The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Apparently, people like to eat.

Moderators: SecondTalon, Prelates, Moderators General

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Sprocket » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:43 pm UTC

CatProximity's tunafish cakes so as she does not eat Swordfish

One can of tuna,
one large egg,
probably about a half a cup of flour,
a little over quarter cup of diced onion,
about the same as really thinly diced potato,
I added some cajun seasoning as well.

Mix all this quite well together. Form into roughly half inch thick by 3 1/2" wide patties, roll in a bit of flour, and fry submerged a little over half way in oil until dark golden brown, and flip until the other side is golden brown as well. Makes about four patties. If patties aren't holding together, you might add another tablespoon of flour.

I looked up a recipe for "fried tunafish" and got the idea that it was possible to make tuna cakes from canned tuna from an ehow link, but the recipe is entirely my own thrown together "what do I have in the kitchen that would be yummy?" I've always been a huge fan of crab cakes but have never tried making anything of the sort. I was really pleased with these for a first try.
"She’s a free spirit, a wind-rider, she’s at one with nature, and walks with the kodama eidolons”
ImageImage Image Image
User avatar
Sprocket
Seymour
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:04 pm UTC
Location: impaled on Beck's boney hips.

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Nath » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:59 pm UTC

Canned salmon also works great for this. Try replacing the flour with breadcrumbs, or even crushed crackers. This will remove the possibility of getting that undercooked flour taste. Also, a bit of something acidic like vinegar or lemon juice helps.

You can also do this with other canned meats -- I made something very similar with chicken yesterday. As far as I can tell, this is the only legitimate use of canned chicken.
User avatar
Nath
 
Posts: 2894
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:14 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Impish » Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:58 am UTC

Butterscotch Sauce

Basically what it sounds like. Good with sticky date pudding (I may put it up eventually).
250g butter. Butter, not low fat butter, but but- but-- butter.
250 mL cream
400g brown sugar. Definitely brown.

1. Put butter and cream in saucepan.
1b. Turn heat on... etc.

2. When cream and butter has melted, add sugar and stir.

3. Enjoy hot with sticky date pudding and icecream.

4. Avoid being sick. Sometimes, it's quite hard...


/ I
Impish
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:45 am UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby _wtw_ » Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:46 pm UTC

Impish wrote:Butterscotch Sauce

Basically what it sounds like. Good with sticky date pudding (I may put it up eventually).
250g butter. Butter, not low fat butter, but but- but-- butter.
250 mL cream
400g brown sugar. Definitely brown.

1. Put butter and cream in saucepan.
1b. Turn heat on... etc.

2. When cream and butter has melted, add sugar and stir.

3. Enjoy hot with sticky date pudding and icecream.

4. Avoid being sick. Sometimes, it's quite hard...


/ I



Made this on a whim for New Years Eve, and the family are sitting around tubs of Ben & Jerry's umming and aahing. Apparently the sauce is pretty great!

I did usee dark brown sugar, and due to iffy scales I'm not sure if I used too much or not! But the sauce is grand. Recommended.
hermaj wrote:I love these forums. Everything turns into maths, and I have no idea why. :P


GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
_wtw_
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 8:49 am UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby minkis » Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:33 am UTC

One of my favorite desserts.
Its quite easy to make.

I call it: Easy Dessert.

8 oz.cool whip
2 TBLS. cocoa
3 bananas
3 cups miniature marshmallows
mix and eat
User avatar
minkis
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:57 pm UTC
Location: Fort Bragg, NC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:21 am UTC

As requested, a sort of recipe for what I made a few days ago. Ingredient list is completely from memory and probably inaccurate.

Wheat and veggie dish - about 3 portions
0.5-1 cup dried wheat grains
6 tiny zucchinis, cut to 1x1x3 cm cubes
2 large onions, roughly slices
3 small carrots, cut to 1x1x3 cm cubes
Half a medium cauliflower, separated to small flowers
1-2 cups mushrooms, diced (or just broken down to small pieces)
Bunch of fresh dill, thinly sliced.
Salt, pepper, olive oil.

Wash wheat, make sure to remove any bad-looking seeds. Strain and let dry.
Boil a pot of water (you'd want to cook the wheat like pasta, in a lot of water). Salt the pot so the water tastes about a salty as a soup.
Heat a pan (I used cast-iron) with some oil. Fry onions, then slowly add in the other ingredients - carrots, then cauliflower, then zucchinis, lastly mushrooms. I added some boiling water (just a few tablespoons) near the end to soften some of the veggies.
Season with salt and pepper.
Cook the wheat - it should take about 20-30 minutes. You'd like to to still be firm. Strain the wheat.
Add it to the pan, add the dill, add some olive oil, mix well and it's done!
Responsible wealthy people inspect their funds by occasionally taking baths in their coins.
User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
 
Posts: 5501
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby cerbie » Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:56 pm UTC

TYVM. Now, for clarification, are the dried wheat grains whole bulgur? 30 min seems an awfully short time for plain dried wheat, which IME, takes 6-8 hours if not soaked, and 1.5-2 hours, if given an overnight soak.
DSenette: (...) on the whole, even a trained killer cow is kind of stupid.
User avatar
cerbie
 
Posts: 934
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:14 am UTC
Location: USA

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Zohar » Sat Feb 26, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

Looks plain enough to me. Looks like so:
Spoiler:
Image

Legumes take a long time, true, but wheat is fine...
Responsible wealthy people inspect their funds by occasionally taking baths in their coins.
User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
 
Posts: 5501
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby cerbie » Tue Mar 01, 2011 1:24 pm UTC

All the bulgur I've seen is vibrant and more smooth/shimmery like that, and none of the plain dry wheat has been, so that's probably it. While varying in color, it universally has a more dull/bland look, like whole oats. Wikipedia example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wheat_in_sack.jpg

While I know I can't get any whole, if I can find some coarse enough to substitute, I'll try making it.

