The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Apparently, people like to eat.

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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby Zohar » Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:58 pm UTC

I made a great quinoa salad yesterday. It's also very simple to prepare. Ingredients are rough estimates and subject to change according to cook's will.

Quinoa salad wrote:Ingredients:
600 gr. dried quinoa
200 gr. craisins (dried cranberries)
100 gr. walnuts
A bunch of coriander or arugula (a.k.a rocket)
A block of feta cheese, maybe around 300 gr.?
Juice of one lemon
Olive oil
Salt

1. Cook quinoa - fry quinoa in some olive oil for a minute or two, add two cups of water for every cup quinoa, add some salt, bring to a boil then cover and cook on a low heat until water is completely absorbed, about 15-20 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, roughly chop the craisins, walnuts and herbs. Dice the cheese.
3. Once the quinoa is done let it cool first! To room temperature or less.
4. Just mix all the ingredients together, add olive oil and salt to taste.


You can use any type of slightly hard, salty cheese. It tastes great fresh and it was good the day after as well. It's also super healthy.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:33 am UTC

Super Awesome Pumpkin Muffins. I made these this morning, and they are fat-free, and I used half sugar, half splenda, as well as half all-purpose flour and half whole wheat flour to make them healthier.

INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 cups golden raisins (optional)
2 1/3 cups all purpose flour
2 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
2 cups sugar
2 cups Splenda (or other heat-stable artificial sweetener)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons nutmeg
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cloves
6 eggs
1 (29 ounce) can pumpkin
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 cup chopped walnuts

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 C). Grease 36 muffins worth of muffin pans. I used the little muffin pan paper cups, but my muffins stuck, so you should probably grease those too if you use them.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, splenda, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, and ground cloves. In a separate bowl, mix the eggs, pumpkin, and applesauce, until smooth. Add this mixture to the dry ingredients and stir thoroughly to make a smooth batter. Stir the raisins and walnuts into the batter. Spoon batter into the prepared muffin cups.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Obviously you could use only all-purpose flour and only sugar if you don't care so much about healthy muffins.
Last edited by PictureSarah on Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:00 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby Zohar » Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:04 am UTC

I think I'll try the recipe, but a few comments:
1. You can just use whole wheat flour, in my experience. I use it for everything now.
2. Vegan usually means nothing from animals. That means meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy products (and maybe honey, for some). Vegetarian means (again, usually) no meat, fish or poultry, but egg and dairy is OK. So at least by those definitions they're vegetarian, not vegan.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:59 pm UTC

Argh. Fix'd. I totally knew the definition of vegetarian vs. vegan, I just happened to be looking at a vegan recipe before making the muffins, but made these instead, and had a brain fart.

Also on the all-purpose vs. whole wheat, I have a REALLY hard time getting things to rise enough when I use all whole wheat flour. I think it might have something to do with living at elevation, because I don't have this problem at sea level.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby Zohar » Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:38 am UTC

That's weird, I never thought that would be a problem. In Israel at least we have recipes on practically all flour packages, if you have those where you are, try to see what they suggest to make with whole wheat flour, maybe there's a different process required.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook

Postby crowey » Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:54 pm UTC

I'd guess you need more baking powder if you're using all wholewheat, it tends to be a bit heavier and not raise so well.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby quintopia » Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:57 am UTC

I love how SpitValve's reprint of David Morgan-Mar's Fibonacci Numbers program ended up on the dessert list of the index rather than the "other things" list. Maybe the mod in charge didn't recognize Chef source code?
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:49 am UTC

Coconut Lime Curry Sauce:

1 can (14 oz. coconut milk)
1.5 tablespoons (roughly) grated ginger
3 tablespoons (roughly) curry powder
1/8 cup (roughly) tamarind dipping sauce. I use a local brand, but I've seen several brands. Should be thinner than honey, and sweet.
4 tablespoons of lime juice
Dash of hot sauce, or a few shakes of ground red pepper
About 2 teaspoons of cornstarch

- Put grated ginger, tamarind sauce, lime juice and coconut milk in a small saucepan and simmer, stirring occasionally.
- Whisk in curry powder and pepper/hot sauce, and continue to simmer.
- Whisk in the cornstarch, a bit at a time, until sauce thickens. Add more if needed, or stop adding it if the sauce thickens.

