Childhood misconceptions

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:11 pm UTC

Which is why blindness and leprosy are no longer a problems, what with God'n'Jesus curin' all them blind folk back in the day?
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby the_bandersnatch » Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:50 pm UTC

Exactly! :D
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Walter.Horvath » Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:12 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Which is why blindness and leprosy are no longer a problems, what with God'n'Jesus curin' all them blind folk back in the day?

It's funny because it's true getting closer to the truth each day.

Well, except for the cause.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Waldo » Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:53 pm UTC

Oooh, another of mine. When I was little, I thought there was a database of everyone's signatures, like fingerprints. When you signed something, you had to make sure your signature exactly matched the one in the database, or they'd reject it.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby CombustibleLemons » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:12 am UTC

I apparently also thought everyone had a penis when I was little becuase my sis told me a story of me coming into the bathroom when she was peeing and asked her were here penis was.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Vieto » Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:46 pm UTC

Lets see... as a kid, I thought engineers where solely people who operated trains... I blame certain tv shows.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby viscusanima » Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:14 pm UTC

Every time you watch a film where somebody dies, they have to get a new person to take the part and die.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:57 am UTC

lulzfish wrote:I remember this one time I had a constructed memory, it was while I was reading the Wikipedia article on con-...
No, wait..

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby rubber314chicken » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:09 am UTC

I thought that the baby lived in the woman's stomach and ate the food she ate. Then it came out the same way everything else in your stomach does.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby rho421 » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:25 am UTC

The first time I learned about half-lives (must have been about third grade), no one bothered to explain to me that radioactive decay occurred along a smooth curve, so I figured that at every half-life, exactly one-half of the remaining substance disappeared. I must say that my eventual enlightenment was quite a let-down.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby viscusanima » Sun Oct 11, 2009 1:18 pm UTC

rho421 wrote:The first time I learned about half-lives (must have been about third grade), no one bothered to explain to me that radioactive decay occurred along a smooth curve, so I figured that at every half-life, exactly one-half of the remaining substance disappeared. I must say that my eventual enlightenment was quite a let-down.


Wait, you mean that at a half-life, half of the remaining substance hasn't decayed?

Either I'm misinterpreting this and what I've learned is right, or GCSE Physics is bullshit.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Walter.Horvath » Sun Oct 11, 2009 2:26 pm UTC

I always thought that I would never want to curse or drink or anything. That changed awhile ago, and was cemented last night :)

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:15 pm UTC

viscusanima wrote:
rho421 wrote:The first time I learned about half-lives (must have been about third grade), no one bothered to explain to me that radioactive decay occurred along a smooth curve, so I figured that at every half-life, exactly one-half of the remaining substance disappeared. I must say that my eventual enlightenment was quite a let-down.


Wait, you mean that at a half-life, half of the remaining substance hasn't decayed?

Either I'm misinterpreting this and what I've learned is right, or GCSE Physics is bullshit.

He believed that if you had 100g of a substance with a five-minute half-life, you'd have 100g of it right up until 4:59, at which point 50g of it would spontaneously disappear. In real life, it's an exponential curve that is half of whatever the value was five minutes ago.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby rho421 » Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:29 am UTC

Sir_Elderberry wrote:
viscusanima wrote:
rho421 wrote:The first time I learned about half-lives (must have been about third grade), no one bothered to explain to me that radioactive decay occurred along a smooth curve, so I figured that at every half-life, exactly one-half of the remaining substance disappeared. I must say that my eventual enlightenment was quite a let-down.


Wait, you mean that at a half-life, half of the remaining substance hasn't decayed?

Either I'm misinterpreting this and what I've learned is right, or GCSE Physics is bullshit.

He believed that if you had 100g of a substance with a five-minute half-life, you'd have 100g of it right up until 4:59, at which point 50g of it would spontaneously disappear. In real life, it's an exponential curve that is half of whatever the value was five minutes ago.


