0889: "Turtles"

[Ephemeron]

Some of you are rather snobbish, uptight, prudish, and seem to think that anything other than an obscure reference with an intelligent spin is beneath you when it comes to these comics. Lighten the Hell up. xD

I agree with this guy. Not every comic has to be a clever reference. Comics where a semi-obscure reference is the basis of the joke (I'm looking at you, 800) fail on a large percentage of the audience.

[aegiswings]

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

If you don't agree, which one is worse?

http://www.xkcd.com/118/

That comic is great. I understand that you won't get it if you aren't familiar with Paul Simon's "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover", but once you listen to that song, you can see how that comic is pretty funny, right? Not getting a reference is not a good explanation why a comic isn't funny. If there is a reference in the turtle comic that I'm just not getting, well, then I apologize.

If you know the song but still don't find the comic funny, well, fair enough, but I still think that the comic is better than the turtle comic in that it at least has a joke.

[clanders]

I think Randall sustained a blow to the head. Can anything else explain the nonsense that he's been putting out recently?

This comic would have been marginally better if he had left out the turtle "thinking" things.

[aegiswings]

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

If you don't agree, which one is worse?

What is the link to the original (so I can see the mouse over text).

While that's not one of my favorites, he is making an interesting point and one many of us haven't thought of before. With all the marketing out there claiming how great HDTV is, 1080p isn't really all that great of a resolution when you compare it with your average computer monitor and we get nearly as good resolution on our tiny little cell phones. While not lol funny, it's an interesting point nonetheless and makes a whole lot more sense than the turtle comic.

[aegiswings]

I think Randall sustained a blow to the head. Can anything else explain the nonsense that he's been putting out recently?

This comic would have been marginally better if he had left out the turtle "thinking" things.

I agree. It would also be better if the turtle was smoking a fat blunt in the last panel. At least that would explain what some are seeing here as "stoner humor" and justify the comics existence.

[chompison]

Here's something. All you people complaining about this or other comics threatening to leave... go. What does he even owe you? The comics are free and so are you. Oh, but maybe you bought some xkcd stuff. Well you received your items. Transaction complete. Comics from the past probably inspired you to it but you don't have a vested interest in where the comic should go. It's Randall's baby and stay or go, xkcd will still be xkcd.

And the stuff some of you talk about. Seriously, some of you people and your pompous and obsessive need to out nerd each other. I mean shit... I'm not usually one to call people nerds since even I'm a nerd compared to normal people. But you, holy shit. And the sad thing is, I've been reading some of the new comic threads lately and it astonishes me how many of you choose to over-analyze, correct, wish he used some other much more obscure reference or just plain fail to get any shred of humour taken from non-science stuff. Rogers St. to name one.

It's like... nerds of your caliber don't even function like human beings. Your robots... and not the good kind of robots that are cool. The stupid kind that are completely hopeless and helpless without supplied outside information. WHAT.IS.NUANCE. BEEP. WHAT.IS.EMOTION. BOOP. WHAT.IS.LOVE. BZZZT. WHAT IS HUMANITY. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I never actually believed people like Sheldon existed... but here you are. And that's not really a good thing or something to be proud of. It's great that you're smart and you can do all kinds of math and shit in your head but lighten up with it and taken in some regular culture so you can fit in with society. You don't have to be on the brain clock 24/7 so punch out once in a while.



But feel free to do the same to this post. You'll just prove my point for me and I won't be following up on replies either way.

Also the comic is about not worrying about all the piddly crap that humans invent a reason to give a shit worry about. Something nerds, especially, could stand to learn but probably never will.

[aegiswings]

Here's something. All you people complaining about this or other comics threatening to leave... go. What does he even owe you? The comics are free and so are you. Oh, but maybe you bought some xkcd stuff. Well you received your items. Transaction complete. Comics from the past probably inspired you to it but you don't have a vested interest in where the comic should go. It's Randall's baby and stay or go, xkcd will still be xkcd.