It goes really well with a stirfy I made with tofu, red bell peppers, and sweet potato. I imagine it would go pretty well with just about any stirfry that you want to have a sort of Thai flavor, that's served with rice or I suppose noodles.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Alpha Omicron » Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:46 am UTC

Since they're just coming into season:
Fried Morels
-brush dirt out of morels (you don't really want to wash them)
-slice lengthwise or cross-sectionally
-dip in egg and crushed saltine crackers (optional)
-fry in butter or oil (I use butter, margarine, or canola oil for everything; I hate the smell and taste of olives and olive oils)
-crack pepper over them (or shake from a shaker) (optional)
-add a little salt of some sort (if you didn't bread them with saltines)
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby parkaboy » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:58 am UTC

Slight variations on the chocolate chip cookie here.

Make the base batter:
1 1/4 c butter, softened
1 c dark brown sugar, packed
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 1/4 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 c sifted all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
chocolate chips (as much as you want. More chips never killed anyone)
White chocolate chips (a small bag of each will do)
Dried cranberries
Sweetened granola of choice (I used Pecan Praline from Trader Joe's)
-----
cream butter, sugars and vanilla then beat in eggs. sift your dry ingredients (salt, flour, BS) together and mix it in to the sugarbutterstuff.

Divide into two bowls. In one bowl, fold in chocolate chips. In other bowl fold in white chips and dried cranberries. Scoop both out with a small ice cream scoop (a little larger than a typical melon baller, though I don't know the exact measurement. I also pressed mine in before rolling them out). Roll the tops of both kinds in the granola and place about an inch apart on a cookie sheet. I line mine with foil and grease them ever so slightly. Bake at 350 for about 10-12 minutes. This batch made just shy of 5 dozen (60) cookies.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Gentlelady » Fri May 01, 2009 5:09 am UTC

Hard Rolls

1 package of dry yeast
1 1/4 cup water
2 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. shortening
1 egg white (stiffly beaten)
4 1/2 cups of flour

Dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water and let bloom for five minutes. Combined shortening and stiff egg whites with the bloomed yeast. Add flour in a cup at a time to form soft dough, let the mixer knead the dough for ten minutes.

I recommend doing this in a mixer but you can do this by hand. Just take the dough out of the bowl you mixed it in and place it onto a floured board. But leave the 1/2 flour out, you will knead it into the dough over the course of the ten minutes. Place the dough in a well greased bowl and let sit for an hour. Punch down the dough after the hour and let rise for another two hours.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (204 Celsius) and place a pan of hot water underneath. Punch down the dough once more and divide into 10 to 12 equal pieces. Sprinkle corn meal lightly over the baking sheets and bake for 25 minutes.


Tips:
You should use a large bowl if you make these, the dough rises almost 10 times it's size during the second rising. Also you can kill your yeast if you use too hot or cold of water. If you want to use water from your tap, and put your wrist under the water. If it feels too warm or cool to your wrist then adjust it ( or about 105°F or (41 C) - 115°F(46 C). All ovens are different so adjust the cooking time accordingly.

This is one of the easy yeast roll recipes I know. It might seem complicated but it's simple, just follow the recipe and have fun.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Wed May 06, 2009 10:22 am UTC

By request:
Traditional South African Koeksisters
Spoiler:
Image

Ingredients
Syrup
800g / 1l sugar
625ml water
1 piece cinnamon
10ml vanilla essence/flavour
1 piece whole ginger (±2.5cm) – optional
10ml lemon juice – optional

Dough
560g / 1l flour
2ml salt
20ml baking powder
15ml sugar
50g / 50ml margarine
2 eggs
250ml cold water
1 bottle vegetable oil, for frying

Method
Making the syrup
  • Make the syrup in advance, preferably the previous day, so that it can cool down completely.
  • Place all the syrup ingredients in a saucepan and heat over low heat until the sugar melts.
  • Let it simmer for 10 minutes. Let it cool down and refrigerate well.

Making the dough
  • To make the dough, mix the dry ingredients and rub the margarine in until the mixture resembles loose crumbs.
  • Beat the eggs with 200ml water.
  • Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and mix to a soft dough. Add more water if needed but be careful not to add so much that the dough is sticky.
  • Kneed for about 5 minutes on a floured surface until very smooth. Place in a floured bowl in the fridge for at least half an hour, up to 4 hours.