Right. Yet another example of how, for me, less explanation is never more.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Giant Speck » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:50 am UTC

When I was a little kid, I didn't know that such a thing as grass seed or sod existed. I thought that grass just grew as long as there was dirt there. I assumed this because every time there would be construction work done in our town, grass would just magically appear after the construction was finished.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Plasma Man » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:05 pm UTC

When I found out about sponges being living things, I assumed that meant all sponges came from the sea. I had a mental image of underwater farms, just growing sponges for people to use in their baths. I used to feel bad for the poor sponges that got killed just so we could scrub ourselves in the bath.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Decker » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:16 pm UTC

Plasma Man wrote:When I found out about sponges being living things, I assumed that meant all sponges came from the sea. I had a mental image of underwater farms, just growing sponges for people to use in their baths. I used to feel bad for the poor sponges that got killed just so we could scrub ourselves in the bath.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby katethegreat » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:57 am UTC

When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher told us that money used to be backed by gold from Fort Knox. I thought that meant the money literally had gold leaf on one side... >.<

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Levi » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:25 am UTC

One day everyone will finally see the genius of my cyanide-backed currency! One day!

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:41 am UTC

I had a childrens book about the seas and oceans, and it had a big diagram showing the relative depths of the sea in various places like a beach and a continental shelf. Thing is, I thought the image was to scale horizontally as well as vertically, and this lead me to believe that the continental shelf was just a few metres from the beach. It made me terrified to go swimming in the sea.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Cytoplasm » Mon Feb 07, 2011 2:53 pm UTC

When I was a kid. I thought babies came out the butt, just like everything else.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby thorgold » Tue Feb 08, 2011 12:29 am UTC

When I was in 7th grade I was hyped up over certain properties of triangles I'd "discovered". After ending the year with studies into the various triangle theorems (extended pythagorean theorem and whatnot), I spent weeks figuring out a "new way" to solve any triangle with the minimum amount of data - I construed a primitive system of basic trigonometry. When I started attending school (I had been homeschooled up to that point), I was crushed to find that I'd been beaten by a few centuries.

When I was younger, I had solved all the world's scientific and social, namely in the fields of hunger, overpopulation, and space travel. Then, school happened.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby manictheatrefan » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:03 am UTC

When I was maybe five, my mother told me stories about how when she was little, there were no such things as glue sticks and she and her siblings used wet rice as glue. I somehow got it into my head that glue sticks were made of glue RICE, and decided to taste one. (In fact, I continued eating glue for quite a bit (even after my mother assured me I was most definitely not eating rice) because I quite liked the taste.)

edited waaay too late for stupid typo.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby SurgicalSteel » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:10 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure glue sticks are made of glue. Maybe not the exact same stuff Elmer's in a bottle is, but it's still glue.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:11 pm UTC

Given the context, I'm pretty sure they meant they thought it was made of rice.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby SurgicalSteel » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:18 pm UTC

Now it all makes sense.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Antimony-120 » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:45 pm UTC

Giant Speck wrote:When I was a little kid, I didn't know that such a thing as grass seed or sod existed. I thought that grass just grew as long as there was dirt there. I assumed this because every time there would be construction work done in our town, grass would just magically appear after the construction was finished.


Sod makes it pretty, but grass will grow ANYWHERE there is dirt, just give it a few years. Grass is amazing, amazing, stuff, and annoying as all hell. I'm fairly convinced that cockroaches will die out before grass does.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby The Scyphozoa » Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:48 pm UTC

Antimony-120 wrote:
Giant Speck wrote:When I was a little kid, I didn't know that such a thing as grass seed or sod existed. I thought that grass just grew as long as there was dirt there. I assumed this because every time there would be construction work done in our town, grass would just magically appear after the construction was finished.


Sod makes it pretty, but grass will grow ANYWHERE there is dirt, just give it a few years. Grass is amazing, amazing, stuff, and annoying as all hell. I'm fairly convinced that cockroaches will die out before grass does.

