xkcd

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:21 pm UTC

This day gets worse and worse. Your subconcious is full of ~~raptors~~ Teletubbies. Worse still, the cute baby in the sun isn't there!

a) Ride the kick back up
b) Try and eradicate the Teletubbies

by **Kromix** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:30 pm UTC

b) Try and eradicate the Teletubbies

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:13 pm UTC

Choose your weapon:
1) A red herring
2) A USP .45
3) Piano wire

by **Kromix** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:16 pm UTC

1) A red herring (idiomatic expression) :lol:

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:33 pm UTC

You begin assaulting the teletubbies with a herring, a red one to be precise. Scores of the fat, TV-stomached bastards fall under your rampage. Unintelligible giggling is replaced by unintelligible screaming. The Knights who say Ni would be proud.

What now?
1) Clean up the bodies
2) Jazz hands!
3) Eat the herring

by **TheSweetKill** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:25 pm UTC

jazz hands

by **more_people** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:53 pm UTC

The teletubbies start dancing but they throw the red herring at you.

Do you:
a) do a triple backflip
c) catch the hering and throw it back
e) start dancing
g) have an idea

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:02 pm UTC

Your jazz hands are magic, and prompt the souls of great jazz singers to enter your dream.
1) Grab a (instrument) and start jammin'
2) Sing
3) Dance
4) More jazz hands

EDIT: Damnit, ninja'd!

Throw the herring back.

by **more_people** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:09 pm UTC

As you throw the hering back, you cut your hand and it quickly becomes infected. One of the teletubbies, the red one to be precise, dances over to you and says "I can fix that if you want:

What now?
z) Go to a hospital
y) Get the teletubbies help
x) Kill the teletubbies
w) Start dancing
v) Do nothing

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:20 pm UTC

Didn't we kill all the teletubbies?

X) Kill the teletubbies (again)

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:25 pm UTC

GRRR, lag makes doubleposta.

by **more_people** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:28 pm UTC

The teletubbies get angry at you and start zapping you with their antenana's. AS they zap you, you start seeing the movie 'Twilight' in your mind.

What do you do?
a) Sleep with Bella
e) Kill that vampire guy
i) Tame that werewolf guy
o) All of the above
u) Nothing

by **TheSweetKill** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:29 pm UTC

What weapon would you like to use to kill the teletubies:

A) AK-47
B) Light-Saber
C) Particle Cannon
D) Flamethrower
E) Wunder Waffle
F) AC-130
G) Orbital Nukclear Strike

by **thorgold** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:29 pm UTC

Y) Use the final vowel as an escape choice from a poorly written plot.

by **TheSweetKill** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:31 pm UTC

more_people wrote:The teletubbies get angry at you and start zapping you with their antenana's. AS they zap you, you start seeing the movie 'Twilight' in your mind.

What do you do?
a) Sleep with Bella
e) Kill that vampire guy
i) Tame that werewolf guy
o) All of the above
u) Nothing

ignore^

by **more_people** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:41 pm UTC

Once again your choices are:
a) Sleep with Bella
e) Kill that vampire guy
i) Tame that werewolf guy
o) All of the above
u) Nothing

by **TheSweetKill** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:47 pm UTC

t) incapacitate more_people

by **more_people** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:52 pm UTC

TheSweetKill wrote:t) incapacitate more_people

Not an option. Say it one more time and TheSweetKIll will not be aloud to post any more on this forum.

by **cjdrum** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:19 pm UTC

Rule update! Check out the OP.

by **TheSweetKill** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:19 pm UTC

more_people you are the one violating the rules

by **cjdrum** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:04 am UTC

TheSweetKill wrote:t) incapacitate more_people

After incapacitating more_people, you feel a strange sense of relief. However, you've only knocked him out. Where do you put him?

a) In a locked closet
b) Chain him to a chair
c) In a quadruply-locked bank vault
d) In a cryogenic freezing tank
e) Somewhere beginning with an 'M'

by **TheSweetKill** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:07 am UTC