Making the koeksisters
Spoiler:
Image
  • Roll the dough out on a floured surface to about 8mm thick.
  • Cut out rectangles of approx 8 x 4cm. Make two incisions to divide each rectangle into three strips, with 1cm left at the top to keep them together.
  • Braid each rectangle loosely into a koeksister (leaving room for the dough to rise). It is better to have them short and fat than long and thin (for absorbing the syrup).

Frying the koeksisters
Spoiler:
Image
  • Heat the oil until medium hot (±170°C). Fry the koeksisters in batches until golden brown on both sides.
  • Remove each batch from the oil with a slotted spoon, and immediately dunk in the syrup. The syrup has to be very cold for proper absorption. Remove from the syrup and allow to cool on a draining rack.
  • HINT: having two bowls of syrup allows you to keep one in the fridge; or freezer; while using the other so it stays cold.
Spoiler:
Image

Ta-dah!
Spoiler:
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Nath » Sun May 10, 2009 11:35 am UTC

Lazy couscous kheer

Per serving:
1/3 cup instant couscous
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup milk
Pinch of salt
Brown (or white) sugar to taste; start with one heaped teaspoon
Spices (I used cinnamon; cardamom or cloves would work too)
Raisins (optional)
Sliced almonds or pistachios (optional)

Boil water with salt. Add couscous. Cover and wait five minutes.
Fluff and add warm milk.
Add other ingredients, except nuts (if you're using them). Stir.
Heat it up again, not enough to scald the milk. Cover and wait five minutes.
Stir. Add nuts.

Takes slightly over ten minutes, and you can make it in a mug with a microwave.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby podbaydoor » Mon May 11, 2009 1:14 am UTC

Oh god, I just had an orgasm-party in my mouth.
Strawberry Fool wrote:Yield 4 servings

Time 30 minutes

Mark Bittman
David Karp for The New York Times
Summary

If you have perfectly ripe, sweet berries, you may reduce the sugar called for by half. On the other hand, some berries are so tart that you will need more. I add a bit of vanilla extract to the cream for flavor, but you can consider this optional.
Ingredients

* 1 pint strawberries
* 1/2 cup sugar, or to taste
* 1 cup heavy cream
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, optional

Method

* 1. Hull strawberries, then wash them and chop into 1/4-inch-thick pieces. Toss with half the sugar, and wait 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until they give up their juices.
* 2. Place half the strawberries and all the juice in a blender, and puree. Pour puree back in bowl with chopped strawberries.
* 3. Whip the cream with remaining sugar and vanilla until cream is stiff and holds peaks easily. Fold berries and cream together, and serve immediately, or refrigerate for up to two hours.

Variation

* To make a gratin, preheat broiler, setting rack close to heat source. Hull and slice berries, and toss them in a gratin dish with half the sugar. Beat cream with half the remaining sugar and the vanilla, just until it holds soft peaks. Top berries with cream, and sprinkle with remaining sugar. Broil carefully, rotating dish so that cream browns all over. Remove and serve.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Mon May 11, 2009 5:14 pm UTC

The following two recipes aren't my own but are posted by request, nonetheless. For those rare few of you who know Hebrew AND are interested, the book is "Sodot Metukim" by Karin Goren (and it has many more excellent recipes).

Dual-color Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients for dough:
250 gr. soft butter
3/4 cup (150 gr) sugar
3/4 cup (180 gr) packed dark brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
0.5 tsp salt
For light mixture:
1/4 cup (40 gr) flour
1 cup (200 gr) dark chocolate chips
For dark mixture:
1/4 cup (40 gr) cocoa powder
1 cup (200 gr) white chocolate chips

It claims to make 50 cookies, I made 30.

1. In a mixer, mix the butter, two sugars and vanilla at medium speed until you get a creamy consistency. Add the eggs one by one until even consistency.
2. Lower mixer speed, add the rest of the dry ingredients until you get a good dough.
3. Divide the mixture evenly into two bowls.
4. Add to one the light ingredients (flour and dark chocolate), mix well. Add the dark ingredients to the other bowl and mix well.

You can form the cookies now but it's better to let the doughs cool for a while, then it's easier to form them.