P.S. Zohar, you are a food distribution prophet. I said I couldn't find any whole, right? Normally, the place I can typically get whole wheat has plain dry white wheat, that takes forever to cook. Well, guess what they had yesterday, just shipped in from a market I used to go to, about 100 miles away? :D
DSenette: (...) on the whole, even a trained killer cow is kind of stupid.
User avatar
cerbie
 
Posts: 934
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:14 am UTC
Location: USA

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby lanicita » Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:27 am UTC

Hendu and Lanicita's Pineapple-Carrot Cake (stolen from here, but with a few tweaks):

* 1 cup whole wheat flour
* 1 cup all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup granulated sugar
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/3 cup vegetable oil
* 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 1 cup grated carrots
* 1 8-ounce can crushed pineapple, undrained
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1/3 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour bottom of a 9 x 9 x 2-inch pan. In large mixing bowl, stir together whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Add vegetable oil, applesauce, eggs, carrots, pineapple and vanilla. Mix on low speed until moistened, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Pour into pan and bake 40 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center of the cake comes out clean. Cool on wire rack. Frost with cream cheese frosting (I think coconut frosting would also work well).
LE4d wrote:have you considered becoming an electron

it takes just a little practice to learn to be
User avatar
lanicita
almost grown-up but not quite
 
Posts: 3962
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:28 am UTC
Location: Camberville

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Giant Speck » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:02 am UTC

American Style Goulash

  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 1/2 cup yellow onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup green bell pepper, diced
  • 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes
  • 1 can (15.0 oz) tomato sauce
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
  • pepper, to taste
Brown ground beef in sauté pan, adding in onion and green pepper. Drain and return to sauté pan. Add all other ingredients except macaroni and bring to a boil over medium high heat. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for at least twenty minutes, stirring occasionally. Prepare macaroni according to package directions and drain. Return to pot and combine ground beef mixture with macaroni. Simmer for an additional five to ten minutes, or until completely heated through. Serve.

Suggestions:

1. Ground beef can substituted with ground meat of choice. I have personally only tried it with beef and buffalo, and it has turned out alright. I'd advise against using ground sirloin (90% lean or greater), as the beef may turn out too tough for the goulash mixture. I recommend using ground round steak (85-89% lean). I want to try this recipe with ground turkey to see how it turns out.

2. Fresh tomatoes and garlic can be used in place of the canned tomatoes and garlic powder. I used fresh garlic and fresh tomatoes along with half a can of petite diced tomatoes the last time I made it and it was delicious.

3. For a different texture, try using penne instead of elbow macaroni.

4. This dish can be customized in many ways. I never make it the same way every time. Sometimes, I will add diced fresh mushrooms, oregano, basil, chili powder, cilantro, diced red bell peppers and scallions.
Image
"Did I say recently that I love Giant Speck? Because I love Giant Speck. He is the best." - Weeks
User avatar
Giant Speck
Bouncy Sex Marshmallow
 
Posts: 3624
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:30 pm UTC
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Bakemaster » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:09 am UTC

Giant Speck wrote:American Style Goulash

  • 1 pound ground beef American

There you go. Muy autentico!
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8787
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Ithinkabouttrees » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:26 am UTC

The Best Home-Made Beefaroni Ever

Ingredients:
*1 bag of Sharp cheddar shredded (this is only if you do not plan on using the cheese roux)
*1/2 - 1 lb of ground beef (depending on how much meat you want)
*1 can vegetarian chili (or leftover chili if you have that)
*1/12- 2 Cups of elbow macaroni (depending on how large the macaroni is, your amount will differ)
*Garlic powder, salt, and pepper to taste

CHEESE ROUX Ingredients:
* 4 oz of cheddar cheese
* 1 pint of milk
* 1.5 oz of plain flour
* 1.5 oz of butter
* salt and pepper for taste
(DO NOT double this! If you want more cheese, add the plain cheddar into your Beefaroni after you've added everything else.)

Equipment:
* 1 pasta pot
* 1 sauce pan
* 1 saute pan
* 1 casserole dish
Your stove and oven will be used for the cooking

Step 1: Your Pasta Water
I: Get out your pot, and fill it about 3/4 with water
II: Set that mother up to boil
III: Salt it up (this will allow your pasta to be flavored while cooking)

Step 2: Making your cheese roux (Recommended, but you can skip it if you are a lazy ass)
I: Heat the milk, flour, and butter on low in a pan, and whisk. Turn down the heat when it comes together, and stir for another 3-5 minutes
II:Add the cheese to the pan, along with whatever else you want to add seasoning wise. I personally add in some salt, pepper, garlic powder, and a hit of cyan for a kick.
III: Turn down to the absolute lowest setting on your stove to keep warm. If you're concerned with burning it, save making the roux for last.

Step 3: Your chili
I: If you are using canned chili, odds are it's going to be a little watery unless it condensed. Get out your sauce pan, and set it to about medium heat.
II: There isn't a lot of need for stirring, as you're just making a reduction. Let it sit while you prepare your pasta and casserole dish
III: If your chili is left over, or of the condensed variety, this step can be shortened to just heating it up on the stove. No need to reduce it down so much.
REMEMBER: It's vegetarian chili! The meat kind will not get the desired results, so don't use it as a substitute for the meat! You will not be happy.

Step 4: The meat
I: You want to brown your meat in a saute pan until it gets thoroughly cooked. Add in a little bit of oil so it doesn't stick to the bottom.
II: In the pan, season with a little bit of salt and pepper, it will be plenty flavored with the other ingredients in the cooking process.
III: Turn heat off, put a lid on it to keep it warm

Step 5: Pasta
I: Your water has more than likely come to a boil. Add in your pasta, and let sit
II: let your pasta cook for about 10 minutes. You don't want it completely under done, but having a bit of a bite to it is OK. It will cook more in the oven.
III: Take it to your sink, and pour it into your strainer.

