xkcd

by **Aikanaro** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:50 pm UTC

This dissappoints me. As I mentioned in another thread, I think he should have just pulled a Stephen Bylerly, and waited as long as possible before releasing the information.

by **Dauric** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:59 pm UTC

Aikanaro wrote:This dissappoints me. As I mentioned in another thread, I think he should have just pulled a Stephen Bylerly, and waited as long as possible before releasing the information.

So Obama doesnt' have a valid birth certificate because he's really a robot*.

Okay everyone, All together on the count of three.. One, Two, Three...

"I for one welcome our new robot overlords."

*Yeah, I know that's not what Aikanaro's saying, but I couldn't pass up the joke.

by **Jessica** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:36 pm UTC

Oh look, Birth certificate doesn't matter!

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

by **Heisenberg** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:53 pm UTC

Obama still won't release a blood sample to prove he's not a werewolf.

by **Dauric** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:59 pm UTC

Heisenberg wrote:Obama still won't release a blood sample to prove he's not a werewolf.

...or a Gamma-Quadrant changling, or the alien Thing buried in arctic ice and inadvertently released by a team of researchers.

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:06 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:Oh look, Birth certificate doesn't matter!

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

Is it even possible to renounce one's citizenship? Is it even possible to do it as a minor?

by **3pinner** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:13 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
Jessica wrote:Oh look, Birth certificate doesn't matter!

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

Is it even possible to renounce one's citizenship? Is it even possible to do it as a minor?

yes and yes

http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship ... p_776.html

Spoiler:

by **The Mighty Thesaurus** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:15 pm UTC

IIRC, one must renounce one's citizenship in order to become a German citizen.

by **Garm** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:19 pm UTC

Orly Taitz, the birther queen, has clarified the point of the birther movement. It's succinctly summarized in this headline from Talking Points Memo:

Orly Taitz: Obama's Long-Form Birth Certificate Should Say 'Negro' Not 'African'

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:20 pm UTC

3pinner wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:
Jessica wrote:Oh look, Birth certificate doesn't matter!

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

Is it even possible to renounce one's citizenship? Is it even possible to do it as a minor?

yes and yes

http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship ... p_776.html

Spoiler:
A person wishing to renounce his or her U.S. citizenship must voluntarily and with intent to relinquish U.S. citizenship:

1. appear in person before a U.S. consular or diplomatic officer,
2. in a foreign country (normally at a U.S. Embassy or Consulate); and
3. sign an oath of renunciation

F. RENUNCIATION FOR MINOR CHILDREN

Parents cannot renounce U.S. citizenship on behalf of their minor children. Before an oath of renunciation will be administered under Section 349(a)(5) of the INA, a person under the age of eighteen must convince a U.S. diplomatic or consular officer that he/she fully understands the nature and consequences of the oath of renunciation, is not subject to duress or undue influence, and is voluntarily seeking to renounce his/her U.S. citizenship

Okay, so if he wants to show that Obama renounced his citizenship, he needs to find the appropriate document. If it isn't there, he didn't. Problem solved.

Garm wrote:Orly Taitz, the birther queen, has clarified the point of the birther movement.

I know her personally (a bit). She's very nice. Why is it that racists are always so nice? My dad had some great-Uncle who was a funny and intelligent guy and who was always going on about how black people are the problem with society. All the racists I know are very nice people. It gets very confusing.

by **Spambot5546** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:24 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:Okay, so if he wants to show that Obama renounced his citizenship, he needs to find the appropriate document. If it isn't there, he didn't. Problem solved.

No, President Obama must now produce his Long-Form Did Not Renounce American Citizenship While In Indonesia Certificate. It's standard boilerplate, I can't believe he hasn't produced it already. Unless he's...hiding something.

When you read the word "hiding" try to imagine the camera zooming in on my eyes, which have narrowed into a suspicious squint. Oh yes. Also, dramatic music.

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:25 pm UTC

Spambot5546 wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:Okay, so if he wants to show that Obama renounced his citizenship, he needs to find the appropriate document. If it isn't there, he didn't. Problem solved.

No, President Obama must now produce his Long-Form Did Not Renounce American Citizenship While In Indonesia Certificate. It's standard boilerplate, I can't believe he hasn't produced it already. Unless he's...hiding something.

When you read the word "hiding" try to imagine the camera zooming in on my eyes, which have narrowed into a suspicious squint. Oh yes. Also, dramatic music.

by **Роберт** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:35 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:Oh look, Birth certificate doesn't matter!

