xkcd

by **1337geek** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:40 pm UTC

I guessed I missed the Billy Joel debate, but I would just like to say this: Billy Joel is a genius. He is the master of putting himself in other people's shoes. He writes autobiographical songs about things that never happened to him, but he makes it sound so real that you think he actually was there. Sometimes he speaks from the heart, though, like "Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)" -- a beautiful lullaby he wrote for his daughter. Now, having said that, Billy also penned the line "you may be wrong, but you may be right." Yeah.

by **Ivora** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:51 am UTC

"Hit me baby one more time" ~ Britney Spears.

.... Really? :shock:

Yeah. Apparently relationship abuse is a catchy rift. :roll:

by **TheAmazingRando** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:01 am UTC

I'm pretty sure the song is using "hit me" in the sense of "give me more" (like with alcohol or playing cards) rather than "physically strike me."

by **Giant Speck** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:49 am UTC

Skillet - Better Than Drugs

I'm agnostic, but I find that I listen to a lot of Christian music because I like the music and not necessarily the religious message, but even if I was religious, I'd find this song to be stupid.

Essentially, it compares God to getting high, which I find both odd and stupid.

by **sylphi** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:53 am UTC

Heidi Montag, anyone?

by **1337goose** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:23 am UTC

The stupidest I've heard is Will.I.Am's "I got it from my momma":

"Baby where’d you get your body from?
Tell me where’d you get your body from.
Baby where’d you get your body from?
Tell me where’d you get your body from.

I got it from my mamma.
I got it from my mamma.
I got it from my mamma.
I got it got it got got it…"

My god man, its basic genetics!!

by **Intrepid** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:27 pm UTC

Ben Lee - Gamble Everything For Love

Gamble everything for love
Gamble everything
Put it in a place you keep what you need
You can gamble everything for love if you're free
You gotta gamble everything for love

Baby are you cold?
Are you cold baby I could wrap you up
Wrap you up in my love
If you wanna you can gamble everything for love

Very catchy song, but the lyrics makes me hurl everytime I hear it

by **Gelsamel** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:39 am UTC

Lithium Flower is an awesome song but it's lyrics are pretty bad to the point of them being pretty awesome.

Lithium Flower wrote:Vocal: Scott Matthew
Words: Tim Jensen
Music: Yoko Kanno

She's so cold and human
It's something humans do
She stays so golden solo
She's so number nine
She's incredible math
Just incredible math

And is she really human?
She's just so something new
A waking lithium flower
Just about to bloom
I smell lithium now
Smelling lithium now

How is she when she doesn't surf?
How is she when she doesn't surf?
How is she when she doesn't surf?
I wonder what she does when she wakes up?
When she wakes up

So matador
So calm
So oil on a fire
She's so good
She's so good
She's so goddess lithium flower
So sonic wave
Yeah, she's so groove, yeah
She's so groove
Yeah

Wow, where did she learn how to surf?
Wow, where did she learn how to surf?
Wow, where did she learn how to surf?
You know I've never seen the girl wipe out

How does she so perfectly surf?
How does she so perfectly surf?
How does she so perfectly surf?
I wonder what she does when she wakes up?

I wanna go surfing with her
I wanna go surfing with her
I wanna go surfing with her
I wanna go surfing with her

by **jameswilliamroy** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:41 pm UTC

Don't get me wrong. I love My Bloody Valentine.

But srsly: Trying to figure out any given MBV lyric is like trying to figure out what you did last night after you blacked out. Everything's really hazy, you have beautiful impressions of most of it, you generally need to consult friends to confirm most of it, and when you finally do figure out what it is? It's pretty dumb.

And then you go and do it again.

by **SirMustapha** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:35 pm UTC

run.dll wrote:The 1910 Fruitgum Company set a new standard for mindless bubblegummery with this dreck in 1968:

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.
I got love in my tummy,
And I feel like a-lovin you:
Love, you're such a sweet thing,
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just a-what I'm gonna do.
... etc. ad nauseum

Can't believe I missed that one. Those lyrics cause nothing than pure horror in me; I can't believe that became an actual hit. I hate it so much that not even the Residents' merciless destruction of it in The Third Reich 'n' Roll eases my pain; I can barely manage to listen to that part of the album, because I hate that song so much.

by **scrt_rbt_agnt** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:08 pm UTC

jameswilliamroy wrote:Don't get me wrong. I love My Bloody Valentine.

But srsly: Trying to figure out any given MBV lyric is like trying to figure out what you did last night after you blacked out. Everything's really hazy, you have beautiful impressions of most of it, you generally need to consult friends to confirm most of it, and when you finally do figure out what it is? It's pretty dumb.

