Joke Skills

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Weasel
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Joke Skills

Postby Weasel » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:43 am UTC

How well are you at being a comedian?

I suck. I have this habit of telling ABOUT jokes instead of actually telling the jokes. Anyone else have that habit?

Instead, I tell my jokes in visual comic form (there is a whole TL;DR reason I am like this. But that's a different topic). And that usually works.

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Fail
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Postby Fail » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:19 am UTC

I'm alot better at telling jokes than I am at making them up. This is why I could never be a comedian. Alot of the "funny" things I say are from xkcd, in fact, as no one I know off of the intertubes is 'cultured' (haha) enough to read this fine establishemnt.

Sometimes I can make things up off the top of my head, though.

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Postby crazyjimbo » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:40 am UTC

I know a lot of jokes, but I'm crap at telling them so I learnt a few years ago not to bother. I'm much more of a say or do something funny when the opportunity arises. Timing is everything.

So, I think of myself as a funny guy, but only surrounded by the right people. I'd suck a stand up.

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Postby __Kit » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:53 am UTC

I'm good, and I'm told this by kids and adults alike, I love improv. my dream would to be a stand-up, but it's a dream not a goal, I'm not working towards it or anything, to unreliable.
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Postby Zohar » Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:49 pm UTC

I know plenty of jokes but I usually ruin them. Many times I don't think of it enough in advance or I give the warning "This isn't going to be funny".
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Mat
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Postby Mat » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:00 pm UTC

I can't repeat jokes at all. It just doesn't work. I get all mumbly and can't figure out what I want to say - I seem to have trouble remembering things and talking and the same time. So yeah I'd make a sucky comedian.

I'm much more of a say or do something funny when the opportunity arises.

Me too. Although whether it is actually funny depends on whether or not you have my strange sense of humour. For example, about 90% of my attempted jokes involve "your face" :oops:

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Postby Castaway » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:02 pm UTC

I can't really tell jokes, but I can tell funny stories fairly well.
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Postby semicolon » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:09 pm UTC

I don't really tell jokes (i.e., a story leading up to a punchline), but I'm (I think) very good at bullshitting in "hilarious" ways, and making jokes about stuff. Usually, the more time you've known me, the less funny I get, though.

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Postby the Cow » Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:54 pm UTC

Can't remember jokes at all. Seems to be some sort of mental block with me.
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Postby JuliaGlass » Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:59 pm UTC

My ridiculous unattainable dream job would be to be a stand-up comedian.

I'm not even that good at telling jokes. Occasionally I'll be good at telling hilarious stories, but I can't just do it on command. I could be funny, but I'm not. At all.

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Postby Owijad » Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:59 pm UTC

I can remember jokes fine, and I don't stumble over them, but apparently there's something about my delivery that makes them not funny.

But I can come up with jokes. I do that on a deadline.
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Postby George Orr » Sun Jul 15, 2007 6:07 pm UTC

I don't really "know" any jokes, the only way I'm ever able to tell one is if something someone else says makes me think of a clever/witty response. I'm not all that used to making people laugh, though, so if something I say is really funny, I often find it hard to stop laughing myself.
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Postby EstLladon » Sun Jul 15, 2007 6:56 pm UTC

I have pretty good memory for not important things. There was time when I really read lots of jokes regularly and I actually knew about 95% percent of all existing funny Russian jokes. Nobody ever could tell me a joke I hadn't already known. I am pretty good at telling them too. But somehow I got tired of it, so I don't update my inner databasee regularly :). I have good reaction and fast mind so I can make a joke response to everything remotedly funny. But they are not always good, so lately I try to restrain myself and think about them before saying :D.
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Postby Sprocket » Sun Jul 15, 2007 6:59 pm UTC

I've done stand up with moderate consequences. I mean, people laughed, moderately.
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Postby ruderalis » Sun Jul 15, 2007 7:01 pm UTC

I mostly make inside jokes around people who won't get them.

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Postby Nomic » Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:20 pm UTC

I tell jokes and make up funny stories absed on some events. People tend to find me funny (well, the ones that aren't creeped out by the aura of pure eeevil! hovering around me). I'vr done standup at school a few times (we had one course about acting), but dunno if I could make a proper comedian (I tend to ahve trouble thinking enough funny things at once to make up a good eprformanse. Most of the stuff I say is in response to what somebody else said)

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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:34 pm UTC

I AM AWESOME.


No really.

I am.



...
See, this was irony, which makes it funny even though it wouldn't nor-- ah forget it.
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Postby TRM » Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:37 pm UTC

I'm good at making completely obnoxious sex jokes.