And the stuff some of you talk about. Seriously, some of you people and your pompous and obsessive need to out nerd each other. I mean shit... I'm not usually one to call people nerds since even I'm a nerd compared to normal people. But you, holy shit. And the sad thing is, I've been reading some of the new comic threads lately and it astonishes me how many of you choose to over-analyze, correct, wish he used some other much more obscure reference or just plain fail to get any shred of humour taken from non-science stuff. Rogers St. to name one.

It's like... nerds of your caliber don't even function like human beings. Your robots... and not the good kind of robots that are cool. The stupid kind that are completely hopeless and helpless without supplied outside information. WHAT.IS.NUANCE. BEEP. WHAT.IS.EMOTION. BOOP. WHAT.IS.LOVE. BZZZT. WHAT IS HUMANITY. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I never actually believed people like Sheldon existed... but here you are. And that's not really a good thing or something to be proud of. It's great that you're smart and you can do all kinds of math and shit in your head but lighten up with it and taken in some regular culture so you can fit in with society. You don't have to be on the brain clock 24/7 so punch out once in a while.



But feel free to do the same to this post. You'll just prove my point for me and I won't be following up on replies either way.

Also the comic is about not worrying about all the piddly crap that humans invent a reason to give a shit worry about. Something nerds, especially, could stand to learn but probably never will.

you didn't just come to the xkcd forums and insult nerds, did you? wait, no, actually, you did. damn.

[Introbulus]

That turtle is going to be really sad when a plumber comes by to crush his hopes and dreams. And spine.

[bigjeff5]

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

If you don't agree, which one is worse?

What is the link to the original (so I can see the mouse over text).

While that's not one of my favorites, he is making an interesting point and one many of us haven't thought of before. With all the marketing out there claiming how great HDTV is, 1080p isn't really all that great of a resolution when you compare it with your average computer monitor and we get nearly as good resolution on our tiny little cell phones. While not lol funny, it's an interesting point nonetheless and makes a whole lot more sense than the turtle comic.

There is a practical reason for this, though. The further you get from a screen, the less the resolution matters. Our eyes are limited in a very real sense. For example, if I remember right at about 7 feet from a 40" screen most people can't tell the difference between 1080i and 1080p. That's huge - 1080p is about double the resolution of 1080i, yet on a 40" screen it might as well be 1080i. The distance obviously increases as you increase screen size. For 50" I think the two resolutions become indistinguishable at around 10-12 feet.

This is also why desktop monitors have always needed higher resolutions. At two feet and a 30" screen there is a noticeable difference between a 1600p monitor and a 2400p monitor - fairly small, but noticeable, but making the monitor any bigger than that generally means the user will move back from the monitor, which automatically reduces the perceived resolution. The drop-off occurs much more rapidly at these higher resolutions, so at 3-4 feet away there is no point to having a 2400p monitor instead of a 1600p, you won't really be able to see the difference.

We aren't likely to see resolutions increase much in TV's for a long, long time. The returns are so minimal that it isn't worth the hassle. Small devices are just about tapped out too - we probably won't see a much higher resolution version of the iPhone than the iPhone 4 (for a while, at least). The only devices that really have room left are things like tablets and laptops, which are large enough that when held close the resolution is noticeable. Also video glasses, but those aren't a very hot item so I wouldn't hold my breath on that.

[philip1201]

you didn't just come to the xkcd forums and insult nerds, did you? wait, no, actually, you did. damn.

You've been trolled.

Anyway, those of you who like this comic. Compare it to this one: http://xkcd.com/24/. They have a similar message: humans overload themselves with things which lose meaning while more basal emotions (sense of identity; love) remain strong as ever. Notice how this new one looks, reads and feels like utter [redacted] compared to the old one?
And by the way - this comic - he's made it before, in the alt text. Only where that comic subverted expectation, this one spells it out to you word for word.
I think Randall should switch to a monthly schedule, or maybe even an entirely free one. It's clear Randall's just pumping out filler half of the time - if he only has to post when he has a good idea, sure we might have to wait, but a few of good quality is far more valuable than many of average quality. Randall wouldn't even have to lose money - Wikipedia says less-than monthly webcomic Dresden Codak can also support it's artist. (see, constructive criticism).

Yes, the rabbit in the khaki suit? ... No, you won't be out of a job. You can always go and complain that it hasn't increased in quality ten times (presumably on a logarithmic scale, like most human experience) as much, even though the comics take ten times longer to produce. Or you can complain about the references being dated, or the comics just taking too long. But at least you can't complain as much about the quality, which I'm sure you actually do wish to improve.

[aegiswings]

you didn't just come to the xkcd forums and insult nerds, did you? wait, no, actually, you did. damn.

You've been trolled.

I dunno, looks to me like the other way around.

Anyway, those of you who like this comic. Compare it to this one: http://xkcd.com/24/. They have a similar message: humans overload themselves with things which lose meaning while more basal emotions (sense of identity; love) remain strong as ever. Notice how this new one looks, reads and feels like utter [redacted] compared to the old one?
And by the way - this comic - he's made it before, in the alt text. Only where that comic subverted expectation, this one spells it out to you word for word.

Both comics are more entertaining than this. The cat one is simply a better version of this comic and not only because it was more original at the time. To a cat, who are inherently curious creatures, with their very limited cognitive ability, must find it strange that get stressed over something that makes no sense to them. Turtles are, well, turtles are just turtles. Not much to say bout that.

I think Randall should switch to a monthly schedule, or maybe even an entirely free one. It's clear Randall's just pumping out filler half of the time - if he only has to post when he has a good idea, sure we might have to wait, but a few of good quality is far more valuable than many of average quality. Randall wouldn't even have to lose money - Wikipedia says less-than monthly webcomic Dresden Codak can also support it's artist. (see, constructive criticism).

[/quote]

I think the quality of his comics has been more or less fine recently. It's just this comic that sucked.

[Invertin]

I like all the people who are either "he was high when he wrote this" or "this has no joke at all"

The joke is that humans don't understand even the tiniest little aspects of their lives "FUCK WHERE ARE MY KEYS" but this turtle knows everything it needs to know. Because it's a turtle. We panic when we're unsure of something, but it's a turtle.

The only thing it is unsure of is what type of turtle, and I imagine that doesn't make too much of a different to it.

The alternative would be someone searching the entire house to find some food and a baby going "I am a baby, my food is in my mummy"

[aegiswings]

I like all the people who are either "he was high when he wrote this" or "this has no joke at all"

The joke is that humans don't understand even the tiniest little aspects of their lives "FUCK WHERE ARE MY KEYS" but this turtle knows everything it needs to know. Because it's a turtle. We panic when we're unsure of something, but it's a turtle.

The only thing it is unsure of is what type of turtle, and I imagine that doesn't make too much of a different to it.

The alternative would be someone searching the entire house to find some food and a baby going "I am a baby, my food is in my mummy"

The turtle is probably stressed wondering where his next meal is coming from. The life of an animal is not fun at all. Animals must dedicate pretty much all of their time to searching for food, searching for a mate, avoiding predators, and sleeping. They have no energy or time to reflect upon their lives even if they had the ability to. Nature is cruel and we should be glad we no longer have to live out in it.

If Randall was looking for a an animal that seemed eternally content and relaxed in it's environment, he should have used a house cat. They pretty much just lounge around all the time.

[Melauren]

Or maybe you can interpret it as, "Hey, you have a pet turtle and you are forgetting to feed it!". I like the latter interpretation better. But they are both still pretty stupid.

Even PBF couldn't do too much with that premise. Yet somehow still funnier than this.

[Fixblor]

So, every jerk with a catch-phrase is enlightened?
No, just the ones who can profess their own identity to themselves with integrity ...

I am a reader of this comic, and by-extension am a part of it.
I make the statement that "this comic is lame", therefore:
This comic is self-aware of its lameness.
-and thusly enlightened.

[Ithinkabouttrees]

I'm pretty sure Randall was high off his ass while writing this. Or his friend was... and he gathered inspiration?

[elleckz]

alright, you can turtle two base with bunkers siege tanks and turrets, idc, i'll just take the entire map!

[SirMustapha]

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

Huh, you think that one is bad? Novice.

If you don't agree, which one is worse?

Ladies and gentlemen, the comic that broke xkcdexplained:

[Bobbert]

Boring, neither funny nor insightful in anyway that hasn't been done by xckd before. Doesn't even really come across to me as written by someone that's high, but by someone pretending to be. Like a one-liner said by a stock character in a sitcom to attempt to indicate that the character is on drugs.

[SpringLoaded12]

Is anyone else reminded that 4/20 was two days ago?

Yeah, I was thinking he must have made this comic that day, after celebrating.


Anyway folks, enjoy this turtle tortoise trying to eat a tomato.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_N_rjkdcKU

Here's something. All you people complaining about this or other comics threatening to leave... go. What does he even owe you? The comics are free and so are you. Oh, but maybe you bought some xkcd stuff. Well you received your items. Transaction complete. Comics from the past probably inspired you to it but you don't have a vested interest in where the comic should go. It's Randall's baby and stay or go, xkcd will still be xkcd.

And the stuff some of you talk about. Seriously, some of you people and your pompous and obsessive need to out nerd each other. I mean shit... I'm not usually one to call people nerds since even I'm a nerd compared to normal people. But you, holy shit. And the sad thing is, I've been reading some of the new comic threads lately and it astonishes me how many of you choose to over-analyze, correct, wish he used some other much more obscure reference or just plain fail to get any shred of humour taken from non-science stuff. Rogers St. to name one.

It's like... nerds of your caliber don't even function like human beings. Your robots... and not the good kind of robots that are cool. The stupid kind that are completely hopeless and helpless without supplied outside information. WHAT.IS.NUANCE. BEEP. WHAT.IS.EMOTION. BOOP. WHAT.IS.LOVE. BZZZT. WHAT IS HUMANITY. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I never actually believed people like Sheldon existed... but here you are. And that's not really a good thing or something to be proud of. It's great that you're smart and you can do all kinds of math and shit in your head but lighten up with it and taken in some regular culture so you can fit in with society. You don't have to be on the brain clock 24/7 so punch out once in a while.



But feel free to do the same to this post. You'll just prove my point for me and I won't be following up on replies either way.

Also the comic is about not worrying about all the piddly crap that humans invent a reason to give a shit worry about. Something nerds, especially, could stand to learn but probably never will.

I agree with the first paragraph.

Ladies and gentlemen, the comic that broke xkcdexplained:

After reading what you said I decided to visit that disgusting place. I'm impressed. To say Randall destroyed one of his critics without uttering a word would probably be glorifying him a bit too much; a closer answer is that they hated xkcd so much that they exploded.

[neoliminal]

So then the turtle says "Why the hell did you do that?"

hahahahahhaha

[Chrisfs]

If that's right, then trees have it totally made. They simply sit there and their food and water comes to them. Tree are the zen organism.

[Chrisfs]

I like all the people who are either "he was high when he wrote this" or "this has no joke at all"

The joke is that humans don't understand even the tiniest little aspects of their lives "FUCK WHERE ARE MY KEYS" but this turtle knows everything it needs to know. Because it's a turtle. We panic when we're unsure of something, but it's a turtle.

The only thing it is unsure of is what type of turtle, and I imagine that doesn't make too much of a different to it.

The alternative would be someone searching the entire house to find some food and a baby going "I am a baby, my food is in my mummy"

The turtle is probably stressed wondering where his next meal is coming from. The life of an animal is not fun at all. Animals must dedicate pretty much all of their time to searching for food, searching for a mate, avoiding predators, and sleeping. They have no energy or time to reflect upon their lives even if they had the ability to. Nature is cruel and we should be glad we no longer have to live out in it.

If Randall was looking for a an animal that seemed eternally content and relaxed in it's environment, he should have used a house cat. They pretty much just lounge around all the time.

The quoted poster makes some good points. It's not so much what animal life is actually like, it's the popular conception of animal life. In the same way that people play all sorts of war games (from chess, to Risk, to WOW) for the general excitement of conflict but not the actual experience of war. Turtles(and tortoises) are generally thought
of as patient, considered and relaxed. The Turtle and the Hare for example. Also while I may be contradicting myself a bit. Cats are thought of as high strung especially compared to dogs or other domestic animals. Many cat owners will attest to their cats suddenly deciding to dash around the house for no reason at all.

[cyanyoshi]

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

If you don't agree, which one is worse?

No, this is not the worst xkcd ever. This one is worse: 404. Also, there's this: Filler Art.

[merthsoft]

The turtle... doesn't have that problem with differing opinions ... it doesn't not know whether it deleted a file (whatever that might be from a turtle perspective) or not. Men have files and recycle bins and all kinds of stuff. Turtles have clarity. And that's cool (call me a hippie if you like).

"Turtles have clarity."

There is where you are wrong. We don't know whether turtles have clarity or not because we are not turtles. Turtles appear to lack any kind of what we would consider intelligence. Or turtles could be balls of stress and worry about all kinds of turtle things all the time for all we know. The only think we can really assume is that turtles probably don't care about deleted files.

Zhuangzi and Huizi were strolling along the dam of the Hao Waterfall when Zhuangzi said, "See how the minnows come out and dart around where they please! That's what fish really enjoy!"

Huizi said, "You're not a fish — how do you know what fish enjoy?"

Zhuangzi said, "You're not me, so how do you know I don't know what fish enjoy?"

Huizi said, "I'm not you, so I certainly don't know what you know. On the other hand, you're certainly not a fish — so that still proves you don't know what fish enjoy!"

Zhuangzi said, "Let's go back to your original question, please. You asked me how I know what fish enjoy — so you already knew I knew it when you asked the question. I know it by standing here beside the Hao."

[ProverbialNoose]

Wouldn't you like to be a turtle too?

It's turtles all the way down.

I approve of the reference.

[KrytenKoro]

Zhuangzi and Huizi were strolling along the dam of the Hao Waterfall when Zhuangzi said, "See how the minnows come out and dart around where they please! That's what fish really enjoy!"

Huizi said, "You're not a fish — how do you know what fish enjoy?"

Zhuangzi said, "You're not me, so how do you know I don't know what fish enjoy?"

Huizi said, "I'm not you, so I certainly don't know what you know. On the other hand, you're certainly not a fish — so that still proves you don't know what fish enjoy!"

Zhuangzi said, "Let's go back to your original question, please. You asked me how I know what fish enjoy — so you already knew I knew it when you asked the question. I know it by standing here beside the Hao."

I know you're just quoting that, but that story is awful. Zhuangzi's logic is so ass-backwards that it pisses me off.

If xkcd gets too brainy, people don't like it.
If it gets too simplistic, people don't like it.

Incidentally, I think this is exactly what I like about this strip: The turtle (and yes, it is a turtle, especially in American English, according to Wikipedia, my Collins Dictionary and whatever you like ...) doesn't have that problem with differing opinions ... it doesn't not know whether it deleted a file (whatever that might be from a turtle perspective) or not. Men have files and recycle bins and all kinds of stuff. Turtles have clarity. And that's cool (call me a hippie if you like).

Isn't....isn't like everything about the past xkcd is getting worked up about technical stuff?

This comic is basically saying "Nah, brah, all the previous comics just need to chillaaaaax."

And you guys are still fellating it.

What the hell? How obvious does Randall have to make it that he's making fun of you?

[Bobbert]

The turtle... doesn't have that problem with differing opinions ... it doesn't not know whether it deleted a file (whatever that might be from a turtle perspective) or not. Men have files and recycle bins and all kinds of stuff. Turtles have clarity. And that's cool (call me a hippie if you like).

"Turtles have clarity."

There is where you are wrong. We don't know whether turtles have clarity or not because we are not turtles. Turtles appear to lack any kind of what we would consider intelligence. Or turtles could be balls of stress and worry about all kinds of turtle things all the time for all we know. The only think we can really assume is that turtles probably don't care about deleted files.

Zhuangzi and Huizi were strolling along the dam of the Hao Waterfall when Zhuangzi said, "See how the minnows come out and dart around where they please! That's what fish really enjoy!"

Huizi said, "You're not a fish — how do you know what fish enjoy?"