Step 6: Combining and cooking
I: Into your casserole dish, pour in your pasta
II: Next, add the cheese roux, and stir to combine
III: Add in the chili and meat, stir
IV: add in however much cheese you want just strait up from the bag or block, and then stir again
V: Sprinkle the top with cheese, paprika, and garlic powder
VI: Into the oven at about 325º for 20 - 30 minutes

Serves 3 for about 2 days. This stuff is hardy and will stick with you for a while. Don't go swimming or work out after eating! Best served with garlic bread and a side Caesar.
"When all else fails, accept the extraordinary."

Spoiler:
SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDOR, DOBBY DIES, TONKS DIES, LUPIN DIES, SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE, TYLER ISN'T REAL, PLANET OF THE APES WAS REALLY EARTH, JAKE BECOMES ONE OF THEM, BENJAMIN DIES.
User avatar
Ithinkabouttrees
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:10 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby baci » Sat May 21, 2011 3:11 pm UTC

Hi , my first post...

Pistachio Pesto Salmon

wild caught side of salmon (about 3 lbs) skin removed

Pesto :

1 1/2 cup fresh basil
1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves (or mint)
1 cup shelled roasted pistachio nuts ( I roast them about 10 min)
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1/3 cup pecorino romano cheese
1/4-2/3 cup of olive oil

place all pesto ingredients in food processor...start w/ 1/4 of oil and add more to desired consistency.
pulse until nuts are finely chopped


spoon evenly over salmon and bake in 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes.


this serves a crowd for brunch/dinner by slicing the salmon in half down the center then into individual pieces.

you can also use individual fillets or steaks
elegant yet easy

can also use pesto on pasta or chicken
hope you like!
baci
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 1:55 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby grythyttan » Sun Jun 26, 2011 3:25 pm UTC

For whatever reason I haven't read this thread until today, what was I thinking?

"It's Pretty Much Brownies" Kladdkaka
Spoiler:
This is suspiciously simple in comparison to how deliious it is.

100g butter
1,5 dl flour
3 dl sugar
1 tsp vanilla sugar
1/4 tsp salt
4 tbsp cocoa powder
2 eggs


1. preheat oven to 175°C
2. Melt the butter
3. add all the other stuff (add the eggs last) and stir it all together.
4. (the most difficult step) Don't eat it all just yet.
5. pour/scrape the batter into one of those tart pans/cheesecake pans with removable bottom.
6. put it in the oven for 40 minutes. It will solidify a bit once it cools down, so don't worry if it's still really gooey when you take it out. The crust should be light brown and flakey.

Eat it with whipped cream or ice cream.
Last edited by grythyttan on Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:06 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
grythyttan
 
Posts: 466
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:46 pm UTC
Location: Hncwhxagykozzqlif azefkbtvw. Kjkd sb, ypwyw eg tdpm.

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Giant Speck » Sun Jun 26, 2011 3:36 pm UTC

Wait... shouldn't there be chocolate in there somewhere?
Image
"Did I say recently that I love Giant Speck? Because I love Giant Speck. He is the best." - Weeks
User avatar
Giant Speck
Bouncy Sex Marshmallow
 
Posts: 3624
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:30 pm UTC
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby grythyttan » Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:07 pm UTC

What the... Those damn internet gnomes clearly stole that line from my post. Clearly.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
grythyttan
 
Posts: 466
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:46 pm UTC
Location: Hncwhxagykozzqlif azefkbtvw. Kjkd sb, ypwyw eg tdpm.

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby MHD » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:19 am UTC

MHD's creative breakfeast:

I have been stranded at home with my dad a work most of the day and the rest of the family away in our summer cottage.
This means that the fridge and cupboard are close to empty. Thus comes creative cooking.

It is basically scrambled eggs with "chew"

Ingredients:
  • a small handful of rolled oats or similar grain product (I used about half and half of rolled barley and rice flakes)
  • three medium sized eggs
  • some kind of salsa (I used Santa Maria's medium hot pineapple salsa)
  • Salt, pepper and olive oil.

First, roast the oats lightly in olive oil on a frying pan. Depending on your preference you could go for dark brown roast.
Crack the eggs and whip the yolks apart, add salt and pepper.
Pour the eggs on the pan with the oats and stir vigorously as you would when making regular scrambled eggs.
When the eggs are done, add salsa.

Yum.
EvanED wrote:be aware that when most people say "regular expression" they really mean "something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a regular expression"
User avatar
MHD
 
Posts: 631
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:21 pm UTC
Location: Denmark

soup I made this morn

Postby westerville » Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:13 am UTC

Here is a revised post since the moderator rejected my last one. :oops:
Here is the recipe, enjoy. I used regular chile powder and chilpotle pepers in adobe sauce, couldn't find the powered spices!
Two Chile Chicken Soup
If you're looking for a little spice in your life (or maybe just your dinner), try this savory soup with protein-packed chicken, fiber-rich beans and a medley of fresh veggies. Two types of chiles give this dish a kick and are packed with health benefits. Capsaicin, the antioxidant that gives chile peppers their fiery sensation, is strongly anti-inflammatory. This soup is a good source of fiber, vitamins A and C, vitamin B6, iron and potassium. As an added bonus, the heat from the chiles may also temporarily boost metabolism, which might help you burn a few more calories.



Makes 6 servings.

Per serving: 180 calories, 4 g total fat (0 g saturated fat), 24 g carbohydrate,
13 g protein 7 g dietary fiber, 360 mg sodium.


