - - - - - - 15|REPEAT
A|-12-13- - 12-13 - -12-13 - -12-13 - |


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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby 0range » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:10 am UTC

Roll them down a huge flight of stairs? You probably shouldn't do it when people are on the stairs, but I would.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Lord Aurora » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:10 am UTC

There's a Foxtrot comic strip story in which Jason and his dad enter a father-son chess tournament and Jason gets $50. He spends it on 5,000 gumballs. I'll find it for you if I can. I think he ends up eating them all and then getting a cavity.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:23 am UTC

Plant them in random places around town/campus/etc.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Baza210 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:24 am UTC

Re-enact the Sony Bravia ad.
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tmcfulton
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby tmcfulton » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:48 am UTC

Don't shave or shower for a week, wear a trenchcoat, go to a park, and give them out to small children.

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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby RealGrouchy » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:19 am UTC

and/or use it as a creepy pickup line.

"Hey there, I've got 850 sweet, sweet balls. Want to suck them for me?"

- RG>
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby BoomFrog » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:33 am UTC

As you pass them out sing (or play a recording of) chef's chocolate salty balls song. If possible replace "chocolate salty" with "sticky gooey"
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:56 am UTC

Ramses IV wrote:...3. Sell them....
Or, you could buy a trenchcoat and fill the pockets with gumballs and walk around town delivering fistfuls of the goodies. Then you could go "hehehehe" and run away.
I thought about selling them. Hmm, at $.25 apiece that's... over 200 dollars. Nice.
Not sure if I have the energy though.
Mailing them out actually sounds extra-extra awesome. I'll have to reserve a few dozen at least, for the sake of making the world a weirder place.

I have maybe 1.5 cubic feet worth- not quite enough to do something like flood a hallway.

Actuallly... the original gifter said that he would give me $$ if I could make a sculpture outta 'em. Now, he meant via chew+stick, but....
What if I found a way to hydrate and masticate them via machine? Any ideas?

Oh, and for my name see here.

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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Marbas » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:58 am UTC

Microwave them and use them to assault passerby.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby mrbaggins » Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:19 am UTC

Escalator or large ramp.

Or through the slight opening people leave in their car windows when its hot.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Rat » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:09 am UTC

1) chew each piece for a few seconds
2) compile a huge wad of gum
3) find a busy street or parking lot
4) plant the gum on the pavement, maybe use a shovel or something to get it started
5) watch your creation turn into a giant black spot. they'll need tanks to get that shit off!

there's a lot you can do with a huge wad of gum though.. a whole lot...



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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Kazuke » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:32 pm UTC

You are now a superhero vigilante. Your superpower: chewing gum and using it to affix things to things.

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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Chfan » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:44 pm UTC

Give it to random kids you see on the street and make their parents suspicious.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby ethraax » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:48 pm UTC

This, except with gumballs.

Or, alternatively, carry about 15 on you at all times and just throw them at your friend who gave them to you. Not all at once, a max of about 20 times a day. Make sure it surprises him each time. The fun would last for a long time...
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby fishyfish777 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:57 pm UTC

¡This cheese is burning me!

Image
This, but stuffed with gumballs.

http://www.gumballs.com/large-gumballs.html

Considering that box of 850 costs $29.99, I'm thinking of getting one now.

[EDIT] OH SHI~
http://www.gumball.com/8500-count-gumballs.aspx
Last edited by fishyfish777 on Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:16 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Toeofdoom » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:06 pm UTC

Chew up the gumballs and stick them on the pavement in a replica of various xkcd comics.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby wst » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:33 pm UTC

This... see if you can get some marshmallows as well.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby BlackSails » Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:03 pm UTC

Drive around in your car and offer them to the local children.

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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:31 pm UTC

Accidentally them.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Awia » Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:37 pm UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Cheese » Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:42 pm UTC

Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Awia » Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:48 pm UTC

Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby RealGrouchy » Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:46 pm UTC

Awia wrote:
Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.
I don't think you're doing.

- RG>
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Baza210 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:13 pm UTC

RealGrouchy wrote:
Awia wrote:
Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.
I don't think you're doing.

- RG>

You both accidentally too many verbs.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Awia » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:16 pm UTC

Shhh, I need more practice.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Senefen » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:54 pm UTC

First: Good for you!

What you should do is get a texta and draw a different experision on all of them. Then take them to school/uni/college and just put them everywhere. In trees, on shelves, bluetacked to walls, in the hands of statues. Hide them inside things in the staff kitchens like the tea/coffee/sugar containers. Put an egg carton in their fridge with horrified looking gumballs instead of eggs.
ImageImageImageImageImage

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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:55 pm UTC

Senefen wrote:First: Good for you!

What you should do is get a texta and draw a different experision on all of them. Then take them to school/uni/college and just put them everywhere. In trees, on shelves, bluetacked to walls, in the hands of statues. Hide them inside things in the staff kitchens like the tea/coffee/sugar containers. Put an egg carton in their fridge with horrified looking gumballs instead of eggs.

Well, forget my dumb idea, THIS IS GREAT!









What's a texta?
Image
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Baza210 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:07 pm UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:What's a texta?

Sharpie? :/
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby GuitarFreak » Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:13 pm UTC

fishyfish777 wrote:¡This cheese is burning me!

Image
This, but stuffed with gumballs.

http://www.gumballs.com/large-gumballs.html

Considering that box of 850 costs $29.99, I'm thinking of getting one now.

[EDIT] OH SHI~
http://www.gumball.com/8500-count-gumballs.aspx


That site is amazing.
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:11 am UTC

Senefen wrote:in the hands of statues.
Metroid_ChozoStatue.jpg
Idea.
Metroid_ChozoStatue.jpg (7.07 KiB) Viewed 3195 times
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Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Postby Ieatsoap6 » Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:12 am UTC

tmcfulton wrote:Don't shave or shower for a week, wear a trenchcoat, go to a park, and give them out to small children.

Bonus points if his base for this is a sketchy van with "Free Candy" on the side.


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