Where is the Any key?

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Jorpho
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Where is the Any key?

Postby Jorpho » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:52 am UTC

This came up in a conversation this evening. What is the wittiest response you can think of to the question, "Where is the Any key?" It's such an old joke that I'm sure there must have been some devilishly crafty answers to it over the years.

The best thing I can think of right now is, "It's right next to the other key."

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Thesh
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Thesh » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:01 am UTC

Any key isn't actually a key, "Press any key" just means to press a key on your keyboard.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby mmark9094 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:14 am UTC

...oh whoops. I thought you meant these...
Spoiler:
Image

...keys.

That's about as anti-witty as it gets, as far as responses go.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby RebeccaRGB » Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:43 am UTC

'Any', or 'Ennie', is the pet form of 'Enter'.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:53 am UTC

You don't have one?

Image

Ask Helpdesk for a keyboard that isn't broken.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby _Axle_ » Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:55 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:You don't have one?

Image

Ask Helpdesk for a keyboard that isn't broken.


All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby TaintedDeity » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:02 am UTC

Thesh wrote:Any key isn't actually a key, "Press any key" just means to press a key on your keyboard.
It pays to read the first post, yo.
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Thesh
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Thesh » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:05 am UTC

TaintedDeity wrote:
Thesh wrote:Any key isn't actually a key, "Press any key" just means to press a key on your keyboard.
It pays to read the first post, yo.


I did.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby TaintedDeity » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:23 am UTC

Then you're guilty of being terribly dull :P
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Thesh » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:24 am UTC

TaintedDeity wrote:Then you're guilty of being terribly dull :P


Yes, I am.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby OBrien » Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:45 am UTC

Actually two keys: Press Alt and F4 at the same time.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby guyy » Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:46 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:You don't have one?

Image

Ask Helpdesk for a keyboard that isn't broken.


Alternatively, rip off the N, Y, S, and D keys, put the N key where the S was and the Y key where the D was--spelling "A-N-Y"--then hot-glue them together.

Don't do anything equivalent with a DVORAK keyboard, though, or Dvorak's ghost will appear and lecture you about how his keyboard is better than "any" other. Even if he's not dead yet.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Magnanimous » Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:59 am UTC

It's actually supposed to be Amy key, named in honor of Miss Winehouse. It's a common typo: the keys are like right next to each other.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby OBrien » Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:03 am UTC

Magnanimous wrote:It's actually supposed to be Amy key, named in honor of Miss Winehouse Amelia Pond. It's a common typo: the keys are like right next to each other.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Magnanimous » Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:06 am UTC

I was torn between the two Amys (Amies), and I chose poorly. =/

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Giant Speck » Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:53 am UTC

_Axle_ wrote:All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<

LEARNING, SHMEARNING. I CAPS LOCK WHEN I WANT! HATERS GONNA HATE.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Carnildo » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:15 am UTC

Jorpho wrote:This came up in a conversation this evening. What is the wittiest response you can think of to the question, "Where is the Any key?" It's such an old joke that I'm sure there must have been some devilishly crafty answers to it over the years.

The best thing I can think of right now is, "It's right next to the other key."

My computer has an "any" key. It sits right between the "power" and "HD activity" lights.

Spoiler:
When I was installing Windows on the computer, the installer reached a point where it said "Press any key to continue", and promptly froze. Since that was the only button that, when pressed, caused anything to happen, I figure that makes it the "any" key.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby teelo » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:32 am UTC

I had a prompt recently saying "Press any key to continue". I pressed Escape. Nothing happened. Apparently Warcraft 3 doesn't consider "Escape" to be "in the realm of any keys".

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby F117Landers » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:05 pm UTC

teelo wrote:I had a prompt recently saying "Press any key to continue". I pressed Escape. Nothing happened. Apparently Warcraft 3 doesn't consider "Escape" to be "in the realm of any keys".


That would mean that you indend to leave Warcraft... They want you in their world (of warcraft).


Lame, I know.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby You, sir, name? » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:44 pm UTC

I've always considered space to be the any key. It's blank and all.
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Kewangji » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:57 pm UTC

guyy wrote:
Don't do anything equivalent with a DVORAK keyboard, though, or Dvorak's ghost will appear and lecture you about how his keyboard is better than "any" other. Even if he's not dead yet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/August_Dvorak

Died in 75.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby RahulKolasseri » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:13 pm UTC

My Thought Process wrote:-working as a slave on Tatooine.
-The any key is woking as a slave on Tatooine? How is that even funny?
-Anykey
-Anakin
-*facepalm* *groan*
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Kewangji » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:23 pm UTC

RahulKolasseri wrote:
My Thought Process wrote:-working as a slave on Tatooine.
-The any key is woking as a slave on Tatooine? How is that even funny?
-Anykey
-Anakin
-*facepalm* *groan*

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby The Chemist » Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:46 pm UTC

:roll:

Clearly you're not using Linux.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby OBrien » Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:44 am UTC

My Thought Process wrote:-working as a slave on Tatooine.
-The any key is woking as a slave on Tatooine? How is that even funny?
-Anykey
-Anakin
-*facepalm* *groan*

In a similar vein of bad puns: In the UK, according to Johnny Rotten.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby poxic » Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:56 am UTC

"Where is the Any key?"

