The worst film you've seen

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby dubsola » Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:24 pm UTC

Jorpho wrote:
MotorToad wrote:Lost in Translation. WTF. Was there a point to this at all? Anything?
It's a nonstop thrillride compared to Broken Flowers, another movie about Bill Murray doing nothing.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SirMustapha » Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:57 pm UTC

Paranormal Activity was good, but I also disagree with the "scariest film ever!!!". But then again, I don't watch films to be scared, but to be ENTERTAINED, for fuck's sake. (but as far as I care, Rec was far more intense and entertaining)

The Human Centipede... does that even deserve being watched? I've read the premise and, as far as I care, that's all one needs to know about it.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zarq » Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:28 pm UTC

[Rec] is awesome. Potentially the best horror movie I've seen in the last couple of years. The group panic scenes were way more realistic than in (most) other horror movies.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:59 am UTC

SirMustapha wrote:But then again, I don't watch films to be scared, but to be ENTERTAINED, for fuck's sake.
For some people the two are synonymous. To be scared in a safe manner - ie a horror funhouse, a scary movie, etc, is to be entertained. There's people out there who watch films in which they know one of the protagonists are going to die in a heartbreaking manner and watch the films specifically to bawl their eyes out. There's people who watch romantic films to get swept up in the feelings of a new love. There's people who watch action flicks to see shit explode.

So yeah, being scared is part of the entertainment spectrum. It doesn't appeal to you. That's fine. Don't insult the people who are entertained.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Dustin » Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:04 am UTC

People were scared bv Paranormal Activity? I watched it in a theater, and everyone laughed at the ending, the ouija board scene, and the all the noises and prop movements except one woman that was needled by her friends for it. It's 80% boring and annoying, 20% hilarious.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Amnesiasoft » Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:51 pm UTC

Am I a bad person for not liking UHF at all?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:05 am UTC

Eh, UHF takes a certain taste. Don't feel too bad.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mother Superior » Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:53 pm UTC

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:00 am UTC

The third movie in The Mummy series. I refuse to dignify the movie by referring to it's full name.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:03 am UTC

Triangle_Man wrote:The third movie in The Mummy series. I refuse to dignify the movie by referring to it's full name.

Wait, the spinoff, or the "Jet Li lost a bet" one?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:25 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
Triangle_Man wrote:The third movie in The Mummy series. I refuse to dignify the movie by referring to it's full name.

Wait, the spinoff, or the "Jet Li lost a bet" one?


I'm fairly sure that Jet Li only acted in that movie because he lost a bet.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:53 pm UTC

..that was the joke..
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:59 pm UTC

Jeez, twice this week that you made a joke and someone explained it.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Foremorrow » Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:29 am UTC

There are really much too many for me to narrow down to just one item. I despise the vast majority of films. I'll just pick the most recent film I saw at the theatre, "Skyline". My friend and I decided to see it with full knowledge that it was very likely going to be a terrible film in the hope that its terribleness would be somewhat funny, which actually worked quite well. Not only my friend and I were laughing, but a man across the aisle was roaring with laughter along with us. (The most humorous occasions were the attempted sad and emotional scenes.)

Would someone please explain to me the relationship between spoons and bad films in theatres?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby dawg1232 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:18 pm UTC

The Stuff It's so bad, it's good. But, the horrible production values and the thought of randomly eating something you find on the ground just makes me not like this movie. There is a character named Chocolate-Chip Charlie though. That's a positive.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:09 pm UTC

Foremorrow wrote:Would someone please explain to me the relationship between spoons and bad films in theatres?
It is a phenomenon exclusive to Wiseau's "The Room" (or so I believe). Among the many, many inexplicable things that happen in the movie, there is a table featured in some shots which very much appears to bear a small, framed picture of: a spoon.

Showings of "The Room" are often raucous affairs akin to screenings of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", the achetypal throwing-things-at-the-screen movie, and tradition (?) dictates that when the spoon is on screen, all shall yell "SPOOOOOON!" and let loose with plastic spoons. It's a good deal more sanitary than rice or toast, it must be said.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Midnight » Mon Dec 13, 2010 8:30 am UTC

dubsola wrote:
Jorpho wrote:
MotorToad wrote:Lost in Translation. WTF. Was there a point to this at all? Anything?
It's a nonstop thrillride compared to Broken Flowers, another movie about Bill Murray doing nothing.