1 corn tortilla, torn in 1-inch pieces
3 cups fat-free, reduced-sodium chicken broth, divided
1 Tbsp. canola oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/2 tsp. ground ancho chile (can use regular chili powder)
1/4-1/2 tsp. ground chipotle chile
1 Tbsp. dried oregano
1 (15 oz.) can crushed tomatoes 1 cup chopped butternut squash, in 1/2-inch pieces
3/4 cup frozen cut green beans
1 small green bell pepper, finely chopped
1 (15 oz.) can great northern beans, no salt added or rinsed and drained
1 cup cooked chicken breast, torn into bite-size pieces
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 lime, cut in 4 wedges, for garnish
1/4 cup chopped cilantro leaves, for garnish


Directions
In blender, whirl torn tortilla with 1 cup of broth until tortilla is pureed and soup becomes a cloudy liquid. Set aside.
Heat oil in large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and cook, stirring often, until translucent, 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook, stirring often, until onion is soft, 3 minutes longer.
Stir in ground ancho and chipotle chiles until they smell fragrant. Pour in tortilla and broth mixture and bring to a boil, 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add oregano, crushed tomatoes, remaining broth, squash, green beans and green pepper. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes.
Add canned beans and chicken and simmer, uncovered, until heated through, about 8 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.
To serve, ladle soup into deep bowls. Add a wedge of lime on rim of each bowl, and sprinkle top with chopped cilantro. Serve immediately.


Grocery list
Corn tortilla
Fat-free, reduced-sodium chicken broth
Canola oil
Onion
Garlic
Ancho chile (or regular chili powder)
Chipotle chile
Oregano
Tomatoes
Butternut squash
Green beans
Green bell pepper
Geat northern beans
Chicken breast
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Lime
Cilantro leaves



Did You Know?
If you bite into a pepper that makes your mouth burn, don't reach for a class of water – try milk. There's a protein in milk that breaks the bonds capsaicin forms with the nerves in your mouth.
westerville
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:33 am UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby westerville » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:16 am UTC

Still a delicous soup . I doubled the recipe so I could use all the vegetable up and still am eating it ! :D
westerville
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:33 am UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby philsov » Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:22 pm UTC

cross-posting from the "Healthier Work lunches" thread. Each of these works out to roughly 600 cals and costs $3 or less in ingredients per serving.

Chicken Sandwich: ~600 calories - 20g fat / 50g protein / 55g carb

Spoiler:
2 slices whole wheat bread
1 oz mozzarella cheese
1/2 chicken breast (cut for maximum surface area)
2 slices of tomatoes
1 tbsp mayo
dab basil spread paste


Beef Tips and Rice: 4 servings at ~600 cals each - 12g fat / 55g protein / 70g carb

Spoiler:
~1.5 lbs beef tips for stewing (6 oz worth per serving)
1 can beef broth or 1 beef boullion cube + 8 oz water
1 packet mushroom gravy mix + 8 oz water
red pepper + other spices

Place in crock pot/pressure cooker for 8 hours. Done.

2 cups brown rice - Makes 4 1/2 cup servings once cooked. I have a rice cooker, but I've heard stove top works just as well.

Put rice in bowl/plate. Smother with beef/broth. Yummy.


Black Bean and Corn Salad - makes 5 servings at ~200 cal a pop - 2g fat / 10g protein / 39g carbs. Combine with a baked turkey thigh and possibly a piece of fruit for a complete meal.
Spoiler:
8 oz dry beans -- throw in a 2 qt sauce pan with plenty of water. I also dice up half an onion, half a bell pepper, and 2 jalepenos and let em all stew together. After about 90 minutes on a low heat, the beans are tender enough. If you're the canned type, I think this works out to about 32 oz beans for a 1:1 bean/corn ratio
32 oz corn -- Largeish can. Crank that mother up
1 lime -- juice it, or in my case slice it, score it, and then squeeze over the mixture.
Other half of bell pepper - dice and put into bean/corn mixture raw. Great texture.
Cilantro bundle - finely dice about half a bundle
Dashes of tabasco

Combine in a big ass bowl. Servable chilled.


Shrimp Pasta Salad - makes 4 servings. To expand keep a 2 oz pasta/2oz shrimp / 0.75 tbsp mayo ratio. Calories per serving is 270, with 10g fat / 17g protein / 27g carbs

Spoiler:
Zatarin's Liquid Crab Boil (like 2 teaspoons)
~8 oz whole wheat pasta (I prefer rotini or penne for this dish)
~8 oz thawed/peeled shrimp -- medium/small size. I buy them split and deveined and peel the rest myself, but you ymmv.
3-4 tbsp mayo
<1 tbsp water (helps water down the mayo)
Cherry/Grape/Diced tomatoes
1 head romaine lettuce (shredded)
celery (wholly optional, I don't include it).

Is the basic recipe. Expand ratio as desired.

Put one teaspoon liquid crab boil in the water as you're boiling the pasta(!). When the pasta is almost done, crank up the fire, throw the shrimp in, and then lower the fire back down. Shrimp and pasta should get done simultaneously. Drain and mix in a bowl along with the mayo/water, and season with more crab boil and/or red pepper to taste. A little more expensive than previous dishes (damned shrimp), but its edible cold.


Omelette Muffins - Great for a quicker breakfast. Serving depends on muffin size, but mine clock in at 150 calories a pop - 12g fat / 18g protein / 2g carb (makes 14 muffins with 2200 total calories, depending cheese and bacon choices.)

My muffin pan only holds 12, so I throw the other two "muffins" into hallowed out bell peppers and bake them in similar settings.

Spoiler:
16 oz cottage cheese (2%)
6 eggs (beaten)
8 oz cheese (I use shredded cheddar)
10 strips bacon (cooked and crumbled)
~1/2 cup diced bell pepper/onion/green onion/etc
salsa / tabasco to taste
1 tbsp (oat) flour
1 tsp baking powder

Throw the cottage cheese in a blender to get good and smooth. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl. Pour into muffin tray. Bake at 350F for ~30 minutes.

Suggest reheating to eat, but they're easy to make when you do have free time and then you can zap in the microwave in the morning. A real time saver. I just have mine with the shrimp pasta salad for lunches for another ~600 calorie meal.
The time and seasons go on, but all the rhymes and reasons are wrong
I know I'll discover after its all said and done I should've been a nun.
User avatar
philsov
Not a fan of Diane Kruger
 
Posts: 1350
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:58 pm UTC
Location: Texas

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Inglonias » Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:09 pm UTC

My family got this recipe from my uncle - Very easy, and very tasty.

