Vending machine!

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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Max2009
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Max2009 » Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:57 am UTC

You get dysentery.

I put in a health food store.
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Ratiqu
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ratiqu » Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:39 pm UTC

You get a lifetime supply of bacon and tripled rates on health insurance.

I put in a slice of blueberry pie.
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Spots
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Spots » Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:51 pm UTC

You get a blueberry.

I put in a sunflower seed.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:34 pm UTC

You get a slice of sunflower seed pie.

I put in the word "umbrage".
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Thesh
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Thesh » Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:41 am UTC

You get the word "ornery."

I put in a pickup truck.
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Quate
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Quate » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:59 am UTC

You get a truck-up pick.

I put in SCP-914.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby eaglef2 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:43 am UTC

You get an alien eating your face.

I put in {subject home town here}.
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Ratiqu
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ratiqu » Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:52 pm UTC

You get a strong desire to commit suicide.

I put in a face-eating alien.
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Thesh
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Thesh » Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:55 pm UTC

You get a corpse, sans face.

I put in a half-empty bottle of really cheap vodka.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:20 pm UTC

You get a pan-galactic gargle blaster in a dixie cup.

I put in God.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

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turret
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby turret » Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:24 pm UTC

You get a dog. (Rather anticlimactic, isn't it?)


I put in $1.50 in regular quarters.
You see here what you want to see. It is rather weird that you would want to see something affirming your seeing what you want to see. You, my friend, are a weird person.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:08 pm UTC

turret wrote:You get a dog. (Rather anticlimactic, isn't it?)


I put in $1.50 in regular quarters.


Amazingly, you get a can of Coke.

I put in my wasted time.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Thesh » Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:13 pm UTC

You wait around for 3 hours for something to come out, and then leave.

I put in a tree.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Keand64
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Keand64 » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:31 am UTC

You get a queue.

I put in vanilla twilight.
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In the future, man will be required by law to enlarge his penis and use vicodin, and on occasion, donate $5000 to a Nigerian.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Gypped » Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:12 am UTC

You get a handful of glitter that never washes off.

I put in my weariness.

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Ratiqu
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ratiqu » Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:19 pm UTC

You get 5 kids. And their alcoholic mother.

I put in a staked, garlic'd vampire.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Keand64 » Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:01 am UTC

You get a fully rejuvenated vampire with a grudge.

I put in f(x).
CorruptUser wrote:That's how the robots will takeover. Sentient spambots.

In the future, man will be required by law to enlarge his penis and use vicodin, and on occasion, donate $5000 to a Nigerian.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Antimony-120 » Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:03 am UTC

You stand back and watch as out comes a series of sand tablets, pyprus rolls, sheepskin hide, pulped paper, ebooks, flash, and what looks like a very small cube that you don't even know how to interface with. Each describing the advancement of mathematics in turn, the equations moving from simple numbers and geometry onto algebra, calculus and topology, further and further, the equations going far beyond the math of numbers, becoming more and more complex until they suddenly start to simplify down to a single equation that ends in "solving is left as an excersize for the reader"

I put in Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby QuantumED » Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:51 am UTC

You somehow get a 'song' by Justin Bieber.

I put in a 'song' by Justin Bieber.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby seventeen » Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:57 am UTC

You get an ear-raping midget.
I put in a witness statement about said midget.

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Me321
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Me321 » Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:44 am UTC

You get five ounces of popcorn.

I put in a few dollars worth of chemicals.

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Spots
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Spots » Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:51 pm UTC

You get water.

I put in a 3.5'' floppy.
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snowyowl
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby snowyowl » Sun Nov 07, 2010 10:58 am UTC

You get 285 metres of magnetic tape.

I put in a broken clock.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby RedBandit » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:45 am UTC

You get Armageddon, but you glasses break. All the time in the world, but you can no longer read...

I put a dolphin into the vending machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:56 am UTC

You get a half-naked member of PETA angry that you stuffed that poor innocent dolphin into the vending machine.

I put in my soul.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

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Keand64
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Keand64 » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:19 am UTC

You get a fiddle.

I put in a canadian quarter.
CorruptUser wrote:That's how the robots will takeover. Sentient spambots.

In the future, man will be required by law to enlarge his penis and use vicodin, and on occasion, donate $5000 to a Nigerian.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Triangle_Man » Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:06 pm UTC

You get a quarter of Canada's national debt. We expect your first payment by the end of the month.

I put in a blank sheet of paper.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:My moral system allows me to bitch slap you for typing that.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby snowyowl » Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:33 am UTC

You get the entire Bible printed on one sheet of paper in 0.1-point font.

I put in a dizzying height.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Spots » Wed Nov 10, 2010 4:51 pm UTC

You get a high sense of dizziness.

I put in Lady Gaga.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Cytoplasm » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:53 pm UTC

You get this:
Spoiler:
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I put in a hamburger. With pickles.
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Spoiler:
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby The Scyphozoa » Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:10 am UTC

You get to give me my money back. I said, "No pickles."

I put in a hobo with a shotgun.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby cjdrum » Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:12 am UTC

You get a hobo without a shotgun.

I put in 6 quarters, then hope for a Sunkist.
:shock:

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby _infina_ » Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:44 am UTC

you get 3 pennies and a zombie bite.

I put in a tigress.
Spoiler:
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby cjdrum » Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:00 am UTC

You recieve half-tiger half-snow leopard babies. Three of them.

I place in 6 quarters again, and stand back.
:shock:

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Antimony-120 » Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:22 am UTC

You get a hand-and-a-half sword and a hat stand

I put in tuppence a bag of bird feed and an old lady singing
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby cjdrum » Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:36 am UTC

You get a hat stand, propelled from the vending machine like a javelin. I'm not sure how they got the hat stand in there...

I put in a spoonful of sugar, then put the spoon in my mouth, just in case.
:shock:

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby chaoztheory1 » Sun Feb 13, 2011 5:55 am UTC

You receive a cake! You happily take a bite out of it, only to realize that it's pure sugar.

I put in a broken mouse and keyboard.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby cjdrum » Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:13 am UTC

You receive a rat and a piano.

I place in a llama.
:shock:

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:33 am UTC

You get a load of mediocre artwork (and bonus points if you know why).

I put in Apache2's "magic" file.
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more_people
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby more_people » Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:08 am UTC

You receive a magic hat and a murder file.

I put in Diablo 3.


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