I choose in a quadruply-locked bank vault

by **cjdrum** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:09 am UTC

After placing more_people in the quadruply-locked bank vault (and getting out), you wonder how the hell you did it. Do you:

a) Stand and ponder how you got a body into a quadruply-locked bank vault
b) Get back in the vault
c) Run from the bank
d) Get a chair and tie more_people to it using ropes made of bank notes

by **TheSweetKill** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:11 am UTC

Run from the bank

by **cjdrum** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:14 am UTC

While running, you see a whole bunch of cops, just around the corner. Do you:

a) Run faster!
b) Slow down
c) Ignore them
d) Start jogging
e) Go to them

by **TheSweetKill** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:32 am UTC

go to them

by **thorgold** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:39 am UTC

These aren't normal cops at all! They're ~~raptors~~ extraordinary cops. Anyway, they have a warrant for your immediate arrest.

A) Kung-fu montage!
B) Escape montage!
C) Surrender (no montage)
D) Surrender (montage!)

by **cjdrum** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:33 am UTC

d. Surrender (montage)

Purely because I don't remember ever seeing a surrender montage before.

by **thorgold** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:08 am UTC

A montage begins to play with this song in the background, showing your being brutally taken down by police (shot in the leg, then beaten until unconscious) and several weeks of being tortured in prison. Then, you are brought to trial and falsely accused of assassinating the President, and through several bribed witnesses, are found guilty and sentenced to three lifetimes in prison. As the montage closes, you sit in your supermax prison cell, five years later.

A) Ninja powers, activate! (Escape stealthily)
B) Rambo powers, activate! (Escape in a killing frenzy)
C) Wait, we're still in Limbo. Suicide with improvised weapons.

by **cjdrum** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:12 am UTC

Which song? I'm on a school computer, I can't get YouTube :/

Whatever it is...
A) Ninja powers, activate!

Although, I would prefer tree powers (YouTube asdfmovie)

by **thorgold** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:43 am UTC

cjdrum wrote:Which song? I'm on a school computer, I can't get YouTube :/

Whatever it is...
A) Ninja powers, activate!

Although, I would prefer tree powers (YouTube asdfmovie)

TREE POWERS, ACTIVATE (foop). The song is Lux Aeterna, by Clint Mansell. It's generally sad and is guaranteed to make you a little emo while you listen to it - it is the most depressing song on earth. It will suck out your soul. Anyway, back on topic...

The guards didn't expect you to be double jointed! Using your disturbing powers of flexibility, you escape your cell. As of yet, you are undetected. Your next step is to:
A) Use ninja powers to instigate a prison riot in the yard, drawing attention from yourself
B) Crawl through the air ducts
C) Find a disguise

by **TheSweetKill** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:48 am UTC

IGNORE ME

by **cjdrum** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:49 am UTC

a) Cause a riot

by **TheSweetKill** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:50 am UTC

oops double posted

by **TheSweetKill** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:53 am UTC

Your riot gets so bad everyone is getting killed

What do u do:

A) Make a run for it
B) Blow prison up
C) Implode prison
D) use a particle cannon to blow up the prison from a distantce

by **Platypodes** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:13 am UTC

D) use a particle cannon to blow up the prison from a distance

by **thorgold** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:25 am UTC

Well, you would blow up the prison from a distance, but you're currently in the prison. Large explosions could be an issue. Anyway, you're still undetected, and the guards are preoccupied with the out-of-control riot. Do you:
A) Join the riot and start killing guards
B) Scale the walls
C) Make a run for the entrance

by **cjdrum** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:28 am UTC

A) Join the riot

by **thorgold** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:38 am UTC

Stepping from the shadows, you kill one guard by snapping his neck, then kill another with a beam of pure hate.

The guards are now aware of your presence, and send ten men to capture you again. How do you attack?
A) Hate beam! (Kill one guard)
B) Small forest creatures (Kill two guards)
C) I like trains.

by **cjdrum** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:45 am UTC

I like trains.

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