5. Heat an oven to 190 deg. C.
6. With slightly wet hands, form balls 3 cm. in diameter from the mixtures (keep them separate for now).
7. Press two balls (one black and one white) together and roll them a bit, just so you get the general shape of a new ball.
9. Place them evenly with spaces on a pan with baking paper (forgot its name in English). Bake for about 12 minutes until the white mixture part start to yellow at the edges.
10. Let cool.

I baked them in batches of 9, but again they were big. Anyway, the amount of time (12 minutes) was fairly accurate.

Pictures in the pr0n thread.

Extreme Chocolate Cake
This cake is very bitter and "heavy". If you don't like a sweet dessert - this is the one for you!
Ingredients:
7 cold eggs
400 gr. bitter chocolate
200 gr. butter
3 tbsp. coffee liquor (I used just two tsp of nescafe because I didn't have liquor)

1. Heat the oven to 150 deg. C. Place a pan at the bottom of the oven and fill it with boiling water (we need a sauna in there).
2. In a mixer, whip the eggs for 8 minutes at high speed, until you get a thick, light foam.
3. In the meantime, melt the chocolate and butter. Add the coffee, let cool a bit.
4. Mix 1/3 of the eggs into the chocolate mixture. Then fold the eggs gently into the coffee mixture.
5. Pour to a 24 cm. pan with baking paper. Bake for 40 minutes, until the cake's surface starts to crack. The cake shouldn't seem completely baked.
6. Cool, then place in the fridge for at least two hours.
7. Eat straight from the fridge or at room temperature. You can use a knife dipped in some hot water to cut it more easily.

The reason for the cold eggs is because they will form a stickier, thicker consistency. Room temperature eggs make a fluffy cake, but this isn't supposed to be fluffy.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby PictureSarah » Wed May 13, 2009 4:45 pm UTC

Healthy-ish sweet potato cookies!

Ingredients

.5 cups butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
.5 cups milk
1 cup mashed sweet potatoes
2.3 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp. salt
.5 cups raisins
.5 cups chocolate chips
1.5 cups chopped nuts
2 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
.5 tsp. baking soda
.5 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. vanilla extract


Directions

Mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately, then mix together. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Place cookies by rounded teaspoon full 2-3 inches apart on greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Makes about 50 small to medium cookies.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Gentlelady » Sun May 17, 2009 11:46 am UTC

Apple Turnovers

I make my apple turnovers with a cream cheese dough. But you can always omit the cream cheese if you don't like it.

Cream Cheese Pie Dough

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold or partially frozen
1 cup bleached all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup cream cheese, cold or partially frozen
1 tablespoon ice water
1 1/2 teaspoons cider vinegar

Mix flour, baking powder and salt, cut in butter and cream cheese . Add water and vinegar, 1 tablespoon at a time, and mix gently until dough forms ball. Let it chill in the refrigerator for any where from half an hour to three days, depending on when you want to use it.

This dough will also keep in the freezer for up to 3 months. Just wrap it in plastic wrap and put it in a zip lock bag.


Apple Pie Filling

1/3 to 2/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Pinch of salt
8 medium sized apples (a medium apple = about 1 cup)


Peel, core and slice your apples. Spinkle the flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar and salt over the sliced apples in a large saute pan. Let them cook for 20 minutes.

I prefer to cook my apples before I put them in the turnovers. If you don't, just stick everything in a bowl and toss the apples around in the flour mixture.


Once your apples are ready, on a lightly floured surface, roll dough to an 1/8 of an inch and cut it into a 7-in. circles. Place apple slices on half of the circle. Fold dough over filling, sealing edges with fingers or pressing with a fork. Brush with milk. Prick top with a fork. Place on a greased baking sheet.

Bake at 375° for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown.


Edit: I'll figure out the conversions from imperial to metric soon.
Last edited by Gentlelady on Sun May 17, 2009 12:15 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sun May 17, 2009 12:01 pm UTC

I have three questions:
1. What do you mean by "cut in butter and cream cheese"?
2. Does it work with any type of vinegar? I'm just being lazy because we don't have apple vinegar at home, but vinegar isn't very expensive and lasts a while so there's no problem to buy it.
3. I just want to make sure I get this right - the circles are 7 inches in diameter, so pretty huge? The amount of apples and dough is for one "circle" or more?

I'm pretty sure I'll make this this weekend. It looks awesome.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Gentlelady » Sun May 17, 2009 12:14 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:I have three questions:
1. What do you mean by "cut in butter and cream cheese"?