Peanut Butter Pie:
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup milk
8 oz whole cream cheese - soften by leaving out
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar

Mix all ingredients in a bowl with an electric mixer

Fold in Cool Whip, at least 8 oz

Put in a baked pie crust (if you don't want to/can't make your own, a pre-made crust from the store is just fine)

Freeze, serve thawed.
User avatar
Inglonias
 
Posts: 127
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:54 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Sun Jan 15, 2012 9:27 pm UTC

My mom found quite possibly the best damn brownies in the world. Once you try these, you will never want to go back to the store-bought mixes, or bakery brownies.

The Best Damn Brownies In The World

1½ cups sugar (287.5 gm)
¾ cup all-purpose flour (75 gm)
¾ cup cocoa powder (83.4 gm) (Ghirardelli is best, but Hershey's will do)
3 large or extra-large eggs
¾ cup butter, melted (172 gm)
pinch of salt
¾ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (135 gm) (definitely try to get Ghirardelli -- and don't get milk chocolate, or you'll be over-sugared. Semi-sweet is best)

1. Preheat oven to 325° F (160/170°C, gas mark 3, or moderate)

2. Put all dry ingredients in bowl, whisk together until well combined.

3. Add wet ingredients, gently fold with a spatula until combined. Do not beat -- you don't want to form gluten at all. Add the chocolate chips and gently fold until combined.

4. Line a 9x13 (22x33 cm) pan with parchment paper -- you want it to stick up on all sides.

5. Pour the batter into the pan, and spread it out. You'll want to kind of poke at it with the spatula, because if you try to literally spread it the paper will move around.

6. Bake for 20 - 40 min until a toothpick inserted in the highest point comes out clean. Remember you have chocolate chips in there, so poke in several places. NOTE: set your timer for 20 min, and if it's not done keep adding 5 min and checking until it's done. Don't overbake!

7. Remove from oven when done, then remove from the pan using the parchment paper. Let cool before slicing.

8. Oil your knife to keep the brownie from sticking. Slice into 12 portions. Or smaller if you're not as big a pig as we are -- you could easily get 16 brownies out of this and not feel cheated at all.

9. Pour a nice glass of milk and eat. Snarl at anyone who tries to steal "just a nibble" of your brownie. Tell 'em to get their own damn brownie.

Note: The last time she made these, we had a box of semi-sweet chocolate stars from the grocery store lying around. Instead of fooling with the Baker's, she used these. One brownie is all you will need. It doesn't matter what size - they are that good. You will be set for the day.
PRG

An important message for you:

010000100110010100100000011100110
111010101110010011001010010000001
110100011011110010000001100101011
000010111010000100000011110010110
111101110101011100100010000001100
010011000010110001101101111011011
1000101110
User avatar
PatrickRsGhost
 
Posts: 2278
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 5:43 pm UTC
Location: ZZ9PluralZAlpha

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby mindflare » Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:43 am UTC

This dip is... Not healthy, I don't think. But it is absurdly easy, and can be a meal (or is that just for us college students?) or an appetizer or what have you. Stolen mostly from my brother, who stole it from someone else. So feel free to steal-and-not-tell, it's kinda tradition. Anyways, on to the recipe!

mindflare's Buffalo Chicken Dip

Ingredients:
2 cans of cooked chicken (chunked)
1 bag of shredded cheese, preferably Mexican style.
1 small bottle or 2 cups of ranch dressing.
Approx. 1/2 cup of Franks Red Hot (I add and taste as I stir, make as hot as you like).

Note: The amount of cheese or chicken is variable to taste (as is the ranch/red hot). The amounts I've got are sized for whatever small crock pot I found in my parents's basement, so you be the judge of how much you need.

Directions:
Optional: Fork the chunked chicken to make it more shredded. If you're making it as a meal, I prefer to leave it as chunks. For appetizer/party dip, shredded probably works better.
Mix all ingredients in crock pot. I prefer to mix the cheese in throughout the process (so, ranch->cheese->red hot->cheese->chicken->cheese) to get it to mix through the entire mixture.
Turn on crock pot, let sit for approximately an hour (dependent on how much you have, obviously).
Top with cheese again once it's "done" cooking.
Dip stuff in it and eat.

In theory, you can eat this without cooking it at all; everything's already cooked and edible. It's better warmed, though, in my opinion.


I was introduced to it with Tostitos Scoops for the chips... But I've also found that Fritos Scoops offer a little more flavor. /shrug. Feedback is more than welcome!
"Oh, 'twould be marvelous if the world and its moral questions were like some game board, with plain black players and white, and fixed rules, and nary a shade of grey."
~Croaker (via Annals)--The Chronicles of the Black Company
User avatar
mindflare
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:47 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby sanchises » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:08 pm UTC

This meal's always a big crisis halfway trough (Oh me yarm SO MUCH SPINACH IS NEVER GOING TO FIT) , but even more rewarding if it works out fine. Also, the recipe is infallible. And to top it off, it only requires two pans (or three for big crowds). I've been cooking for half a year now as a student, and made this dish up by myself. What do you think?

sanchises' Spinach & Bacon Pasta

Ingredients (p.p.)
-200-250g spinach,
-200g bacon dices (like http://94.100.115.232/760200001-760250000/760245901-760246000/760245986_5_4I0-.jpeg, I'm not sure about the English translation as I'm Dutch)
-2 medium tomatoes
-1 medium onion
-100-125g spaghetti
-olive oil
-Oregano, basil, thyme, salt, pepper
-Grana Pedano cheese, or alternatively Parmezan if your store doesn't sell the first.