And then you go and do it again.

yeah mbv aren't the greatest lyricists, which is probably part of the reason the vocals are fuzzy and in the background. i don't bother trying to figure out the lyrics to most of their songs, i just sort of "hum" along.

by **Fetzilla** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:43 am UTC

Stevie Nicks is awefull. From "Dreams"

"Thunder only happens when its raining.
Players only love you when they're playing"

As far as observations go these are right up there with "Lightbuls only burn out when there's current." Or maybe "Cars are only cleaned after they're dirtied."

by **Midnight** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 5:06 am UTC

intimidat0r wrote:
Also, how has no one mentioned Rage Against the Machine yet, the masters of repeating themselves over and over, with lyrics that make no damn sense. How many times do I have to listen to "some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses" and "RALLY ROUND THE FAMILY, WITH POCKETS FULL OF SHELLS." I think more than 3/4 of the words in Bulls on Parade are nonsense words.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy RATM, I just try to focus on the instrumentals and the energy. >.>

The problem with Rage Against The Machine is that their first album was the best by an order of magnitude. It's WAY up there on my list of "top debut albums ever". And I don't mind repeats.

Ummm I dunno if it's been said yet, but I'm gonna have to go with anything by Nile. Tu Ahkmen Hebek is like... in Egyptian.

That, or behemoth. like "slaves shall serve"

Spoiler:

and behemoth is
A) totally unintelligible. you need subtitles to figure it out.
b) i like andrew jackson jihad. nergal is RIDICULOUS at fitting words into lines. ridiculously awful.

by **scrt_rbt_agnt** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:19 pm UTC

Fetzilla wrote:Stevie Nicks is awefull. From "Dreams"

"Thunder only happens when its raining.
Players only love you when they're playing"

As far as observations go these are right up there with "Lightbuls only burn out when there's current." Or maybe "Cars are only cleaned after they're dirtied."

it's a metaphor, not an observation.

by **Rinsaikeru** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:05 pm UTC

A pretty good metaphor too. But then, I like that song.

by **Fetzilla** » Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:48 am UTC

scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:it's a metaphor, not an observation.

Not to sound like a condescending nerd, but no it's not.

by **scrt_rbt_agnt** » Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:26 pm UTC

Fetzilla wrote:
scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:it's a metaphor, not an observation.

Not to sound like a condescending nerd, but no it's not.

not to sound like a condescending hipster but i guess you just don't "get" it.

by **thicknavyrain** » Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:33 pm UTC

intimidat0r wrote:Also, how has no one mentioned Rage Against the Machine yet, the masters of repeating themselves over and over, with lyrics that make no damn sense. How many times do I have to listen to "some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses" and "RALLY ROUND THE FAMILY, WITH POCKETS FULL OF SHELLS." I think more than 3/4 of the words in Bulls on Parade are nonsense words.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy RATM, I just try to focus on the instrumentals and the energy. >.>

Yeah sometimes I feel that way too. Then I'll go outside see an annoying advert and say to myself "ALL CAPITALISM IS A BOLLOCKSFEST!" listen to RATM for a bit and then get back to normal.

Being a teenager is fun, the shit might be shit but I don't ever want to give it up.

by **Fetzilla** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:55 am UTC

scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:
Fetzilla wrote:
scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:it's a metaphor, not an observation.

Not to sound like a condescending nerd, but no it's not.

not to sound like a condescending hipster but i guess you just don't "get" it.

Let me defend myself then,

(this is pretty long)

Spoiler:

by **phlip** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:26 am UTC

Fetzilla wrote:Metaphors connect semmingly unrelated things in a unique and/or novel way.

Like, say, thunder and love? They're pretty seemingly-unrelated. Rain and players are pretty unrelated too.

I suppose "analogy" might be a better word than "metaphor", but either way the implication is the same: in much the same way as how thunder has prerequisites on appearing, such as rain, a player's love has prerequisites on appearing, specifically, that that player is currently playing.

by **Gelsamel** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:34 am UTC

Although, it's a bit strange...

I mean really, "Players only love you when they're playing" is fairly sufficient... why the false metaphor before hand? I suppose it's trying to be poetic.

by **Fetzilla** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:38 am UTC

phlip wrote:
Fetzilla wrote:Metaphors connect semmingly unrelated things in a unique and/or novel way.

Like, say, thunder and love? They're pretty seemingly-unrelated. Rain and players are pretty unrelated too.

Ok. Agree to disagree then.

by **TheAmazingRando** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:49 pm UTC

Fetzilla wrote:Ms. Nicks now goes on to say that he going to be lonley in his new found bachelorhood. And continues on saying that the memory of what he had is going to drive him mad. This is 100% grade A crazy. Any woman who thinks that a guy dumps her because he is too happy when he is with her has some serious issues.

