Kirk vs. a Dalek

[You, sir, name?]

Who would win in a fight? James T. Kirk or a Dalek? (Keep in mind the 40 foot plot armor of Kirk)

The case:

Both are very trigger happy:

Kirk shoots first and asks questions later because he's awesome.
Daleks shoot first and ask questions later because they're seeing something that isn't a Dalek.


Both possess superhuman powers:

Kirk is Captain James T. Kirk. He can do this.
Daleks are cyborgs.


Both make strange pauses in their speech:
Kirk: My name ... is ... James T... Kirk. I am ... Awesome!
Dalek: EX...TER...MI...NATE! EX...TER...MI...NATE! EX...TER...MI...NATE!

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.

[You, sir, name?]

Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.

Daleks can ascend stairs.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Since Youtube is blocked at work, I have no way of knowing whether or not what you say is true.

[Berengal]

If they ever were to face off, Kirk would somehow send the Daleks into a black hole/time warp/space anomaly, thereby punting the problem to some other time. Since both are time travellers, this is going to happen sooner than usual, and you can expect the rest of the series to be full of these showdowns ad nauseum. Taking into account the histories of these two, every second episode would suck horribly and the series will be running for at least 40 years.

Since Youtube is blocked at work, I have no way of knowing whether or not what you say is true.

The Dalek battle-armor is a fucking spaceship. Of course they can ascend stairs.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.

[Random832]

Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.

Build a staircase to orbit. The space shuttle will not be prevented from entering orbit by the presence of the staircase.

It's not so much ascending stairs as ascending empty space that happens to be next to stairs. The point is the stairs do not present an obstacle.

[You, sir, name?]

Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.

Really, no problem at all. The structural integrity of the building after launching a space shuttle indoors remains to be seen, though.

[Robstickle]

Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Who needs to climb stairs when you can just level the building?

[You, sir, name?]

who is the other guy supposed to be??

Kirk
Daleks

[jazzcat]

What about a Dalek vs. Denny Crane?

http://www.livevideo.com/video/AFB47874A5634BF98FF13F7152FED2EA/sneak-peek-1-of-boston-legal-.aspx

[Philwelch]

Kirk can disable or destroy any robot or computer by talking it into a paradox.

A Dalek is a robot.

I believe the conclusion follows.

[You, sir, name?]

Kirk can disable or destroy any robot or computer by talking it into a paradox.

A Dalek is a robot.

I believe the conclusion follows.

A Dalek is not a robot. It's like a tank with a small squid-like operator inside of it.

[Philwelch]

It's a cyborg. You're quibbling over meaningless differences.

[You, sir, name?]

It's a cyborg. You're quibbling over meaningless differences.

It is a meaningful difference. Kirk's ability to destroy robots with paradoxes stems from limitations in artificial intelligence.

[aleflamedyud]

Kirk will be EXTERRRMINAAATED!!!!!

[Mazuku]

Kirk will win against a Dalek for the same reason why The Doctor always wins, because the Daleks never consider just shooting the guy while the hero yammers on about some bollocks.

[Vieto]

Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...

[BigGator5]

Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.

Daleks can ascend stairs.

Real Daleks don't need to climb stairs, they can just level the building!

[hintss]

but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?

[BigGator5]

but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?

I said REAL Daleks!

[philsov]

Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...

will either whip out a firearm able to one-shot a dalek.... or just repeat his name several times, to no effect, and then die.

[Vieto]

Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...

will either whip out a firearm able to one-shot a dalek.... or just repeat his name several times, to no effect, and then die.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRnSnfiUI54
DAAAAAALLEEEEEKK!!!!!!
DAAAAAALLEEEEEKK!!!!!!

[Mr. Burke]

Of course the Dalek would win. Because Daleks are SUPERIOR! DALEKS ARE THE MASTERS OF EARTH. KIRK WILL BE EXTERMINATED!
DO. NOT. BLASPHEME!

[Magnanimous]

Kirk is only superior in one respect: He is better at dying.

[Mr. Burke]

Kirk is only superior in one respect: He is better at dying.

Kirk is a Cyberman?

[Cyrusm]

mono y mono kirk vs. a dalek, I'm pretty sure Kirk would be instantaneously incinerated in a flash of low budget tv graphics.
however, if Kirk happened to have the big E and his crew to back him up, I think he might have a serious chance at winning. but with heavy losses.

and only against one dalek, there's no way all of Starfleet combined could possibly take on the mighty dalek empire.

[Brickmack]

Kirk: Disintegrated
Dalek: Floating away to the next helpless, pathetic, weak human to be killed.

[phlip]

mono y mono

The term is "mano-a-mano". Or... "mano-a-émbolo", if I'm using Google Translate right.

[StNowhere]

I choose other, because it's basic rock-paper-dynamite one-upmanship: Kirk gets vaporized by Dalek, Doctor incinerates a galaxy to kill Dalek. The Doctor is Triangle Man to all others' Particle Man.

Edit: If I have to pick one or the other, the choice is clear: EX-TER-MI-NATE.

[KeyserSoze]

but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?

I said REAL Daleks!

Heh.

Of course, without Davros, real Daleks were controlled by the computers, so they could still get locked into never-ending non-war states against other computer races...

[McCaber]

Always bet on Kirk.

[cerbie]

Kirk. If The Doctor, who is very much not trigger happy, can survive, thwart, and kill Daleks, Kirk could easily do so. I mean, they get how many chances to kill The Doctor? All it would take is a few dozen shots making their mark, right?

[Wombat2k]

They can`t kill the Doctor. After the time wars he`s the only one who can idenify the Real daleks. All sub daleks must be exterminated.
Kirk by himself doesn`t stand a chance. He has no psychic powers. With the full support of his crew I`d give them about 50/50.
Daleks have never had a problem with stairs after the battle on Skaro. They were defeated because thay couldn`t move on anything but metal. Davros did a rapid redesign.
Now if Kirk had psychic 3 and a baseball bat obviously he would kick ass.
PROOF
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkq4uJXArm0

also Ace. Best companion ever.