MJ's Fat-assery

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Boxing, MMA, freestyle. Nothing too organized. As it is, I'm trying to get back in shape so I can rejoin my old dojo, but I live at the far eastern barely-incorporated part of town, and the dojo is at the far western last-block-before-the-airport part of town, so even then, it's a serious stretch.

[Nath]

I train with a guy of a similar build to you in judo/sambo (basically freestyle with jackets and submissions). He swears by the Tabata method. I think he mostly does body weight squats; maybe also sprints. He seems to be in pretty good shape despite his size.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Kyrose, my buddy from my oft-mentioned NerdFitness forum (and real life pal) also swears by Tabata, burpees, and everything Pavel Tsalouline ever said, which I mostly agree with. Someday, when my kids don't require 25 hours of attention each per day, and I don't live 35 minutes from my dojo (or at least when 35 minutes isn't out of line), I'll be able to get back into regular stuff.

[ZOhmMahGod]

Hi MJ;

I've been exercising for about a year now. It began with a weight lifting class at a local junior college which lasted about an hour at two days a week. As of this semester, I'm taking two classes, one in aerobics and weight lifting afterwards. All told, I'm now excersizing about three days a week, two hours a day. I plan to add more.
I was once like yourself. Eating is a comfort. We're all the sum of our experiences, and somewhere along the line it because comforting to eat large volumes of food. I would eat out of boredom and not necessity. Plus, I wouldn't plan any of my meals throughout the day, which lead to binge meals and poor choices.

At first, I looked at the economy of my diet. I figured that when not packing a lunch, or carrying snacks around with me, daily expenditures would total over $20! I'm a college student and live by myself, and this became intolerable. So, I started buying my own lunches at the store and making them before school. Even if you're a working class stiff or whatever you may be, making your own lunch is a big deal. I also make sure to have a big breakfast EVERYDAY! Yesterday, I had pancakes, sausage and eggs, glass of milk and orange juice. With a good deal of carbohydrates and , sugar, vitamins, and protein, I can work hard in the morning when it counts most. I don't care what anyone says about breakfast, I make it big and filling. This way I have a healthy dose of energy in the morning that lasts until about 12 to 1. Then I hit the packed lunch. And I'm not eating salads. I eat sandwiches which consist of meat and bread, unsalted peanuts, a piece of cheese, granola bar (nature valley), and maybe a cup of coffee or water. I usually am hungry again by about 3 or 4. So, I eat a duplicate of the previous meal and have a light dinner if any.

Now, a few pieces of cautious advice. No one is perfect. Even the gonzo health nut has a doughnut every once in a while. Hell, I had one about 4 days ago. It was wonderful, too .

Loss is going to be slow. It isn't anything like television where a magic pill or some drink is going to wick away the weight. I've been losing perhaps 2-6 pounds a month. You have to exercise at least two to three times a week, and you have to make it count. Work up a sweat. Lift some weight. But know your exercises. Don't just jump in with a custom plan. You need a dedicated work-out plan that gives you total-body conditioning and core strength training. By core, I mean your mid-section. Ask a local health professional or a gym teacher. Heck, even google. Just remember core and total body.

I weighed 270 pounds about a year and a half ago. I'm now down to about 220 and it keeps coming off. Once your body adjusts to a new metabolism and exercise routine, the weight loss and muscle building starts happening faster than before. The real trick is consistency. If you stick to a work out routine of good aerobics and weight training, and yes some pilates (it works!) you will lose weight and feel better about yourself. Just tell yourself to do it and commit, commit, commit. My latest gym teacher said it best, "With a little bit of discomforture, you can achieve results." Don't be afraid of the soreness and stiffness or the sweat and smell. Enjoy it! Nothing feels better than a nice hot sweat and a burning work out. Another friend of mine said, "You have to pull the joy out of the weight machine."

Don't let any voice in your head tell you you're not good enough or to give up and quit. Just do. Do. Do. DO. And enjoy yourself!

This was my first post!

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Some first post! (Also, you never came back... sorry, I forgot this thread even existed!)

I am shifting this thread over to a new one, since this one is long-winded and annoying, and I have a new short-term goal.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

The other thread (and the reason for it) never happened, so... moving on!

Down to 291 lbs at the moment, which is very nearly 40 lbs from where I started, which was basically last August. 40 lbs in 18 months, so 0.51lbs per week... slow, but not that bad, I have to say! I've also gotten considerably stronger in that time, and drastically improved my diet, so these are all changes that will make further weight loss easier.

