## Favorite math jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

Moderators: gmalivuk, Moderators General, Prelates

### Re: Favorite math jokes

letterX wrote:
Yakk wrote:Did you intend to make a roman-numeral Christ pun? Because you did.

... I hesitate to ask, but... I did?

XX days before Xmas.
skullturf

Posts: 510
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Delaware

### Re: Favorite math jokes

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a group that re-told the joke in original, binary format, just in case we'd forgotten?

Yeh I can see that working, who's up for going carolling after lectures?

In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.

Talith
Proved the Goldbach Conjecture

Posts: 844
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:28 am UTC
Location: Manchester - UK

### Re: Favorite math jokes

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a textbook on number theory.

(it rhymes and is the right number of syllables at least)

Next.

I put up my thumb ... and my thumb blotted out ... Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small." Neil Armstrong 1930-2012

SlyReaper
inflatable

Posts: 7350
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:09 pm UTC
Location: Bristol, Old Blighty

### Re: Favorite math jokes

The ω days of Christmas?
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.

phlip
Restorer of Worlds

Posts: 6731
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:56 am UTC
Location: Australia

### Re: Favorite math jokes

SlyReaper wrote:On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a textbook on number theory.

I am so going to steal this.
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel

Monika

Posts: 3115
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg

### Re: Favorite math jokes

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
• two calculators
• and a textbook on number theory.
Kewangji wrote:Someone told me I need to stop being so arrogant. Like I'd care about their plebeian opinions.

blag

nehpest

Posts: 520
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 9:25 pm UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
12 ODEs
11 Chiral knots
10 Marsenne primes
9 Vector fields
8 Eigenvectors
7 Spirolaterals
6 Tensors tensing
5 Golden ratios
4 Peano curves
3 French Metro metrics
2 Riemann spheres
And a textbook on number theory.

I put up my thumb ... and my thumb blotted out ... Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small." Neil Armstrong 1930-2012

SlyReaper
inflatable

Posts: 7350
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:09 pm UTC
Location: Bristol, Old Blighty

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:
f(n) = itemn * n + f(n - 1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0

http://internetometer.com/give/4279
No one can agree how to count how many types of people there are. You could ask two people and get 10 different answers.

TheChewanater

Posts: 1260
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:24 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

TheChewanater wrote:
Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:
f(n) = itemn * n + f(n - 1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0

That doesn't rhyme.
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel

Monika

Posts: 3115
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg

### Re: Favorite math jokes

TheChewanater wrote:
Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:
f(n) = itemn * n + f(n - 1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0

See, without a general formula form itemn, this isn't really helpful.

Eebster the Great

Posts: 1271
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Heisenberg's wife: "I can't find my keys!"
Heisenberg: "You must know too much about their momentum."
Blue, blue, blue

undecim

Posts: 286
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:09 pm UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often. And X is the roman numeral for 10.

As a poor reflection on me, I found that wordplay funny.

On the first day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
1
On the second day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
2->2
On the third day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
3->3->3
On the forth day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
4->4->4->4
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Yakk

Posts: 10038
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC
Location: E pur si muove

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Yakk wrote:Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often.

Huh. Well I guess I'll file that under 'more random facts involving the Letter X.'
letterX

Posts: 490
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:00 am UTC
Location: Ithaca, NY

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Yakk wrote:Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often. And X is the roman numeral for 10.

As a poor reflection on me, I found that wordplay funny.

On the first day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
1
On the second day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
2->2
On the third day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
3->3->3
On the forth day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
4->4->4->4

3→3→3 is already 76255974849873 = \underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.

Eebster the Great

Posts: 1271
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Eebster the Great wrote:
MidsizeBlowfish wrote:Best dirty math joke ever:

What's the square root of sixty-nine?

Eight someting.

Meh

I know this is from ages ago, but I couldn't help pointing out that there's a new Rihanna song with these lyrics:

Rihanna ft Drake wrote:I heard you good with them soft lips
Yeah you know word of mouth
the square root of 69 is 8 something
cuz I’ve been tryna work it out, oooow

Meh.

martin878

Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:47 pm UTC
Location: Oxford, UK

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Rihanna's songwriter reads the xkcd forum
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel

Monika

Posts: 3115
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Eebster the Great wrote:3→3→3 is already 76255974849873 = \underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.

Bah, that isn't that big in log* scales.

Not log, log*. log* is the number of times you have to recursively call log for the value to fall below 0. There was a reasonably funny case where they had an algorithm that seemed to behave linearly with regards to size of input, but nobody could prove it -- eventually, someone proved it was O(n log*n)...

I laughed out loud when I ran into that anecdote in Papadimitriou. So that's my joke contribution for this post.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Yakk

Posts: 10038
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC
Location: E pur si muove

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Yakk wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:3→3→3 is already 76255974849873 = \underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.

Bah, that isn't that big in log* scales.

Not log, log*. log* is the number of times you have to recursively call log for the value to fall below 0. There was a reasonably funny case where they had an algorithm that seemed to behave linearly with regards to size of input, but nobody could prove it -- eventually, someone proved it was O(n log*n)...

I laughed out loud when I ran into that anecdote in Papadimitriou. So that's my joke contribution for this post.