Just cut them into cubes into the flour. When you do this and are ready to bake your turnovers, the water in the butter evaporates and causes steam. And the steam is what causes the flakiness of the crust. It's easier to mix if you cut the cream cheese up too.


2. Does it work with any type of vinegar? I'm just being lazy because we don't have apple vinegar at home, but vinegar isn't very expensive and lasts a while so there's no problem to buy it.

Nope. The apple cider vinegar just gives it a little more flavor. I use regular vinegar most of the time.

3. I just want to make sure I get this right - the circles are 7 inches in diameter, so pretty huge? The amount of apples and dough is for one "circle" or more?


Yeah, you are going to fold over the dough to cover the apples. But you can make the circles smaller or larger, according to how big you want them. And yes, you cut as many circles as you want to or can from your dough. With your scraps just place them in a ball and roll them back out to make more circles. Or you can just cut them into strips, bake them at the same temperature, and eat them with a simple sugar glaze.

Edit: I fixed the instructions for the dough for you. I really should go back and read what I write.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sun May 17, 2009 12:19 pm UTC

Have a look here for "cutting in", Zohar:

http://culinaryarts.about.com/od/baking ... trycut.htm

I don't own a pastry cutter though; I use the tips of my fingers to rub/crumble the cold butter into the dough until it resembles course crumbs.


preview-ninja: my method seems unnecessarily complex for this recipe's needs.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Gentlelady » Sun May 17, 2009 12:22 pm UTC

I have always used that thing to mash avocados for guacamole. I never knew it was for baking.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sun May 17, 2009 12:30 pm UTC

For making flaky dough I usually use my food processor - mix all the dry ingredients first, then add the butter and do a few pulses. Would that work in this case? It usually does the job.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sun May 17, 2009 12:33 pm UTC

Sounds like it would to me, if it results in that crumbly consistency of little balls of butter coated in your flour mix.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Sun May 17, 2009 12:55 pm UTC

Those sound delicious. If you're lazy, like me, you can substitute the cinnamon and nutmeg with apple pie spice, which is a blend of those two, plus ginger and ground cloves. I'd use probably 1½ to 2 teaspoons of the spice.

As for using a food processor, I've heard that's the best way to do it, since it helps get all the butter or cream cheese broken up evenly into the flour, instead of having huge blobs of said butter in the dough when you try to cut it in using a pastry cutter, or two knives, which is what I've done.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sun May 17, 2009 1:01 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:If you're lazy, like me, you can substitute the cinnamon and nutmeg with apple pie spice, which is a blend of those two, plus ginger and ground cloves.
In the interest of international cooperation, this is probably what I can buy as Ground Mixed Spice.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sun May 17, 2009 1:14 pm UTC

I have ground cinnamon and whole nutmegs, I think I'll use those instead. Fresh nutmeg is awesome. I just didn't realize how little you have to use, I think it will last me a lifetime. :shock:
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Wed May 20, 2009 6:02 pm UTC

Egg-less cookies

These are epic and really rich.

225g unsalted butter
110g sugar
275g flour (I used self-raising, but the recipe called for plain *shrugs* must not make much of a difference, as there was no rising or anything)
Water
Any other dry/wet ingredients (chocolate, raisins etc)

Cream the butter
Add sugar, mix well
Add flour bit by bit, mixing.
Add other ingredients

Now, at this point I had to add some water, as the dough was not sticking together properly. I found this works best if you add slightly too much water, so that the dough is sticky.

Put walnut size blobs of the dough onto an ungreased baking tray.
Bake for 13-15 mins at 190C/375F/gas mark 5

Good until slightly golden (check them by sticking a knife into a cookie, if the knife comes out clean, they're done :) )
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Thu May 21, 2009 10:40 am UTC

Flourless Chocolate Cake

Serves 6 - 8

This comes out like a slightly dry brownie and benefits from being eaten with cream, custard or ice cream. It's very satisfyingly chocolatey and crumbly. I have only made them in cupcake moulds.

It will last for 3-4 days in an airtight container and is suitable for freezing.

