xkcd

by **michaelandjimi** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:55 am UTC

Think I got them all in the title. Anyway, in a similar way to how the Woman Thread is a safe space for women, I thought it would be nice if we had a safe space for people who identify as L, G, B, T, I, Q, Q, and A. For the uninitiated, that is:

L = Lesbians: Women (whether by gender or by sex) who are attracted to women.
G = Gay: Men (whether by gender or sex) who are attracted to other men.
B = Bisexual: People of either gender who are attracted to people of either gender.
T = Transexual: Those who are physically of one gender but mentally of another. I believe that the title still applies post-op.
I = Intersex: Those who have physical characteristics of both sexes manifest.
Q₁ = Questioning: Those who are curious, but are unsure of their gender and/or orientation.
Q₂ = Queer: I believe, but am unsure, that this refers to those whose gender and/or orientation do not come under any of the above listed terms. Correct me if I am wrong.
A = Asexual: Those who lack sexual attraction and/or interest in and desire for sex.

Rulez:
1) Don't be a gorram douchenozzle. If you are oppressive in any way the mods will probably have you out on your ass faster than you can spell heteronormative. There are plenty of threads for arguing at length topics of gender identity and sexuality. Go play in one of them.

There are no other rules.

Also, folks, don't forget that you don't have to say which you are. Hell, you can be none of the above and post in here. Just don't feel that you can't post without being identified. There is no pressure upon you to do anything.

by **PapaNachos** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:19 pm UTC

Just as a note:
The organization on my campus is GLBTA with the "A" standing for "Allies" that consist of anyone who isn't personally GLBT, but is supportive of those who are.

by **amx126** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 3:25 pm UTC

I like this. This is a good idea. :mrgreen:

by **Darkscull** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:05 pm UTC

Some would say that this is a bit broad for such a thread, but I think it fits.
There can always be splits later if the issues of one group take over.

I love the LGBTA idea. I may float the idea around here, but I don't think anyone I know is very big in the 'official' LGBT group.

If I'm not B I'm certainly an A, and being recognised would be nice. Too many people assume you can only care about an issue if it affects you.

by **StrengthInFaith** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:57 pm UTC

I like the idea of this thread.

I hope it goes well.

by **Jessica** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:17 pm UTC

The university group here is called GLOW, or gays and lesbians of waterloo. It's a pretty neat.

by **Teapot** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:26 pm UTC

Ours is called BLOGs (Bisexual, Lesbian Or Gay). I had to look it up on the university to website to find out what it was, because I remembered it wasn't LGBT but I couldn't remember what it was.

by **Zeroignite** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:17 pm UTC

This thread look like a good idea.

Mu uni's newspaper published something that annoyed my the other day.
LINK
Is it just me, or is the tone of the article pretty heteronormative, even though it's publicizing an outreach thing?

by **Hyphe** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:25 pm UTC

Yeah, that's irritating at best.

Hallgren said about 5 percent to 10 percent of people in a community are LGBTQ, but most people don't know how to talk to an LGBTQ person.

Uh, the same way you talk to anybody else? We're not aliens.

by **aging.child** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:38 pm UTC

Awesome timing! I recently heard this on a GLBT radio station in some dusty corner of the internet, and I love it. Then I found the video for it and I love it even more. It's sort of like We Didn't Start the Fire but with events important for the gay community. Hope you like it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEpqTIolLps

by **Mmmm, Pi** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:45 pm UTC

Offically our group is called the LGBTQ Association. Unoffically quite a few people call them Gay Club. I *think* the Q is for Queer. The main thing they've been going on recently is for having some gender nutral toilets around the Student's Union for trans or anybody who doesn't want to define either way.

by **blue_eyedspacemonkey** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:51 pm UTC

Our uni's group is called Aber Pride (Aber=Aberystwyth). They have a lot of campaigns-the two biggest ones that I've seen as someone who isn't a member is biphobia, and blood donation.

by **DJorgensen** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:07 pm UTC

My school growing up didn't have a group... and my university - well let's just say I avoided the groupies there cause they scared me. There is one though that I know about now from other friends, but I'm not really that big of a community person.

by **Darkscull** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:10 pm UTC

blue_eyedspacemonkey wrote:Our uni's group is called Aber Pride (Aber=Aberystwyth). They have a lot of campaigns-the two biggest ones that I've seen as someone who isn't a member is biphobia, and blood donation.

Was just about to post that actually

I'm still surprised about the blood donation thing, even after several years. So few people know that they still don't let gay men give blood in this country.

About that article, I don't like the tone of it at all. Also, the concept it's talking about.

They're training people to talk to those different to them?