Philistines

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ralph Slatton » Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:03 am UTC

By today's standards, "This Island Earth" is probably the worst film, or at least the most notably stereotypical film I've ever seen. Yet, it is also the most beloved one from my childhood. I've always loved and cringed at the thought of it. As most of you probably know, it was honored in the MST3k hall of stinkers. Upon closer examination, it seems to be a a fairly well written and executed film, but isn't appreciated for its dated appearance and now, overused plot. I created a web page in tribute to it. I hope it's ok to link to my page. At the moment, the site is only a hub to existing information, but my plan is to add original content in the coming months. http://www.interocitor.us
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:30 am UTC

Star Trek: The Next Generation films.

Pick one, and I'll stuff you in Mr Plinkett's creepy basement.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Idhan » Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:06 pm UTC

The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud was pretty bad. I watched it on an airplane. It was sort of maudlin and uninspired and such. I don't know if there was enough to it to put it into "worst film I've seen," though.

UPDATE: Oh, and Cube probably deserves a mention as an exercise of pointless and unmotivated cruelty and gore. Once again, I'm not sure if it should count as a "worst film I've seen," but I got it from Netflix thinking it was the Jim Henson-directed teleplay, The Cube, and it was... rather different. Although, actually, its premise wasn't that different -- just its execution and tone were completely different.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:26 am UTC

Cube was kind of appealing, actually. David Hewlitt! The sequel is rather worse, though I did like some of the fancy CG bits.

If you want to watch the Jim Henson thing, it's on Google Video (and that's apparently the only place pretty much anyone can watch it anymore, I understand).
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Idhan » Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:09 am UTC

Jorpho wrote:Cube was kind of appealing, actually. David Hewlitt! The sequel is rather worse, though I did like some of the fancy CG bits.


Yeah. Come to think of it, it wasn't that bad. I found some of the cruelty and violence (the sushi machine, the base sprayer, Maurice Wint's psycho-ness by the end of the film) distasteful, but some of the political debates among the characters were kind of interesting. The number system was also kind of interesting, although it was kind of unfortunate that they treated computing all of the 3-digit prime powers as a really hard math problem requiring computers to solve, whereas when you think about it, recognizing three-digit prime numbers is actually a fair bit harder than just figuring out three digit prime powers with exponents > 1. (i.e., 31^2, 29^2, 23^2, 19^2, 17^2, 13^2, 11^2, 7^2, 7^3, 5^2, 5^3, 5^4, 3^(2 through 6), 2^(2 through 9)

Jorpho wrote:If you want to watch the Jim Henson thing, it's on Google Video (and that's apparently the only place pretty much anyone can watch it anymore, I understand).


Yeah. I figured that out after the NetFlix mistake. :) Ah well.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby HiFranc » Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:10 am UTC

Worst film I've ever seen is House of Witchcraft. It's an Italian horror film.

Everything is predicatable and obvious. Not only that but the director feels it necessary to re-play the clues to you just in case you missed it (patronising and defuses the tension), dubbing and acting were bad, etc.

I only watched about 20 mins of it but I still remember it well after 6 years. The film, itself, wasn't scary, it's the thought of seeing it again is!
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby bobbygreencheese » Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:37 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Star Trek: The Next Generation films.

Pick one, and I'll stuff you in Mr Plinkett's creepy basement.


First Contact was awesome!!

but Nemesis was the most disappointing thing I have ever seen in my life...
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby APolaris » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:46 pm UTC

I joined the forum just to add a few films to this list that I'm surprised aren't showing up much.

1) The Blair Witch Project. AKA "90 minutes of stoned college kids running around the woods with a camera screaming because they walked in a loop." The worst film I've ever seen.

2) The Haunting of Molly Hartley. The only film so bad I can't even make fun of it. Second worst.

3) Gigli. "Turkey time? Gobble gobble." Enough said.

And for honorary mention:

The Norseman. The most worthy all-time film of mockery. Just to name a few of this gem's more endearing traits:

Spoiler:
Lee Majors - yes, Lee Majors - playing a "Noorz-min."
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:39 pm UTC

APolaris wrote:P.S. There's a black Viking. Let me repeat that. There's a black Viking.
Heimdall?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby |Erasmus| » Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:28 am UTC

bobbygreencheese wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:Star Trek: The Next Generation films.

Pick one, and I'll stuff you in Mr Plinkett's creepy basement.


First Contact was awesome!!