Ingredients
150g (51/2 oz) dark chocolate, broken up
125g (41/2 oz) unsalted butter, chopped
150g (51/2 oz / 2/3 cups) caster / superfine sugar (I used Splenda / sucralose sweetener just fine, following substitution guidelines on the pack)
5 eggs, separated
200g (7 oz / 13/4 cups) ground hazelnuts
1/2 tsp (21/2ml) baking powder
40g (11/2 oz / 1/3 cup) cocoa powder
1 tsp (5ml) ground cinnamon
icing sugar for dusting

Method
  • Preheat the oven to 170o C / 325o F / Gasmark 3
  • Lightly grease a 20cm / 8" round cake tin
  • Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, stirring frequently until melted. Set aside and allow to cool.
  • Cream the butter and sugar in a bowl until pale and fluffy.
  • Add the yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition.
  • Fold in the cooled melted chocolate.
  • Sift the hazelnuts, baking powder, cocoa powder and cinnamon and fold into the chocolate mix.
  • Whisk the egg whites in a separate bowl to stiff peaks.
  • Fold into the chocolate mix with a large metal spoon.
  • Gently spread the mix into the cake tin and bake for approx 1 hour or until a skewer comes out clean.
  • Cool the cake in the tin



Optional: vanilla cream to serve

Ingredients
1 vanilla pod or 1 tsp (5ml) vanilla extract
300ml (101/2 fl oz) whipping cream
1 tbsp (15ml) caster / superfine sugar

Method
  • If using a vanilla pod: split it lengthwise, scrape out the seeds and add to the cream.
  • Beat the vanilla, cream and sugar to soft peaks.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Kulantan » Fri May 22, 2009 8:09 pm UTC

*Warning the following cake is the culinary equivalent of neutronium. Eating too much has been known to cause a localised gravitational collapse.*

Hummingbird Cake

Ingredients

2 cups demerara sugar
2 cups plain flower
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon (optional)

3 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
450g crushed pineapple
2 tsp of vanilla essence (optional)
1 cup chopped banana (slightly overripe is best)
1 cup chopped pecan nuts

Icing

1 package of smooth cream cheese
2 cups of icing sugar
Lemon, orange or what flavour you want the icing to be juice and if it has it, zest

Instructions

In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients: flour, sugar, baking powder and cinnamon.

Break the eggs into another large bowl. Beat lightly. Add oil, pineapple, vanilla, banana ands pecans to eggs. Stir till mixed.

Pour eggs, oil ect. into dry ingredients. Stir till all the ingredients are wet and there are no lumps of flour

Pour into a large cake tin (a circular non-stick tin is best). Don’t use a cake tin with a detachable bottom as the mix will just leak out.
Bake at 165°C (325°F) for 75 minutes.
(The cake is not done if the middle still wobbles like a jelly if you gently shake it)
Stand for a few minutes before turning out.

Icing

Put the icing sugar in a bowl. Add the fruit. Add the cream cheese one tablespoon at a time, stirring as you go. Stop adding the cream cheese when the icing sugar is soft and spreadable.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Gentlelady » Sat May 23, 2009 9:31 pm UTC

For those of you who don't know or have never tried hummingbird cake. You should stop what you are doing and make it. It is divine.

Spoiler:
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Thank you for the recipe Kulantan. I'll try it tonight.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby crowey » Mon May 25, 2009 9:43 pm UTC

Hummingbird cake sounds absolutely amazing. I tried to make it, but realised I don't have the right fruity/nutty bits, so I made a more tropical fruits cake:

Ingredients

400 g demerara sugar
200 g plain flower
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon (optional)

3 eggs
230ml vegetable oil
250g crushed pineapple (plus a slosh of the juice from the tin)
100g dessicated coconut
100g sultanas
2 tsp of vanilla essence (optional)
200g ripe mango
120g chopped walnuts, pistachios and pine nuts

same method as the hummingbird cake. I'll ice it with cream cheese icing once it's cooled. :)
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sat May 30, 2009 9:16 am UTC

Beetroot dip


150g pickled beetroot
150g Philadelphia Extra Light
a few chopped fresh chives
1 tsp lemon juice and a little zest
cucumber sticks, crisp bread or rice crackers to serve


  • Chop one beetroot and reserve.
  • Combine the remaining beetroot in a food processor with the cheese, half the chives and lemon zest and juice.
  • Fold the reserved beetroot through the mixture, place in a a dish and chill for about 15 minutes.
  • Garnish with the remaining chives.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:30 pm UTC

Mama Moo's Simple Yellow Savoury Bread of Deliciousness

An excellent side dish with a barbecue, simply buttered. It's lovely warm, but it's even better the next day when the flavours of the spices intensify.

