You will kill a minimum of three animals to make this. Four is better.
1/4lb bacon, finely chopped
1lb* meat a, chopped or ground
1lb* meat b, chopped or ground
1 quart stock c
*More is good, less is soup. Three pounds of meat is doable, four is stretching it.
What makes bolognese different than dumb old tomato sauce is the combination of meat flavors. It's actually fairly slight on the tomato, and you can use many things to enhance the sweetness other than just tomatoes and onions; you can use carrots or anything else that cooks to goo (I've used a half-pound of finely chopped brown mushrooms once, that was greatness). The important thing is blending animals just right. If you can get real lard (unsmoked, uncured bacon) that's better, but bacon's handy and you should always have some anyway.
For the four meat flavors, you got your pork locked in, but sausage is different than bacon. This is one of those dishes ground veal is generally called for, but it's expensive, so ground beef is OK, too. You'll want poultry in it, so either use chicken or turkey stock or if you have a leftover roast chicken, chop that up and use beef or veal stock. Vegetable stock is alright, too, provided you still have a pig, a cow, and a bird already in there. They don't have to be ground meats, although it helps that at least one is, otherwise it'll be a bit soupy. This is a great way to exploit game meats, too.
You'll also need
a large can of whole peeled tomatoes
a can of tomato paste
two onions or one onion and some other vegetable matter, finely chopped
half a bunch of garlic, finely chopped (or half chopped, half sliced)
two tablespoons dried oregano
one tablespoon dried thyme leaves (not powdered)
one teaspoon black pepper
salt to taste
one tablespoon crushed red pepper or one teaspoon cayenne pepper or anything else that makes it burny
fresh herbs to taste (if you're using basil, it goes in at the last minute before serving, otherwise, parsley and oregano go in with the other flavoragens
1c heavy whipping cream
In a big pot, cook the chopped-up bacon until it starts to brown but not crisp. Then add in your vegetables and half of your half-bunch of garlic (the chopped half) and some salt. When the onions start to caramelize and the water's cooked off, add in the other meats, some salt, and cook those until they start to brown.
Then clear some space at the bottom of the pan to fry the herbs in. This makes it nutty and delicious. Don't burn them, you don't want it bitter, just toasted.
Stir in the tomato paste, and using the lid as a strainer, pour all the tomato juice in too. Press down and get all the juice that you can out. Add the stock, too. Then, using a spoon or whatever, mash the tomatoes in the can. Be sure to be mad enthusiastic about this and squirt juice all over the kitchen.
Add the mashed tomatoes, spices, and remainder of the garlic (the sliced half). Simmer until it starts to thicken, stir it and mash up the tomatoes while you're at it, then add the cream. It'll get quite a bit thicker. Adjust the taste; once you pour the cream in it'll probably need more salt than you expect and possibly more hot stuff. Depending on the vegetables used, you may need to thicken it with arrowroot, corn flour, potato starch, or even bread crumbs. You can also use corn starch but you have to add it after it's done simmering or it'll thin out again. (If you're not using corn flour, remember to mix the starch with cold water before adding it to the sauce, otherwise, you'll get rubber lumps in it.)
This is one of those dishes where the principle is lots of meat and not too much tomato. Everything else is variable, although if you don't use lots of thyme and oregano I doubt it'll taste right. Same thing goes for garlic. But I've also put odd spices in, like nutmeg, clove, and anise, all worked great.
And if you have a pasta machine or a rolling pin and patience, here's how you make noodles:
1c flour
1 egg
pinch of salt
some water
Scale it appropriately; I generally read it 1 dough unit per person, but that will make too much. Oh well. Don't make it in batches greater than three units, you can't handle four units.
On the counter make a flour volcano, and pour the salted, beaten egg into the caldera. Fork the flour into it until you can ball it; if it doesn't stick, add water, not more than a teaspoon at a time. You shouldn't need to flour your counter much at all. Pasta dough is done when it's softer than clay but harder than Play-Do.
If you don't have a pasta machine, you can make stuffed pasta real easily. Roll a coin-sized ball into a disk, brush one side with egg, put some cheese or whatever (ricotta with minced basil and parmesean or asiago and a little egg is pretty standard) and twist the top together like a Jolly Rancher, and press into the top of the twist to pinch it together. If this turns out to be a pain, set another disk on top of it and pinch the edges together with a fork. Fresh pasta boils for no more than five minutes, more like three.
Or just layer it out with that filling, altering it with the sauce in layers, maybe even add a layer of sauteed spinach, smother it all with cheese, and bake it. There's a name for that, I think.
Oh, and get friends to