Number Of People That Have Said I Look Skinnier This Week: Two!

[Nath]

Great job! In eleven years, you will be weightless.

[u38cg]

And by the miracle of extrapolation, in twelve years time you will be able to float! Enjoy lugging a lead weight around to stop you being blown away in a light breeze :p

[Mighty Jalapeno]

I am below 290!

[Solt]

Congratulations MJ!

Every time I visit the xkcd forums (which is not often these days) I eventually find myself in the Fit Club wondering how your progress has been. I'm glad to finally see an update and glad that it's going so well!

I hope more pictures and details will come eventually!

[Veora]

Hey MJ, i actually created an account just to say i think your whole thread is really inspirational reading through it all, reading all the trials and tribulations of it, watching you have down days but ultimately how much good it seems to be doing for you and your personality

Just a little bit about me, i'm actually across that giant thing of blue in merry ol' england. Coming out of a bad relationship breakup has left me feeling abit broken its probably the main motive (besides your thread) for me to change my diet and lifestyle, i want to have some self-confidence for once! So i was wondering, Do you have any tips.. anything would be greatly appreciated


Oh and we need an update! hope ti goes well.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

WHO'S TOUCHING MY THREAD?!?!?!

...

I mean, hi!

Ok, the update: not much weight change (I hope) since the last one. There's been a LOT of problems with not getting paid, losing my job, finding it again, missing mortgage payments, family illnesses, not getting paid again... all great excuses to stop working out and start eating lots and lots of comforting carbohydrates to keep my head from exploding.

I haven't weighed myself since early April, and I'm terrified since I know my diet has been absolutely shit. I've actually been Back On 100% Diet for about nine days now, and I'm giving it a few more to clear some of the chaff out and get off the plateau before I weigh myself so it's not too devastating to my self esteem.

Also, I'm really, really wierded out that you made a profile... for my thread. Seriously. Complimented, but wierded out.

Hints: Eat ~400 calorie meals every 3 hours (tapering is good, too, so 500 in the morning, 300 in the evening). High protein, low saturated fat, but even so, a 40/30/30 carbs/protein/fat caloric ratio is fine if you're sticking to the small meals every 3 hours rule. Your body DOES need fat, just not a lot (and that's CALORIES, not grams... protein and carbs are 4 calories per gram, fat is 9, so keep that in mind). Tinned fish is good, and I hear the UK has a good supply of that. Also, salads, and you can realistically eat limitless amounts of fibrous fruits and vegetables (apples and carrots) since they're so filling and and high in fibre that it's very difficult to gain weight from either of those foods. Also, muscle-mass-building exercises, since although cardio is important, muscle mass burns more calories at rest. A mixture of cardio and strength-building is crucial. Walking / jogging / running at least 20 minutes per day (twice, if you can) without rest to keep your heart rate up, and every hour or so do ten pushups and ten squats (or 2/3 of your maximum is a good rule of thumb). That way you can rack up more than a hundred of each without ever exhausting yourself.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Long story short:

Lost my job, went broke, stopped exercising, ate like crap.

Got better job, moved to better town, back on schedule, lost 3 lbs.

[The Mighty Thesaurus]

And now your reign of terror begins?

[Mighty Jalapeno]

You can try to run away, but you'll only BURN CALORIES!

[Mighty Jalapeno]

I've discovered something very odd about our new house that directly relates to my weight and bad habits:

It's an open floorplan, so from anywhere on the main floor you can see anywhere on the main floor, and a substantial portion of the second floor. I never realized it until yesterday (only been there for ten days) but since the kitchen is open, I will open a cupboard, see food, and think "Nah, I better not start snacking, people can see me".

o.O

I'm a little disturbed that I would only snack before when no-one was looking.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Four months? Seriously? My last post was four months ago? Jeez.

Ok! Starting the new year at

Spoiler:

292 GOD-DAMN POUNDS

and hopefully off to a good start. the previous year was a little rough (massive pay cuts, losing my job, selling the house, moving several months before my family did to a NEW town and a NEW job at severely reduced pay, stress and... yeah, stress) so last year my net weight loss was... three pounds. I had lost a total of 12 lbs at my lowest, but gained 9 of those back over the fall/winter. Grrr.

GRRRRRRRRRR!

NEW YEAR, IMMA FUCK YOU UP!

Spoiler:

[Mighty Jalapeno]

I should make some sort of auto-link doohickey so that when I open my browser, it opens three tabs instead of one, and one of them is here so I can keep myself motivated. Anyone know how to open multiple tabs at once? Anyone? Bueller? Crap.