Ingredients
500g self raising flour
5ml salt
2.5ml turmeric
5ml cayenne pepper
250ml cheese, grated (medium to strong cheddar)
1 packet onion soup powder
10ml dried parsley
5ml dried garlic flakes
500ml buttermilk (or plain, live culture yoghurt)
125ml oil
2 eggs


Method
  • Preheat the oven to 180oC and grease a medium loaf tin.
  • Sieve the flour, salt, turmeric and cayenne pepper together.
  • Add the cheese, soup powder, parsley and garlic, and mix well.
  • In a separate bowl, beat the eggs with the oil and buttermilk.
  • Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and mix well.
  • Transfer to the loaf tin and bake for 1 hour or until a knife stuck in the centre comes out clean.


I am not sure what you can use if you can't get onion soup powder - perhaps stock granules (I'd leave out the salt in that case and reduce the quantity)? It lends a savoury flavour.
Last edited by Moo on Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:37 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:37 pm UTC

[quote="Moo"]Mama Moo's Simple Yellow Savoury Bread of Deliciousness
When you say "sout" you mean salt? Or something else that I can't find? What about using fresh parsley and fresh garlic?
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Moo » Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:40 pm UTC

Ha ha, that's the Afrikaans for salt. I was typing from my Afrikaans recipe without concentrating enough. Fixed now.

I think you can probably use fresh parsley and garlic - a lot of my mom's recipes are geared towards quick, easy, and stuff you have in the cupboard. I don't know if their flavours will be as intense but as long as you have the cheese and cayenne pepper you will retain the "character" of the recipe I think.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby tweetics » Tue Jun 16, 2009 10:05 pm UTC

Here is a recipe for a great dip to much with a well toasted baguette and a great glass of Chardonnay:

1 16oz pkg cream cheese
1 lime
1 bunch of cilantro (stems removed, leafs only)
1/4 cup pine nuts (i toast mine in a cast iron skillet, just to add a bit extra)
2 cloves garlic (also toasted-more if you really love garlic, but watch so it doesn't get too overpowering)
3 tbs Olive Oil

Juice lime until you have about 2 tbs juice (great way of yeilding more is to let your lime sit in hot water for about 10 minutes, then before juicing it roll it back and forth on the counter while applying firm pressure)

Combine all but Olive oil in food processor pulsing into thick paste. While processor is running, add olive oil until completely combined. Scrape from processor and seal to let flavors marry. I give it about 2 hours, usually, but more time doesn't hurt.

Enjoy, this is a great summertime dip.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby harpyblues » Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:32 am UTC

While they're not really healthy, you can pretty much use anything for 'em. Stuffed mushrooms aren't that hard to do, and people seem to like mine, so here goes:

1pkg button mushrooms (or similar shrooms that can be hollowed out) (20-30 shrooms)
3-5 slices white bread, shredded or crumbs (I usually just use white bread for this, but you can probably substitute with whole wheat or other loaf breads)
2 yellow onions, chopped
2-3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of cheese (cheddar, parmesan, blue cheese: works best with a variety of them)
2 green onions, sliced fine
1/4 cup or less of almonds/walnuts/pralines/pecans, slivered or lightly crushed
Tsp chopped chives
Varying dashes of majoram, sage, oregano, basil, pasley (whatever suits your fancy, lots of variations can go with this)
Dash of red pepper flakes (optional)
Dash of bacon bits (optional)
Salt/pepper to taste