Right-o. We get a nice big high pan, and fill it with water. A lot of water. And we put a lid on it and put it on a stove, so that it'll boil. This'll be our Spaghetti Pan. When the water starts boiling (this will be about halfway trough the rest of the directions), add the spaghetti with a pinch of olive oil and a drop of salt (err?) and let boil for 8-9 minutes. It must be al dente, and certainly not overcooked, as the sauce isn't particularly firm.
Meanwhile, we'll have to chop the onions. Put those in a nice, big frying pan, filled with a bit of hot olive oil, and slowly fry them over a medium fire, stirring occasionally. This way, they'll caramelize and be awesome.
If your grocery store doesn't sell diced bacon, dice some yourself. Now, wash the spinach. Once washed and well drained, leave it somewhere safe and add the bacon to the pan with the onions. Fry them over a bit-more-than-a-medium fire, and fry them untill they're nice and tasty. Now comes the tricky part. We're going to add the spinach. Fill the pan with the onions and bacon to the top of the pan with spinach, and turn the spinach over regularly (this can be aided with your hands, as much of the spinach's still cold). The spinach will shrink, and you'll be able to add more. Repeat this progress indefinably, until you start panicking that it won't fit, until you find out that it does actually fit. Now, there might be a bit of excess water, especially when cooking for over four people, so simmer this off, while stirring regularly. For more than six people, I advice to bake and shrink the spinach in an other pan, whilst retaining the moisture: this can be added if the actual sauce's too dry.
Meanwhile, dice the tomatoes. Add them when the pasta needs about 4 minutes of cooking. Try not to stir anymore, but merely turn over the sauce now, to keep the tomato dices intact. Finally, add seasoning. This dish needs:
-An INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF OREGANO. If you think 'hm, it will be enough by now', it's not enough yet. If you think 'ow, that's a bit much', then it should be all right.
-Basil and thyme added to taste: I'm not a great fan of thyme, but I know people who are. Basil doesn't add a lot except for enhancing the tomato flavour a bit (like a caprese)
-This dish doesn't need a lot of salt, because the pedano shavings on the top will be salty too. However, the importance of pepper cannot be underestimated, as spinach has a quite blend flavour.

Now, dress up your deep plates or bowls as following:
-Add pasta, and top it off with a decent amount of spinach sauce
-Add shaved pedano cheese on the top, and decorate with some fresh basil leaves.
-Provide a pepper mill for your guests to add fresly grind pepper over their dish (preferably black or 4-season pepper)
sanchises
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:32 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby philsov » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:18 pm UTC

sanchises' Spinach & Bacon Pasta


while your term is accurate, the term "diced bacon" is the more common phrase, I think.

Also hotlinking the image just because I can:

Spoiler:
Image


Also... ever tried garlic in that recipe? Seem like it'd fit right in.
The time and seasons go on, but all the rhymes and reasons are wrong
I know I'll discover after its all said and done I should've been a nun.
User avatar
philsov
Not a fan of Diane Kruger
 
Posts: 1350
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:58 pm UTC
Location: Texas

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby sanchises » Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:48 pm UTC

philsov wrote:Also... ever tried garlic in that recipe? Seem like it'd fit right in.


Forgot to mention that! I'll edit that in later, I'm a bit in a hurry, but add 1 clove of garlic per person, chopped according to taste, just after the onions (I usually chop the onions, throw them in the pan, chop the garlic and add it).

Also, I forgot about the spoiler tag, and I didn't want to mess up my layout.
sanchises
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:32 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby annarose » Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:40 pm UTC

Simple Black Bean Burrito

Ingredients:
1. can of black beans
2. salsa
3. sliced avocado
4. shredded cheese
5. mayo
6. tortilla
7. salt, pepper, oil

Instructions:
1. drain and wash black beans
2. heat ~1tbsp of oil in a pan (medium-high), then add the black beans (season them with some salt and pepper) and let cook while you're prepping the rest (10 minutes tops)
3. nuke the tortilla for about 10 seconds in the microwave to make it soft
4. I like to spread a little mayo on the tortilla
5. put the cheese, avocado, salsa, and hot black beans in the tortilla, wrap it up into a cylindrical-ish shape, and enjoy
optional: add scrambled eggs to make it a breakfast burrito
annarose
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:56 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby MrDrake » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:50 pm UTC

Purple Stew

This is something I invented last winter, because I found purple carrots at the local Woolworths.

Ingredients
1kg of ox tail (lamb shanks are also awesome, but really any stewing meat will do)
1 big eggplant (aka aubergine), peeled and chunked
1 bunch purple carrots, coarsely chopped
1 medium purple sweet potato (aka kumera), peeled and diced
1 half purple cabbage, coarsely chopped
1 large red tuscan onion (any red/purple onion will do), peeled and diced
1 large handful of button mushrooms
a few cloves of garlic (to taste, diced garlic will do)
a quarter of a bottle of red wine (I personally like Merlot, but you may not care)
salt to taste (this can get quite sweet, so you need the salt to balance the flavours. I personally use Aromat, but it does contain MSG)

Method
Place the ox tail in the bottom of a slow cooker. Place the dry ingredients into the cooker, with the sweet potato at the bottom. Add the red wine, then turn on high for at least six hours. Stir and add salt to taste. This meal gets better the longer you leave it, so is perfect if you make it in the morning before work/school. If you can stir it during the day, the better. Serve with rice or thick crusty bread (or on its own if you are against carbs).
User avatar
MrDrake
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:20 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Pressed Bunson » Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:33 pm UTC

These recipies are all from various sources, and my mom was nice enough to write them down to put on her blog and share with her friends.

Lemon Bars
Spoiler:
Ingredients

CRUST

2 cups flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter

FILING

4 eggs
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 cup lemon juice

GLAZE

1 cup powdered sugar
3 Tbs lemon juice

Directions


To prepare the crust:

Preheat oven to 350.
Mix flour, powdered sugar, and butter in large bowl with electric mixer on low speed for 2 minutes, or until crumbly.
Press mixture into bottom of an ungreased 9x13 pan and bake for 20 to 30 minutes, or until lightly brown.
Remove from oven, but leave oven at 350.

To prepare the filling:


Stir eggs, sugar, flour, and baking powder in a medium bowl until completely combined.
Add lemon juice and stir until completely smooth.
Pour the mixture over the warm crust and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the top is golden brown.
Let cool completely.

