xkcd

by **Meowgan** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:46 pm UTC

I'm never gonna knit anything for you.

by **King of Frogs** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:25 pm UTC

Well, I'll... I'll, replace your knitting needles with forks!

by **Meowgan** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:30 pm UTC

But you can knit with forks.

I'll teach your dog to climb through the window.

by **Sruixan** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:44 pm UTC

You cruel fiend! For that, the only possible retaliation is to take all your mail out of your mailbox early one morning and replace it with verions written by a four year old child!

by **sje46** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:45 pm UTC

I'll take one of those children out for ice cream and won't buy you any!

by **Sruixan** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:49 pm UTC

Yeh, well I'll make fun of the fact that there was only one child specified in my previous threat in front of all you friends!

by **sje46** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:50 pm UTC

yeah? Well, I'll tell you that I have no friends, and you'd be embarrassed because you thought I did!

So . . .lonely . . .

by **King of Frogs** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:29 pm UTC

Well, I wish I didn't have to do this, but I would feel duty-bound to retaliate by telling your second-cousins that you once made a racist joke, but then apologised.

by **Ralith The Third** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:16 pm UTC

Well, I! will pet your cats belly!

by **Meowgan** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:33 am UTC

I will use a gratuitous amount of wordfilters.

by **Luthen** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:43 am UTC

I will sprinkle gumdrops around your house and call the police!

by **Ralith The Third** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:44 am UTC

I will run up to you, give you a pack of skittles, and run away!

by **ManHadn't** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:01 am UTC

I will finish my standardized test ten minutes before you!
I may even snort when you turn it in

by **PurpleMint** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:40 am UTC

I will not reply with a threat, thus slightly disappointing you!

by **<nyssa>** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:10 am UTC

I will refuse to be disappointed, thus angering you because your plan to disappoint me was foiled!

by **King of Frogs** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:59 pm UTC

I'll open the lids on all your milk bottles!

by **mind404** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:05 pm UTC

I bite my thumb at you sir

by **King of Frogs** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:31 pm UTC

Dost thou bite thy thumb at me?

Sir, I shall replace all your shoes with ones exactly the same, except half a size smaller.

by **Silknor** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:44 am UTC

My feet almost slightly hurt! I will give a paper cut to a stranger you've never met and never will meet and tell him it's your fault.

by **blue_eyedspacemonkey** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:43 am UTC

Oh, yeah, well I shall make toast in you kitchen and leave toast crumbs everywhere, and toast sweat on your worktop. So there.

by **Bulvox** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:43 am UTC

I will shrink all of your clothes so that none of them fit.

by **King of Frogs** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:25 pm UTC

I will give your strawberries big scary mouths!

by **Bulvox** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:48 pm UTC

King of Frogs wrote:I will give your strawberries big scary mouths!

too late.

I'll motivate your posters.

by **TaintedDeity** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:02 pm UTC

I'm going to delete all your computer's saved passwords s you'll have to retype them again!

by **King of Frogs** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:38 pm UTC

I'll uninstall firefox from your computer!

by **rnew** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:48 pm UTC

That's going too far.

I'm going to get all of your jackets and turn just ONE sleeve inside out, so when you go to put it on you get confused which way round it should be. HA

by **TaintedDeity** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:08 pm UTC

Oh fuck, I hate that.

I'm going to throw out one of all your pairs of socks.

by **King of Frogs** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:09 pm UTC

I will replace your shoes with herring.

by **blue_eyedspacemonkey** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:11 pm UTC

I shall ring your doorbell, then run away!

by **King of Frogs** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:37 pm UTC

I will remove my doorbell so you can't do that!

by **quintopia** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:49 pm UTC

I will knock loudly on your door and leave a burning bag on your doorstep. . .that has nothing in it!

by **TaintedDeity** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:14 pm UTC

You fucker.

I'm going to make a pinsize hole in your can of drink and empty it withut you realising so when you open it you have no drink.

by **Fractal_Tangent** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:06 pm UTC

oh yeah? well im going to get all your markers and switch the tops round so that when you try and color the sky with blue, you get red instead!

by **quintopia** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:31 am UTC

Oh yeah, well I'm gonna leave your red marker out on the porch with no cap on. . .with the point sticking straight up!

by **rath358** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:42 am UTC

i will change yyour signateure so it turns counterdlockwise instead

by **quintopia** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:53 am UTC

rath358 wrote:i will change yyour ~~signateure~~avatar so it turns counterdlockwise instead

i might even do that myself. should i have a poll?

I will leave your pajamas out in the rain!

by **Bulvox** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:56 am UTC

I will lock you in the same room as all the people from the hugs thread.

by **Asmodieus** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:27 pm UTC

Im going to swtich all the keys on your keyboard around so you will never know what you will type next.

by **sje46** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:28 pm UTC

Bulvox wrote:I will lock you in the same room as all the people from the hugs thread.

. .. too far.

Seriously, dude.

Now, if you don't stop saying hurtful things like that, I'm going to have to give you a big ol' glomping.

by **ManHadn't** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:46 pm UTC

I'll replace all your brand-name drinks with syrupy supermarket cola!

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