ITT: We make lame threads.

[InsanePyros]

I hate you so much that I'm going to sneak into your house late at night and touch all of your clean windows so you have little fingerprints on them. Because I hate you.

[__jess]

Dude, seriously? If you do that, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to steal all your pants, and replace them with these ones:

Lamé pants

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Yeah. That's right.

[InstinctSage]

You took it too far, __jess.
I'm cutting off your breadcrumb supply until you learn some respect.

[v1nsai]

Touch my pants, and I'll switch your shampoo with battery acid, then kidnap you and wrap you in wet leather and dump you in the middle of the desert in the sun, leaving only your genitals exposed so I can watch your brains blow out your front.

[Meowgan]

You know what? I'm gonna Rickroll you.

[Chuff]

Oh, you didn't. You DIDN'T!

You know what? I'm going to spill blueberry jam on your furniture! Yeah, that's right. And you know what else? Re-upholstery is expensive.

[Shakleton]

Don't you dare to touch my upholstery or otherwise I will implant my hypercool Jam-o-matic device in your brain, which creates a strong magnetic field rendering every computer in a 1 meter radius from you useless.

[Felstaff]

I'm going to switch the 'M' and 'N' keys on your keyboard. Then hope you're not a touchtypist.

Yeah.

[Gojoe]

YOU SON OF A BITCH FELSTAFF!

[Shakleton]

I'm going to switch the 'M' and 'N' keys on your keyboard. Then hope you're not a touchtypist.

That doesm't chamge a thimg about the nagmetic field idea. Or otherwise, I could just smeak imto your house at might amd cross out every word im every book you owm. Hah!

[Felstaff]

Yeah. You'll notice I won't be at home.

For I will be at yours, finding a tiny stone to drop into all of your shoes.

[grythyttan]

While you are out, I will let one important thing of yours soak in the toilet. And leave the lid up.

[Mo0man]

I'm going to steal exactly one sock and hide it in the inner workings of your dryer, so that it breaks down.

Also, should this be in FG?

I'm going to come into your thread and move it into Forum Games! Ha!

[Sruixan]

Well, for that, I'll place a deceased hedgehog in your (dirty) laundry.

[thecamoninja]

You hedgehog killing bastard!
For that, I'm going to have my guinea pig poop on you.

[Sruixan]

Ahem! Why, for that cruel insult I will strap aforementioned guinea pig to a fork handle and tap it repeatedly and rythymically!

[thecamoninja]

you would tape my guinea pig to a fork? Then I'll just have to respond in kind, and stick little pieces of tape to your back, causing severe annoyment

[Sruixan]

Yeh, well then I'd pick of those pieces of tape and use them to tape your kitchen cabinets shut...

...from the inside!

[thecamoninja]

Oh yeah, well then you'll be trapped on the inside of my kitchen cabinets, and they'll be taped shut! I don't even need to make a threat!

[Sruixan]

No, because I'll apply the tape to the inside of the edge of the doorframe, then I'll shut it!

Wait... I'll get MORE tape! Hah!

[thecamoninja]

OH yeah? Well then, I'll call the cops on you. I'l bet they give you a fine of at lesat ten dollars!

[Sruixan]

Yeh, well, I'll tell them that you can't spell "least". That'll surely get you a good questioning!

[J Spade]

If that happens, I'll surely force you to listen to a Creed album.

[thecamoninja]

creed, eh?
Well, then, I'll just make you listen to a green day album

[TaintedDeity]

Oh yeah, well then I'll put a knot in all of your headphone wires forcing you to waste precious seconds undoing them!

[Ralith The Third]

Well, I'll take all of your no-sodium butter? And I'll replace it with salt-lovers! MUAHAHAHHAH!

[TaintedDeity]

It will have no effect for I don't use butter! Just for that I shall glue a 2mm thick strip of wood to the top step in your house, causing you to trip slightly whenever you go up them!

[J Spade]

No! In return I have to sand 5mm off of the bottom of one of your chair legs, so that it wobbles just a little bit.

[TaintedDeity]

Oh dammit, you've forced my hand.
I'm going to have to put a thick leather bookmark in the pages of one of your favourite books so it forever falls open at that page.

[elektricat]

Ill wet the pages of your favorite book so they become all crumply and wavy, when they dry! HA!!!!!!!!!

[eviloatmeal]

That is so mean! I'm going to call you in the afternoon and be all like "Uh... u.... *blush*" and then hang up really quickly and never call again!!!

[Sruixan]

The horror! I must retaliate by giving your phone number to a crepuscular friend of mine...

[quintopia]

Well, you know what, the next time any of your mothers invites you home for cookies and milk, I'm going to take one of the cookies and a whole glass of milk! HA!

[Rodan]

I'm going to switch your computer monitor with one that's identical in every way except that it has a single dead pixel.

[J Spade]

I'd have to rotate random books on your shelf so that the text on the spine reads upward rather than downward.

[quintopia]

I would have to call you "Precious Little Spadey J" from then on.

[J Spade]

I'd demote you to tetraopia.

[quintopia]

I'd steal your coat and put it over a puddle to keep a hot lady's shoes dry.

[eviloatmeal]

Well I'm going to launch a DDoS attack on your snail mailbox!!

[quintopia]

I'll write FUCK YOU on your rear windshield with my finger so that every time the window fogs up you get a nice greeting!