To prepare the glaze:


Stir powdered sugar and lemon juice in a small bowl until smooth.
Smooth the glaze over the bars, let set for 30 minutes.
Cut into 2 inch squares.


Strawberry Cream Pie
Spoiler:
WARNING: This pie needs several hours in the freezer before it can be served. Be sure to fix it well in advance of when you need it. The day before or the morning of works perfectly!

Ingredients:

1 (18 ounce) jar strawberry preserves
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 cups diced, fresh strawberries (see directions)
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 (16 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed, plus additional for garnish if desired
2 (8 or 9-inch) prepared graham cracker pie crusts (or homemade crusts)

Directions:


Rinse and hull several strawberries. (I typically use about 2/3rds of a plastic produce container.)
Place the strawberries, a few at a time, in a food processor. Pulse just enough to have tiny pieces of strawberries, but don't puree them. Keep doing this until you have 1 and 1/2 cups.
In a large bowl, mix the strawberry preserves, the strawberry pieces, the sweetened condensed milk, and the lemon juice.
Fold in the whipped topping.
Spoon into two prepared crusts.
Freeze for at least 4-6 hours.
Take out of freezer 5-10 minutes before slicing and serving. Top with additional whipped cream or fresh strawberry slices if desired.


Cinnamon Rolls
Spoiler:
The recipe is already doubled for you, because I'm nice that way.

Bread Machine Cinnamon Rolls
Dough Ingredients:

3 Tbs oil (The original recipe calls for canola. I used vegetable cause it's what I had.)
1 cup plus 2 Tbs warm milk
2 eggs (The original calls for 1 egg plus 2 egg whites. Like that was going to happen.)
1/2 cup sugar
4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
3 tsp bread machine yeast

Filling Ingredients:

4 Tbs melted butter
1 and 1/3 cup brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Icing Ingredients:

4 Tbs softened butter
2 tsp milk
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2 tsp vanilla

Directions:

Put all ingredients in bread machine in order listed.
Run the bread machine on its 'dough' setting.
Three options are now open to you. I won't tell you which path I took.
PATH A: Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and proceed to the oven preheating step.
PATH B: Turn the dough out into a bowl with a lid and put in the fridge until you can roll it out.
PATH C: Be so excited about going to see the new Avengers movie that you totally forget about the dough in the dough machine so that it sits and has a nice extended rise time in the pan while you are watching some of the world's greatest superheros save the planet from Loki and his army.
Preheat your oven to 325.
Roll your dough into a large rectangle. If, perchance, your dough sat in the machine longer than it should have, you might have to divide the dough and roll out one rectangle at a time. Just saying.
Brush your dough with melted butter. Mix the brown sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle on top of butter.
Roll the dough up and cut into sections about an inch to an inch and a half wide.
Place rolls in two greased 9" cake pans. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes until browned. (Alternatively, you can place your rolls in the cake pans, cover and refrigerate overnight, and then bake them in the morning.)
While rolls are baking, mix the icing ingredients. Ice rolls while still very warm, but not while piping hot from the oven.


How to Cook Bacon
Spoiler:
Do NOT pre-heat your oven.

Once you know that, the rest is super easy.

Line two baking sheets with aluminum foil. (Use baking sheets with rims to contain grease).
Place strips of bacon on the baking sheets. I found that each baking sheet held about half a pound without any overlapping of strips.
Put the baking sheets in the COLD oven. Then close the door and turn the oven on to 400.
Bake. The original recipe said to bake for 17-20 minutes. Mine took closer to 30. They are done when they turn a golden brown without being or looking crispy.
Take them off the baking sheets as soon as they are done and transfer them to a tray of paper towels. Do this right away. I mean it.
Eat. They are juicy, delicious, and reasonably mess free!


French Toast Casserole
Spoiler:
Ingredients

2 Tbs corn syrup
1/2 cup butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
cinnamon to sprinkle
1 loaf French bread (white or wheat)
5 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt

Directions

Combine the corn syrup, butter, and brown sugar in a small sauce pan. The original recipe says to simmer until the sugar is melted. I've never figured this step out. My syrup always seems grainy, but it works.
Grease a 9x13 casserole dish. Pour syrup mixture into the bottom of the casserole dish. Sprinkle the surface with cinnamon.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, vanilla, and salt.
Slice bread into thick slices, like an inch and a half thick. Place bread slices in casserole dish over the syrup mixture.
Pour the egg and milk mixture over the bread slices. Yes, this will completely fill the pan and the spaces in between the bread slices. It's supposed to do this.
Cover with plastic wrap. Place the dish in the refrigerator overnight OR prep this in the morning and let it soak all day for dinner in the evening. (And as a side note, don't be like me. Clear off a place to put this before you open the fridge door and try to hold the heavy dish full of liquid with one hand while you precariously stack plastic containers of leftovers and half full salsa jars with the other hand. That sort of scenario rarely has a happy ending.)
Bake in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes.
Asmodieus wrote:Knock knock.
Whose there?
Your friends, we're staging an intervention.

black_hat_guy wrote:There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In a specified way,
Resulting in circumstance C.


Ncoppa jammo ja, funiculì, funiculà!
User avatar
Pressed Bunson
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2012 12:52 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Servant-of_Christ » Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:40 am UTC

a friend of mine made these at camp from leftovers, but they are amazing.

SoC's Sugar fruits wrote:pour pink lemonade powder onto a plate.
Halve grapes and set in powder.
enjoy!
Servant-of_Christ
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:55 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Роберт » Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:13 pm UTC

I just noticed this thread is capitalized wrong.
The Great Hippo wrote:[T]he way we treat suspected terrorists genuinely terrifies me.
Роберт
 
Posts: 4301
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 1:56 am UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby EchoRomulus » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:57 pm UTC

This is something I made out of desperation for creamy cheesey goodness.

Short Cut Alfredo:

2-4 oz (by volume) of light alfredo sauce from a jar.

1 package of ramen noodles.

2 crimini mushrooms.

Boil the noodles and remove water. Disregard seasoning package. Add alfredo sauce and diced mushrooms. No need to heat through, the noodles should be hot enough.