And those stickers seem so patronising.

by **DJorgensen** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:12 pm UTC

Darkscull wrote:I'm still surprised about the blood donation thing, even after several years. So few people know that they still don't let gay men give blood in this country.

I have often wondered how that works for me. ^^;
They still continue to call me and ask for me to donate...

by **StrengthInFaith** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:45 pm UTC

I never knew that they didn't let gay men donate blood. What's their reasoning behind it, do you know?

by **aging.child** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:48 pm UTC

I think they said gay men are so much more susceptible to STDs that it isn't worth it. Or something like that. Don't they test all the blood before they use it, though?

by **Osha** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:49 pm UTC

Woo! A thread!
*Osha passes out Grilled Bacon Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches with.. um... IQQ sauce*

I wonder about if I can donate blood too. Just like I wonder if I can get legally married to a man or to a woman.

My schools group is BGLAD (Bisexuals Gays, Lesbians, and Allies for Diversity). I've never checked it out, we also have a womans center that I'm pretty sure is transgender friendly but I haven't checked them out either.

by **blue_eyedspacemonkey** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:51 pm UTC

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18827137/

Authorities say that there's more chance of a gay man having HIV and passing it on through blood transfusions. HIV can take upto six months to show in the bloodstream.

by **eternauta3k** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:53 pm UTC

aging.child wrote:I think they said gay men are so much more susceptible to STDs that it isn't worth it. Or something like that. Don't they test all the blood before they use it, though?

Well, AFAIK they can't test it for gayness, so how would they know you're gay? It's completely ass-backwards.

by **aging.child** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:56 pm UTC

From what I've learned from teen TV dramas ... :oops:

... they make you fill out a form before you give blood, and that's one of the questions. Don't take my word for that, though. I've never given blood.

by **blue_eyedspacemonkey** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:58 pm UTC

You have to fill out forms over here, I can only assume its the same for the UK. The form asks you about your health as well as sexual preferences.

by **Jessica** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:59 pm UTC

one of the questions is (If I remember correctly) about being gay. Probably like "have you ever had sex with a gay man" or something. I remember the question but at the time it was no, so I didn't pay attention. They still didn't want my blood...

by **StrengthInFaith** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:10 pm UTC

Sorry for the quick change in topic here. :oops:

This is something I think people might find useful.

There are a few transgender/transsexual people whose channels I subscribe to on YouTube. They've all helped me in one way or another, so I thought I'd share them with y'all. (I searched for a thread purely about transgender/transsexualism before posting, but couldn't find one. I apologize if I missed it.)

candiFLA
This is candiFLA's channel. She is a male-to-female transsexual. Her videos have helped me a lot with developing a more feminine voice; her voice is amazing, and her lessons have worked well for me.

grishno
Grishno is another male-to-female transsexual. No voice lessons here; her videos document the various stages of her transition. She's extremely upbeat and positive, so her videos are great when you need a smile.

TGJennie
Jennie's videos also document the stages of her transition, in a way. She is very down-to-earth and frank about her experiences. Her videos are definitely worth a watch, in my opinion.

These are the three channels I mainly watch. I hope the videos are helpful to someone.

by **Teapot** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:29 pm UTC

For ftms, some of Nekoboi17's videos cover the basics of binding and how to dress in ways that will hide your figure effectively amongst other things. (I'm not trans, but I am thinking of presenting as male from time to time.)

by **la fée verte** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:49 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:one of the questions is (If I remember correctly) about being gay. Probably like "have you ever had sex with a gay man" or something. I remember the question but at the time it was no, so I didn't pay attention. They still didn't want my blood...

In the UK you can never give blood if you are "a man who has had oral or anal sex with a man (even if you used a condom)". For women, you can't give blood for a year after sex with "a man who has had sex with another man".

There's just... so much to hate about the wording of those rules. For a start, how are they defining "man", when it comes to transpeople? Then, how come a woman who has sex with a bi guy can give blood after a 12 months, but a man who has ever had sex with a man, even once, can never give blood for the rest of his life? And of course, the fact that they completely dismiss safer sex and condom use out of hand.

As a straight woman, I don't need to give any details at all about my safer sex practices in order to give blood. I just need to confirm that, as far as I know, I don't have HIV or hepatitis. So, in theory, I could have screwed a different stranger every night for the last month, never used a condom, and yet be allowed to donate. Whereas a responsible, monogamous, condom-using gay man is excluded. Gah.

by **abitha** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:23 am UTC

The giving-blood thing probably isn't worded as well as it could be, but it's basically just about statistics. In the UK, around 40% of the people known to have HIV are men who have, at some point, had sex with another man (regardless of whether they happen to identify as gay or not, and many don't). Sure, that still means that less than half of the people who have HIV are gay men (especially as gay men are probably more likely to go for HIV testing, so more of them will actually know their HIV status), but still, statistically, it's a high-risk group. I agree it's unfair, I don't like it either, I know it doesn't address the trans issue, or that of hetero people who have unsafe sex, but at the end of the day safety has to be the top priority in matters of public health, and that's primarily a statistical thing. If at some point in the future the numbers are different, and being a man who has had sex with another man is no longer such a high risk, hopefully they'll change the guidelines.

