Take a penny leave a penny.

[pizzazz]

I place a de-pinned nuclear grenade on the pile.

There is now a crater and some charred earth in the radiated pile.

[Platypodes]

Boy, am I glad I got off that pile.

As a half-zombie, I've qualified for a high-level government job. I send a team to evaluate the situation.

There is now a crater, some charred earth, 63 government employees, & 1 ton of paperwork in the irradiated pile

[cjdrum]

I leave an automatic Everything Eraser on the pile.

There isn't anything where the pile was, or anywhere near it.

[KrO2]

I leave SCP 682 in the pile and run.

There is now one indestructible lizard monster in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I destroy the lizard monster. And leave a penny, and a mysterious beverage.

There is now a penny and a mysterious beverage in the pile.

[Thesh]

I drink the mysterious beverage, and immediately turn into 33,550 pennies.

There are now 33,551 pennies in the pile

[cjdrum]

I convert to dollar notes, then to D&D, again.

There are 335 and a half waterproof pieces of paper on the pile.

[Thesh]

I take the money, buy back my BB gun, and put it in the pile.

The pile now contains the mystical BB gun of Gazpacho, which was forged from the iron of Brazil, stamped with the logo of Daisy, furnished with the wood of Canada, lost in the great apartment move of 1974, found again in 1975, accidentally thrown away in 1993, found at the city dump shortly after, cleaned up by a hobbyist living in Maine, sold on ebay in 2007 for $20, and stolen from a car on January 31st 2011.

[cjdrum]

I melt the barrel of the gun into more pennies, burning anything wooden.

The pile now contains many pennies made from the mystical BB gun of Gazpacho, which was forged from the iron of Brazil, stamped with the logo of Daisy, furnished with the wood of Canada, lost in the great apartment move of 1974, found again in 1975, accidentally thrown away in 1993, found at the city dump shortly after, cleaned up by a hobbyist living in Maine, sold on ebay in 2007 for $20, and stolen from a car on January 31st 2011.

[CydTheSloth?]

Go more_people!

I reanimate the dead half of CydTheSloth?, turning him into a half-zombie: Full benefits of being a human, yet I control them.

There are now 2 kidnapper assassins and a half-zombie on the pile.

Whoa whoa whoa who ever said i was a guy???
CYDNEY is a GIRLS name.

With the bb gun I ALREADY stole I shoot cjdrum for calling me a guy.

There is now one dead cjdrum and a mystical bb gun in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I re-animate myself, then... Wait a second. Why is it me that keeps dying? Anyway. I re-animate myself, then steal the BB gun and shoot myself many times, just for the fun of it.

There is now a cjdrum zombie and a few dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

And I am genuinely sorry for the gender confusion. But thanks for the zombification!

[CydTheSloth?]

I thank you for your apology and give you one brain. Then I run away.

There is now a cjdrum zombie, a half eaten brain, and a few dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I half re-animate the brain. Just for the fun of it.

There is now a cjdrum zombie, a half-zombie half-eaten brain, and a few dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

[CydTheSloth?]

I multiply every thing by two.

There are now two cjdrum zombies, a zombie brain, and like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I multiply by one.

There is now 1(cjdrum zombies, a zombie brain, and like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds) in the pile.

[Platypodes]

Braaaaaaaaiiiiins!

Being a half-zombie bureaucrat, I eat half the brain. I write a 10-page report & file it on the pile.

There are now 2 cjdrum zombies, half a zombie brain, a 10-page report, & like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

[pizzazz]

I put c pennies on the pile, where |c|=-1.

There are now c pennies (|c|=-1), 2 cjdrum zombies, half a zombie brain, a 10-page report, & like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds in the pile.

BTW: "Sid" (pronounced as "Cyd" should be) is definitely a boy's name (at least around here), and I don't think I've ever seen "Cydney" spelled that way.

[cjdrum]

My mind bursts at the thought of an absolute value being equal to negative 1.

There are now c pennies (|c| = -1), 2 cjdrum zombies, a negative zombie half-brain, a 10-page report, and like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds on the pile.

[CydTheSloth?]

My mom tried to name me after Sydney, Australia, but she's crazy.

Anyway, I bring out my Zombie paper shredder and shred the paper.