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

As I mentioned earlier, birthers were already saying "who thinks Obama is going to produce a 'birth certificate' soon? He's had enough time to forge it." This well before Obama finally got around to releasing it.

Also:

Bear in mind, the former Pennsylvania prosecutor also sued President George W. Bush, claiming in 2004 that the president was complicit in the September 11 attacks.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/birther- ... z1KkKB0yyI

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:45 pm UTC

My dad just tweeted (or rather re-tweeted) the following:

@esmenter wrote:RT @JohnFugelsang Donald Trump is the first man in history to try and take credit for someone else proving he's a liar.

by **The Mighty Thesaurus** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:48 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
Garm wrote:Orly Taitz, the birther queen, has clarified the point of the birther movement.
I know her personally (a bit). She's very nice. Why is it that racists are always so nice? My dad had some great-Uncle who was a funny and intelligent guy and who was always going on about how black people are the problem with society. All the racists I know are very nice people. It gets very confusing.

they are nice to you because you're one of them. To people who aren't in the White People Club, they are downright cunts.

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:55 pm UTC

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:
Garm wrote:Orly Taitz, the birther queen, has clarified the point of the birther movement.
I know her personally (a bit). She's very nice. Why is it that racists are always so nice? My dad had some great-Uncle who was a funny and intelligent guy and who was always going on about how black people are the problem with society. All the racists I know are very nice people. It gets very confusing.
they are nice to you because you're one of them. To people who aren't in the White People Club, they are downright cunts.

Or they try to rationalize making an exception. I'd imagine that if I showed my great-great uncle my best friend (who is black, but adopted by a white Jewish family), he'd say "of course he's a good kid, he was raised Jewish." I don't know, those people are weird.

by **Qaanol** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:17 pm UTC

I see rumors floating around that Donald Trump promised to reveal his income tax forms and net worth in exchange for Obama’s birth certificate. Can anyone confirm that he actually made such a statement?

by **Dauric** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:27 pm UTC

Qaanol wrote:I see rumors floating around that Donald Trump promised to reveal his income tax forms and net worth in exchange for Obama’s birth certificate. Can anyone confirm that he actually made such a statement?

... If he does reveal his tax information who's up for using the information to steal his identity and empty his bank accounts?

If the relevant bits are redacted just hire the crazy lawyer to go all conspiracy theory on Trump until someone slips up and reveals the relevant numbers. -Then- we'll empty his bank accounts.

by **Spambot5546** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:36 pm UTC

I saw something on The Onion about Trump promising to reveal a certificate proving he's not a sack of shit. Maybe that's what you're thinking of?

by **podbaydoor** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:21 pm UTC

Also, conspiracy theorists are now claiming that Donald Trump's hair did not originate in the U.S. Can we get some more dramatic gopher in here?

by **Diadem** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:57 pm UTC

According to that birth certificate Obama's mother was 18 when she got a child. So most likely she was 17 when he was conceived. Barack Obama's father was a paedophile!!!!!oneone!!

That's what he's been trying to hide all this time!

by **Diadem** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:01 pm UTC

A few other things I found interesting
- The birth certificate actually has a checkbox asking if you're working on a plantation. Wtf?
- It registers race of parents. Again, wtf?
- The signature of attendent actually only confirms he was 'born alive on the date and hour stated above'. It does not mention location. He could have been born Kenya after all, and the signature would not be fraudulent.
- Why does it ask for the 'usual occupation' of the father but not the mother. What kind of sexist bullshit is that?

by **Thirty-one** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:12 pm UTC

Diadem wrote:- The signature of attendent actually only confirms he was 'born alive on the date and hour stated above'. It does not mention location. He could have been born Kenya after all, and the signature would not be fraudulent.

My main worry about Obama was that he was a zombie in any case, so I'm hugely relieved to find he wasn't stillborn.
Now he just needs to prove he didn't die any of the days leading up to him being elected.

by **Роберт** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:29 pm UTC

So was Obama holding out just so he could see what kind of deals he could get? And Donald Trump's offer of disclosing tax documents seemed good enough?

by **Endless Mike** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:36 pm UTC

I see no mention of him being human. He could still be a reptile.

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:44 pm UTC

Endless Mike wrote:I see no mention of him being human. He could still be a reptile.

He's clearly a monkey.

- The signature of attendent actually only confirms he was 'born alive on the date and hour stated above'. It does not mention location. He could have been born Kenya after all, and the signature would not be fraudulent.

This explains everything! Unless we have a video of the birth which then pans up to the stars (with no visible cuts) so that the date and the location of the event can be scientifically, astronomically verified, then we can't believe him.

- Why does it ask for the 'usual occupation' of the father but not the mother. What kind of sexist bullshit is that?

It's the '60s. Ever seen mad men? According to my grandparents, it was really like that. Well actually they said it was like that "for goyim".

by **JBJ** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:48 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
Endless Mike wrote:I see no mention of him being human. He could still be a reptile.

He's clearly a monkey.

Seriously...? You do realize there are racist connotations to that comparison, right? ... RIGHT!?!?

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:51 pm UTC

JBJ wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:
Endless Mike wrote:I see no mention of him being human. He could still be a reptile.

He's clearly a monkey.
Seriously...? You do realize there are racist connotations to that comparison, right? ... RIGHT!?!?

It was a satirical comment on the racist opinions of the birthers. Relax. The point is: they've actually said that and made that comparison.

by **CorruptUser** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:52 pm UTC

Lies, all lies! Obama is an outsider that plane-shifted here, along with his birth certificate! Have we ever seen him survive a stab from a silver or enchanted weapon?

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:54 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Lies, all lies! Obama is an outsider that plane-shifted here, along with his birth certificate! Have we ever seen him survive a stab from a silver or enchanted weapon?

I hear he's actually just a hyper-dimensional consciousness embedded in the fabric of space time using his power over physics to manipulate the curvature of spacetime to redirect light to give the appearance of being human.

by **hanecter** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:55 pm UTC

He's a witch!

by **TheGrammarBolshevik** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:55 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:This explains everything! Unless we have a video of the birth which then pans up to the stars (with no visible cuts) so that the date and the location of the event can be scientifically, astronomically verified, then we can't believe him.

We would also need some way to prove that the infant in the video is Barack Obama.

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:58 pm UTC

hanecter wrote:He's a witch!

Well I don't know about you, but I've never seen him weighed against a duck, which is very suspicious.

TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:This explains everything! Unless we have a video of the birth which then pans up to the stars (with no visible cuts) so that the date and the location of the event can be scientifically, astronomically verified, then we can't believe him.

We would also need some way to prove that the infant in the video is Barack Obama.

Clearly we need to also have a video of him touching the camera, which was then hermetically sealed in a bomb-proof container so that we can now use the blood on the lens of that camera to compare to the current president.

Sorry about my very frequent posting by the way. I really have nothing better to do

by **Роберт** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:59 pm UTC

TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:This explains everything! Unless we have a video of the birth which then pans up to the stars (with no visible cuts) so that the date and the location of the event can be scientifically, astronomically verified, then we can't believe him.

We would also need some way to prove that the infant in the video is Barack Obama.

And probably some proof that the person acting as president is Barack Obama as well. How do we know he didn't steal the real Barack Obama's documents? Any half-black person could have done it unnoticed. Amirite?

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:08 pm UTC

Роберт wrote:
TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:This explains everything! Unless we have a video of the birth which then pans up to the stars (with no visible cuts) so that the date and the location of the event can be scientifically, astronomically verified, then we can't believe him.

We would also need some way to prove that the infant in the video is Barack Obama.

And probably some proof that the person acting as president is Barack Obama as well. How do we know he didn't steal the real Barack Obama's documents? Any half-black person could have done it unnoticed. Amirite?

Oh absolutely, they all look the same. See this side-by-side picture of my half-black friend and Obama:

Spoiler:

fucking identical

by **CorruptUser** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:09 pm UTC

We also need proof that the people verifying the evidence are not themselves proxies of Obama, and have to provide their own videos of live birth, which are verified by another group of people who also have to provide videos of birth, which are then verified...

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:10 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:We also need proof that the people verifying the evidence are not themselves proxies of Obama, and have to provide their own videos of live birth, which are verified by another group of people who also have to provide videos of birth, which are then verified...

Yes, the verifications have to go all the way back to the Great Glenn Beck himself as only he and Palin are trustworthy and pure because they have never said anything wrong ever.

by **Роберт** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:11 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:Oh absolutely, they all look the same. See this side-by-side picture of my half-black friend and Obama:
Spoiler:
asher_obama.png

fucking identical

So which one is which?

by **sourmìlk** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:13 pm UTC

Роберт wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:Oh absolutely, they all look the same. See this side-by-side picture of my half-black friend and Obama:
Spoiler:
asher_obama.png

fucking identical

So which one is which?

Honestly unless I looked at my filesystem to see the pictures' names I couldn't tell you. But I think the one on the left with the balloon is Obama.

by **pseudoidiot** » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:16 pm UTC

Obama eats at McDonald's.
McDonald's makes people fat.
Therefore, Obama is the cause of America's obesity epidemic!

Who is online