How are you getting this interpretation? Where does it even imply that he dumps her because he's too happy with her? The idea is that he's in a pattern of dating her, feeling tied down, leaving, then realizing that what he had was better than what he imagined being free would be like, and coming back. Is "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" really that alien a concept to write a song about? Nicks (it seems) is finally sick of it, and has decided that he isn't worth being with if he isn't going to stick around, since his "love" isn't genuine.

I think the idea is that the phrase "players only love you when they're playing" SHOULD be obvious, in the same sense that the phrase about thunder is obvious, but that it isn't always that obvious to a lot of people. And, yeah, it's stupid to keep letting them come back, that's the whole point of the song, that it isn't something you should put up with because it isn't real love. But saying you don't like the line because it's an obvious observation is pretty clearly missing the parallel she's trying to make with it. It isn't like she wanted it to be subtle and it wasn't, if it was anything but obvious it wouldn't fit the purpose of its inclusion in the song to begin with.

by **maycelestia** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:25 am UTC

Apart from whether it's a metaphor or not, I just don't understand what "Thunder only happens when it's raining" is meant to mean. Is it intentionally untrue? Because I am reasonably sure that thunder quite often happens when it is in fact not raining.

This has always troubled me.

by **Arachnid Tiger** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:10 am UTC

everytime I see you I think of you
everytime I'm near you I think of you
I think of you when I dream of you
when I'm taking pictures of you
I think of you when I'm in a blip looking down from up above you
you know I'm missing you
my mind is kissing you
I'm now right behind you Charlene
waiting watching oh so close
I'm right behind you now charlene
you'll never be alone again no

And yes, this is a real song.

by **Sir_Elderberry** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:07 am UTC

Uh, isn't it intentionally bad, courtesy of the Colbert Report?

by **Arachnid Tiger** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:59 am UTC

It is?

I caught the song off of Rock Band DLC.

by **Chfan** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:07 am UTC

Yes, if it's "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)." Then it's a parody.

by **philsov** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:54 pm UTC

Miley Cirus - Party in the USA

So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yeah
Moving my hips like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party in the USA
Yeah, It's a party in the USA

MOVING LIKE YEAH.

by **Chavroux** » Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:19 pm UTC

"Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful
Making love with you Is all I want to do...."

From "Loving You" by Minnie Ripperton
Rather shallow for such a romantic song.

by **whatwouldjackbauerdo?** » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:40 pm UTC

"Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. I've actually never heard the entire song, because every time I try to listen to it my brain cells begin to die at an exponential rate. But I can attest that the first verse/chorus are absolutely dreadful.

by **TheChewanater** » Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:40 am UTC

Puff the Magic Dragon.

by **1337geek** » Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:49 pm UTC

Arachnid Tiger wrote:everytime I see you I think of you
everytime I'm near you I think of you
I think of you when I dream of you
when I'm taking pictures of you
I think of you when I'm in a blip looking down from up above you
you know I'm missing you
my mind is kissing you
I'm now right behind you Charlene
waiting watching oh so close
I'm right behind you now charlene
you'll never be alone again no

And yes, this is a real song.

This is a comedy bit by Stephen Colbert.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... usic-video

It was turned into a Rock Band song for additional comedic effect.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... -rock-band

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... ock-band-2

by **phlip** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 2:06 am UTC

1337geek wrote:This is a comedy bit by Stephen Colbert.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... usic-video

I think this would be a better link.

by **The EGE** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:02 am UTC

Grand Funk Railroad wrote:We're an American band
We're an American band
We're an American band
We're an American band
...ad infinitium

Gets old reeeeaaaal quick.

by **1337geek** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:41 pm UTC

phlip wrote:
1337geek wrote:This is a comedy bit by Stephen Colbert.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... usic-video

I think this would be a better link.

Yep, you're right. Wouldn't load for me when I posted, so I didn't know if it was the right one. Thanks.

by **TheWeirdDarkGirl23** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:07 am UTC

Any thing by lil' wayne and miley cyrus is horrible.

by **TheChewanater** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:12 am UTC

TheWeirdDarkGirl23 wrote:Any thing by lil' wayne and miley cyrus is horrible.

Please tell me you mean "or".

by **TheWeirdDarkGirl23** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:24 am UTC

no, i mean't both of them. i probably made a mistake.

by **TheChewanater** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:41 am UTC

By that I mean please tell me there is no song by Miley Cyrus and Lil Wayne, there are songs by Miley Cyrus or Lil Wayne.

It was a joke.

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