Awesomeness is getting out of hand with my super-brewery fortress. Why is it that that one time when I'm doing a serious, goal-oriented fortress, all the exiting things that I hope for to happen when I'm just goofing around, happens?
First, goblin sieges. They came early (they usually wait for ages), they escalated quickly (usually years between), and they started including local leaders, elites, and general legendary guys (usually just a bunch of wimps).
The third or fourth siege put a stop to the functionality of the brewery. A massive bloodbath, the following tantrum spiral, but I had survived on one hammer and one archer squad, plus a woodcutter who had warded off several early sieges. Things stabilized. Then another dragon paid a visit. It had all limbs, and made its way through my fortress, with long detours up and down to destroy doors and beds with glee. I mass-drafted the remaining population, and they managed to hold the thing off while being slowly eaten.
One dwarf suddenly goes into fey mood. The shortest way between to locations is a straight line, so he decides to walk over the struggling mass of dragon and wrestlers to reach his workshop. The dragon kindly turns its head from the fray, playfully snorting a bout of fire at the fey dwarf. Said booze-guzzler catches fire, finds nothing problematic about that, and goes on his jolly way, trailing a sorry cloud of smoke. Only when his incalescence reaches a critical degree, he is forced to interrupt the mood, going berserk (like so many of his brethren). Fortunately, he burns up before he can do any damage.
The dragon is killed by my wrestlers, but other foes stand ready. A new host of elite goblins; somehow, a lone guard with steel stuff and skills, coupled with a trap-riddled entranceway, repels the siege, but now everyone who's not a child or noble is either crazy, badly injured, or both. Oh well. We're stocked up on booze and meat, let's see how long we can last.
My population of children and dogs gets culled over time by repeated kobold ambushes. You've got to admit the nerve. One of the little blighters picks a fight with a donkey like 5x his size, and instantly gets kicked to death. The rest get butchered by my lone guard.
Time passes along for a while. The next siege will surely take out the remaining pink parasites. And there we see it: A vile force of darkness have arrived! I scan the border to find out what kind of elite soldiers we're dealing with this time over, but there's no-one there! I am thoroughly puzzled. For a while, I wonder if the gobbos have run out of units. I wonder for a while, until I'm suddenly ambushed in the middle of the fortress. By elves. Chalk up another thing that has never happened to me over 1 year of playing Dwarf Fortress. And this is after playing a chasm fortress where I splattered and chasm-ejected elven caravans on a yearly basis, without them ever complaining.
Looks like I shouldn't have let the gobbos kill their diplomat. Especially not after him giving me a hiding for dishonouring the trees. They (the elves, not the trees) are quite puny, though. Good at killing puppies, but my lone guard effortlessly creams them,
A new hammerer and philosopher arrive, as a replacement for the previous, who are in a rather non-functional state (dead). They are the only ones who have travelled here. No doubt, they have had a lot of interesting discussions on the journey.
Let's see... are there any other civilized races left that can be fought? Yeah, that's right. I am now sieged by humans. They've arrived, one dude on a horse, and a bunch of cronies. They have put fire to my outside (technically: a campfire), and are generally trampling the grass and making a nuisance of themselves. Now they're charging. They know where I've got the traps. Oh well.
EDIT: The game crashed. D-U-H.
Awesomeness levels were getting too high for my processor, I assume.