Extra cheese or meat, optional.
"In here life is beautiful." --Cabaret
User avatar
EchoRomulus
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:26 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:19 pm UTC

when i cook this, i usually just kind of eyeball the spices, so they'll be an approximation. add more/less as you see fit.

also, this is a recipe for about 2 pounds of pasta? so if you're planning on making less there'll definitely be leftovers. (this cans pretty easily though, and tastes better after a few days.)
William's Really Good Marinara Sauce Like Wow

(This takes about 2 hours)
Ingredients
2 pounds of any kind of pasta
1 head of garlic - minced (or more. more is good.)
1 large yellow onion - diced
3 cans of diced tomatoes
1 can of tomato paste
2 cups of chicken or pork broth (approx. one can of that bronson's stuff, but i usually use homemade stock)
2 Tbsp sweet basil (dried or fresh, doesn't really matter)
1 Tbsp oregano (same as above)
1 tsp parsley (optional, but it helps offset the sweetness from the basil and tomatoes if you're into that sort of thing)
1/4 tsp of red pepper flakes (or more if you want it to have more of a spice. once i put in about a half tablespoon and it was pretty nice)
black pepper to taste
olive oil

1. get a LARGE saucepan (i use a huge frying pan we have at home but this'd be easier i think) going on about medium to medium-low, get enough olive oil in the pan to have it coat the bottom pretty nicely - not too thick, though.
2. once the olive oil is hot, throw in the onions and cook them until nearly see-through. stir occasionally.
3. once the onions are see-through, toss the garlic in and stir it often to prevent it from browning too much. once the garlic becomes fragrant, put in the red pepper flakes.
4. add the paste - stir it around to get the onion/garlic mix thoroughly coated. add all the spices and get those into the tomato-y mix. once it's heated again, add the cans of tomatoes. however, you have to add them one by one (let them heat up between adding cans, basically). stir a lot.
5. turn it down to medium-low. add a cup of broth, stir it in.
6. put a lid on it! stir every now and then, and turn it down to low if it's simmering too hard. about an hour in, add the other cup of broth.
7. start pasta water (add salt if you want, it's recommended) and cook the pasta according to package directions.
8. drain pasta/get dishes out/silverware/serve the sauce on the pasta

this is my first time writing a recipe, so sorry if it sounds weird. :)
Commander Shepard wrote:I was only "mostly dead". Try finding that option on government paperwork.

Tomlidich the second wrote:You cannot surgically graft enough middle fingers to my body to express how fed up I am with this.
User avatar
WilliamTheConqueror
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:16 pm UTC
Location: Holton, Kansas

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Bakemaster » Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:42 pm UTC

Adding chicken or beef broth plus tomato paste is a bit unusual; you're thinning the sauce and thickening it again, and in my experience people expect marinara to be vegetarian. But I can see why you'd do it if what you want is some of that savory flavor and animal fat.

I would recommend leaving the basil out until the end, once the heat's off. At least, if you're using fresh basil; otherwise you'll end up cooking away the flavor. Not sure if it makes a difference with dry basil, which I've never found to have much flavor to begin with, but if you dry your own maybe it's better.

A good marinara recipe is a wonderful thing, and breaking down the tomatoes slowly is the only way to go if you've got the time. Not too different from my own recipe all in all.
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8787
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Nath » Sun Feb 02, 2014 1:47 am UTC

I don't know if it's the only way to go. An old-school marinara is just tomatoes, oil, some kind of allium, salt, pepper and some herb, cooked for less than 15 minutes. The NY Times had a little thing about it a few days ago:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/29/dinin ... ering.html

Bittman's version is similar:

http://www.today.com/id/29633150/ns/tod ... u2hCfldUrU

A long-simmered sauce with a long ingredient list can be great too, though. Try it with a bit of Thai anchovy sauce.
User avatar
Nath
 
Posts: 2894
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:14 pm UTC

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Bakemaster » Sun Feb 02, 2014 4:41 am UTC

Interesting, TIL. I'll have to get some quality tomatoes this summer to try it with.
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8787
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sun Feb 02, 2014 6:02 am UTC

Green lentil flour makes EVERYTHING AWESOME. I will have to post some recipes once I've perfected them.
~ It's been 70 years. You're not a neo-Nazi... you're a fucking asshole. ~
RealGrouchy wrote:Can't talk now. Fucking.
Sprocket wrote:This? This is my dick. It's delicious.
User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
What does the FOX say?
 
Posts: 10826
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:02 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:Adding chicken or beef broth plus tomato paste is a bit unusual; you're thinning the sauce and thickening it again, and in my experience people expect marinara to be vegetarian. But I can see why you'd do it if what you want is some of that savory flavor and animal fat.

I would recommend leaving the basil out until the end, once the heat's off. At least, if you're using fresh basil; otherwise you'll end up cooking away the flavor. Not sure if it makes a difference with dry basil, which I've never found to have much flavor to begin with, but if you dry your own maybe it's better.

A good marinara recipe is a wonderful thing, and breaking down the tomatoes slowly is the only way to go if you've got the time. Not too different from my own recipe all in all.


If I get the opportunity, I cook it all day, but most of the time I only have 2 or 3 hours to work with...

I like the idea with fresh basil - I'll have to look into that. All I ever use is dried basil (because that's what my parents buy, sigh.) Hopefully once it gets warmer, I'll be starting my own herb garden, so I'll have the opportunity to use fresher herbs!
Commander Shepard wrote:I was only "mostly dead". Try finding that option on government paperwork.

Tomlidich the second wrote:You cannot surgically graft enough middle fingers to my body to express how fed up I am with this.
User avatar
WilliamTheConqueror
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:16 pm UTC
Location: Holton, Kansas

Re: The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Postby Bakemaster » Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:31 am UTC

The good news is that basil is pretty easy to grow. The bad news is that once you start growing your own, you will never have enough.
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8787
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Previous

Return to Food

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest