xkcd

by **JamesP** » Fri Mar 25, 2011 11:23 pm UTC

I'll admit I got this idea from PWoT, but it's usually quite funny seeing the way games can screw you over.

Basicaly, post whenver you die in hilarious circumstances.

FUEL: Cruising down the freeway from one side of the map to the other to give me something to do whilst I think about some things. I see a truck up ahead so I pull in and overtake on the outside.

BAM! The bastard broadsides me when he turns without indicating. I get sent flying at least 500 meters (I was in dragonfly) and collect 600 fuel on the way there by ramming into suspiciously well placed barrels. Said truck then rams into another truck coming the other way before fucking off at top speed through the desert. I know it's post-apocalyptic-MadMax-land but that guy was just being a dick.

by **poxic** » Fri Mar 25, 2011 11:35 pm UTC

Falling through a bridge in Oblivion. If you hit quicksave while jumping, and are on a bridge, you will often fall through that bridge and onto the ground far below it.

This one in particular was the one from the town of Skingrad to the castle. "Would you like to restore your last saved game?"

by **Magnanimous** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:46 am UTC

I like this thread.

My Rhyhorn just got wiped out by an exploding Graveler... Angst.

by **Xeio** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 4:45 am UTC

Fuck, well I lost twenty dollars and my self respect because of this thread, does that count?

by **New User** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 5:55 am UTC

Super Smash Bros. Melee/Brawl: I am charging up smash attack, suddenly a Bob-omb appears in front of me. There is nothing I can do but attack it and die. This happens too often.

by **Korrente** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 6:16 am UTC

My ultimate: 'This game is plotting against me' moment occurred in the Gibraltar map, Battlefield 2142.

So I'm laying on a bridge with sniper rifle or heavy MG (it's been several years ago) and a bot in a tank from my own team runs me over. A medic rushes up and heals me just in time, so I get back to shootin'. Not three seconds later, a jeep thing (also from my team) runs me over. The medic about-faces and heals me again. Before he is done, a jeep from the other team runs us both down. A second medic rushes over to us and heals me. Before he can heal the other medic and before I can move, we are all run over by a hover tank (how does that work??). So we lay there dying because our team is out of medics, and are run over two more times before respawning. It was extremely frustrating but hilarious at the same time.

by **Technical Ben** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:47 am UTC

Xeio wrote:Fuck, well I lost twenty dollars and my self respect because of this thread, does that count?

Huh?
I realised I've not got enough cash to survive the last level of "Revenge of the Titans". And trying to replay from level 1 I'm doing worse. Darn the dynamic difficulty adjuster!

by **KrazyerKate** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:54 am UTC

New User wrote:Super Smash Bros. Melee/Brawl: I am charging up smash attack, suddenly a Bob-omb appears in front of me. There is nothing I can do but attack it and die. This happens too often.

Along the same lines, I've lost count of the number of times I've accidentally Down+B'd myself off the edge with Yoshi, Bowser, Dee Dee Dee, Kirby, or Capt. Falcon.

I also have a nasty habit of being right in front of my friend when he's using Falcon Punch, no matter how loudly telegraphed the move is or how fast a character I'm using.

by **Menacing Spike** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:08 pm UTC

Barbarian smash! Barbarian whirl! Barbarian SHOUT! Barbarian jump!

*Oblivion knight casts iron maiden*

Barbarian dies!

by **WarDaft** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:51 pm UTC

Some time ago, I cast a molten boulder at the Cow King. I figured I would be pretty much okay, because I had 500 health in normal. That was the last mistake my druid ever made.

by **psion** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:40 am UTC

I propose that the game within which the experience exists should be listed in a spoiler after, and only after, the description of the experience.

by **SecondTalon** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:03 am UTC

Technical Ben wrote:
Xeio wrote:Fuck, well I lost twenty dollars and my self respect because of this thread, does that count?

Huh?

It's a wordfilter. Don't question it.

by **Jahoclave** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:04 am UTC

OH GOD! THE CREEPER! THE CREEPER! THE EXPLODEY GREEN PENIS OF DOOM! *sits in the corner and weeps*

by **cephalopod9** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:34 am UTC

creeper's keep wrecking my front door.
I've been trying to get some glowstone, and finally climbed up to some, but I was above a single layer over a lake of magma (so I could break it, but it would just fall down and incinerate) must have spent 20 minutes trying to build a bridge under it, then a ghast shot me and I fell in the magma.

by **ProZac** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:19 pm UTC

I'm not sure it ended with my death, but either way, what I found extremely frustrating while my friend was laughing his ass off about:

First Assassin's Creed, I had just escaped the guards chasing me. I get out of cover and hop down to the street level. As I'm walking past a guard, one of the guards that had been chasing me on the roof decided to hop down to return to his post. He does so, falls right behind me, and dies from the impact. This causes the guard I'm walking past to scream "ASSASSIN!" and another chase ensues. All while I'm screaming "Are you kidding me?! I had nothing to do with that... sorta!"

by **Menacing Spike** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 4:15 pm UTC

ProZac wrote:I'm not sure it ended with my death, but either way, what I found extremely frustrating my friend was laughing his ass off about:

First Assassin's Creed, I had just escaped the guards chasing me. I get out of cover and hop down to the street level. As I'm walking past a guard, one of the guards that had been chasing me on the roof decided to hop down to return to his post. He does so, falls right behind me, and dies from the impact. This causes the guard I'm walking past to scream "ASSASSIN!" and another chase ensues. All while I'm screaming "Are you kidding me?! I had nothing to do with that... sorta!"

Oblivion: cast frenzy on beggar, beggar punches guard, guard skewers begger.
Guard grouches, and touches the dead sod.
"The body is still warm. Looks like we got a murderer on our hands."

by **mike-l** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:43 pm UTC

I just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.

by **JamesP** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:28 pm UTC

Mike-l

Fuck....

....You

by **mike-l** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:36 pm UTC

I discovered last night that if standing on the very edge of a moving elevator, and you jump straight up, you will not land on the elevator. This will likely cause you to fall to your death.

Moreover, if you accept a rez when the elevator is up, it will not take and you will have to relog to be able to release

Spoiler:

by **Menacing Spike** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:47 pm UTC

mike-l wrote:I discovered last night that if standing on the very edge of a moving elevator, and you jump straight up, you will not land on the elevator. This will likely cause you to fall to your death.

Moreover, if you accept a rez when the elevator is up, it will not take and you will have to relog to be able to release

Spoiler:
WoW

Ah, WoW.

My most hated Teleporter malfunction?
It doesn't transmogrify you or anything. It doesn't replace you with your evil twin. It does teleport you to the destination. It just teleports you 100 yards over the ground.

by **New User** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:14 am UTC

mike-l wrote:I discovered last night that if standing on the very edge of a moving elevator, and you jump straight up, you will not land on the elevator. This will likely cause you to fall to your death.

Moreover, if you accept a rez when the elevator is up, it will not take and you will have to relog to be able to release

Spoiler:
WoW

I played WoW for a little while. I think I remember going into the elevators in the Undercity and there was a spot on which I could stand in the elevator, and yet I was not actually standing on the elevator floor. So the elevator went down and I remained standing on this tiny ledge in the elevator shaft. So then if I moved I would fall to my death. I played WoW in 2009 so there was no excuse for why this hadn't been fixed yet.

by **Cynical Idealist** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:26 am UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:My most hated Teleporter malfunction?
It doesn't transmogrify you or anything. It doesn't replace you with your evil twin. It does teleport you to the destination. It just teleports you 100 yards over the ground.

Why are you not wearing a parachute cloak when teleporting?
Acceptable answers include "because I'm a mage well-practiced at properly timing Blink", "because I'm a mage with light feathers/glyph of feather fall", "because I'm a priest with light feathers/glyph of levitate", and "because I like repair bills".

by **Menacing Spike** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:29 am UTC

Cynical Idealist wrote:
Menacing Spike wrote:My most hated Teleporter malfunction?
It doesn't transmogrify you or anything. It doesn't replace you with your evil twin. It does teleport you to the destination. It just teleports you 100 yards over the ground.

Why are you not wearing a parachute cloak when teleporting?
Acceptable answers include "because I'm a mage well-practiced at properly timing Blink", "because I'm a mage with light feathers/glyph of feather fall", "because I'm a priest with light feathers/glyph of levitate", and "because I like repair bills".

Because level.
And now because demon leap

.

by **KrazyerKate** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:11 pm UTC

The following Halo enemies/weapons can go fuck themselves and their insta-kill crap:

Hunters
Elites (up close)
Suicide-Sticky Grunts
Wraiths
Revenants
Fuel Rod Guns
Swords
Energy Hammers

by **Orkimond** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:22 am UTC

Playing dota. hit by stun. hit by another stun. then another. dead.

by **Menacing Spike** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:28 am UTC

Orkimond wrote:Playing dota. hit by stun. hit by another stun. then another. dead.

Dude, buy a BKB.

by **Xeio** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:56 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:
Orkimond wrote:Playing dota. hit by stun. hit by another stun. then another. dead.
Dude, ~~buy a BKB~~ stop playing DotA.

Much better.

by **Menacing Spike** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:11 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
Menacing Spike wrote:
Orkimond wrote:Playing dota. hit by stun. hit by another stun. then another. dead.
Dude, ~~buy a BKB~~ stop playing DotA.
Much better.

He'd miss out a great game. How is that better?

(granted, him missing the community might be a good thing)

by **Xeio** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:12 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:(granted, him missing the community might be a good thing)

Ah, sorry, I lump them together. It may be true that DotA isn't as bad if you didn't have to play with other people who... well... play DotA... :wink:

by **Armadillo Al** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:04 pm UTC

Something froze me in place, and then I got clawed to death by a kitten.

by **Larry** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 3:07 am UTC

Starved to death on level 2. No food anywhere.
Then I got ambushed by soldier ants in the minetown hardware store. Would have made it if the door hadn't resisted.
Then I accidentally kicked down a shopkeeper's door, also in minetown. Should have just run away, but I tried to pay for the damage and she wasn't interested.

Spoiler:

by **InfamousAnarchist** » Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:28 pm UTC

Jahoclave wrote:THE CREEPER! THE EXPLODEY GREEN PENIS OF DOOM!

That's what happens when you have no protection from the explosion.

by **Plasma Man** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:49 pm UTC

I'd almost conquered the whole map, and just had the final battle to go. I'd committed most of my army, including my leader, and won a hard-fought battle. Unfortunately, my leader was killed in the battle, so instead of achieving conquest and ultimate victory, every region decides to rebel against me and have an uprising. I can't pay for any more troops because I can't raise any revenue, so am killed by a nationwide uprising after having conquered all my enemies.

Spoiler:

by **nowfocus** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:12 pm UTC

Just had a pretty fun death in Team Fortress 2. Having played the sniper a fair bit, I have a generally good sense of when I'm being aimed at and how long it takes for them to get a shot off, so I often try to jump just before they shoot, turning a lethal headshot into a nonlethal body shot. I see a sniper and hop into the air, getting a full powered body shot in the process. I survive, but the blast knocks me straight back. Unfortunately, I'm at the top of a hill, so I end up dropping some distance and dying from fall damage.

God this game is fun.

by **illiterati** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:04 pm UTC

Maxed out level 30 character, badass of the Wastelands. Great armor, great weapons. I'm relatively convinced that NOTHING can harm me at this point. I was re-exploring a sewer area that should have presented zero challenges. A puny ghoul runs out in front of me & I nonchalantly pull out my combat shotgun &blow him to he....oh wait, hey I was standing in front of a leaking gas-pipe. Correction, I blow MYSELF to hell. I never even know the game HAD gas leaks. Wth? It was quite an excellent explosion though & rather amusing.

Spoiler:

by **Amnesiasoft** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:06 am UTC

So I was playing some Space Station 13. I decide "Let's play librarian, for the lulz." The game starts up for me to find out that... I'm the syndicate traitor. The big problem here being that not only is librarian a horrible role for that, I've also never played syndicate before. I find my way over to the locker room where there's a glass wall looking into a maintenance tunnel. "Well, that's convenient! I can make my way into the maintenance tunnels to plant a power sink!" I think to myself. Nobody is around, so I begin happily bashing in the glass. I get to the last panel and smash it... just as the detective makes his way past the door. He comes to investigate. Fortunately for me, I have a sleepy pen. I get him with it and proceed to drag him into the tunnels and choke him to death.

As I sit around trying to figure out how to take his stuff off, I take a little too long and the warden, who was looking for the detective, goes to the last place he'd radioed anything in. Immediately he tases me, cuffs me, and drags me off to jail, beating me with a stun stick in the process. I get jailed and put on trial for the murder of the detective. The trial goes.. okay. He doesn't manage to prove anything. His closing statement went something like this: "I will personally kill anyone who declares him to be innocent."

The jury begins to share their opinions... the second person says "Innocent." The warden shouts "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" at him, goes up to him and starts shooting him. He runs off to safety. Meanwhile, the warden decides to enter the holding chamber in the courtroom where I'm handcuffed, and kills me. He and the head of security begin killing or arresting everyone else on the station.

by **KrO2** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:51 am UTC

NetHack. 'Nuff said.
Most recently, upon entering the first room after the start I got blinded by a flash of light, decided to force the lock on a chest while I waited to recover, and got attacked by a zombie, two newts, and a grid bug. Or, since I was blind, by four "It"s. I quaffed my starting potion of extra healing (wizard ftw) and then I could see again. My kitten arrived to save the day and I ended up with about half health. Then I opened the chest and got fried by an electric shock. Dead on level one.

by **Xeio** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 1:40 pm UTC

KrO2 wrote:NetHack. 'Nuff said.

Must... not... reinstall...

by **mike-l** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:02 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
KrO2 wrote:NetHack. 'Nuff said.
Must... not... reinstall...

Install? Real men play on nethack.alt.org

by **Menacing Spike** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:28 pm UTC

KrO2 wrote:NetHack. 'Nuff said.
Most recently, upon entering the first room after the start I got blinded by a flash of light, decided to force the lock on a chest while I waited to recover, and got attacked by a zombie, two newts, and a grid bug. Or, since I was blind, by four "It"s. I quaffed my starting potion of extra healing (wizard ftw) and then I could see again. My kitten arrived to save the day and I ended up with about half health. Then I opened the chest and got fried by an electric shock. Dead on level one.

*Cockatrice polymorph*
... I can lay eggs?
*stupid death ensues*

Who is online