Also, I'm really good at joking about someone who I don't like. The way I say it is incredibly superficial but people laugh at me most when I'm brutally, verbally ripping something a part.
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Postby Dark Ragnarok » Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:47 pm UTC

I can say extremely stupid things at times...

"dude, cliff, that snake on that commercial...seriously looks like a noodle.... and now i'm hungry for ramen right now...."


but then at others i'll love how i came up with


"Life goal number 42: Find Terri Schiavo's grave and plant vegetables in it"


I think i can be funny and stupid at the same time but thats my take. i only so often tell about jokes then an actual joke.

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Postby Earlz » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:06 pm UTC

I'm really not good at telling jokes(aside from the basics anyway) but I can make up jokes fairly well by improvising...(I don't always improvise though...a lot of the time though, I come up with a good joke idea, and improvise it at the last minute into something funny)

edit:
It can be really easy for me to make up random comebacks and such though..I can also protect myself from stupid mistakes...(by coming back wth something funny based on what I said)
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semicolon
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Postby semicolon » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:30 pm UTC

The only joke I remember making is this:

I have a friend. I'll call him JJ. JJ is his name, so it works. He mostly listens to metal. My other friend discovered the band Tilly and the Wall, and introduced them to JJ. Tilly and the Wall is an incredibly average band -- but they have a tapdancer! That's their thing.

Later on, JJ, in an attempt to annoy another friend, spammed "TILLY AND THE FAGS SUCK DICK" on AIM (not particularly clever, but he wasn't really intending it to be). My friends are douchebags, so there was a lot of drama llama, and now they don't really talk to each other. But I still got to make my joke. I said, "I think I know why JJ doesn't like Tilly and the Fags: because tap shoes don't have double bass!"

Not funny when I tell it over the Internet, but it was hilarious at the time. I promise.

So yeah, this post sucks dick. Sorry.

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Postby ccromwell » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:37 pm UTC

I'm known pretty well for my wit (which does not often include sarcasm -gasp!), but not for my ability to tell jokes. I would be the perfect straight-man or sidekick to a comedian - I work well around other funny people, and I think that the ultimate sin is to laugh at your own joke. In fact, I happen to think that at least half of being funny is learning to keep a straight face in the face of a bunch of people laughing at you.
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Postby sebbeklang » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:39 pm UTC

i don't tell jokes, but occasionally i say funny stuff.
i want more math friends so i can tell math jokes and generally just talk about math stuff. most of my friends are stupid though, so i'll probably just keep saying stuff about their moms. that's about as smart as it gets.
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Postby mrguy753 » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:45 pm UTC

semicolon wrote:The only joke I remember making is this:

I have a friend. I'll call him JJ. JJ is his name, so it works. He mostly listens to metal. My other friend discovered the band Tilly and the Wall, and introduced them to JJ. Tilly and the Wall is an incredibly average band -- but they have a tapdancer! That's their thing.

Later on, JJ, in an attempt to annoy another friend, spammed "TILLY AND THE FAGS SUCK DICK" on AIM (not particularly clever, but he wasn't really intending it to be). My friends are douchebags, so there was a lot of drama llama, and now they don't really talk to each other. But I still got to make my joke. I said, "I think I know why JJ doesn't like Tilly and the Fags: because tap shoes don't have double bass!"

Not funny when I tell it over the Internet, but it was hilarious at the time. I promise.

So yeah, this post sucks dick. Sorry.


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Postby Earlz » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:57 pm UTC

and I think that the ultimate sin is to laugh at your own joke. In fact, I happen to think that at least half of being funny is learning to keep a straight face in the face of a bunch of people laughing at you.

I second that motion...
The times I think things are funniest around friends is when someone is telling somehting funny as if it happened yesterday and they are angry about it(as in, not laughing)

My experience with this differs from joke to joke...some extremely funny jokes I can tell while keeping a straight face and proper tone of voice, while other crappy jokes I just crack up on for no reason...
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Postby Jesse » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:00 pm UTC

I am good at snappy humour. If I just say something in immediate repsonse to something someone says or did, then it is often a cause for amusement. If I am delivering a pre-planned joke, I tend to fail.

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Postby EvanED » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:26 pm UTC

I think I can tell jokes pretty well with one exception, but I'm not all that good at coming up with them.

My big problem is that I have a tendency to laugh myself while telling the joke, which can ruin it. I don't usually do this, but it sometimes happens.