Sorry if i've offended anyone by saying this.

EDIT:
What I should have added is that I was very much in agreement with what y'all are saying, until I read this article by the Terrence Higgins Trust. In fact probably i should've just posted that link rather than trying to explain it in my own words! I don't know how well-known THT is outside the UK, so i'll just explain that it's a UK charity set up by gay men for gay men in the early days of the AIDS epidemic, and they do a lot of great work both in sexual health promotion and gay advocacy. It surprised me a lot that even they'd be supportive of the current rules (although recommending that the policy be reviewed regularly - which i also agree is a good idea), but it made me rethink the issue a bit. I hope that explains things a bit better.

by **natraj** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:28 am UTC

...seriously? We can't even get past the first page of a safespace thread before someone comes in to justify discrimination? Nice.

by **aging.child** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:32 am UTC

But, even if you're straight and you give blood, don't they have to wait a certain amount of time and test it before pumping it into someone? So... they might lose time and money if a wave of gay men give bad blood, but it wouldn't be a public health risk.

Besides, I'm sure a lot more people would give blood if the questions weren't so...inquisitive.

by **abitha** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:41 am UTC

natraj wrote:...seriously? We can't even get past the first page of a safespace thread before someone comes in to justify discrimination? Nice.

Ouch. What i wrote was not intended to be a justification of discrimination. Someone asked what the reasoning behind it was, i tried to explain it as best i could. Like i said, it doesn't sit well with me either - wasn't meaning to trample on anyone's safespace, but is it unreasonable to say "I believe this is why things have ended up the way they are, for better or worse"?

PS. I'll edit/delete my previous post if it's generally deemed offensive.

by **michaelandjimi** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 2:56 am UTC

The one at my university is called "Identity", which I thought was pretty nice.

With regards to the blood donation, Australia has the thing too. I'm not completely sure of the length of time it specifies, but it is definitely a question. As well as being discriminatory it's also fairly invasive.

by **DJorgensen** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:12 am UTC

StrengthInFaith wrote:There are a few transgender/transsexual people whose channels I subscribe to on YouTube. They've all helped me in one way or another, so I thought I'd share them with y'all. (I searched for a thread purely about transgender/transsexualism before posting, but couldn't find one. I apologize if I missed it.)

I never really got into subscribing to videos from other transfolk. I don't know why either. I just do my own thing...
But I am a little weird and different anyway. *sigh*

by **Osha** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:12 am UTC

I don't subscribe to videos either, but I do read a few blogs

I got some birthday money so I'm going to buy a fancy voice recorder and practice my voice a lot over the summer.
That's the theory anyway!

All the practice I've done so far has gotten me better at singing (so that now I sometimes get complimented instead of routinely hated for it), but not so much at sounding more feminine

by **fyrenwater** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:15 am UTC

This thread is a good idea. I'm sick of going to gay-friendly boards and finding out that they discriminate(!!) anyone that isn't gay.

So are we going to be discussing issues or is this just going to be a place to chill and talk about stuff?

by **poxic** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:18 am UTC

If the women's thread is anything to go by, it'll be some from column A, some from column B.

by **michaelandjimi** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:22 am UTC

poxic wrote:If the women's thread is anything to go by, it'll be some from column A, some from column B.

Precisely. It's about whatever anyone wants to talk about.

by **Jessica** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 7:00 am UTC

I hate clubs.
Clubs with good music are generally straight. I don't like getting hit on (luckily it doesn't happen much, me being not that attractive), and I hate the feeling like if I try and hit on a girl it'll really come back to hit me. And yet, I don't really like gay clubs either.

I wish I could find a way to meet gay women. I sorely lack in the real life gay friend department.

by **Sharlos** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 7:02 am UTC

I'd like to hear from some non-US/Australian parts of the world where you *are* allowed to have gay marriage.

I can't seem to recall any off the top of my head.

by **Jessica** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 7:04 am UTC

Canada? I live there!

by **michaelandjimi** » Sat Apr 25, 2009 7:08 am UTC

Wikipedia lists the following countries as allowing SSM:
Belgium
Canada
Netherlands
Norway
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
Several US states (CT, IA, MA, VT)

Several other countries recognise SSM but do not perform their own.

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