On-diet very successfully for the week so far. I am still eating too much at dinner, but the 'too much' has so far been mostly lean roast, organic eggs, local potatoes, and other fairly healthy-ish things. I eat my bran flakes for breakfast, two apples at coffee breaks, home-made soup for lunch (this week: French-onion-garlic-jalapeno-turkey-chipotle-lentil-rice soup) and a (large but) healthy dinner. Still not EXERCISING much, since I'm just so tired still (going to bed late simply because I can't go to bed until the kids are asleep and my chores are done, and I have to get up at 6am just to be at work on time) but the food habits are returning. I am guilty this week of: one small bowl of Chapman's ice cream, a handful of Skor Bites, and one spoonful of hot chocolate powder in my coffee. I really need to stop the hot chocolate powder again, since it's at work and it's FREE, but everything else was just a one-off at home.

Also, does anyone know how many calories are in alcoholic cider? There's no labels on the bottle. It's not very sweet, but I still don't want booze messing up my diet.

I'm down four pounds, and I want to be down two more by this Saturday, before I level off to a much slower and hopefully more sustainable weight loss for the rest of the year. Getting my bike fixed on Saturday so when the snow eventually goes away I'll have a good way to get to work again, and I'm trying to wake up earlier in the mornings just to go for a job. I'm not co-ordinated or energetic enough to full-on WORK OUT, but a jog would do wonders to get my metabolism going and wake me up (especially in this weather!)

[thicknavyrain]

I'm down four pounds, and I want to be down two more by this Saturday, before I level off to a much slower and hopefully more sustainable weight loss for the rest of the year. Getting my bike fixed on Saturday so when the snow eventually goes away I'll have a good way to get to work again, and I'm trying to wake up earlier in the mornings just to go for a job. I'm not co-ordinated or energetic enough to full-on WORK OUT, but a jog would do wonders to get my metabolism going and wake me up (especially in this weather!)

I wish I still had my bike*, it got stolen and it was my only other fun alternative to jogging. There isn't any convenient swimming pool near me so it's either that or hop a few miles and see what good that does me. Also, by job I assume you mean jog and I totally sympathise with you, except that when I try to get up early for a run I look at my clock and say "7:30? Nah, I can sleep until 9:30, I'll jog in the afternoon" and then it all goes pearshaped...like my torso. Anyway, good luck! YOU CAN DO IT! Although you get doublepoints for managing while having kids and a job and real adult things.

*I was given a spacehopper for my birthday recently but the cat at the host's house jumped on it and popped it

[Mighty Jalapeno]

If I wake up and see the clock saying 7:30, I think "Well, I'm fired... might as well sleep in..."

I want to set it for five, and find some way to motivate myself so that when it goes off, I HAVE to get up. I missed having the pool in the back yard (drained for the winter) since I would just hop in that (it was heated! AW YEAH!) and swim for an hour in the mornings. That was bad-ass. When we have to move again in May, it's gonna suck to leave the pool behind.

All the other parents I know are skinny, so I dunno what I'm doing wrong

[Nath]

I should make some sort of auto-link doohickey so that when I open my browser, it opens three tabs instead of one, and one of them is here so I can keep myself motivated. Anyone know how to open multiple tabs at once? Anyone? Bueller? Crap.

Most browsers can do this. For example, in Firefox, you can enter multiple home pages separated by the '|' character, and they'll open up in multiple tabs when you open your browser.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

o.O

...

*type type type*

...

SWEET!

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Spoiler:

285

Bitches!

[thicknavyrain]

How the hell did you lose a pound a day?

[Mighty Jalapeno]

15 days, 7 lbs. Also, that always happens when I fast-gain (Christmas) and then go on my low-food diet again (don't worry, I am eating more than enough, it's just that I am still eating way less than I used to). It usually levels out right around the two-week mark, so I'll probably only lose a pound this week.

Breakfast: Coffee, bowl of Bran Flakes or Steel-Cut Oats or something.
Break: Apple, coffee.
Lunch: Vegetable soup / various leftovers, and if it's a bad day... coffee
Break: Apple, water
Dinner: Usually fresh vegetables, organic meat, side dish... we eat big, but healthy dinners.
Snack: I try for popcorn or yogurt, but there's usually something tiny and bad for me in there.

That said, it's a lot less food VOLUME than I am accustomed to, so there's some sudden weight loss as my body compensates.

[thicknavyrain]

Ah, I assumed the day you posted the weight was the day you measured it, but still that's damn impressive.