Its trinary super-logarithm is still over seven trillion, so I would indeed consider it large on that scale. But at least 7625597484987 can be fully written out, I guess.

Eebster the Great

Posts: 1271
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Off topic much?

martin878

Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:47 pm UTC
Location: Oxford, UK

### Re: Favorite math jokes

No.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Yakk

Posts: 10038
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC
Location: E pur si muove

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Lol^

t1mm01994

Posts: 293
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2010 7:16 pm UTC
Location: San Francisco.. Wait up, I'll tell you some tales!

### Re: Favorite math jokes

I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.

Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.

Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
hnooch

Posts: 121
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:55 pm UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.

Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.

Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.

Good one. In some sense that proof does seem valid.

Though it does beg the question . . . a lot.

Eebster the Great

Posts: 1271
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

The best part is that Fermat's Last Theorem is not powerful enough to prove that \sqrt{2} is irrational.
++$_ Mo' Money Posts: 2370 Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:06 am UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes Q: Who was the fattest knight at the Round Table? A: Sir Cumference Q: What was his favorite food? A: Pie! I deserve punishment for puns that bad You can refuse to think, but you can't refuse the consequences of not thinking. thorgold Posts: 280 Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 4:36 am UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes I like it. Why do English-speaking people always apologize for puns? #xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel Monika Posts: 3115 Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC Location: Germany, near Heidelberg ### Re: Favorite math jokes Monika wrote:Why do English-speaking people always apologize for puns? I think it's because they're not really funny, just annoyingly clever. And some people have to apologize because they overuse them. Eebster the Great Posts: 1271 Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes A riff on it: Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3. Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. The remainder of this proof is too long to be written in this margin. One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total. Yakk Posts: 10038 Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC Location: E pur si muove ### Re: Favorite math jokes Hopefully not a repost: The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply." A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply." http://aselliedraws.tumblr.com/ - surreal sketches and characters. Eastwinn Posts: 304 Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:36 am UTC Location: Maryland ### Re: Favorite math jokes Aaaw, this is cute #xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel Monika Posts: 3115 Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC Location: Germany, near Heidelberg ### Re: Favorite math jokes Why was six afraid of seven?...Because seven "eight" nine! Why was seven afraid of eight?...Mathematical induction. Oh. You already heard that one... cyanyoshi Posts: 47 Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous. Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3. Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational. Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem? BlackSails Posts: 5128 Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:48 am UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem? So you doubt that Fermat had a proof? The cake is a pie. Mindworm Posts: 88 Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:06 pm UTC Location: The dark place where the counterexamples live. ### Re: Favorite math jokes Eebster the Great wrote: hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous. Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3. Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational. Good one. In some sense that proof does seem valid. Though it does beg the question . . . a lot. I don't see how this begs the question. Fermat's Last Theorem has been proven, and I see no invalid algebraic steps in this proof. You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming. suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky. joshz Posts: 1466 Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC Location: Pittsburgh, PA ### Re: Favorite math jokes I don't see how this begs the question. Fermat's Last Theorem has been proven, and I see no invalid algebraic steps in this proof. One would need to find out whether the statement he proved is used somewhere in the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. I'm no expert on this (or on any math, at this point), but I heard that Wiles used many results of higher math (things that have only been proven recently), and you would have to check every single one of them for this trivial lemma. The cake is a pie. Mindworm Posts: 88 Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:06 pm UTC Location: The dark place where the counterexamples live. ### Re: Favorite math jokes Ah, OK. That makes sense. You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming. suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky. joshz Posts: 1466 Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC Location: Pittsburgh, PA ### Re: Favorite math jokes Mindworm wrote: Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem? So you doubt that Fermat had a proof? Ehm, yes. I doubt so very much. Fermat may have been brilliant, but he is nothing compared to 4 centuries of exhaustive research by hundreds of thousands of mathematicians. If we still haven't found his proof, he didn't have one. And the proof Wiles gave couldn't possible have been the one Fermat had. It's Wiles' Theorem. It's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist - Bernard Woolley in Yes, Prime Minister Diadem Posts: 4052 Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:03 am UTC Location: The Netherlands ### Re: Favorite math jokes For the final question on an oral exam, a student was asked to find the limit to infinity of the following sequence: I know, I know that you know, I know that you know that I know, I know that you know that I know that you know, ... Dazzled, all the student could come up with was, "I don't know." The professor, equally baffled, replied, "Seriously? Come on. It's common knowledge!" Kirby Posts: 199 Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:08 pm UTC ### Re: Favorite math jokes BlackSails wrote: hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous. Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3. Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that pn / qn = 2, and hence pn = qn + qn. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational. Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem? I'm glad that I'm not the only person who thinks this. B.Good Posts: 272 Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:34 pm UTC Location: Maryland ### Re: Favorite math jokes Why should it be called "Wiles's Theorem"? If you ask me, it should be called Serre's Theorem. After all, Serre didn't prove it OR formulate it, which makes him an appropriate person to name it after. Alternatively, we could call it "Gauss's Theorem," because someday we are going to find out that Gauss proved it at age 10. ++$_
Mo' Money

Posts: 2370
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:06 am UTC

PreviousNext