Kirk vs. a Dalek

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Kirk vs. Dalek

Captain James T. Kirk
34
38%
Dalek
41
46%
Otter/EX-TER-MI-NATE! EX-TER-MI-NATE! EX-TER-MI-NATE!
15
17%
 
Total votes : 90

Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

Who would win in a fight? James T. Kirk or a Dalek? (Keep in mind the 40 foot plot armor of Kirk)

The case:

Both are very trigger happy:

Kirk shoots first and asks questions later because he's awesome.
Daleks shoot first and ask questions later because they're seeing something that isn't a Dalek.


Both possess superhuman powers:

Kirk is Captain James T. Kirk. He can do this.
Daleks are cyborgs.


Both make strange pauses in their speech:
Kirk: My name ... is ... James T... Kirk. I am ... Awesome!
Dalek: EX...TER...MI...NATE! EX...TER...MI...NATE! EX...TER...MI...NATE!
Last edited by You, sir, name? on Fri Aug 27, 2010 6:31 am UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:44 pm UTC

Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:10 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.


Daleks can ascend stairs.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:22 pm UTC

Since Youtube is blocked at work, I have no way of knowing whether or not what you say is true.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Berengal » Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:23 pm UTC

If they ever were to face off, Kirk would somehow send the Daleks into a black hole/time warp/space anomaly, thereby punting the problem to some other time. Since both are time travellers, this is going to happen sooner than usual, and you can expect the rest of the series to be full of these showdowns ad nauseum. Taking into account the histories of these two, every second episode would suck horribly and the series will be running for at least 40 years.

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Since Youtube is blocked at work, I have no way of knowing whether or not what you say is true.

The Dalek battle-armor is a fucking spaceship. Of course they can ascend stairs.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:10 pm UTC

Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Random832 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:15 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.


Build a staircase to orbit. The space shuttle will not be prevented from entering orbit by the presence of the staircase.

It's not so much ascending stairs as ascending empty space that happens to be next to stairs. The point is the stairs do not present an obstacle.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:31 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Really. Let's see the Space Shuttle go up stairs.


Really, no problem at all. The structural integrity of the building after launching a space shuttle indoors remains to be seen, though.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Robstickle » Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:01 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.


Who needs to climb stairs when you can just level the building?
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Tue Jan 12, 2010 7:05 am UTC

JoeyHarps123 wrote:who is the other guy supposed to be??


Kirk
Daleks
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby jazzcat » Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:32 am UTC

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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Philwelch » Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:51 am UTC

Kirk can disable or destroy any robot or computer by talking it into a paradox.

A Dalek is a robot.

I believe the conclusion follows.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:41 am UTC

Philwelch wrote:Kirk can disable or destroy any robot or computer by talking it into a paradox.

A Dalek is a robot.

I believe the conclusion follows.


A Dalek is not a robot. It's like a tank with a small squid-like operator inside of it.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Philwelch » Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:41 am UTC

It's a cyborg. You're quibbling over meaningless differences.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby You, sir, name? » Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:49 am UTC

Philwelch wrote:It's a cyborg. You're quibbling over meaningless differences.


It is a meaningful difference. Kirk's ability to destroy robots with paradoxes stems from limitations in artificial intelligence.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:33 am UTC

Kirk will be EXTERRRMINAAATED!!!!!
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mazuku » Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:07 pm UTC

Kirk will win against a Dalek for the same reason why The Doctor always wins, because the Daleks never consider just shooting the guy while the hero yammers on about some bollocks.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Vieto » Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:46 am UTC

Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby BigGator5 » Tue Sep 07, 2010 11:54 pm UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Kirk could make a rudimentary bazooka from available materials, while the Daleks continue to be foiled by stairs.

Also, a poll would have really helped.

Daleks can ascend stairs.

Real Daleks don't need to climb stairs, they can just level the building!
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby hintss » Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:56 pm UTC

but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby BigGator5 » Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:36 pm UTC

hintss wrote:but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?

I said REAL Daleks!
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby philsov » Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:05 pm UTC

Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...


will either whip out a firearm able to one-shot a dalek.... or just repeat his name several times, to no effect, and then die.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Vieto » Tue Sep 14, 2010 11:20 pm UTC

philsov wrote:
Kirk would be EXTERMINATED

Denny Crane, on the other hand...


will either whip out a firearm able to one-shot a dalek.... or just repeat his name several times, to no effect, and then die.

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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mr. Burke » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:57 pm UTC

Of course the Dalek would win. Because Daleks are SUPERIOR! DALEKS ARE THE MASTERS OF EARTH. KIRK WILL BE EXTERMINATED!
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Magnanimous » Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:38 pm UTC

Kirk is only superior in one respect: He is better at dying.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Mr. Burke » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:37 am UTC

Magnanimous wrote:Kirk is only superior in one respect: He is better at dying.

Kirk is a Cyberman?
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Cyrusm » Tue Oct 26, 2010 5:22 pm UTC

mono y mono kirk vs. a dalek, I'm pretty sure Kirk would be instantaneously incinerated in a flash of low budget tv graphics.
however, if Kirk happened to have the big E and his crew to back him up, I think he might have a serious chance at winning. but with heavy losses.

and only against one dalek, there's no way all of Starfleet combined could possibly take on the mighty dalek empire.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Brickmack » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:50 am UTC

Kirk: Disintegrated
Dalek: Floating away to the next helpless, pathetic, weak human to be killed.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby phlip » Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:30 am UTC

Cyrusm wrote:mono y mono

The term is "mano-a-mano". Or... "mano-a-émbolo", if I'm using Google Translate right.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby StNowhere » Sun Oct 31, 2010 10:01 pm UTC

I choose other, because it's basic rock-paper-dynamite one-upmanship: Kirk gets vaporized by Dalek, Doctor incinerates a galaxy to kill Dalek. The Doctor is Triangle Man to all others' Particle Man.

Edit: If I have to pick one or the other, the choice is clear: EX-TER-MI-NATE.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby KeyserSoze » Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:47 pm UTC

BigGator5 wrote:
hintss wrote:but the dalek will be emotionally touched then self destruct if it is held in captivity for a number of years, then talked to by a girl, right?

I said REAL Daleks!

Heh.

Of course, without Davros, real Daleks were controlled by the computers, so they could still get locked into never-ending non-war states against other computer races...
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby McCaber » Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:33 am UTC

Always bet on Kirk.
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby cerbie » Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:54 am UTC

Kirk. If The Doctor, who is very much not trigger happy, can survive, thwart, and kill Daleks, Kirk could easily do so. I mean, they get how many chances to kill The Doctor? All it would take is a few dozen shots making their mark, right?
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Re: Kirk vs. a Dalek

Postby Wombat2k » Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:12 pm UTC

They can`t kill the Doctor. After the time wars he`s the only one who can idenify the Real daleks. All sub daleks must be exterminated.
Kirk by himself doesn`t stand a chance. He has no psychic powers. With the full support of his crew I`d give them about 50/50.
Daleks have never had a problem with stairs after the battle on Skaro. They were defeated because thay couldn`t move on anything but metal. Davros did a rapid redesign.
Now if Kirk had psychic 3 and a baseball bat obviously he would kick ass.
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