[Solt]

I want to set it for five, and find some way to motivate myself so that when it goes off, I HAVE to get up.

I use my phone as my alarm and place it on the other side of the room (where the charger is as well). If I want the ringing to stop, I have no choice but to get out of bed and walk over there.

Sometimes I walk back to bed and fall asleep anyway, but on average it's a lot better than being able to hit "snooze" without even having to open your eyes. Usually by the time I'm out of bed I'll have the discipline to not go back.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

see, I could do that in my old room, but in this one, THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD-DAMN OUTLET NOT IN USE, so the farthest I can move it is still reachable from bed. I'm thinking of putting it in the closet or something. Also, my cel phone is a piece of shit with a six-hour battery life.

[Solt]

see, I could do that in my old room, but in this one, THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD-DAMN OUTLET NOT IN USE, so the farthest I can move it is still reachable from bed. I'm thinking of putting it in the closet or something. Also, my cel phone is a piece of shit with a six-hour battery life.

Good excuse to buy a new one?

Or, get a longer cable. I have the same problem. I keep my phone on the dresser, and the closest outlet is used by a lamp and a fan, so I have a loooong USB cable going to the next outlet. Kind of annoying but better than sleeping in.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Anywhere I run a cable will 100% get tripped over, since it either has to go by the closet door on one side or the bedroom door on the other. Good try, though I am going to put it on the floor behind my dresser.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Yup, that worked! Put my alarm clock BEHIND the dresser. Granted, I listened to two songs, but then I had to get out of bed because Machine Head came on, and my family can't sleep through THAT. Got up, did my WiiFit Yoga, had a bowl of All Bran and a coffee. Yay me!

[Felstaff]

Congratulations.

I'll break out the all-caps dancing C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S .gif text once you manage to do that, every day, for six months.

It's important to look at the Wii Fit board each morning, and say "all right, board, today I'm going to yoga the fuck out of you. I will be Yoga Bear, and you'll be my goddamned picker-nicker basket."

[Mighty Jalapeno]

I can't tell if you're being inspirational or a douche.

...

I'll go with inspirational. I know one day isn't impressive, and in the grand scheme of things means nothing, but I've been actively avoiding working out in the mornings for almost a month and a half now. This is a big step.

180 steps to go.

[Felstaff]

As in, you have my congratulations now, but a bigger, more sparkly congratulations will be in order if you manage to make it become a regular, regimented thing, and you stick to it. It's a step I'd probably never reach, hence the orders-of-magnitude congratulations signs I'm currently thegoogling. (for when Verdana font size 10 just can't cut it).

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Heh, I know I'm just used to the more real-life response of "And? Whoopee-fucking-doo, MJ."

I constantly seek praise and congratulations, and yet I rarely do the work to get them. Doing things 'for myself', like working out and eating healthy and writing my stories and playing bass rarely works to keep me motivated, since I don't care about myself. Trying to fix that.

...

With Nintendo games.

[BomanTheBear]

I would just like to say, I love the title to this thread. Good luck, man, I'm sending you my best vibes.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Donkeyshane. Still working out a little in the mornings, but GAH it takes me a while to loosen up / warm up / not be a giant ball of cramps.

[BomanTheBear]

not be a giant ball of cramps.

In my experience, this never goes away. In high school, I ran and lifted nearly every day, and played rugby three days a week, and the soreness just does what it wants to. What I've realized, however, is that you can totally tell the difference between productive soreness and bad soreness after a while. Have you tried jogging REALLY SLOWLY as a warmup? My girlfriend runs half-marathons on a regular basis (full disclosure: I have not and never will run one), but to warm up and cool down, she jogs for 10 minutes on the treadmill at 4 mph. I've found that to work really well, and it's a solid amount of extra calories burned for, like, no effort at all. Especially if you read during it.

EDIT: Your profile says you're a CAD monkey. As in AutoCAD?

[Mighty Jalapeno]

It's "OH MY GOD IT'S 5:20 IN THE MORNING WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME MOVE!?!?!" soreness, not exertion soreness. I LIKE exertion soreness In the mornings, it's the kind that makes it actually physically impossible to do some basic yoga poses or balance exercises.

Formerly AutoCAD, and now cadwork 3d.

[broken_escalator]

I found that a nice warm bath or a dip in a hot tub really helps the exertion soreness. Plus it feels really good to workout, get achy, and then go get nice a warm.

People tell me that once you get into the routine "your body will look forward to the workout" or some such. I have yet to ever receive this effect so ymmv.