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Mother Superior
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Postby Mother Superior » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

I'm rather good at being funny. Know a lot of jokes, good at telling them, rather quick when it comes to snappy comments and improv. I have a rather love/hate relationship with this girl who's in my radio-club. I hate her, but she's so stupid and slow and so over the top that whenever we're in the same room, I am in the zoooone. And everyone else hates her too so no-one thinks I'm being an ass. 8)
I figure I must be pretty good at it cause I've managed to never gotten kicked out of a classroom by a pissed off teacher, and I used to get going with my english, swedish and sociology teachers.
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Postby justbecause » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:29 am UTC

crazyjimbo wrote:So, I think of myself as a funny guy, but only surrounded by the right people. I'd suck a stand up.


Wait, it's a thread about jokes, but no one is gonna take advantage of that typo???

I don't tell jokes, because I am bad at it. Some people find my thought process hilarious, though, and I don't censor myself well, so people laugh at a lot of the things I say.

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Postby kcr » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:29 am UTC

When I'm with my friends, I get all flustered when I talk and have mouth-spaz attacks or whatever. I don't really know how to describe except to say, I'm bad at talking. Occasionally I'll say something they find funny. (Lots of sarcastic remarks from this here mouth.) BUT, when I do public speaking, I'm actually pretty good at it and people find me funny. It's odd, but nice.

So.. good at/funny with one liners or just amusing comments but when it comes to jokes in the traditional sense, I suck. I tend to forget exactly how they go and mess them up along the way, or I start laughing in the middle because I find them funny and obviously that never works.

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Postby parkaboy » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:31 am UTC

i'm awful at the delivery unless they are very short. i get alot of "no wait, thats not right. hang on" moments or i'm laughing so hard at the on-coming punchline that i cant GET to the punchline.
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Postby Verysillyman » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:33 am UTC

I'm pretty funny. Might start stand up soon.

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Postby ccromwell » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:46 am UTC

Earlz wrote:
and I think that the ultimate sin is to laugh at your own joke. In fact, I happen to think that at least half of being funny is learning to keep a straight face in the face of a bunch of people laughing at you.

I second that motion...
The times I think things are funniest around friends is when someone is telling somehting funny as if it happened yesterday and they are angry about it(as in, not laughing)

My experience with this differs from joke to joke...some extremely funny jokes I can tell while keeping a straight face and proper tone of voice, while other crappy jokes I just crack up on for no reason...


The laughing-at-stupid-stuff-but-not-laughing-at-funny-stuff mentality sounds about right. I, personally, have a bizarre and somewhat childish sense of humor. I get a lot of pleasure out of puns and just flat-out stupid shit; but I know enough about other people's senses of humor to make a lot of people laugh (apparently).
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parkaboy
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Postby parkaboy » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:07 am UTC

i have a weakness for puns and pirate jokes, which are usually just puns anyway.
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Postby EvanED » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:14 am UTC

apocralypse wrote:i have a weakness for puns and pirate jokes, which are usually just puns anyway.


Maybe you would like this song (possibly NSFW lyrics). It combines those two elements.

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Postby Weasel » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:19 am UTC

My favorite practical joke is giggling at something someone says and watching them get all flustered as they try and figure out all the ways what they said could be twisted to being perverted. Even if I didn't twist it in my head, I have too much of a history of sex and perverted jokes that they don't get all paranoid.

My catchphrase is "necrophilia is fun", which can be interjected into a conversation a lot more than you'd think. ("My feet are killing me." "Necrophilia is fun!" "The batteries in my calculator died." "Necrophilia is fun!" :D)

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Postby notzeb » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:28 am UTC

crazyjimbo wrote:I'd suck a stand up.

Seriously?

Edit: Beaten to it. I should've read the whole thread.

Should someone sig this? Just in case?
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Postby e946 » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:53 am UTC

CatProximity wrote:I've done stand up with moderate consequences. I mean, people laughed, moderately.


When I read "moderate consequences", I pictued friends hanging around you less, getting a verbal warning at work, a girlfriend withholding sex for a week, etc.

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Postby une see » Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:30 am UTC

I don't do jokes. Jokes do me.

Yeah, I don't know very many jokes. Who can remember them all? I sometimes do funny things, and/or say funny things, and/or funny your mom, and/or just be funny. But not jokes. Never jokes.

Incidentally, has anyone ever done The Aristocrats joke? That's one of the few jokes that I do know of, and I dream of one day sitting down with Bob Saget and his button-down vest and glasses, and listening to a 72-hour crudefest, blue humor galore, courtesy of the Saget. It'd be pretty awesome.
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Postby Maseiken » Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:52 am UTC

I've done Stand up, I was amongst the most funny High-school goers that could be bothered registering for the Class Clowns competition here in Oz.


I like to think I'm pretty good, I'm planning to integrate music into my act, get some Momedy goin on...
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