"There."

"Where are you pointing?"

"Doesn't matter."
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby tastelikecoke » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:28 am UTC

"Shimon, Where the hell do you think I am?!"

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby You, sir, name? » Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:23 am UTC

"Who are you and what are you doing with that microphone?"
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Charlemagne_ » Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:09 am UTC

_Axle_ wrote:All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<

They just need to leran to hold down the shift key, it's way classier.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby RebeccaRGB » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:16 am UTC

Charlemagne_ wrote:
_Axle_ wrote:All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<

They just need to leran to hold down the shift key, it's way classier.

YES< I AGREE< IT"S WAY CLASSIER THAT WAY>

It hurt my brain to type that.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby You, sir, name? » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:42 am UTC

Charlemagne_ wrote:
_Axle_ wrote:All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<

They just need to leran to hold down the shift key, it's way classier.


Writing upper-case sentences with shift is a pain if you're touch-typing. You can't just hold it down, you're supposed to press shift with the hand opposite to the one you're pressing the key with. Otherwise you'd have to break your hand to type say '!' or '}'
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Von Haus » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:37 pm UTC

I've just realised I never use the right hand shift key. My left little finger just operates the left-shift whatever character I'm typing...
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:45 pm UTC

*point at keyboard*
These are not the Any key.
*walk away*
*walk back*
The.. the any key is my involvement in the upcoming sexual harassment lawsuit you and I will be playing major roles in.
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby tastelikecoke » Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:59 pm UTC

You have to hold N key and E key at same time. I think that works sometimes.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby rigwarl » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:05 pm UTC

Thesh wrote:
TaintedDeity wrote:Then you're guilty of being terribly dull :P


Yes, I am.


Noooooooo, I find that response hilarious.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Charlemagne_ » Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:31 am UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:
Charlemagne_ wrote:
_Axle_ wrote:All keyboards are broken . . . they have a caps lock key. People need to earn the right to use it <_<

They just need to leran to hold down the shift key, it's way classier.


Writing upper-case sentences with shift is a pain if you're touch-typing. You can't just hold it down, you're supposed to press shift with the hand opposite to the one you're pressing the key with. Otherwise you'd have to break your hand to type say '!' or '}'

Really? I always use the left one.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby You, sir, name? » Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:41 pm UTC

Then you're probably using a bastardized form of touch-typing, where you have to leave home row to type shift-` and shift-1 with your ring finger instead of your little finger which normally has domain over those keys. Or you're some sort of weird finger-contortionist.

But I doubt it has any significant effects on typing speeds. After all, it's a fairly rare event in typing.
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Faithful » Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:28 pm UTC

I learned to use a Keyboard via video games. I do not type normally with the ten fingers or whatever it is considered these days.

I do type in a bastardized form that gives me around 90-100 wpm though using four fingers on my left hand and three on my right. *

Typing these sentences out I noticed my left index finger does press the ' y ' instead of my right index finger. I guess it has something to do with how I position my hand over the keyboard. Normally I hold it in the awsd position with pinky over the shift key (a la FPS games). When I know I am typing (a la work) I keep my wrist in that position and just shift my fingers over one key so they cover the asdf row.

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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby Yakk » Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:37 pm UTC

Yep, I use my left pinky pretty constantly when pressing shift, even when typing ! or the like. My pinky goes down, my hand goes up. My thumb, strangely, tracks along the space bar, which helps my hand return to the "home" position after I type the ~ key (together with the nipples on the f and j keys).

The ability for my pinky to bend 90 degrees, and the width of the shift key, makes pressing shift ! pretty easy without breaking my hand. I also find that the right shift is rather far away.

Then again, my fingers are double-jointed, so maybe that is why I don't have a problem with some chords that others have problems with?
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Re: Where is the Any key?

Postby You, sir, name? » Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:36 pm UTC

Unless you're using vim, you're probably using the mouse and arrow keys so much that any benefit from non-bastardized touch-typing is negligible.

I used to have some sort of ad-hoc typing method as well, but for whatever reason I decided to swap to proper touch-typing, which was relatively painless. An afternoon of typing The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog over and over again pretty much brought it up to the same speed I had when ad-hoc typing.
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.


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