There are now c pennies (|c| = -1), 2 cjdrum zombies, a negative zombie half-brain, a zombie shredded 10-page report, and like 6 dozen empty BB gun rounds on the pile.

[cjdrum]

I remove some amount of ambiguity from the pile.

There are now 2 cjdrum zombies, a negative zombie half-brain, a zombie shredded 10-page report, and exactly 72 empty BB gun rounds on the pile.

[CydTheSloth?]

I place some ambiguity by taking out the oxford comma.

There are now 2 cjdrum zombies, a negative zombie half-brain, a zombie shredded 10-page report and exactly 72 empty BB gun rounds on the pile.

[cjdrum]

I place even more ambiguity by using a simple cipher to re-write the sentence.
Uifsf bsf opx 3 dkesvn apncjft, b ofhbujwf apncjf ibmg-csbjo b apncjf tisfeefe 21-qbhf sfqpsu boe fybdumz 83 fnquz CC hvo spvoet po uif qjmf.

[Platypodes]

I take almost all the ambiguity, including the ambiguity about the amount of ambiguity.

There are now 2 cjdrum zombies, a negative zombie half-brain, a zombie shredded 10-page report, 72 empty BB gun rounds and 3.2 grams of ambiguity on the pile.

[cjdrum]

I remove all letters of the word 'ambiguity'.

here re now 2 cjdr zoes, neve zoe hlf-rn, zoe shredded 10-pe repor, 72 ep n ronds nd 3.2 rs of on he ple.

[Thesh]

I take everything from the pile and leave an elder sign.

There is now an elder sign in the pile

[cjdrum]

I restore originality to the pile.

There is now a penny in the pile.

[Scyrus]

I leave "g64" pennies in the pile.

There are now ????(...)?????2464195388 pennies in the pile.

[CorruptUser]

I take all the pennies and use them as parameters of the Ackermann function.

There pile is now located in a galaxy-wide black hole.

[Kromix]

i Leave an IOU for 5000 pennies

[WarDaft]

I take all the pennies and use them as parameters of the Ackermann function.

There pile is now located in a galaxy-wide black hole.

Actually that would produce a black hole vastly larger than the observable universe, if such things could even exist. Actually g₁ pennies would produce a black hole vastly larger than the observable universe too, and g₁ is tiny by comparison.

Indeed, in such an unimaginably large black hole, there should be entire areas much larger than the observable universe which are sufficiently far from the center of the black hole itself such that tidal forces are virtually undetectable yet still within the event horizon, indeed, we could be in such a situation now, and we could even say that this is how the thread really started!





I take the IOU.
I leave a penny.



There is now 1 penny in the pile.

[JBJ]

I leave 1 penny and 1 tachyon.

There are now two pennies in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I leave a mysterious beverage, because the pennies are boring.

There is now 1 mysterious beverage and two boring pennies in the pile.

[WarDaft]

I drop the two boring pennies into the mysterious beve-

FOOOMMMmmmm

There is now a discontinuity in local reality where the pile used to be.

[cjdrum]

I disagree with the logic of the previous statement. Only if the two pennies touched the liquid at the same instant would this occur. After all, I am the inventor of the mysterious beverage.

There is now a paradox in the discontinuity in local reality where the pile used to be.

[WarDaft]

I make a solemn vow to either restore the pile to normality, or leave it exactly alone, depending solely on the flip of a coin.

In 5 minutes, there may or may not be a paradoxical discontinuity in local reality where the pile used to be.

[doinkisaac]

I decide that the coin landed heads up, causing the pile to return to normality; and I leave a Quantum Eigenstate Device there, that will go to Earth Prime and destroy all the Earths if Batman doesn't stop it. (I love comic book based movie plots)

[CorruptUser]

I drink the mysterious beverage, but I have finally developed an immunity of sorts. Long story short, there are 372 foul-smelling pennies in the pile. Do not ask where they came from.

There are 372 smelly pennies and a Quantam Eigenstate Device in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I flip a coin into the pile (it lands on heads).

There are 372 smelly pennies, 2 coins showing "heads" and a Quantam Eigenstate Device in the pile.

[Phrozt]

I add a pony to the pile that eats all the pennies.

There are 372 smelly pennies in a pony and a Quantam Eigenstate Device in the pile.

[cjdrum]

I... Wait.

There is now a pony, 372 half-digested smelly coins and a Quantum Eigenstate Device on the pile.