I've tried watching it twice, and it's put me to sleep both times... :/
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jupiter » Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:19 am UTC

Elephant has to be the worst movie i ever seen.
Looooong 10 minutes cameras of a guy walking down the street', nothing happens, uff
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SurgicalSteel » Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:26 am UTC

Are you talking about the long tracking shot of the guy walking through the school near the beginning? I love that shot.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Midnight » Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:34 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
APolaris wrote:P.S. There's a black Viking. Let me repeat that. There's a black Viking.
Heimdall?

The problem with most of the criticism of this is that most of the critics are also racists.
But, I agree with penny arcade in that even a racist clock can be right twice a day, if you actually care about the correct race of the fictional characters in the movie adaptation of the fictional characters of the comic book which is based on fictional characters.

From the trailer, it doesn't look like Thor was put in a disabled doctor's body like he was in the comics, and I'm not seeing a cane that turns into mjolnir, so I'm gonna say this movie is gonna be awful. If you lack the ability to come up with an original idea and you have to use a comic book (which is not only a script but a freaking storyboard), don't fuck with the source material! You've demonstrated that you lack creative ability, so why try and be creative with something?! Comic books are a get-out-of-jail-free card for filmmaking teams! Why would you fuck with the card?! It gets you out of jail! For free!

I'm gonna drink some coffee, but before I do, let me add a vote for "BATTLEFIELD: EARTH."
Saw the first 10 minutes, had to put it away cause the camera angles were utterly absurd. The whole movie was like the scene in Monty Python in the forest with the Knights of Ni, with the wonky music and everything. Ugh.

Seriously, I'm gonna get that coffee though.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:21 am UTC

Midnight wrote:The whole movie was like the scene in Monty Python in the forest with the Knights of Ni, with the wonky music and everything.
You do realize that statements like that are a brilliant way to sell the movie to the uninitiated, right?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Rodion Raskolnikov » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:19 pm UTC

Face-off has got to be up there. Nicolas Cage can be fantastic, but why he continually seems to choose such dreadful films never ceses to amaze me. Its like he remembers something evil he did in a past life and now he feels he has to punish himself.
But the one film that can beat that is Broken Arrow. Jesus H Christ. When I first watched it with my sister, we had never heard of it. We laughed through the first half of the movie, as we assumed it was a spoof of stupid action films. Then we realised it was just a stupid action film, and a [i]really[i] bad one at that. Then we laughed some more.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby wokattack » Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:32 pm UTC

The Idiots by Danish instructor Lars von Trier - I figured out who the idiots were, exactly eight minutes after the film started - they were me and all the other people who had paid money to see the film....
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby |Erasmus| » Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:43 am UTC

Not sure if it's been mentioned, bur Hercules Returns is pretty hilariously bad. Probably even worse for you Americans if you're not used to bogan australian accents. Plus it's like getting to watch two movies at once.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby folkhero » Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:49 am UTC

Face-Off may be the greatest bad movie ever made. Everyone is just so hammy, especially Cage, that it's hard to not have fun watching. Cage can beat out anyone, including Shatner, when it comes to chewing up scenery.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby ParanoidAndroid » Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:32 am UTC

As much as I like Ricky Gervais, The Invention of Lying was one of the most heavy-handed, unfunny movies I have ever seen.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby coreytl » Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:02 am UTC

I have seen a lot of bad movies I guess, Mega shark vs crocosaurus, was partricularly crap. But in a good way almost :D It's so bad it's actually entertaining :D
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby GhostWolfe » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:49 pm UTC

I think I tried two or three times to post that here, but I couldn't get the wording the way I wanted it.

The idea that being some how compelled to tell the truth removes you discretion to not speak at all does not make sense. It's not funny, and it bugs me.

Aside from that, I found the story to be rather... whiny?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Aleril » Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:47 pm UTC

I just watched Country Strong a few days ago and I had to walk out of the theatre twice because it was so excruciatingly bad. The hammy acting, the god-awful dialog, the annoying songs and the sudden ending all formed to create a Country Bomb pretty bad movie.

It's far from the worst film, but it's up there, at least for this year.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Idhan » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:07 pm UTC

GhostWolfe wrote:The idea that being some how compelled to tell the truth removes you discretion to not speak at all does not make sense.


To be fair, if "tell the truth when you talk, but you have discretion to not speak at all" is your standard for honesty, then that allows some pretty deceptive stuff virtually tantamount to lying. I think the Catholics have some pretty extensive thought about that subject.

Although perhaps there could be some more fine-tuned rules which allow for silence without selective omission.
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