xkcd

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:38 pm UTC

You get an endless glass of Guiness. (Perhaps you meant "Guinness"?)

I wish this thread would go away, because I have work to do.

by **PtS** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:39 pm UTC

Granted. But since it's endless you don't find any way to get anything out of it.

I wish I understood Chinese.

Edit: Heh. I was granting crazyjimbo's wish.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:44 pm UTC

granted, but you only know the chinese words for "melon" "Dinosaur" and "molepeople"

I wish my elbows had big spikes on them...

by **Phenriz** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:47 pm UTC

Granted, but those spikes are made of your own living bone, therefore whenever they hit something, it hurts like a mama-jama.

I wish i could be one of the first humans to visit Mars.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:55 pm UTC

granted, but dude, next time, remember to put on your space suit.

I wish the mold between my toes would go away...

by **Phenriz** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:58 pm UTC

Granted, but now it's traveling in your bloodstream.

i wish i could permanently change the color of my eyes, without causing irrevocable damage to my body.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:01 pm UTC

granted, your body's fine, but your soul is cursed to endless torment.

I wish my eyebrows would be made of candy.

by **Belial** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:02 pm UTC

Done. Now release the five year olds!

I want an extra liver.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:05 pm UTC

granted, but it's attached to your shin.

I wish everybody would stop lying to me...

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

granted, but you're stuck inside it with no food....

I wish what I said two posts a go...

by **Phenriz** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

Granted, but you can only tell lies from now on.

I wish for a giant hamster ball.

(quick delete your post and post it below this one, the balance must be preserved!)

by **ArchangelShrike** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

Granted. [Edit: For the everyone to stop lying to me.]

I wish it was time for lunch break already.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:08 pm UTC

I wish you hadn't deleted that post... now I look silly.

by **Phenriz** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:09 pm UTC

Rodan wrote:I wish you hadn't deleted that post... now I look silly.

Not Granted

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:20 pm UTC

I wish someone would comment on my lame popping out of existence joke.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:21 pm UTC

granted. What lame popping out of existence joke?

I wish my skin was blue.

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:23 pm UTC

Granted. You are now a second-class citizen and enslaved.

(Go read the canker sores wish.)

I wish I could make it both to SSX (in Irvine, CA, September 21-23) and the xkcd meetup (in Boston, MA, September 23) without emptying my bank account.

by **ArchangelShrike** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:31 pm UTC

Granted. As soon as I make to Coachella and the xkcd meetup from Hawaii without breaking my account.

I wish for a plate of pad thai.

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:33 pm UTC

Granted. You cannot find chopsticks.

I wish more people would post here more quickly to alleviate my boredom.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:38 pm UTC

Granted. Your computer explodes.

I wish I had a life. Actually, no, I don't.

by **cmacis** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:39 pm UTC

EDIT:Granted, your life is confiscated.
I wish for lojban to be more widely understood.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:41 pm UTC

Granted, you discover you're not that good at Lojban. (oh!)

I wish for peace, love, freedom, and happiness.

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:42 pm UTC

Granted. Until the weed runs out.

I wish for the Q powers.

by **cmacis** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:49 pm UTC

You can only say "Q".

I wish for enough weed to make bbctol's plan viable, stored somewhere in Holland.

by **DonChubby** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:50 pm UTC

Granted, your mind melts.

I wish i could listen to Beethoven's symphonies constantly.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:52 pm UTC

Granted, but only the version sung by me (and Ren, somewhat) in the music thread.

by **SpitValve** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:07 pm UTC

Belial wrote:Done. Now release the five year olds!

That reminds me of an older thread

I wish I were a superhero.

Editted: subjunctive

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:08 pm UTC

Granted. You are the Tick.

I wish Jericho would be un-canceled.

by **SpitValve** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

woo! The Tick is awesome.

Anyway, granted, but the show is now about the Biblical Jericho, and after the walls come down in the 2nd episode it follows the exploits of Joshua conquering the Promised Land.

Joshua is played by a platypus.

I wish I didn't need to pee right now.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:17 pm UTC

granted. The pee has disappeared, tearing a hole in the space-time continuum, and producing a tear in reality inside your bladder.
Or, y'know, you peed your pants.

I wish it didn't hurt when I stabbed people with my pointy elbows.

by **DonChubby** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:20 pm UTC

Granted, your elbows are now made out of jell-o.

I wish that the screen on my calculator wasn't borked.

by **cmacis** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:26 pm UTC

Granted, now it is fucked instead. It appears very similar, except that it will show graphic hardcore kinky porn in the most embarrassing moments.

I wish that this sentence is false.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:28 pm UTC

Granted, except that "this sentence" refers to this sentence:
Cmacis did not almost kill this thread.

I wish for a pony.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:28 pm UTC

granted. Hav fun with your new stick horse!

I wish that wallaby you guys gave me hadn't eaten me...

[edited because I was late...]

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

Granted. It tortured you viscerally.

by **Rodan** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:30 pm UTC

I wish my wallaby friend would stop causing me pain...

by **ZeroSum** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:31 pm UTC

Denied.

by **DonChubby** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:31 pm UTC

Granted, it now rapes you instead (pleasantly, so it doesn't hurt)

I wish for something.

by **Phenriz** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:34 pm UTC

DonChubby wrote:I wish for something.

Granted, check your toilet.

I wish for a good ice rink, in houston.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:37 pm UTC

Granted. Houston, Alaska.

I want all spam to flee my inbox.

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