1. Fry up chopped onions, chives, garlic, and green onions in butter or cooking oil of your choice at fairly high heat. Carmelize, don't burn.
2. While that's cooking, wash and remove the stems from the mushrooms. When you pop the cap off a mushroom, you'll notice that there's a hollow on the inside of the cap where the stem was. Arrange the caps on a baking sheet, and leave it alone for now.
3. Chop up some of the mushroom stems and add to frying onion mix. Don't add too much, only a 1/4 cup or less.
4. When the onions are done carmelizing, gradually mix in the bread crumbs/crusts while stirring. Add butter/cooking fat or oil of choice as you go, so it mixes in well. It's not supposed to get crunchy. If it gets dry, add more of the oil/butter. Butter works best from what I can tell with this.
5. Add cheese. Gradually drop in a bit at a time, while stirring. This helps it clump together more, and makes it a lot more manageable when you're dropping it into the mushroom caps, besides helping the taste. Make sure it's a fairly strong tasting cheese (avoid the low fat cheeses for the most part, except for the colby jack variations. Low fat mozzarella is pretty nasty and doesn't have much taste). Blue cheese, parmesan, cheddar, and others work well. This should start to look more like stuffing now.
6. Add nuts, herbs, salt,pepper, red pepper flakes, and bacon bits (if you like bacon). Mix in with the rest of the stuffing. At this point, you should start lowering the temp if you haven't already. Let it keep cooking for another minute or more and then remove the pan from heat.
7. Preheat the oven to around 350F or so.
8. Fill the mushroom caps with stuffing. Try to use your hands and get in as much stuffing in the caps as possible. Usually, it's like a teaspoon to a table spoon or more of stuffing per cap.
9. Sprinkle more salt, garlic powder, or nuts on the mushrooms if you so desire.
10. Bake in oven 15-20 minutes, or until brown. Nibble on leftover stuffing.
11. Eat shrooms.

I think you can use crab and other stuff in this as well, with other stuffed mushroom recipes. Button mushrooms work the best for it, but as long as you can get a decent hollow out of the mushroom, it'll work.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby kernelpanic » Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:26 am UTC

Here is a recipe for béchamel sauce, great with pasta. This is enough for 3 people. NOTE: Excuse my units, I just put what I think is needed, so sorry if instead of x g of something I use y cm³

0.75 glass milk
42 cm³ salted butter
2.5 tsp wheat flour
3 tbsp parmesan cheese

OPTIONAL, RECOMMENDED
enough nutmeg so that you can smell it, but not notice change in color
salt, pepper

DIRECTIONS
Boil the milk ( ¹ )
Melt the butter on a pan large enough for all of the ingredients
Add, little by little and while stirring, the flour ( ² )
Add the salt, pepper and nutmeg
When it starts bubbling and the mixture is opaque without lumps, slowly add the still hot milk. Don't stop stirring.
Lower the flame to its lowest, and keep stirring until it reaches desired viscosity (7-10 min)
Add cheese and use

( ¹ ) This is VERY important, the difference between a great dish and uneatable crap
( ² ) Depending on your flour and butter, you may have to stop before you use all the flour. Simply add as much as you can (not too much) but don't let any lumps form.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Alpha Omicron » Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:57 am UTC

An excellent recipe for a glass of water, by a friend of mine.
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Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Magilla » Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:39 am UTC

Garlic Cheese Sauce

Ingredients:
1 clove of garlic (crushed or minced)
1 onion (finely chopped)
60g of butter
30g of plain flour
1 cup of liquid chicken stock
1 cup of milk
75ml of fresh cream
1/2 cup of pizza cheese mix (mixture of grated cheddar, mozzarella and Parmesan)
50g of vintage cheddar cheese, chopped into small blocks
50g of vintage basil and garlic cheese, crumbled into small bits

Method:
Part 1
Put 30g of butter into a saucepan and melt.
Add onion and garlic. Cook until onion is soft and golden.
Add chicken stock and reduce to approx half volume.

While Part 1 is reducing,
Part 2
Melt remaining butter in another saucepan.
Add flour and mix. Cook mixture for 4-5 minutes, taking care not to burn the butter.
Slowly add the milk over heat, while stirring the mixture. Beat smooth.
Add the garlic/onion mixture (part 1) and mix.
Add the cheeses and stir well. make sure all the cheese is melted and mixed in.
Slowly mix the cream into the mixture. Mix well.

Serve hot.


White Garlic Apple Sauce

Ingredients:
1 clove of garlic (crushed or minced)
1 onion (finely chopped)
60g of butter
30g of plain flour
1 cup of Sparkling Apple Juice
1 cup of milk

Method:
Part 1
Put 30g of butter into a saucepan and melt.
Add onion and garlic. Cook until onion is soft and golden.
Add Apple Juice and reduce to approx half volume.

While Part 1 is reducing,
Part 2
Melt remaining butter in another saucepan.
Add flour and mix. Cook mixture for 4-5 minutes, taking care not to burn the butter.
Slowly add the milk over heat, while stirring the mixture. Beat smooth.
Add the garlic/onion mixture (part 1) and mix.

Serve hot.
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