Zhuangzi said, "You're not me, so how do you know I don't know what fish enjoy?"

Huizi said, "I'm not you, so I certainly don't know what you know. On the other hand, you're certainly not a fish — so that still proves you don't know what fish enjoy!"

Zhuangzi said, "Let's go back to your original question, please. You asked me how I know what fish enjoy — so you already knew I knew it when you asked the question. I know it by standing here beside the Hao."

But Zhuangzi asked "how do you know I don't know" meaning he knew that Huizi knew that he didn't know.

[Ephemeron]

Ladies and gentlemen, the comic that broke xkcdexplained

Whilst I mostly agree, the worst comic IMHO has to be 851.

[FourTael]

So... he's become a Taoist?

I can make this joke because I'm a Taoist. And, because it's a joke about Taoism, you can, too.

...Darnit. Someone already referenced Taoism in their post. Although, I think perhaps a better quote would be this:

Once, when Chuang Tzu was fishing in the P'u River, the king of Ch'u sent two officials to go and announce to him: "I would like to trouble you with the administration of my realm."

Chuang Tzu held on to the fishing pole and, without turning his head, said, "I have heard that there is a sacred tortoise in Ch'u that has been dead for three thousand years. The king keeps it wrapped in cloth and boxed, and stores it in the ancestral temple. Now would this tortoise rather be dead and have its bones left behind and honored? Or would it rather be alive and dragging its tail in the mud?"

"It would rather be alive and dragging its tail in the mud," said the two officials.

Chuang Tzu said, "Go away! I'll drag my tail in the mud!"

[clanders]

Here's something. All you people complaining about this or other comics threatening to leave... go. What does he even owe you? The comics are free and so are you.

Honestly, the only reason I visit xkcd anymore is so I can understand the xkcd sucks reviews and post on the forums about how terrible the latest iteration of Randy-Monroe-takes-a-shit-on-the-internet-and-gets-paid is.

It works for me.

[ritvax]

Alt-text: You're a turtle!

Boo, no commentary from the OP.

I was really hoping for a LOGO joke...

-ritvax

[mschmidt62]

My personal theory: Randall recently completed his Last Will and Testament, and he thought Testament was a strange word, like testudinian, and so he imagined what it would be like to have a Last Will and Testudinian. The turtle that will be around when he is gone.

[mschmidt62]

Oh, and cyanyoshi, I thought Filler Art was hilarious. You have to know the whole webcomics milieu to really appreciate it, though.

[SirMustapha]

Oh, and cyanyoshi, I thought Filler Art was hilarious. You have to know the whole webcomics milieu to really appreciate it, though.

I agree: it's clever and funny. You'd only find it "one of the worst" if you missed the irony.

[Daggoth]

So, Sir must-troll-pha, people who disliked the comic are entitled to their opinion, but the people who disagree with those opinions, and want to make ad-hominiem attacks, are to be ridiculized and labeled fanboys?

[SirMustapha]

So, Sir must-troll-pha, people who disliked the comic are entitled to their opinion, but the people who disagree with those opinions, and want to make ad-hominiem attacks, are to be ridiculized and labeled fanboys?

Congratulations, you just answered your own question!

[Kobukson]

So, how are you holding up? Because, I'm a potato.

I'm a banana. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH5ay10RTGY)

Apparently fruit are much more high maintenance than a turtle. Who'd a thought?

[KrytenKoro]

But Zhuangzi asked "how do you know I don't know" meaning he knew that Huizi knew that he didn't know.

That. That absolute torturing of language instead of just answering the guy with "I don't" or "Because of X". ARHGAARGAHRAGH. That's why I hate that story.

[FourTael]

But Zhuangzi asked "how do you know I don't know" meaning he knew that Huizi knew that he didn't know.

That. That absolute torturing of language instead of just answering the guy with "I don't" or "Because of X". ARHGAARGAHRAGH. That's why I hate that story.

ok, enough arguing.

Can we all just agree that this is the worst. xkcd. ever?

ITT: People who don't have it figured out.

Lol cool comic. I didn't read too much into it, as it just seemed nice.

Also ITT: People who do have it figured out... man.