No.

That would be mint.

Have you seen how fast that shit spreads?
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby manictheatrefan » Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:06 am UTC

SurgicalSteel wrote:I'm pretty sure glue sticks are made of glue. Maybe not the exact same stuff Elmer's in a bottle is, but it's still glue.


Tthe thing is, my young self was confused because I speak Cantonese, and in Cantonese the word for glue stick just sort of means "sticky stuff."

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Robstickle » Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:11 am UTC

When I was a child I was convinced that me and my friend could make a robot out of twigs.

I do however remember reading on Cracked (reliable info ftw) that a lot of most people's childhood memories are actually false so I hope this is an example of that...

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby TimelordSimone » Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:38 am UTC

I remember I cried once because I accidentally ate some apple pips and I thought they would grow inside me.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Puggle » Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:00 am UTC

My sister told me that if I swallowed watermelon seeds, they would grow in my tummy and up out of my nose.

So I ate more to see if that would happen :lol:

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Kewangji » Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:08 pm UTC

TimelordSimone wrote:I remember I cried once because I accidentally ate some apple pips and I thought they would grow inside me.

I thought I was going to die because a bully told me that the graphite in pencils was lethal. Five minutes later, I wasn't dead and kinda forgot about it.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby zmatt » Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:03 pm UTC

Plasma Man wrote:When I found out about sponges being living things, I assumed that meant all sponges came from the sea. I had a mental image of underwater farms, just growing sponges for people to use in their baths. I used to feel bad for the poor sponges that got killed just so we could scrub ourselves in the bath.


used to be that way. Not proper farms mind you, at least I don't think so. but many things we take for granted now did not have synthetic counterparts in the early modern world. Two big ones off the top of my head (automotive background) are rubber and lubricants. Rubber used to have to be farmed and was a big problem for the Nazis because their petrochemical industry was behind us and they had no good synthetic.

Giant Speck wrote:When I was a little kid, I didn't know that such a thing as grass seed or sod existed. I thought that grass just grew as long as there was dirt there. I assumed this because every time there would be construction work done in our town, grass would just magically appear after the construction was finished.


If you choose to follow minecraft logic it does.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Dthen » Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:10 pm UTC

Actually, no, Dirt has to be "connected" to grass for grass to grow on it in Minecraft. Otherwise it just stays as dirt.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Menacing Spike » Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:22 pm UTC

I thought sex was simple. Girl meets boy in park, boy parks meat in girl, etc.
But nooo, there is this whole affect thing.

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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Kewangji » Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:43 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:I thought sex was simple. Girl meets boy in park, boy parks meat in girl, etc.
But nooo, there is this whole affect thing.
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:45 pm UTC

I once drew a picture of a pirate entitled "a pirate of 1994".
I knew what year it was (must have been around '96) and I counted back through the historical periods between now and pirate-times, estimating how long each period lasted. I guess I didn't realise that it implied I had to be younger than 2, as I knew I was not around then.

I used to try to do chemistry experiments in the bath. Unfortunately I only had three chemicals: the water in this jug, the water in that jug, and spit. Still, something had to happen if I poured the water between the jugs enough times?

When I was 11 and went to secondary school, everyone kept threatening to "rake" people. I assumed this meant scraping someone with a rake.
Turns out I misheard: they were talking about rape. :shock:
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby 123 » Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:04 pm UTC

That at the age of 16, you were an adult, since you could drive. I also thought everyone got a driver's license at 16, you know, without taking a class or anything.
I also thought that monkeys were in traffic lights, and changed the color of the light... :oops:
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Re: Childhood misconceptions

Postby the_bandersnatch » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:47 pm UTC

123 wrote:That at the age of 16, you were an adult, since you could drive. I also thought everyone got a driver's license at 16, you know, without taking a class or anything.
I also thought that monkeys were in traffic lights, and changed the color of the light... :oops:


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